Giving Yourself Permission To....

I recently was in a seminar as a friend of mine shared about the importance of grieving loss. It was with a group of pastors when Mike shared that it’s okay to give yourself permission to grieve.

It struck me, in my travels, I come across many pastors in which I hear of their hardships and difficulties. Pastoring today is a very lonely occupation. I hear Pastors tell me that they don’t know who they can share their toughest heart-aches with. They wonder who they can trust to be vulnerable with.

When my friend shared that you need to give yourself permission to grieve it hit me. That it is a message I need to deliver to Pastors. I am in contact with them on a daily basis. Often pastors talk about the grief of others and they may even encourage people in their grief but perhaps they are hardest on themselves. Too often they do not give themselves permission to grieve disappointments or loss in their lives.

We read all throughout Scripture of the importance of going to the Lord in prayer as well as how important it is to have someone close with whom to share your honest and transparent hardships and heartaches. Psalms 34:18 reads; “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

Perhaps it’s the profession of the Clergy (which is a vocational Calling) and maybe even the fact that it is predominantly a male dominated profession (though I don’t believe this is limited to only men) but all of us must come to a place when we need to ask for help in a safe space; sharing about those most intimate concerns that weigh heavy upon clergy.

What is it today that weighs heaviest on you? Who do you have that you can trust to share your most difficult and heartbreaking concerns? Have you given yourself permission to grieve?

The following are a few verses you may want to consider as you think about this particular topic while at the same time giving yourself permission to grieve.

Ready For (The Right) Action.

Ready? Set? WAIT! Sound like something you have heard before? Does this sound typical? Most of our lives are lived in a “hurry up, wait” mode. We rush to get ahead only to be stopped or slowed by unexpected detours and road blocks.

I traveled over 50,000 miles last year on behalf of my ministry. I have sighed and zagged across Indiana to meet expectations and goals, appointments and gatherings. I know all-to-well the unexpected detours. I have driven around road blocks and encountered detours that have set my travel plans and schedule back. I usually know to buffer my travel itinerary in such cases that I may find my way closed ahead. 

Isn’t it frustrating? We often feel that any road construction a waste of time. You have been there too?

The Word of God brings clarity in your Calling and role. In Christ there is light that brings vision but darkness breeds confusion and fear! 

I am reminded of the many times I have prayed only to have delays or a change of plans sign redirecting MY route. I can write a book on all the times that I sought God in pray only to TELL HIM what I want. I have learned that I need to really seek His Will for my life, which begins by listening and learning. 

It is often so true that my ways are not His Ways. I am reminded that until I align my plans with God’s plans that I come up short. 

Waiting is a key strategy in knowing what God has in-store for our lives. Psalms 130:5-6 reminds us; “I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in His word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning.” (ESV)

To often, we waste the detours and delays in our lives. Too often we rush past what we need to know before we move forward. Too often, we drop out of life (parking along the road) because of the uncertainty of obstacles.

Taking the right action requires taking time to see the detours, road-blocks, and dead-ends as opportunities. Recently I was able to see the NEOWISE COMET (pictured on July 13, 2020). This is a reminder for me. In the midst of darkness, the clarity of seeing the Comet reminds me to look for clarity that can inspire you. For me, this is Jesus and my faith in Christ. Like a shining light, though rarely seen, provides a focus point! 

You can take time right now to make a list of the times you feel like obstacles are setting you back. As you make the list, list what your options and choices are. From this second list, how will you next choice bring clarity to your purpose for living.