Thursday, August 09, 2018

Compete or Collaborate - Why Both Aren’t Possible.

Healthy competition isn’t bad. In a society where people believe everyone is a winner, the fact remains, there are those that finish somewhere after first place. There really aren’t healthy ways to reward everyone for simply showing up. Once you reduce winning to simply a participation award, you miss the reason for personal growth; we miss the reason why we need to further develope our skills.

To compete or collaborate is an either-or proposition not both-and  To compete is to challenge personal growth. Healthy competition moves those from the back of the pack to the front of the pack, or at least stretch their abilities beyond their expectations. After all, usually we compete because of an inner discipline and dream to accomplish more and reach beyond ourselves than what we thought we could.


What if what you are competing against is actually from the very group you should collaborate with? To collaborate is to be more effective and to reduce the duplication of services. Organizations that compete usually are defined by a market that they are trying to win but in the areas of social service, we are fixing an injustice or helping those less fortunate in our community. Those who collaborate are attempting to change the outcome of a social injustice. At least that’s what I’ve learned over the years of serving in  community organizations.

I spent most of my career, one way or another, in the ministry of the local church but often, along the way I found myself as a community organizer and fully engaged in the neighborhood where I lived. I was trained to be a pastor but the occupational hazard meant that I was also a social worker, a probation officer, a person who cried out when injustice occurred, and someone who was close to those in crisis. Every community I ever lived in I built for myself a directory of sorts, a list of services and organizations that I can direct people to whatever they needed help with. I was never the expert but as I often told people, I was one begger showing another begger where to find bread.

When I was a court appointed special advocate, guardian ad litem and when I was a probation officer, I discovered that I needed help to solve the many crises that people faced. I would write down the names and numbers of people and professionals who could help with whatever they were dealing with from early pregnancy, social services, food pantries, counseling services, and others who I felt could lend a hand when the needs were beyond my own reach. I served on committees and boards where we talked about how we could work together instead of competing because we all shared a common set of values and a community interest to help others. We strove to better our community. I found a spirit of cooperation, mostly. 

Of course, there were those who wanted to do go it alone; striving on their own. There were those who didn’t quite understand that we needed each other. On occasion, we would find that there were organizations that simply did not know who others were but were simply lending a helping hand. One of those examples was when I served as Director of Love INC, an organization we called "Love Clearinghouse". With over 90 partnering churches we found that each one brought their skills together to form a network of cooperative and collaborative ministries. We discovered that together we actually provided more services and expertise. Some churches provide food pantries. However, if multiple churches did the same thing, families weren’t getting the holistic help they needed but they were simply getting more cans of soup. Our goal was to minimize the number of duplicated services so that services could meet more needs; all services were provided by the community of faith which gave a collective witness of God’s love. We also offered a centralized management of resources where we could steward the benevolence of the church and even verify the needs we served. When agencies and organizations of similar values begin to compete with each other, it causes confusion at minimum. It caused unhealthy dynamics of mid-trust at its worst.

I now serve an organization that recruits foster homes. With over 20,000 children in out-of-home placement in Indiana, there’s plenty of need to go around. Is there a shortage of homes that would cause us to want to compete? I can understand that there are several organizations recruiting foster homes. Each may have certain distinctives in the way they raise money and how they administrate services but their objectives may be the same. It’s always encouraging to see the spirit of cooperation because, quite frankly, as many organizations that are out there recruiting foster homes, the need is beyond all of us. Are we in competition or is the shared value of a social injustice or community need to help vulnerable children and youth the real competition? Should we not join forces to compete against those forces rather than one another?


One day I went out into the community to meet with one of our partnering churches and came upon this startling reality. One agency, who does the very same thing we do decide to place their yard sign directly in front of ours. Not next to it or along the same block so that both are visible but right in front of the sign we had already placed in the lawn. This was one of our active partnering churches. It was simple fix. All I had to do was move my sign over three feet so that both could share the space and enjoy equal promotion. I thought to myself, why not give people a choice? Seems simple enough to me but then I saw it again, and again. It made me question, why are we fighting for space in a shared ministry opportunity. 

I shouldn’t be surprised because I’ve seen this sort of thing before. I’ve seen it when churches who compete for people to attend. While we both believe that people should be in church we tend to find ourselves competing. Instead of talking about the distinctives that make us unique or the "services" we offer, we find ourselves competing with those of similar values.

I do believe that healthy competition  raises the standards for everyone but when we compete against shared values or objectives, than we may be doing more than just competing; we may in fact, be missing the point all together. We may be spending vital resources fighting against the very core of what we believe.

I’m certain, like I’ve never been before, that each one of us fit into the grander scheme of all things. Each one brings their own talents and strengths, yet together we are able to accomplish more than we ever could alone.


There’s so much that divides us today. I love healthy debate and even conflict because it can help bring a greater understanding of our full potential. Civil debate is necessary if we are to grow. My friend said this remarkable thing to me once regarding politics. 

We need to put more effort into winning the human race instead of the political race. - Maureen

Society is only able to sustain itself  because of reciprocity; the exchange of positive values. Healthy values equal a healthy society. 

For Christians and other communities of faith who believe in the biblical value of the golden rule; do unto others as you would have them do unto you, we practice according to the rules of, "do no wrong." We believe that no matter what is reciprocated we should be willing to love and demonstrate respect to anyone, just as we would want for ourselves.


I contend therefore that in social service organizations we cannot have both competition and collaboration. They cannot co-exist. We have to decide which value we should embrace.

As my sons have often reminded me that in Track & Field events, they did not compete against their fellow team-mates nor against the opponents of a tournament meet. They would say, "We strive to better ourselves and in doing this, we better everyone else."


Wednesday, August 08, 2018

Ever Wonder Why?

Kids grow up way too fast. One of my favorite times in there very young life is when they question everything. Telling children to eat their green beans is usually followed by the question, why? It seems as if everything that you give instructions for to three-year-olds is followed by that question, why? Most of our answers are pretty easy but then there are some of those questions that we have to just say, "Because I say so."

Even as adults we have many questions. I’ve always wondered why Noah didn’t swap those two mosquitoes when they boarded the ark? There are many things in life that we have to ask the serious side of that question; why do bad things happen? When we see the injustice done to children it causes us to question why.


We are reminded often that God understands our grieves in our sorrows. Jesus is acquainted with our hardships and our losses. He understands when we are tempted and tested. I love the saying that is attributed to Chuck Norris:

We never know what the day will bring but we can know the one who brings the day.

Life takes many turns and can come up short of our expectations. We grow frustrated easily. I pastored for over 31 years and I know many of the sorrows the people face. I’ve been at the bedside of those who have been diagnosed with a terminal illness. I have sat with parents grieving the loss of their child in a fatal accident. I had a few words in those times when I would hear the bad news and I didn’t quite know how to comfort family members. Not all of those trials were related to illness, often it was financial loss or the shock of divorce. Difficulties and trials come in many forms.

First Peter 5:7 tells us, "Cast all your cares on Him because he cares for you."

I don’t believe that God is ever concerned or bothered by our questions and especially when we question, why? We were made to ask questions so that we could discover and rediscover the meaning and purpose in life. Life is but a vapor, it is soon gone like the morning dew but what lasts are the things that are eternal. His Truth is forever. 

To discover Truth we need to be people who learn how to trust. Trust is a relational quality that comes because we learn and we develop how to believe. This side of heaven I’ve discovered that I can trust those who were honest with me as well as those who do not lie to me. I can trust those who do not break their promises. I can trust those who do not talk about me behind my back or spread rumors about me. It takes a lifetime to build trust and it can be broken in mere moments.

I’m certain that there are times when someone put their faith and trust in me and my actions broke that trust. I know that even when I try, I can fail. There’s no excuse for it but, in reality, people can hurt us whether it’s intentional or not. Yet we are encouraged to build relationships and take the risk of loving others even though we could be hurt.


There is a quality of love that God, our Father provides. Even though our earthly parents can disappoint and our friends can hurt us, there is a quality of love that God can provide. We’ve all been there when someone has let us down. We also know of times when we are lifted up. That’s good news and it brings hope to every part of our lives here on earth. To be forgiven and to have the ability to forgive others is a tremendous gift that God gives us, through his grace.

I don’t mean to minimize the deep feelings that come with disappointing experiences. I believe that there are valid hurts and difficult, even painful times in our lives. I can recall deep wounds that caused me great pain that I carried with me for years. It was hard to explain why I felt the way I did and it was even harder to overcome these feelings of hurt and rejection. It’s easy for someone to say, "Just get over it." In reality, it’s far more complex. There are people who will go to counseling for many years trying to unravel this mystery of grace and forgiveness. I know for me, it was not easy.


Just like when our children or grandkids ask why, our Heavenly Father loves to hear from us as well. We love that they are exploring and searching, these are good actions. Our heavenly father knows that we don’t have His perspective. So, continue to ask and continue to seek because He rewards our persistence. We need not fear and we should continue to hope.

This side of heaven we may never know fully the explanations to all of our questions. How can we? So because of our limited perspective, let’s hold onto the hope we find in His promises and through His word. We continue to ask and we continue to search because in that we will find meaning to life. 

The scripture does say, "And we know all things work together for good to them that are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28)


Tuesday, August 07, 2018

Thy Kingdom Come on Earth.

We have all prayed the Lord’s Prayer. If you’ve ever been to church it is likely that you have recited the prayer for Matthew 6 that the Lord taught his disciples to pray. But, have you ever really thought about it?

When Jesus told his disciples how to pray, Jesus not only taught them how to recite a prayer but also the various parts that are included when we pray. Prayer should be like breathing, it will sustain life.

Merle is the oldest living member of The Wesleyan Church. She is 111 years young. I had the privilege of serving as her pastor and she was our babysitter for our daughter when we ran our church youth group. She would pretend to be the baby while our daughter pushed her in the stroller. That’s when she was 90. Only standing 4 foot & 5 inches she is a giant in the faith!


In a interview by a television station out of Chicago, Merle was asked what her secret to a long life was. Soft-spoken and practical she simply answered, "Keep breathing." See Video. 

(Meryl passed away the end of August, 2018. She related blog –  A Tribute.)

We should always see prayer as a part of our daily life. The Lords prayer teaches us that there is a kingdom that is beyond this world.

We put God first in all things because he is above all things. Jesus knew that we are tempted to put ourselves first and becoming, "our own god." This is the very first lie told in the garden of Eden that we could be like God. Jesus was tempted in the wilderness he was told that he could rule over all nations. All he needed to do was to bow down and worship Satan. Jesus responded with, "You must worship the Lord your God and serve only Him." It is tempting to be powerful. We are encouraged to worship only God.

We also find that Jesus taught us to seek His kingdom, His will be done on earth as it is in heaven. When we think about heaven and we consider the troubles of this world we wonder how this prayer could come to pass. We question, how can this be, His kingdom on earth as it is in heaven? 

I love the saying, "What you do here today echoes for eternity." It is a reminder that God can use us to make a difference for eternity sake.


In the lives of many children and youth who are in the foster care system or waiting for adoption, we have to wonder what God‘s plan is and how the kingdom of God can make a difference in this world. Dr. David Wright who wrote the book, "How God Makes the World a Better Place" offers ideas about how God uses us as His instruments. We can make a difference. 

"A personal intervention with social systems. We help to make the world a better place when we work to create social systems that focus our collective efforts to improve the lot of our community’s least powerful members. We are concerned not only with the poor, but the structures that promote a healthy community where people can overcome poverty."

Excerpt From: How God Makes the World a Better Place

David Wright

https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-god-makes-the-world-a-better-place/id583487374?mt=11

This material may be protected by copyright.

When we pray "Thy will be done, thy kingdom come," we invite God‘s plan. Essentially we could say that prayer is the alignment of our will with God’s will. Henry Blackerby famously said that we should discover where God is and join Him.

That is essentially what I believe foster parents or those serving in social service are doing for the least and the most vulnerable in our communities. We know that Jesus loves children and we believe that it breaks his heart, as it does ours when we see children who are abused or neglected. They cannot care for themselves and are dependent upon guardianship to provide and protect. His will is in direct partnership with our desire to make a difference. Sin has entered our world which requires spiritual beings like you and me resolve to make a difference in the lives of these young people.


When Jesus was tempted the devil came to him and basically said, "Wouldn’t you like to be popular?" He took him to the highest place of the religious center of life. He sensually was trying to have Jesus do it his own way rather than allow God‘s plan to succeed. Jesus quickly responded that the Lord should not be tested. But isn’t it temptation we face but we often test God by choosing to do things our way. Even making our plans in the coming days or weeks. I put my events on my calendar. I do it, don’t you? 

The next part of the Lords prayer shouldn’t be complex to grasp. This part tells us that we are dependent upon God for our daily bread and the ability to forgive others.

When you think about it, God‘s provision and grace is enough to sustain us daily. Yet we have an appetite for more than what mere bread cannot fill and the ability to forgive others must come from beyond ourselves. The Lord teaches us that he is the provider of both. Our complete dependence must come from the Lord has with rightfully put him in his place and align our will with his will. Often it does come down to day-to-day. 

Jesus was tempted to use his abilities to turn stones into bread but what did Jesus reply, mansion not live by bread alone but by every word that comes from God. He knew that being temporal-minded will never satisfy the deeper and needs that we have. As we look to God, for eternal things, we find his ministry and his promises to be true in our lives.


What did He display after the great flood? Didn’t He say that He would not destroy the world with floods but reminded us that when we see rainbows we take great comfort in his great promises from His Word. 

The next time you recite the Lord‘s prayer, think deeply about the prayer you are praying. Put God first in all things, seek to align your will with his will, and depend on him for your daily needs by looking to His Word.


The Vulnerabilities Many Children Face.

Ask anyone and they will tell you that the most vulnerable in our society are  children. Not having the resources to manage for themselves, they are completely dependent upon an advocate and a provider to meet the most basic needs. Parents or grandparents, aunts and uncles are often the first line of defense in the care of these children. When that breaks down then it is left to others who serve in the role as parent/guardian.

Whenever we talk about orphans we often think of the musical, Annie or the famous line, "More, please!" from Oliver Twist. These have demonstrated with great popularity the hardships that or friends feel. Usually there’s a villain attached to the stories to bring to life the difficulties that orphans face.

But today’s orphan may actually be those residing in foster homes and residential care facilities throughout the United States and around the world. There are, of course orphans who are eligible for adoption and waiting for loving homes. In a recent study it identified that there are hundreds of thousands of these children in the United States alone. 

How Many Foster Care Students Are There in the United States? Check out the article for more details: Statistics on foster care and adoption.


Children are not statistics, of course. These are very real needs. If we could look at the faces of these hundreds of thousands of children we would often see the results of abuse in the collect and we would learn of their situation that caused the state and other agencies to step in to provide for their most basic needs. 

The picture above is of my grandkids. I would never hesitate to buy them toys or clothes because I love them. We have established a very strong bond of love and affection. They are very vulnerable Little people because they are often defenseless except for their loving parents and grandparents would do anything to protect them against harm. 

But what about those children who are neglected and abused, who will care for them? We are always grateful when the extended family steps in to provide for the needs of our youngest victims. We also honor the heroic efforts of those that have children in their care through the foster care system and those who also adopt.

The needs are great and often overwhelming. Francis Chan is famous for his support of orphans and I was in foster care. He states "Isn’t it sick there are as many as 1 million churches in the United States and 1/2 million in foster care and adoption."

He paints a terrific vision when he challenges the church that if, "One church out of every other church would care for a child this need could be met." That vision is a challenge of course but are usually met when you think about the mini caring communities we have in our country today. Maybe it’s your local church or small group or Sunday school class that can step up to provide some level of care and even support a foster parent who is on the front lines.


It’s easy to see the tremendous needs of children and youth who are abused and neglected. They are vulnerabilities can be easily met through Caryn communities and families.


It’s easy to see the tremendous needs of children and youth who are abused and neglected. They are vulnerabilities can be easily met through Caryn communities and families.

There are many vulnerabilities that include lack of consistent education, the need for faith and hope, a consistent and caring family, and a love that goes beyond meeting basic needs.

People of all ages, married and single, can address these needs become the care – provider meeting each of these needs for quality services, comfort, and care.

Ask yourself one question; What is one small act of kindness that I can do today that helps the most of honorable of my own community?