My Rejection Therapy With a Purpose List!

Recently I heard an inspiring message given by Jia Jiang who spoke at the Global Leadership Summit on rejection. His powerful and funny message is so very helpful. Watch his Ted Talk. His talk challenged his listeners to take a dare to be rejected. In doing this we can learn to cope with rejection. I am impressed and inspired so I am creating a few of my own. I call my list, "couragiosity". It is both courageous and curious. 

Over the years I have taken risks and plugged into the unknown. In ministry and for the sake of others, I have attempted to overcome my fears and reach many who are have been forgotten in society. Though, I am not the most courageous person, I have made efforts to do the unusual. I have been known to do challenging things, almost like taking a dare. I am not talking about doing dangerous stunts, nevertheless I found myself in unusual places. Taking risks can be purposeful, if you dare to care about other's needs.

Let me share a few daring efforts I have done over the years. You might call these items "Rejection Therapy with a purpose!"

1. Going to jail and prisons. I’ve come to enjoy the ministry of going beyond prison bars to reach people who are often forgotten.

2. Eating a meal with inmates prepared over prison cell toilet. Others thought I was crazy when I sat down to share a meal at the Chowchilla Correctional facility in California. When I said down with a group of ladies who were sharing their commissary meal together, I decided to join them. While I was eating they told me how the meal was made by gathering together different items and cooking it over an open toilet in their prison cell.

3. Walking into a home of drug dealers. I was used to going into the inner-city to mentor at risk youth. On one such occasion I walked into the house only to be met by quite a few gang members who are sorting out drugs and guns. We scared each other! After I explained that I was a pastor they escorted me to the right home of the at risk youth that I was wanting to meet up with.

4. Having a gun drawn on me. The story will take more time than necessary but let me just simply summarize to say that when you decide to confront somebody for the wrong doing you just never know what could happen. After talking to man out of shooting me I was able to pray with him. Let’s just say that my wife was not too happy when I told her the details.

5. Being a CASA. Thousands of people are court appointed special advocates in the court systems for at-risk children. I’m not that unusual to have been involved in looking out for the needs of children in the court room. I’m on my friends however, very few have participated.

6. Being a foster care parent. Each and every day there are incredible needs of children and youth being placed in Foster Care. While there are risks, There are great rewards. We did foster care for eight years for at-risk youth.

7. Serving the homeless. Connecting one on one with homelessness is something that many people avoid. Over the years I have come to enjoy meeting the needs of such people. You could imagine that many are intimidated by the overwhelming needs.

8. Picking up hitch-hikers. There were many times that I saw this as an opportunity to engage in the relationships of those I provide transportation for. My wife wasn’t always thrilled that I was giving rides to complete strangers and especially having my young children in the car with me. Sometimes taking a risk is rewarding when you think about meeting the needs of others.

9. Ringing the Salvation Army Red Kettle Bell. It really doesn’t sound that difficult yet there are so many who are intimidated by this simple act. You come across a lot of strangers and you gee strange looks yet this is such a worthy cause be involved in.

10. Praying aloud publicly with strangers. Perhaps it’s because I like people that I find it easier than most to chat with complete strangers. Many struggle to develop conversations with them. I’d like to take it one step further and offered to pray for people, even if they are complete strangers. It takes a little bit more boldness to do this but it’s well worth it.

It’s interesting to note that the more times that I practice these habits how much easier it is to do them in the future. The first few times I can recall how uncomfortable I felt but over time I found strategies that made it easier.

Here is my new list of the top 10 risks I plan to take in the coming months. You can call these  "Rejection Therapy with a purpose." Or, as I have already said, "couragiosity".

1. Asking a pilot if I can fly their airplane! Besides being afraid of heights and only flown in a small plane one other time, this makes me very nervous. I have flown commercial on large jets with ease. Little pints make me sick. Having the courage to ask a seasoned pilot if I could fly his plane makes me really nervous.

2. Choose to stay the night at a local homeless shelter. Sleeping in the barracks-style dorm with homeless people will take a great deal of courage.

3. Take the challenge from DareMe.com. I can’t wait to take a look at some of the incredible opportunities before me, I dare myself to take a leap

4. Hold up a cardboard sign on the street corner reading, "Give $1 for the homeless!" We’ve all seen them standing outside of the grocery stores in on street corners holding up signs. I wonder what this will feel like!

5. Ask a farmer if I could drive his combine tractor. Driving large farm equipment is very intimidating. Equally intimidating is asking the farmer that you don’t really know if you can drive his farm equipment.

6. Going to my local Dunkin’ Donuts and asking for a free dozen of donuts so that could give them away to patrons in the store. I’m pretty sure they’re asking for donuts will be easy but giving them away to complete strangers may be a little weird.

7. Knocking on several neighborhood doors of complete strangers asking if I could display a yard sign in their yard about foster care.

8. Post on Facebook & other social media asking if people would be willing to ....

9. Ask a police official if they would lock me up in a jail cell for one night.

10. Asking people during church service to write down three items they dare me to do and then do as many as I can - legally!

Taking a dare can be challenging. It stretches your comfort zones and deepens your experiences. I am not always willing to take on new challenges but as I do I find that it gets easier. As I take on the "Rejection Therapy" challenge I want to do it with purpose. The growth I experience will hopefully be a positive experience in others.

6° of Separation: Making The Most Important Connection!

We’ve all heard the theory about 6° of separation. Invented in 1929, the commonly known concept says that we are six or fewer connections away from meeting key relationships. Check out this history here. Even  more impressive is the popular game called, "6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon."

Today, I want to focus this blog entry on the concept of 6° of separation but with a bit of a twist. From a spiritual standpoint, there is something to be gained as we consider how we can connect with the greatest of relationships, God the Creator of the universe. Of course, this relationship is simple. It is through prayer, but, there’s more to it than just the religious action of folding our hands and closing our eyes.

Follow along with me on a journey to a personal connection that we all can experience through 6° of separation. In truth, we may want to even say 6° to making an incredible connection with the incredible God!

I’m a connector. One of the traits that I’m known for is networking and making connections with others. I enjoy building relationships with new people and even more, having the opportunity to deepen those relationships in a significant way. I like to think that I have a desire to bring something into the relationship, not just take something away.

In the work that I do now, I am continually reaching out to pastors and ministry leaders for the sake of connecting foster children with loving homes. At times, I have the opportunity to take the relationship deeper as children and youth are fostered and adopted into loving homes. Perhaps in the same way, we too can become adopted into a loving eternal family, God’s family.

How does that happen? How is it that we can become a part of the incredible inheritance that God has for us?

Romans 8:17
And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering.

The Bible talks about adoption through so many examples in the Old Testament and a significant theological understanding throughout the New Testament. It’s impossible to fully understand this until we have recognized that we are abandoned and that God, through his infinite love, has brought us into his family.

Romans 8:15 reads; So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, "Abba, Father."

Let’s take a journey as I share with you the 6° of separation; principally speaking, those things which bring your connection with God closer!


1° For All Have Sinned.

Something happened and it wasn’t our fault. It happened long before you and I entered the world as we know it today. It was a decision that was made by those who God created in which we are now descendants of many generations later.

You may think to yourself that it’s not fair but the effects of sin are all around us nevertheless. The decision of one couple, Adam and Eve who sharing in the blame of a terrible decision to disobey the perfect order God had established for them in a wonderful garden.

Before you become self-righteous we should realize that we likely would have made a similar decision. The choice was before them which impacted countless generations leading up to our very own. The world is now broken and there is brokenness in every aspect of this world including the family.

Romans 3:23
For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.

It’s a realization that we must accept. In fact, it is our current reality. Just look around or read any newspaper headline and it’s unavoidable. Soon this generation. This world is broken. It’s not even God‘s fault because the decision was made that broke his plan and also his heart.


2° I Sin.

You’re just like me. We compare ourselves  with others to find a way to justify who we are. We may even say that we’re not as bad as someone else. We compare ourselves to those that have murdered or those who are purely evil and say that we are better than "those kind of people."

That maybe true that we do things better, but it doesn’t, by any means, make us righteous. We too sin. Each and every day we may find ourselves tempted in-which results in sinful actions in thought or in deed.

Romans 6:23
For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus   our Lord.

As we personalize this theology, we look at ourselves in the mirror and recognize the sin in our lives. If we humble ourselves and recognize this it will bring us one step closer to the relationship and connection we long for.


3° The Gift of God.
A cruel creator would’ve left us in this state of disconnection and chaos. We would’ve been abandoned. Yet, God our Creator did not. He worked at developing a way to restore this relationship. He came up with a plan B.

Romans 5:8
But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.

Throughout the old testament he called out to average people to communicate His message of love and restoration. He chose leaders and prophets and kings in order to get His message across. He created a system of sacrifice through the priest in order to pay for their transgressions. He went so far as to send His only begotten son to pay the price for our sin.
We all like to receive gifts but it is ironic that so many of us try to take care of this sin problem ourselves. The gift that God offers can take care of the sin problem as well as the sins we commit. The journey doesn’t end here.

4° Confess.
Along with humility is an action we need to take that I call submission. We need to be submissive to the point of confession. We need to recognize the importance of confession. By confessing that we are born into sin and that we also practice sin, we then start the process of reconciliation. We have a need we cannot solve by ourselves.
We need to begin by recognizing that we have needs, and that gets us to the place of knowing that the solution is beyond ourselves.

Ephesians 2:8-9
God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a  gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.

Consider the following. You are in a relationship with someone who loves you, and you love them. If you do something to offend them, you will not hesitate to confess your offense with a simple phrase, "I am sorry." We do this because we value the relationship. We don’t want something to get in the way of our connection. Similarly, we don’t mean to create a separation in relationships. We try to build the connection because we know that building connections are key to all relationships.


5° Receive.
I love birthdays and Christmas. It doesn’t have to be my special day; I enjoy watching the excitement others experience when they open an unexpected gift. Recently my daughter graduated from college. She attended Indiana Wesleyan University. On graduation, she brought a gift for the President, Dr. David Wright. It was a graduation that occurred on graduation day! Watch how the President responded here.

Romans 10:9
If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

Gifts are personal and unique. They are given with an expectation of any return on receiving a gift. I enjoy being involved in foster care and adoption. It is like receiving a gift when children feel connected. Even more when they are adopted!

The message of salvation in Christ (being connected to God in grace) is about being adopted. We receive His gift of love and belonging. As we understand that we are orphans or as we are fatherless, we realize that belonging to Him is a gift! If we receive His love, we are receiving a gift of eternal life.


6° Rejoice in Telling Others!
How would you respond if you won a contest? What if you accomplished a significant challenge like a marathon race? What if you won $1 million through the Publisher’s Clearinghouse? You would tell someone, wouldn’t you? You would post this on Facebook or Instagram. You want everyone to know.
In this journey of 6-degrees you come to a place when this new-found faith be one personal and real. It is so exciting to us to know that we are adopted; we belong.

Matthew 28:18-20
Jesus came and told his disciples, "I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth.  Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the  Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age."

As we discover belonging to God’s Kingdom, we naturally tell others. As we find this new family, we call the family of God; we tell others. Our joy in this connection causes us to let others know.
I am always finding ways to to share my faith! You could say that because of what I realize God has done in my life I want others also to have the realization of this profound difference he can make in their lives as well.

Each of these may be considered steps toward a personal relationship with God, the creator. As we develop further our relationship in faith, I am reminded of Philippians 1:11. It’s a verse that reminds me that there is fruit from my relationship with him. We call this salvation.

Philippians 1:11 -- May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation--the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ--for this will bring much glory and praise to God.