Aged to Perfection - Tribute to Merle at 111 & 1/2 Years Young.

The following was written a few months back, with a few updates. This is a tribute to Merle who passed away today at 111 & 1/2 years young. 

Let me tell you a story. I first met Merle over twenty years ago when I was serving as a pastor in her church just outside of Chicago, Illinois. Merle is an unassuming, quiet, and very respectful individual. She is soft spoken and yet hard-working, who possesses a can-do attitude. Merle is not quite 4 1/2 feet tall and you hardly would notice her if she entered a room except for her loving qualities.

When you first meet her, you could not know the impact that she would have on you and other people. You are drawn to her because of her kind and approachable manner. You may not immediately know of her incredible influence on others but, as you get to know her, you discover how she makes a difference. You always feel better being with her.

One of first times I stopped at her home was in the winter, just after a fresh snowfall - and you must know that she was pushing 90 years old at that time. I discovered that she was shoveling her driveway by herself by hand. She wasn’t moving very fast but she was clearing a path. I jumped in quickly to give her a hand only to have her say, "I can do this, don’t you bother."

Stories are told that were legends in the annals of folklore, yet I assure you that she’s every bit the reality of those supposed fables.

I heard that she went to college – when few women did.

I heard that she ran her own business and even rented rooms - when few widows would dare do.

I heard that she would walk up and down the streets of her town selling books that she authored.

I once was the witness of her strength when she was confronted by a large man on her front porch. He clearly had the advantage and I even attempted to step in to rescue her but not before she threw the man off her porch; she physically, throw the man of her porch. I stepped out of her house and attempted to shield her from the man’s retaliate but to my surprise, all I could say to the man was, "It’s a good thing I’m here because SHE might’ve really hurt YOU."

Merle had seen a lot in her lifetime. She had a difficult home life growing up in Iowa; seeing two world wars, the great depression, and the invention of nearly everything. She has committed herself to influence the world through grace, charm, and a determination to serve Jesus.

I say all that because in order to understand leadership influence, you must fully understand that in her own way, she appeared defenseless and unable to make a difference yet she influenced everyone she met! 

She never really possessed a title or had the kind of promotion that would cause you to rank her a success in business or the kind of wealth that would cause people to turn their heads toward her. Yet, she carries an influence far beyond most even today.

If you think that you cannot be a leader without a title or status or certain lofty friends, you’re mistaken because Merle is that example.

Picture: Ministry from IWU visited with Merle to sing and pray with her.

Even at 111 years young, who, by the way is the oldest church member of the Wesleyan Church, in her passing she will be remembered as a gentle giant in faith and influence.

At her birthday celebrating her 110 year, (last year) there were many who gathered to give honor to her. There were Cousins. Friends. Coworkers. Also dignitaries like Mayors and other political representatives.

There were reports that were filed with news affiliates out of Chicago and newspapers who wrote articles about her. Each of them expressing a very special meaning to their interaction with Merle. See Chicago News Story.

Leadership is having influence like Merle; who doesn’t need to be loud or bossy or threatening or coercive and mean. It’s not a title or a special rank but it someone who gives what they have to help another. As I think about leadership I would encourage you to be thinking about Merle and you will likely be challenged by her can-do attitude.

As I reflect on Merle’s passing at 111 years young, I reflect on attending last year’s birthday, and when we finish singing happy birthday you could hear Merle in her soft very quiet demeanor call out to everyone, "I’ll see you next year". 

I want to wrap up our discussion and tell you something very special about Merle that I think should the challenge all of us. I mentioned that Merle has seen a lot in her 111 years of living. I told you that she is not known for her career. I told you that she is not known just for having the a boarding house in the city just outside of Chicago. She’s not known just for working almost every day into her 90s. She’s known because of the influence that she has on those that she has met. Interesting fact that she challenge all of us is that Merle is known as an author. 

She has offered articles and has written stories to her credit but what is what’s most interesting to me is that even after living a life time, well past the time that most of us will retire and would sit back to enjoy their remaining years. Not Merle. She begin to author her first book when she was in her 70’s. So, when you think you cannot accomplish something or make a difference in a persons life and be a leader with influence, I want you to think of Merle who has just finished her 12th book! 

A local television affiliate out of Chicago decided to do a news report and videotaped interview. At the end of the video the reporter asked her, "Merle, what’s the secret to long life?" after a pause Merle spoke up and said, "Keep breathing!"

See also a story about her 111th birthday: See celebration of 111th birthday.

View Celebration of Life-Funeral

Cold Calls - Making Them Warm Leads.

If you’ve ever been in sales or been part of a church group that has been involved in outreach, you may understand the phrase, cold calls. It refers to the initial meeting where the relationship is not previously known. In sales you may receive a list of people that you are to call and try to convince them to take a step toward your direction without the opportunity of developing a deeper relationship. 

For years I have been involved in making cold calls. When I was a paper carrier I would often stop at a home where the newspaper was not delivered to ask if they would like to subscribe to my paper route. I can recall these awkward moments at age 15. I usually brought a few extra papers with me so that I would offer them a free copy in hopes that the delivery service made it more convenient for them and the quality of news would entice them into being added to my route. When I was really young, around age 8 or so, my dad would pick children up to take to Sunday School on the church bus. Every Friday and Saturday I can recall going door-to-door to invite people, especially children and usually my friends, to go to church with me on the bus route. After adding them to the list of prospective attendees, my dad would have us call them on Saturday night to remind them to be ready for Sunday School the next day.

All throughout my childhood and even into my adult life I can recall many wonderful occasions of making cold calls. Door-to-door evangelism, or even selling a few magazine subscriptions would force me to overcome my fears. After a while you learn how to ignore your friends who would stand at a distance while you made those door-to-door calls. Or I would ignore the dog who wanted to have me for lunch. I don’t even remember how many tetanus shots I actually received after being bitten by dogs.

When I was a pastor I actually would enjoy going door-to-door to make an introduction about my ministry. There were some who simply never answered the door and they were others who curiously answered but weren’t necessarily nice about it. I met all kinds of people when I would go door-to-door and Now I have stories to tell my grandkids. Like the one time I was with my brother Jim when we went door-to-door and Lapel, Indiana. He pastored a small church but made every effort to invite the community to attend. I knocked on the door several times but Then I noticed that there was obviously an argument going on in the back room. At first it was faint but eventually I heard a few louder voices and even something that made a crash. I was standing there and didn’t know what to do next. I turned around only to notice the pick up truck that displayed a shotgun hanging from a rack. I often wondered if I did the right thing all these years later when I simply walked away and told my brother my experience. He told me that I should not worry but that he would take care of the matter later. I believe he said that to alleviate my guilt and the concern I had for that situation.

Going door-to-door making cold calls it’s something I believe everyone should try at least once in their lifetime. It causes you to think on your feet and certainly increases your faith. I have encountered people of every religion and of no religion at all. I have met very nice people and I have met people that I felt wanted to throw me off their porch, literally. I learn to roll with each and every encounter because, after all there’s a house next-door that you are needing to go to.

No matter the treatment no matter the experience you have to shake it off and move onto the next house. Sometimes you win sometimes you lose and then there are those other times that you don’t even have a category for what you’ve experienced.

In Luke 10 we find that Jesus sends out a group of his disciples by pairing them up and they literally go house to house to share about Jesus. He tells them to take nothing with them and he encourages them to be not only a blessing but to do miracles with anyone in need that they encounter. I think of all the dangers that the disciples went through, not at all unfamiliar with my experiences in my day.

I have knocked on thousands of doors and I have met many during my 31 years of ministry and my 53 years of life. I have done this in every community where I have lived. Even today, in my profession I am still knocking on doors with people I am unfamiliar with.

I have learned many lessons, in particular I have learned three main lessons on how to be successful when making cold calls. Perhaps this could be applied to nearly every profession but when it comes to evangelism, you could make the best application to these lessons learned.

1. Never give up no matter what they tell you.

I have been told many times things that would cause anyone to want to give up. I have been yelled at and I have been told to get off their porch. Don’t let someone who has given up on their dream talk you out of yours.

It’s never easy to remain positive when you are often discouraged. I have discovered in my long line of door knocking that if someone’s in a bad mood it has little to do with you so never take it personally. I don’t believe you can never lose when you talk about hopes and dreams.

People are very quick to in the conversation and they don’t always have proper etiquette in doing so. If you remain polite and considerate you will leave a lasting impression but if you’re treated poorly, just move on.

Jesus knew that they would not be excepted by everyone and so he simply used a metaphor that was common among the people that day. He said simply stomp the dust off your feet and move on to the next home. He essentially was saying that you should not carry any of the negative or hostile actions of that household with you when you go to the next home or meet the next person. Too often we are offended and we carry that feeling into the next conversation which in all honesty, it’s not fair to the next person we encounter.

2. Always ask questions.

Too often I have assumed that people wanted to hear what I had to say and that I would just simply plow ahead on my conversation. In recent years I’ve learned to ask strategic questions that would engage in conversation. I made every attempt to identify the opportunity by stating my objective clearly and then asking sincere questions.

I would often be well received when I would ask questions that started with how or why. There are many questions that start with those two words such as; How are you doing? Why do you believe that is true? When you lead the conversation, not control it you are more effective.

Most people see themselves as experts and if you remain positive and Humble you will generally learn a great deal about a stranger. Somehow your humility gains the advantage and people begin to trust you but if you think you know it all and you’re there to tell them they would generally be eager to see you leave.

I think Jesus understood that when he told his disciples to go and be a blessing into eat whatever is placed in front of them. The fact that the disciples were humble provided the advantage of building a trusting the conversation and relationship. Even without the newspaper and television the word about Jesus was spreading and many were curious and eager to learn about him.

3. Be willing to put their needs ahead of your own.

Sometimes we are one-sided about what we have to sell that we forget to listen and learn. What I’ve discovered is that people are curious and people are lonely. Usually these are the two areas that open for the dialogue. If people were curious it’s likely they would never open the door anyway. Have also noted that there are many who just love to talk to anyone. There’s a lot of loneliness behind closed doors.

One of the best lessons that I’ve ever learned is that almost everyone is polite when you invite them to pray. In most recent years I’ve discovered that when I go door-to-door and invite people to pray they are usually suspicious but polite. I often would say something like, "We are doing a prayer survey and wondered what your needs are or of your neighbor that our church could pray for." It was always amazing to me how many of them shared very personal details with me, stranger. Even doors marked "no soliciting" we’re very open to prayer.

Jesus encouraged his disciples to perform miracles and most especially to tell everyone that, "the kingdom of God has come near to you today." This phrase was a clear recognition about the power of God and his message. The work that they were doing was of the upmost importance and because the fields were white and harvest all they really had to do was be faithful to deliver His message.

Making cold calls may not be the most effective use of your time but it sure beats doing nothing. If you’ve prayed about it and you know that what you were doing is sincerely a good thing then you will succeed. You will encounter enough people to make it worth the time you spend with people. 

Someone once said that it’s more about the volume of calls than it is about the depth of the conversation. In sales, it has more to do with the amount of people you talk with or promote too, vulium matters. So it’s been said, but I don’t always agree with clichés. It may be true that the more people you talk to the more successful conversation you’ll have but what is more true is that if you are sincere and courageous, with gods help you can accomplish far more because he is with you.

We never read in Scripture about how effective it was for Jesus to send out the seventy-two disciples but I have to believe that Jesus would not have sent them out in vain. I have to think that he knew it would be effective. He indicated that the fields were ripe onto harvest which tells me that whatever seed you planted in the heart of people that God will give the increase. I believe God when He says that His word never returns void. It’s important that we water their thirst without watering down the truth of the gospel. They may not like the truth but they were respect you and your courage.

There are many forms of witnessing through acts of kindness as well as proclamation evangelism. Each form, and it’s on context is effective. I recommend both because there are a lot of nice people who do good things that do not know Jesus. Just because we are generous and we have wealth doesn’t mean that God will be glorified through our actions. It’s only what’s done for God that will truly last anyways.

We can bring cold call relationships into warm connections. If we are authentic and caring we can be a positive influence. We can turn cold calls into warm leads. Most people do respond in positive ways if we are invested in developing relationships that demonstrate kindness and friendliness.

Consider the following on how to be a positive witness. Do and Don't of Witnessing.

Hospitality and God’s Kingdom

Isaiah 58:10 -- Feed the hungry, and help those in trouble.Then your light will shine out from the darkness, and the darkness around you will be as bright as noon.

It’s really quite simple, if you feed the hungry, and do it in the name of Jesus, you are touching the Kingdom of God. In doing simple acts of kindness you are able to let your light shine and bring glory to God. It is been said that we are His hands and His feet, perhaps we are the only reflection of Jesus that someone will ever see.

I remember on several occasions when the Lord laid on my heart to entertain a stranger. There were times when I would pick them up when they were hitchhiking and there were times, to my wife’s surprise, that I would bring them home for a meal. Today, it’s not all that wise to do these sort of acts but there are ways, quite simple ways, that we can provide hospitality to strangers. 

The very act of hospitality is indeed a biblical expression and it is a demonstration of the very attribute of God. We see this demonstrated throughout the Scriptures as God’s people helping others. The act of sharing as a community or giving to others is a form of this. In Acts the breaking of bread and the distribution of food is also part of this. Later in Acts we find that there were godly people who were chosen to provide food for the widows in the early church.

hos-pi-tal'-i-ti, host (philoxenia, "love of strangers," xenos, "guest," "friend"; pandocheus, "innkeeper")

- Bible Study Tools

In modern days, hospitality is often a word that brings anxiety and stress. We think those times when we are having guest in our home, we worry about cleaning the house and bringing out the finest dishes. At the very core hospitality is simple. In our modern day and age when we want to impress our neighbors and friends, we want everything to be perfect. 

You may feel like those in this video that was published by Mainstay Ministries during their 50 Day Spiritual Adventure series. Picture yourself attending Entertainers Anonymous support group. View video here.

In biblical terms, this isn’t the case. Especially when we think about the needs of our most vulnerable, the poor, the oppressed, and children; hospitality means something very different.

In Luke 10 we find the instructions that Jesus gave to his disciples as they went out to announce the good news of Jesus. They were instructed to carry very little with them and depend upon the very hospitality of people, strangers in fact. Jesus said to them that wherever they go they are to announce this good news. They were told to welcome and eat whatever is put before them and to say, "the Kingdom of God has come near to you today."

In theory that is a good idea but in practice it’s not so easy. I remember being invited to come to her home after church one Sunday, this was years ago in my local church ministry. The family that invited us was not known for cleanliness, in fact we were quite concerned when we receive the invite. I told my wife that this is an opportunity to care and bring dignity to a family that was not wealthy. The day came when we were received in their home. The kitchen was a mess, there was a stench of older that lingered from the trash, the table was a mix matched set of plates and utensils and the food was, we thought, creative. There were hot dishes on the menu and there were cold dishes that were presented for the meal. The food didn’t taste bad but the ambience wasn’t exactly up to par. They had indoor animals that seem to take charge of the dining room. 

I thought of how difficult it could’ve been for even his disciples when they were to eat whatever was put before them and to share the good news with whomever welcomed them in their home. The picture became very clear to me that it wasn’t about the disciples and it wasn’t about us either. It was about the message of the good news. I assure you that we did not get sick and our worst fears were an exaggeration of our imagination. It was a blessing to be in the home of that family and they truly wanted to know more about Jesus. That day taught me many lessons in my ministry and there were many homes like this that I entered with a bit of trepidation but God always provided.

Allow me too set context to the meaning of what I’m writing about today. I’m a firm believer in capitalism. I’m not one who is convinced that socialism provides the best solution. Whenever capitalism is paired with compassion there is the opportunity to be benevolent with the resources we have. We are stewards in fact. Socialism, while it may seem to be biblical (Many to Acts 2 as an example) the truth is that we can be selfish whether we have little or plenty. I believe that when we are hospitable toward others, we consider their needs before her own and we serve to represent Christ by our actions. Models of socialism means that resources are taken not given. Most of those models do not work and have proven to minimize the work ethic and distort and dehumanize people. Often people are exploited.

Of course there are problems with capitalism because of materialism and greed but if we see our role, as God does, we are stewards of resources and we are as generous as we are compassionate. 

Hospitality, as defined in biblical terms is a simple way to communicate the good news of Jesus Christ by acts of kindness. Historically Christians have been generous and compassionate, even forming hospitals, and housing for the homeless. Reforms to the prison system have been developed by Christians and even Probation as an alternative for juveniles or adults who commit crimes is a Christian model. When we think about social service we quickly think of the compassion of Mother Teresa and the Minitries of the Catholic Church, community food banks are often managed by Christians. Whenever there are natural disasters most international aid comes from private donations of Christians and the church.

To practice hospitality is a way to share the gospel of Jesus Christ. Whether it’s in your home or the organizer of a community dinner, the practice of hospitality is an expression from the heart of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Do you want to make a difference? Begin to practice biblical hospitality. Begin with those whom you know but remember those who are strangers to you as well. Keep it simple and be genuine, everything else is just extra. Remember to genuinely love in Christ will be seen in you and through you. God will bless and you will light up the night as noon!