You’ve heard about secret shoppers. These are people who are paid to secretly shop and share their experiences with the public unwittingly revealing weaknesses in the competition. Today I want to reveal my experiences as I have visited churches of a variety of denominations. These are not criticism that are meant to be negative but hopefully what church leaders can learn from.
In my travels I have been like a secret visitor. I am generally invited to attend and even speak in the service but to the general audience, at first I am simply someone unfamiliar. My first impression obviously leaves a lasting feeling. It is obvious to me what is lacking while to the regular attendee, it is often missed. I often wonder if there needs to be a survey taken as people exit the church on their first visit.
I visit churches everyday. In my travels I may "drop-in" on churches without an appointment. In those times I keenly observe some interesting things that the regular attendee may overlook. The visitor who attends the church may notice many things regular attendees have long forgotten. For example, the average attendee and maybe even church leaders often overlook these items. If I pointed them out they will likely remember seeing these things but grew apathetic to the seriousness of the blemish.
Here are a few. Weeds are over-grown. Entrance signage is lacking. Restrooms are not clearly marked.
For visitors, especially the unchurched (those who seldom attend) these kinds of things are very important. These are things, that if not cared for may create distractions and could even turn visitors off.
1. Your website.
Often the very first visitor you ever have is made in the secret of their own web surfing. People check your church out first online.
According to a survey conducted by the Pew Research Center, nearly 60% of people who are 30 or younger will search online before visiting a church.When those seeking your church find you online, they develop a judgement of what they may experience if coming to your church for the first few times. It colors their perspective of you.
First Impressions Online.
Ask yourself:
What are we trying to convey on your website?
Do you use language that is common Christian lingo or code?
If you could clear your mind of all you know about your church what might you need to know?
2. You speak a strange language.
I remember attending a church for the very first time. Although I attend many different experiences this one experience totally threw even me off.
As I approach the church entrance I was greeted by someone, though well-intended m, who obviously wasn’t expecting a visitor. Perhaps the church had very few outsiders. This person attempted to be helpful actually turned me off. Just as I approached the entrance he greeted my by saying, "You have never been here before, have you? At this church we wear a tie and carry a Bible! May I offer you this King James Bible? It is the only book for me."
If I had never been to church I would have likely turned around and left. Since I am a season veteran of church attendance, I simply replied, "You must own the place! May I have your permission to attend?" Later, after speaking a sermon, I think that they wanted a do-over.
It’s not likely that your greeters would have come across that badly but there are things that potential he can turn a visitor off within the first 60 seconds of their arrival. Throughout the experience a visitor may hear a lot of different words they had never experienced or heard before. It may be that they wished somebody handed them the code book. Bear in-mind that as Christians we often use familiar phrases and gestures that a visit or may not understand but ultimately we need to make them feel welcomed and a feeling of belonging.
3. Your parking fails.
Something that most church leaders fail to recognize is the experience that visitors have when they first pull into your parking lot. Most of the leaders arrive early enough to park wherever they like with plenty of spaces bailable. For visitors, the parking lot matters First in their experience on your campus. If they have trouble finding a parking spot or it seems that all of the good parking, that is parking close to the entrance has been taken they are likely to simply drive out and go to a different church or have an early lunch.
That used to be said that seating capacity determined your attendance but in actuality it is the parking. According to Chuck Lawless, your parking lot is communicating a negative or positive message to your visitor. I highly recommend you read 12 Parking Lot Problems.
Like every other ministry, your parking lot is a ministry. Lawless says that you must pray for this ministry like every other ministry. I believe because it is a chief problem, and maybe an accident waiting to happen (pun intended).
4. Your sacred seat.
I remember one of the church I attended one Sunday and was asked to move my seat on three different occasions. It was hard to believe but this particular church, though it was small and there was plenty of seating, people had their preference and their seating chart. Ironically, I ended up sitting in the very front row since no one really ever declared that to be their seat.
You might find this humorous but in reality people stick to their turf in their church. While this is more than just a seating problem it is an attitude that is pervasive in the church. We often hear people not wanting to delegate the task or even give up something because it is after all "their" ministry.
The danger of those who have attended a long time is that they become comfortable and even complacent and settle with a rut that could become I distraction to visitors while also creating distance in their relationships. Too often we worry about the style and color and preferences well forgetting about the most central ministry of the church and that is to the community around their neighborhood. I think we find that Jesus could be disappointed that some of the experiences he would have if he was the first time guest in your church.
5. ALL your music is unfamiliar.
Now this leads me to another point that is likely to be a double edge sword and perhaps a source of irritation for many.
We have to argue about the style of music or we desire to have new music to appeal to the younger but it actuality we’re really missing something significant. We forgot the visitor.
To the visitor, all of the music is unfamiliar! Put yourself in the shoes of someone who seldom attend your church. I remember attending a church one time when they did a special emphasis on visitors. What was interesting to me is that they’ve worked very hard to have all of the right music and prep everyone for visitors. I observed from the balcony as the music was underway. All of the new music was loud and melodic. The worship leaders worked very hard to choose music that would make young people feel welcomed. It was even designed so that visitors would not be put off by stale and uncomfortable lyrics. I observed that the visitors did not sing at all.
Ironically, as the worship continued they sang one song from the hymnal. Perhaps it was to make some of the older people feel more comfortable but what I observed, perched in the balcony, the old hymn made even the visitor want to sing. It was the ever-familiar, Amazing Grace.
It’s not just the music but it is the form of worship order. Well I don’t think that we need to take out every thing familiar to worship we just need to recognize that visitors don’t always have the experience to keep up with everyone else. Whether it’s the standing and sitting at the appropriate times or the ever awkward greeting time, it’s important that we consider how the visitor feels.
6. You pay "special attention" on visitors while neglecting their needs.
Many churches try to find clever ways to identify visitors. It becomes increasingly difficult to identify "outsiders" because so many people move from church to church, like window shopping. Since there is a large frequency of these tactics, I thought I would also share my thoughts from my visitors perspective.
You might call these gimmicks that are used in nearly every church, big or small. The attempt is to make a visitor feel welcomed but from a visitor standpoint it actually may do the opposite. I’ve been there when I’ve been offered a special cup with some candy in it if I would stop at the welcome center before leaving church. It’s these kind of tactics that can become detrimental in your attempt to connect with visitors.
For those that have been to church and may even be visiting from another church it feels very different than the first time guest who has very little experience in the local church. Some churches may even have a welcome packet that you carry with you throughout the day, including a button that you wear that identifies you as being new to church.
Years ago I remember John Maxwell using the tactics of asking visitors to stand at a certain part in the service. Perhaps in those days it was a little more acceptable but today that would be embarrassing and even detrimental. Visitors often want to remain under the radar while taking in the experience.
I remember one Sunday when the pastor not only pointed out who was visiting but he called them up on the platform in and attempt to make them feel welcomed. As you can imagine, it had quite the opposite effect.
I believe that those who are visitors, especially first time guest would rather have authentic and genuine expressions that are kind expressions. A gentle acknowledgment of their attendance may be just the ticket and allow each person to respond as they feel comfortable. Having door greeters can be the perfect solution by simply asking, "Is this your first time?" Or asking, "how often have you attended here?" Perhaps there’s a risk of offending a regular attender but by properly training your congregation can understand this new tactic that can alleviate any of those negative impressions.
Ask yourself:
What do visitors need? Perhaps the most helpful thing you can do is tell people where to find the restrooms, nursery for their kids, and escort them to seating.
How can you provide the best hospitality for people? How have a gift ready for those that self-identify as visitors without making an announcement.
What would make you feel more accepted if it were your first Sunday as a guest? It is more important that you treat people fairly and have a proper follow up that personalizes their experience.
7. You convey the wrong message.
Visitors are like everyone else. They are just as special as the regular attendee! As churches work overtime to meet new people they may actually be sending the wrong message.
Are you sending the wrong message? Did you know that it is cheaper and more effective to retain people than reach outsiders?
Treat people as you would want to be treated is far more effective than creative gimmicks.
While the church tries to meet the mission it is also important to help your existing congregation to be trained in the process. It is part of the Great Commission to disciple your people as well. Most of your church people will understand if you explain your motive and responsibilities to help the "others" to find the hope they have in Christ.
Promote your values and you will be amazed by how people respond. They too have needs that your values can meet. Think about it and state with one central question; How is what we do going to bring people into a personal experience with a loving God no matter who they are?
8. Your mission (for insiders) is not consistent with their (outsider) experience.
Every church usually has a stated mission. Most churches have referred to the Great Commission in Matthew 28 as their mission. While many use other, creative language yet they essentially use the same idea. The idea to reach the lost and the least of the community; those who are outside the church.
It is usually well-intended. No church sets out to convey inconsistent messaging. Yet, never-the-less, they have misaligned messages. For those on the inside the meaning is an encouragement to be people of outreach. To those that are visiting the message may actually be misunderstood. Even for the passive and non-active attendees the message is that those on the outside are more important than those on the inside.
Pastors may actually believe that this message is motivating but to visitors it is uncomfortable. They are the target and not in personally ways. Visitors are made to feel like they are being sold something. Those who are seldom connected to the church may actually feel strange attending since most seem to understand the meaning of the message. While outsiders often are like the one who hears the joke and punchline but don't get it. They are embarrassed and it reinforces their feeling of not belonging.
I recommend that the mission express the need to love people not just see people as a target. The mission of the Great Commission is that of belonging and by conveying this to outsiders will actually help them to feel more of a part of the organization.
9. Your insiders playbook.
This brings me to the code book. For those on the outside, our customs and traditions are confusing and we need to define our "churchy" language. When we use ritual or tradition we are conveying culture and tradition that is not at all the experience of those on the outside.
Sure, we may need to educate those who question these activities. This is called discipleship. As new people join in a deeper way many will accept these tradition and conform. It may be the goal of your programs but in reality fewer are attending the deeper walk of faith through Sunday School. We are not surprised to learn that church attendance, especially Sunday School attendance is shrinking.
What is the answer? It may be that we need to explain more as we lead worship. We may need to use the Sunday Morning Worship time as a form of discipleship. I attended a Catholic Wedding recently. My nephew was joining the Church as part of the tradition and the whole wedding structure was unknown to me and most of my family who grew up Protestant. What was impressive was the way the Priest explained each part of the ritual and activities. I was impressed. He was gentle and gave us the insider's code to each part of the service.
It may be that most of what we do is easily understood but there are some things that we need to explain. As the church spends time in worship, we may need to explain some of the traditions like Communion, Baptism, and most especially the Offering. Simply sharing the "why" we do things is important. We need to go beyond just saying that this is an act of worship for members. We need to explain that generosity is a value we hold to. We need to let everyone know that giving is something everyone can do because it means "sharing" what we have with others. These are consistent with what everyone expects.
I also think that we may need to even explain the many times we "open our altar" up for prayer. This phrase is common to the attendee but for visitors we need to explain that the altar is a symbol of grace and that it is where many meet God in prayer. It is a place of total surrender of our needs to a loving God who deeply cares for the things that concern us most.
Ask yourself: What part of our worship service may feel strange to someone who has not grown up with this tradition? How can I put into plain language for those that may not understand.
10. Your welcome message sounds canned.
I cannot explain the importance of this point better that to say, STOP SAYING THE SAME THING OVER-AND-OVER. We have our canned pitch that we may think works but in reality it comes across as a canned statement. It may feel like a script that is read. Most will overlook it if they have heard it so many times. For those that are new to your church, it may not feel personal. Common phrases I have heard include:
"Please fill out the contact card."
"Please complete the pew pad..."
"Let us know you are here by signing in..."
"If you are visiting with us..."
It may be difficult to track people attending but in reality we may need to explain this activity in simple terms that don't sound like a canned speech. We might want to consider using warm expressions that speak personally to those that are guests. Try saying something like, "Now let me speak to those that may be new here with us. I am glad you are here and I want to meet you. Please meet me after church at the Welcome Center. I want to know how we may meet your needs." Using the "I" word and personally meeting them is an easy and helpful approach for those who are new.
You may also want to have a designated scout or two looking for visitors or maybe being directed to those that are new by ushers or door greeters can be helpful. Depending on the size of the church you may have to delegate this task but ultimately you want everyone to feel welcomed, not just newbies.
Conclusion. Taking time to re-evaluate the experience of being new is important. Take a vacation from your church and be a visitor a few Sunday's a year. As you observe the parking lot experience or the feeling you have entering the church building, take note and bring those impressions to your leadership team. Make improvements based on what you needed when you were a visitor.
Focus your guest relations on the needs people have not your church needs. Sure you need to know who is attending but in reality your guests need to feel comfortable and relaxed. The church needs to listen and understand that most guests are nervous and often confused about this new environment. They need to feel secure about bringing their children with them. They need to feel safe that no one will call them out during the service. They need to feel certain that they will be treated with normal hospitality that everyone else feels as well.
