What I’ve Learned By Professionally Networking.

Seems as if every year that I get older I learn a few more things about the importance of relationships. I’m certain that age has nothing  to do with it but I have certainly experienced many years of networking and developing professional relationships that have served me well over the years. Today I want to talk to you about some of the things that I learned over the years through developing professional networking.

As we begin, ask yourself one single question: What do you have to offer in reciprocating relationships?

We have to recognize that in professional networking it’s more important that we develop a relationship by listening. It’s important to listen because it’s through listening that you discover the needs of another so that your skills can uniquely assist.

If you’re doing all the talking there’s a good chance that you’re not learning how to help when the time comes to offer your services.



The following are 10-things that are important to know as you network.


1. People matter more than things.

If you’re the type of person that is using people to get what you want than it’s likely you will not be effective. People will spread the word that you’re really not focused on their needs and they will see quickly through your motivation. We use things not people!

Whether you are trying to encourage a major company or small organization it is important that you develop the relationships to get where you need to go in your efforts to serve.


2. Personal and professional brands do matter.

You’ve likely heard this before but your brand, that is your personal brand, is key to everything else that you do. What are you known for? How do you represent yourself? These are key ingredients to understanding the importance of networking.

Your personal branding is the way you represent yourself on a social media profile or how you promote the services and skills that you have. A personal brand that only communicates your abilities but also your experience in through your education or connections you can deepen the appreciation of a healthy relationship.

High-level people are likened to your neighbors. They get to know the real you quicker than you think. You reveal your motivation and needs through your brand! If you are selling something (which almost all of ya are) you start with meet other people’s needs first!


3. Brands are what people say about YOU.

You’re no different than a corporation. What people say about your brand, a.k.a. yourself, is the reputation that is either going to provide credit to advance your efforts or a deficit that is going to decrease your opportunities. You either bring something into the relationship or you take something away but guaranteed, as you make investments in people’s lives, there is much more to be gained, likened to an investment. If you contribute to the others, you will be able to make withdraws more effectively!

Create your brand with a key set of values that serves to meet needs in your brand will go farther than you think. Your reputation will extend beyond the bounds of direct interactions. Likely "the others" will tell yet many others and you can grow your services exponentially.

I recommend that you take a little survey and self-evaluation about your effectiveness and your brand. It is not difficult to ask a trusted friend to give you feedback on how to improve your image. Self-awareness is so vital to understanding what people perceive about you. It may take courage to ask people to help shape your personal brand but it is worth it!


4. Connecting with others is motivated by the value of OTHERS.

What is most important to you? Your set of values (talked about more later) must start with the needs of others. If you place value on relationships you will experience a quicker sale. You will experience a deeper commitment to your services. You will receive a greater loyalty to what you offer. People are not wired around the bottom line but rather the relational qualities you invested in from the out-set.

Try it! Take just 3-minutes in at the next networking event to ask good questions about others and take only 1-minute yo offer only the most relevant services you can offer in answer to their needs. It works almost every time! Why, because you valued the person and conveyed a deep context of relationship that is of greatest value!


5. We all agree with values rather than goals and projects.

As you sell yourself and your services it is important to focus on values that you can find agreement with rather that debating goals and objectives. Project and services flow from meeting needs which begin with commonly accepted values.

Some people are only interested in setting up goals and projects no matter the needs people have. It is a danger to assume the values of others and it is equally a problem if we are only interested in what we are selling or servicing. By focusing on a set of values that are important to your potential network of relationships you will win friends and not just consumers.

Common values are the reason people may seek you out. If your organization or your services meet the standard of what people find of value, you will win a customer for life. In fact, there is research the shows that the next generation is more interested in your philanthropy more than your services or product. We are an emerging generation of sophisticated and socially aware people that support like-minded services.

Identify your values and find common connections with those set of values and you will find people that will be more loyal to you and our cause (s).


6. "Working a room" means being personal to everyone you meet.

This may be a new idea for you. You may already be an outgoing person that understands what I mean by "working the room". No matter your personality I believe that everyone can develop an easy tactic of strategic mingling.

Envision yourself attending a large networking event. You are one person among 100-plus people. It is a large room and you may even feel overwhelmed by so many people. You may even be a little shy. As you enter the room you get your name tag and you have a large number of business cards with you. You dressed professionally and carry a smile with you. As you walk into the room you think to yourself, Who can I connect with?  Here are a few ideas for you.

a. Know your market. Identify who you may need to include in your network that can assist you in reaching your goals. Make a mental checklist of those personal needs. These are kept only to yourself, tell no one. It is important for you to know who you can include in your network that helps you reach your goals.

b. Scan the attendees, looking for opportunities to connect. Take a deep breath and look over the room. Find people that you can easily chat with. This is a time to make small talk - not deep discussions. It is a time to find easy connections. Watch for those that are standing by themselves. Start there but don't stay there. Casual discussion and greeting them is your first step. If you feel a connection then dig into the conversation more deeply. If there are groups of people standing at a table or in a circle, find opening for you to step into the group and make small talk. Start with listening and move on as you can.

c. Get to the point. As you work your way around the room you are looking and listening at first. You want to have quick conversations that help identify where people are from. You are looking for industries that relate to yours. You are looking for values that agree with your own. You are listening for common connections that can develop the opportunity to exchange business cards. You are not trying to sell or trade anything right away. You are simply trying to connect. You can always find the right connections over Linked-In or other social media services.

d. Sell only yourself not your services. It is important for you to have a good understanding of yourself. You need to sell YOU first. People connect with people not products. People are what matter and your personality must shine. Being friendly is only a start. Demonstrate confidence but humility. No one like a loudmouth or a large ego.  You will be noticed if you demonstrate humility. You may even offer to fill someone's coffee or demonstrate your willingness to serve. It will be remembered. Also, it is important to have a good attitude. Keep your stories short. Keep your conversation lite. Keep your jokes to a minimum. It is important that you impact people. It is not so important that you impress people. Show genuineness and authenticity. It will win friends and influence people.

e. Sales only follow personal touch. If you network correctly you will be remembered as someone that is nice and polite. You will stand out as you call people by their first name and a good handshake. You must use the 20-second introduction as your way to sell yourself first. For example you can use the following script to make a good impression.

Greetings. My name is Rick Carder. I am here to provide for your success!  I am always looking for people that I can help become more influential. Let me know how I can assist you. My industry is....

Keep your introduction to less than 20-second. No more!  Focus on demonstrating how you can assist others. Titles don't matter at this stage of the game. Resumes are not important, yet. Your success is not most important to other. Remember, people are self-centered so if you find ways to assist others you will be remembered and likely called upon later. 

7. Focus on the needs of others will always get you what you need as well.

 This brings me to the purpose of networking. It is not about you. It is about finding ways that you can meet needs of others. Start by listening and you will hear ways to serve. Make mental notes and use your follow up message to provide simple solutions and opportunities to help. You need to find out how you can serve or provide for their needs. As you do this you will get what you need as well.

Every relationship must be reciprocal. You give and take in every healthy relationship. As you meet people you are starting the process of creating ways to exchange back and forth. People are not one-sided. They want to find ways to have healthy reciprocal connections. 


8. A serving attitude is key to a successful network.

I may have already addressed services you offer but I want to dig in deeper to your service attitude. It is not only important to tell people what you do but it is important to demonstrate a serving attitude. You will always be well-received if you can ask good questions. If you only give answers you will not be remembered as humble and service-oriented.

As you work the room, ask questions that draw out ways you can serve. As you make introductions move quickly in to asking questions about what others do and discover their needs. They will likely tell you what they need if you are asking questions like, "What is your biggest challenge?"


9. Successful networking is not about you.

Let me also take time to dig more deeply into what successful networking looks like. It is not about YOU!  It is about working a room to get to know what needs there are that you can solve. If you can help them in someway, give them your card and collect theirs. If you listen and hear about how you can answer their deepest concern, give them your card and collect their.

Move through the room by keeping your interactions for less than 5-minute discussions. Introductions are not meant to start deep conversation. Stay clear of politics. Stay clear of headline stories of the day. These are distractions. Keep your focus on finding people with needs that you can help. It is important that people know how you solve problems and a little bit about your industry but it is more important that you gather that information from others.

You will want to meet as many as possible. It is your one shot at meeting people. As you move from connection to connection you will need to have ways to "move-on" without being insulting. Let people know how important their time is. Remind them of their need to connect but always leave every conversation with a statement like, "If I can help you please don't hesitate to call me."  Move on.

One more point. Always look people in the eye. Don't scan the crowd while you are talking with people. Don't leave the impression that you are looking for someone else to talk to. You may be tempted to find someone you know and look over the shoulder of someone you are speaking with. Keep your focus on the person in front of you. Try to end the discussion quickly so that you can connect with another person.


10. Follow-up is more important than the initial meeting of exchanging business cards.

Many miss this all-important point. It is so vital to have an action plan that defines your next steps.  Sending a follow up connecting communication is vital. Always send a connecting communication within 72 hours of your first meeting. You will be forgotten the longer it takes for you send a follow up message.

It is so vital to send your message with a reminder of how you met and what their stated as areas of need they have. Compliment the relationship through a genuine and authentic communication. You will also want to send a message within 2-weeks after you make the initial follow up connecting communication. It is in this message that you define more clearly what you have to offer based on the needs that were identified in your initial introduction.

Having fun and being casual is so important as you network with others. Making a good first impression is vital to being able to connect further. Having a servant attitude will go a long way in being remembered. You will never regret what you attempted to do to engage but you may regret not trying to engage someone. Live by listening will always get you ahead of the competition.

Selfies: Is It All About YOU?

They are definitely all over Facebook and Instagram. You have seen them too! Of course I am referring to those selfie’s. Those self portraits that are taken by extending your arm and click, it’s all about you! It’s amazing how many people love to post pictures of themselves. I’m not talking about just any old picture but usually there self portraits are taken from their phones with expressions from silly looks to puckered lips. It’s as if as they extend their hand to take a picture of themselves that their face somehow becomes distorted.

Have you ever noticed how many songs there are that talk about self? Take a look at the top 50 songs. (Forgive the exploitative in the link.)

I observed one lady sitting at a restaurant taking a picture after picture of herself and then studying each one. She must’ve taken at least 20 pictures. Not sure if she was looking for the right pose or if she was confused about who’s face was in the image. Maybe she was posting pictures to several of her social media outlets. Nevertheless, I found it to be rather distracting and humorous at the same time.  It seemed that as she raised her arm to take the picture her lips would pucker up. It was funny to see her do this over-and-over.

What is it about our society today? Is it because of the popularity of social media? Maybe it’s our need to be seen and heard? We live in a world filled with individuals who seem bent on making sure that everyone knows of their existence. It’s a very self-centered reality. If you’re not watching ourselves as we take glamour shots and post to social media we are watching reality TV that seems to exploit the same thing. Maybe we are trying to live our lives through others that we find more interesting and glamorous?

James 1:23-24
For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like.

In the book of James were reminded that there were selfies being taken even back in that day. Certainly they did not have photography but they did have self portraits. Sometimes, if you were famous enough and rich enough you could put your image on a coin. There were paintings and other displays of selfies.

There were mirrors that reflected their image. James seems to say that we easily forget and so we have to examine ourselves often in the mirror. Maybe that’s why so many people take self portraits today. They forget what they look like when they walk away.

A moment of personal reflection…. I like taking pictures of others and hate taking pictures of myself. I own several selfie sticks that I have used often to create community as I take pictures of groups of people and post them on social media. I take them often. It could be that I’m no different than those who post selfie‘s of themselves but I love to brag on people that I know when they have accomplishments and achievements. I enjoy letting other people know that I have noticed then.

When when it comes to myself, I look at myself often first thing in the morning to make sure that my hair is correct or that I don’t have any creepy things stuck to my face. I go throughout my day not really examining what I look like but there are those occasions when I need to make a small adjustment to my hair do or I make sure that I don’t have spinach in my teeth.

I find it rather peculiar the amount of times that not only teenagers but also adults take pictures of themselves often and place them on social media. Well I’m not trying to criticize them it does remind me of this passage of scripture in James where it seems as if we forget what we look like. Could it be that we’re examining the wrong image in all those social media pics?

Could it be that we could take the image of Christ as our image? Might it be that we could reflect Him in all that we do and say? Could it be that we ought to examine ourselves to see if we even match up to the image that Christ would have for us?

We seem to make every effort to let people know our individual self. Society seems spent on forming an identity that doesn’t necessarily match up to that of Christ. The danger is that if we take only our identity and promote our individuality that we may miss out on the values in the characteristics that are wholesome and gave eternal value.

Maybe the lesson is that what we see in the mirror as self reflection is but a reminder that this is temporary. Perhaps it is a reminder that only what is in Christ is eternal and of significant value. Certainly we are created in God’s image and if we are to reflect that image we are to bring Him glory.