I don’t know what’s happening to me. As I get older, I seem to be more reflective than in my former years. Usually I am trying to advance the cause and plan ahead and set goals as high as I could but lately, things are changing. Even everybody that I know is beginning to notice. My kids are asking what’s wrong with me My wife is even noticing because I’m beginning to be sucked into the Hallmark channel. I am seemingly becoming contemplative.
I’ve been told that as you grow older, things begin to change. I certainly have noticed that my back hurts a little more and it takes me a little longer to accomplish simple task. It’s not that I’m necessarily be coming nicer, it’s the fact that I’m changing.
I’ve even begin to notice some of those changes. My dad jokes are becoming more frequent in my awkward statements to strangers as well. Probably most are Dismissive of my behavior because after all, I’m over 55, double nickels. No one would dare ask for my ID because it’s pretty obvious that I qualify for the senior discount.
I’ve heard of midlife crisis but I certainly have not bought a sports car. I have also heard rumors that as your age you begin to have few were friends. That hasn’t happened either, at least that I’ve noticed. I have become more resolute in my political opinions, and even more vocal. I also heard that that happens as well but I thought that being stubborn was a good quality.
Advent is all about anticipation in the future. December might wind down the year but it certainly amps up the anticipation of a new year. I think just about everyone is grateful to be done with 2020. Nevertheless, I seem to become more interested in the past these days.
The lighting of the candle on the advent wreath or the turning of a calendar causes me to look back rather than a head more often than I care to admit.
Is that perhaps the way the disciples felt during that last supper with Jesus when he said he was going away? John 14 records the perspective of the disciples in that moment when, all of a sudden things were going to change. Jesus reminded them that he would not leave them as orphans but that he was coming again. But my guess is that the disciples were more concerned about today rather than tomorrow. In fact, they reflected on yesterday in those final moments with Jesus.
I guess I’m not all that unusual to be reflective. Perhaps it’s not an age thing at all but, a season. As we enter into the holiday season, advent been a significant spiritual experience, let us take time to reflect before we jump into a new year. This year, as I like the advent candle and turn the page on the calendar, while I anticipate Christ return I also reflect on my own experience in life.
Regrets? Not for me, at least yet. It is more about the joy of the wonderful work that God has done on my behalf through his great love and grace. Nothing that I’ve done at all. Perhaps I become reflective of the tremendous blessings that I’ve experienced in life. Friendships gained. Faith experienced. Fond memories. To those whom I have known that have contributed to my life, I am grateful.
Advent for me is was about the blessings that I experience and through my faith, I can rejoice!