Foster Care: 3 AM.

The phone rang early one morning as my wife, and I attempted to sleep. I was startled! I began to stumble as I reached for the phone. Looking at the alarm clock, it was precisely 3:00 AM. I thought, "Who could that be?" Being groggy, I answered the phone with a groan, "Hello."

The voice on the other end was unfamiliar to me; unclear as to who it was. Speaking in Spanish mixed with a little English, the caller wanted to talk to one of our foster daughters. I interrupted the caller in mid-sentence, "Do you know what time it is?" I added, "What do you want to talk to her for at this hour?"

The man on the other end of the phone attempted to tell me about how important it was that he speak with our foster daughter. He said over-and-over, "I love her!" Of course, my immediate response was "No-ooo w-a-y!" We went back-and-forth in the conversation.

Over time I came to learn that this man was from Mexico. I quickly went to the internet to do a reverse look-up on the phone number. The call came from a tiny town at the southernmost Texas border. This man was from Mexico. As he continued on the phone call, he stated that he got to know our foster daughter and was even dating her on a few of his trips in our area. We had no idea, but we learned later that they would visit with each other during school hours when we thought that she was attending classes. It turns out after further investigation that he was carrying drugs into the region from Mexico. As an aside, I served as a chaplain with the police department, and this information was eventually sent to a contact I had with an investigator. 

I reasoned that his phone call was not intended for me. He didn't want to speak with me after all. He had hoped that our fostered daughter would have picked up the phone. Likely he was in the neighborhood, so I quickly took notice by looking out the window to see if his car was in the driveway or down the road.

As bizarre as that call came was it brought to mind how at-risk these girls were who lived with us. Had they lived with their parents or any others, they would have been putting themselves at-risk more often. We were concerned about this young lady being kidnapped and maybe even taken into Mexico against her will as a part of human trafficking. At least that night, our foster daughter was safe at home.

One of the most basic requirements of being a foster parent to at-risk youth is to keep them safe and help them grow from the experience. We hoped that they would make better decisions for their future. Getting their education completed and staying off drugs as well as not putting themselves at-risk was our defining responsibility.

There’s so much that could be said as we think of each of the girls that lived with us, but we discovered through those times that our attempt to keep them safe and even demonstrate an appropriate love was not going to be easy.  It was the message we hoped would eventually sink into those extraordinary lives.

As we further gained a sense of respect and formed a bond, we would begin to see more and more positive results. I didn’t mean that there weren’t issues to work through, but it was getting better.

We grew as well in the process. We learned so much from these relationships. Our faith also improved as we listened and learned from them. We learned certainly to have compassion, but we also learned insightful values from these young people as well. They certainly helped us to understand prayer more deeply and how to have patience.

In this particular case, we learned the risk of human trafficking and drug abuse. We learned a bit more about what compels at-risk youth to search for acceptance and love in so many different ways.

Whether the phone rang at 3 AM or during the day, surprises lured all around.  We desire to demonstrate a healthy family dynamic while also respecting them as people. We made every effort to offer advice while setting healthy boundaries and defining roles that could be principles they could live by in their adult life. We worked very closely with their probation officer do help them succeed. We spent many hours in case management as well as working with their natural parent (s).

They were challenges, and there were rewards. We felt like the rewards were worth the risks and difficulties. We remained open to learning throughout the process, and over time, became better at what we did well also forming unique bonds that exist even to this day.