Thursday, December 19, 2019

A Divided Country, A United Church. 

This post is a response to current political issues confronting our country. The views expressed here do not necessarily reflect your political persuasions yet, I hope that we can find room in our hearts and come into agreement.

Local media outlets are now using the phrase to describe our country by declaring that we are in a "cold Civil War". We all likely agree that we are a divided nation. There are many parallels that we could draw from these current times and what had unfolded in our country’s history in the early to mid 1800s. We agree that our country is divided! There were opinions and persuasions on all sides of nearly every issue, we are finding political conflict.

What is so unfortunate is that we are bombarded with messages that are negative and it gives us an anxious spirit during what is supposed to be the celebration of the Christ child. Though He was vulnerable, the Christ child is the deliverance of all our greatest hope!

Let me remind you that in Bethlehem and throughout the region, there was political unrest not at all unlike our current times. Nearly every historian of biblical history as well as secular writings remind us that during the time that Jesus was born there was significant abusive of power as well as obstruction of their government as well. After all, it was taxation that forced Mary and Joseph to go to a small town in Bethlehem to be counted.

Government officials of that day were so hostile that even in the prophetic announcement of the king of the Jews, Jesus’ birth, that every firstborn child were ordered to be killed! Talk about anger and hostility, and jealousy; there’s nothing that even compares to the outrage in that day.

In Luke 2, of which the story has been rehearsed in nearly every Christian church around the world. The gospel is read and the majority of homes beginning with, "In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world."

Many scholars believe that this was a time in which it was an attempt for the government to seize more taxes and to discover this king of the Jews who was to be born. in the hustle and bustle of a busy community, even the innkeeper had no room in his "guest room" (NIV) for Mary, Joseph, and soon-to-be-born Jesus. For thousands of years the parallels of the Christmas story to our times have been shared in pulpits, and communities, and in our homes.

We have a divided country politically. Traditional values and historic definitions are being challenged. We are just as busy as they were in that little town in Bethlehem. People throughout the region were not only careful about what they said aloud but were bustling to the point that they did not even recognize that a King was going to be born in the town of David. David, the hero King of the Old Testament who was the King of Israel!

The message was heralded by the angels to some shepherds in the low lands. The prophecy was carefully read as the Wiseman searched for a King by following the star. Those who would dedicate this infant Kin, Jesus would sing triumphantly of the promise given long ago.

My point today? I remind us to always remember, and never forget that the story of Christ birth must unify the church around one central theme, the theme of love and goodwill! That though there was no peace in Jesus‘s birth, He can bring peace to every heart! Though the world is divided, our church is united in it’s central message that the King was born!

This King that I speak of is not the dictator, nor a ruling party, nor a monarch. He is not a King who would order our submission but a King whom we will come to worship of our own free will. This King that I speak of will bring peace to every heart that is willing to submit to Him. This king that I speak of will show love like no other. This King that I speak of transforms our bitter and anxious heart to one of hope and the deliverance that we long for.

Church, ring your bells and share the triumphant message; the only one who can save us has come called Emmanuel, Prince of peace, mighty God, everlasting father. Shout it from the mountain tops. Throw open the windows and knock on every door so that the carols of Christmas are heard!

Though our country is divided, our church is united!

Tuesday, December 17, 2019

Loathing the Impersonal and Longing for a Connection. 

It isn’t new but it is an experience that many people face each and every day; people are dealing with loneliness. In the age of social media, when seemingly everyone is connected, research is telling us that people have never been more disconnected and isolated from one another than ever before. Inc.com offers up a good perspective.

“Unfortunately, however, the internet hasn't helped us feel more connected with anyone. Studies show almost half of us feel lonely and isolated.” Here's Why the Internet Has Made Us Lonelier Than Ever | Inc.com

Add to this, we are a busy society, schedules that are especially busy during the holiday season. Just look around any department store and you’ll see it. Many are doing their shopping online and avoid those same department stores. The increased suicide rate tells the most alarming story of how isolated and disconnected we really are.

I loath the impersonal, just ask my wife! I would much rather go into the bank then go through drive-through. This is also true when it comes to my pharmacist and fast food restaurants. I don’t mind waiting in line because it’s an opportunity to chat with people. I am highly social but for some who may not even struggle with social anxieties, they would prefer to remain in their car at the drive-through.

 I may be unusual in this matter. I even ring the bell for the Salvation Army during the busy Christmas season just so that I could chat with people, even if it’s just for a brief moment. Like anyone, I have my moments when I too can be over-scheduled. There are times when I just need a break from talking to people. Yet, like most, I too have a longing for the personal interactions of people.

Today, I want to encourage us to go outside and get together with others as much as possible. A parallel can be draw from research on seasonal depression. I think it’s sort of like those that deal with depression in the cloudy, gloomy season of winter, due to the lack of sunshine and vitamin deficiencies.

The sunshine can counter the effects of depression. I was one of those who struggled with depression during the winter months. Yet, I came to realize that I can’t do anything about the weather but I can control my social interactions. I actually compensate for the lack of sunshine with the drug of human interaction, increasing my social aptitude and engaging connection, building relationships with others.

Increasing one’s social aptitude can be counterintuitive but I encourage you to give it a try. Here are a few things that I did that you may also want to try, especially during the holiday seasons that occur during the winter months.

1. Go to parties (even if you’re not invited).
2. Volunteer your time at a community event or local Homeless Mission that serves the poor.
3. Go shopping ... for someone else.
4. Visit someone is the hospital or retirement community (Nursing home).

There are many ideas out there that you could do similar to these that I have stated. The idea is to think of others. The more that we consider our needs above the needs of others, the greater likelihood that we will become negative as well as self-centered, looking internally to solve our own concerns. As we think of others we will recognize how much greater other people‘s needs are and actually feel good and ourselves for helping someone else.

Through simple acts of kindness we can fill the longing in our heart for the personal not only during Christmas but throughout the year.

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” - Aesop

Friday, December 06, 2019

A Season of Giving Can Season the Year!

Once again we’re in the season of giving. Between now and the New year we are dashing through the snow to find that most perfect gift for the one we love. We hurry through a winter wonderland in an effort to make Christmas a special day. 

With holiday cheer and musical backdrop we can’t wait for the hallmarks days of Christmas and the many Christmas specials that keep us on the edge of our seat for a storyline that always ends with a kiss. But what does it really mean to shout from the mountain tops HO-HO-HO, Merry Christmas and to all a good night? We may even find ourselves dreaming of a white Christmas but is that all there is to this season? 

We search for joy to the world only to find that the grinch has stolen Christmas. We sing carols and offer wishes of goodwill to all men, yet,  many are in a slumber the day after Christmas. Perhaps we’re looking for some rest our not so Merry gentlemen (and ladies). Somehow those familiar tunes got lost over the valley and through the woods returning from grandma’s house. 

Today, I want to remind you that there is more to this season than the trappings of candle lights and Christmas trees. There is more than just 25 Days of Christmas! Something indeed is happening in Whoville and in your-ville. 

A season of giving seasons the whole year!

While we have long awaited all year can last beyond the season. The joy we experience in a season of giving can last the entire year. While the tradition of wrappings and trimmings fade beyond the season, there is a season that can last the whole year. For Clark as well as you, it is the gift that keeps on giving! 

This goes beyond the motto, Jesus as the reason for the season because He is the reason all year long!

John 10:10 reads; “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

You will find it hard to sleep tonight but you can have that anticipation all year long. Celebrate the joy of Jesus all year long! 

In the lyrics of the now famous song: 

“I'm offering this simple phrase to kids from 1 to 92 - all though it's been said many times, many ways ... 

Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas to you.”


Sunday, November 24, 2019

Thankfulness Is Not Seasonal: It Is An Attitude! 

Likely there are many articles being written about Thanksgiving so, I thought I would add yet one more. However, my thoughts are taking shape as I write this entry.

I have much to be thankful for. Gratitude derives it’s existence from thankfulness. But, hold that thought for just a moment. I may need define a few things first.

My thoughts center on the adjective and not the Holiday of Thanksgiving. While they do go together, one describes the other. It is a description of what the Holiday represents!

Thankfulness is about the attitude. It means having a good and healthy attitude about which we celebrate. Having a spirit of thankfulness means being grateful. It is about being pleased and it derives it’s meaning from an internal quality not influenced by external happenings. At least that is true for Christians who should have a heart of thankfulness.

Our attitude is influenced by the way we think. If we choose to be negative we will not have a healthy attitude. If we choose to see things as bad or fatal, we will be possessed by a negative outlook. There isn’t any amount of turkey and mashed potatoes that can solve that bad attitude.

So, instead I choose to have a thankful heart that produces a positive attitude!
The unthankful heart... discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings! - Henry Ward Beecher
I am thankful for ...
  • Family who loves. There is nothing like family. It is here that your rest your head and let your hair down. It is where you and Incan be real. I am grateful for my family who remain family through the thick and the thin. It is here that you learn responsibility! 
  • Friends who care. You cannot choose your family but you can choose your friends. This is an important ingredient to this category. Friendship is a wonderful blessing because it is here that you can learn to be honest, and find sincere feedback. It is where you learn accountability. It here that you learn grace!
  • Freedom that is bountiful. I am thankful that I live I a place that is abundant in free-will. I know that not everyone has this luxury. I am aware that it can easily be taken away. I learn to be a guardian of freedom by what I do to protect it for others. Freedom is more than democracy and it is less than unlimited boundaries. I learn to honor others and promote justice!
  • Faith that transforms. My faith alone is not the think I am thankful for though it is what promotes hope. I know that as I believe that I must act according to beliefs. My faith is in The Truth of the Bible and the grace of my Lord, Jesus Christ. It is here that I grow to understand love for God and love of mankind! 
I love the saying by William Blake; "A thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest."

Go ahead and make your list and you will be surprised how it can chage your outlook as well! Count your blessings not your worries. Consider all the things that you benefit by but more importantly the relationships that you have. I’ll never be disappointed as you focus on the intangible and even recalling the particular miracles I got is done on your behalf.

You have a harvest of blessings that are yours because you choose to have an attitude of thankfulness.

Tuesday, October 22, 2019

Why Are You Here? 

I must have been asked this question a million times in my life so far. The question: Why are you here?  This question may have been asked in a variety of ways but it represents a question of purpose and mission as well as the meaning of life itself. Our life certainly is much more than what we do or the role that we serve, yet, it is an essential question informing our identity and purpose in life.


Often during interviews for a job you will be asked a series of questions related to your purpose or life-calling. Questions that relate include:

What do you do?
How do you like to spend your time?
Do you enjoy your job?
What wakes you up in the morning?
What are you good at?
What does success look like to you?



Today I was sitting in a meeting and somebody actually talked about that very subject. It was a conversation related to the purpose of the meeting and their role in serving the organization. They were serious. They didn’t just want to get out of a meeting.  I contemplated this at a deeper level. This is something that rarely occurs in the company of others but is often an internal quest for meaning and significance.

I thought to myself years ago, what is my own purpose for why I am serving in the role and organization that I occupy. I have long since answered the biggest question since my relationship with Christ formed my very identity. I have come to terms with the question of whose am I? I recently wrote an article related to this particular perspective.

The challenge for all of us is to develop our life purpose as well as the set of values that guide or direct our lives. I remember how important it was for me to know what I wanted on quite a few different occasions but most especially when I purchased a vehicle. I know, it’s a strange metaphor but hold on tight.

One of the first vehicles that I ever purchased from a dealership reminds me of a lesson that I’ll never forget. I casually browsed vehicles in the parking lot at the dealership I was confronted by a salesman who was rather pushy and convincing. You know those occasions all too well. Someone has something to sell and you have something you need or even thought you needed.

There I was with the salesman trying to decide how much luxury I really needed in a vehicle. Do I really need power steering? Yes, it was quite a long time ago and that was an option. Other questions that have often played me by salesman at dealerships as whether I want to comfy seats or automatic transmission or even power windows.

I really did not think it through and was compelled to purchase something more than I really needed. I paid more money for the bells and whistle’s that were clearly options that I did not need. I remember telling my wife and telling her that I had purchased a new vehicle and her name needed to be on the signature loan.

I think often about how life will either take control or I will maintain my own free well. In other words, if I don’t know where I’m going there’s a good chance that somebody else will take me where they’re going. Life has a way of taking you for a ride unless you take control yourself.


So back to the question, why are you here? Do you possess a mission in life purpose that will guide you through all the many complex questions you will have to answer? There were so many times in my life that I had not really had a good handle on what I needed in life took me for a ride.

It takes time to develop your life purpose. Once you get there, it will guide and inform your decisions. I love what Brendon Burchard once wrote in his best seller, “When you knock on the door of opportunity, do not be surprised that it is Work who answers.”

Today I have a better developed understanding of myself in more control of my profession and data day outlook. I have a better handle on what I need in life. What I’ve learned through the years is to ask myself three significant questions to better design for my life calling both personally and spiritually. The first question often  asked is what do I want out of life? I am defined in part by the faith in Christ who answers this question on what God has designed. I have found it helpful to answer the question first of who’s I am? After this, I can ascertain the rest of the quest of mission and purpose.  Instead of answering the question on purely selfish motivations, I look to God‘s call on my life so therefore these three questions derive their meaning from the very basis of my spiritual been being.

So let me take a stab at these three questions and encourage you to write down your mission statement and purpose that you choose as you ask yourself….

Consider first what Simon Sinek said about purpose:

“Not only did discovering my WHY renew my passion, it gave me a filter to make better decisions. It offered me a new lens through which I would see the world differently.” - Simon Sinek

1. If I could find peace and meaning in life doing anything, what words would you use to describe that in under 20 words? You might call this your purpose statement.

2. What are the top three strengths that I believe that I have that will help me for fill the first question?  Not write those out and under 10 words each that point to how I fulfill that first question. We might call these The evidence of how you plan to implement your purpose.

3. What is most important to you? List at least five values that you live by, naming what is priority for you.

4. Now to make all of this step-by-step and actionable. Ask yourself, what can I do today that would help me reach my purpose? Also ask yourself, what can I do over the next six months and then what can I do in the next 3 to 5 years?

5. Now is one of the most important aspects of defining in your life-calling. In a short sentence, incorporating the expressions from the first three questions, ask yourself, why am I here? Defining your mission is most essential and would be at the top of your sheet once you’ve completed this exercise. You might start with the phrase, “the main reason I exist is to...”

Going back to the question of why been most essential means discerning from everything else the distinctive that sets you apart from others while at the same time being relevant to accomplishing a list of Strank’s, objectives, personal values, and goals.

In short order you should be able to accomplish at least the initial draft of the question who am I and why am I here? As you review the objective consider the following by Simon Sinek.

Read more on this topic - 10 Life Purpose Tips to Help You Find Your Passion.

Thursday, October 17, 2019

Untruths: What NOT to Say at a Funeral.

I have said things at funerals that are not really true. Yep, I knew that what I said was not really true but I was making an effort to be caring and supportive. It was an awkward moment that I know you have experienced as well. Go ahead, admit it, you are like me.

You have said untruths like me, albeit with good intentions. An untruth is something we believe that if we say it long enough, it will be true.

It is not just at funerals that we can espouse untruths. Sometimes we carry these ideas into our lifestyle! A famous one I have heard often and maybe you have said it too is, "God helps those that help themselves."  We think that this is biblical but it in reality it is an untruth; it isn't found anywhere is the Bible. I dare you to try to find it in the scriptures.

Untruths are half-truths at best. These are ideas that we might state that changes the focus from God’s promise to our own will and self-help philosophy. Yet, we know for sure that we can always share the promises of God in every situation. (See below for a few of these promises.)

When it comes to funerals, we have the best of motivations. We may have even thought that if we said comforting words that it would help those that are grieving because of incredible loss. We try to bring soothing expressions of love but in reality we are saying things that are not true.

Here are a few saying that I have heard often repeated at funerals but in reality they are untruths.


It will be okay (or even saying that it will get better).

God must have wanted him/her in heaven.

He/She is in a better place.

You will get over it.

God uses all things for good. 

God doesn't give us more than we can bear.(We will look more intently at this phrase later.)


Comforting those who are dealing with loss and grief means choosing our words carefully. Like me you may be those who provided council to the old testament patriarch Job. He went through some of the worst times ever and all his friends could do is find ways to blame the problem on Job. They said thinks like, "It will get better!"  I think that Job would have seen otherwise in the midst of his grief.

When my brother, Glen died I was rather shocked at what people said at his funeral. His death was the result of a suicide. It has been over 10 years now since his death. It was such an unforeseen event. It was troubling and terrible all rolled up into a state of shock and sadness. Family gathered with attempts to comfort and care. Our words were mixed with grief and attempts to bring comfort to siblings and our parents. (No parents should ever have to live with the grief of seeing their children die before they do.)  It is awful and overwhelming.

Someone close to the family offered up the cliche, "God must have needed him in heaven."  Perhaps the person was not aware that Glen committed suicide. Perhaps the person felt that those words would bring us comfort. Maybe he thought that speaking of eternity in such a manner would provide a final closure to such tragic circumstances. Well, it did none of the above!

I have officiated at many funerals. I have been at visitations on plenty more such occasions. I have done funerals for people I have never known. I have grieved as well as I buried good friends and family members. Each of these times I have often wondered what I could say that would be a healing remedy to such a terrible loss. Death is never convenient nor does it come to upon grieving family and friends at the most optimal of settings. It always takes and never does it give!

Recently I officiated at the funeral of my uncle. I was tempted to say some of these untruths: It will get better.... or, God must have needed him in heaven.... or, God doesn't give us more than we can bear! In an effort to provide comfort and care, I was thinking that saying simple phrases could ease the pain of loss. I thought that if only a simple phrase could make everything better!  All I could do was sit silently and offer a patient, caring, and listening presence.  My cousin, who was impacted the most felt the stinging pain of not only the untimely death of our uncle but just two weeks prior the family gathered for the funeral of her mother, my aunt. (In a recent blog entry I shared an entry of what aunts and uncles teach us.)

Over the many years that I have pastored and conducted funerals, sat near to the family of the dying, and visited those at funeral visitations, I have learned one significant lesson. It is our words that actually make the difference!

Memorial of the victims at the Norther
Illinois University school shooting.
In reality it isn't our words that make things better but it is our presence that brings comfort. It is in fact God's presence that brings hope and healing. It is in those times of deep despair that we find friendship necessary. We can easily become isolated due to the awkwardness of the moment and forget that just being present is the source of comfort and care. Words can all to often get in the way.

Few understand the senseless tragedies of school shootings. They all created fear and incredible loss! Just over 11-years ago I served with the Samaritan's Crisis Care Chaplain Network responding to the Northern Illinois University mass shooting. I was dispatched to the first Chaplain Response team. It was there that I came to understand that words matter and that listening matters more! There were no cliche phrases that would have worked in this incident.
In times of loss, like during the funeral of a special friends or family member, we can find that simply sharing memories and experiences we have with the deceased is comforting. Funerals are not a time to breakout into our latest philosophies or ideas of death and dying. It is not a time to espouse doctrine but it is equally not a time to give false narratives either. We need to share truth in times of loss but by doing this carefully and appropriately can be a hard balance.

In a recent article on the pain of Job's loss, I found an answer to my own searching heart.

Job’s crisis was completely unexpected and utterly incomprehensible.  This blameless and upright man who feared God and shunned evil lost everything; every sheep, camel, ox, and donkey that he owned.  A total of 11,500 animals died along with the servants who kept them.  And as if the loss of these possessions and people were not enough, Job’s seven sons and three daughters died when a mighty windstorm destroyed the house they were in.  All of these events occurred within the span of a single day.  The emotional misery and grief was compounded as Job was stricken with boils from head to toe and his only remaining family member, his wife, urged him to curse God and die. No matter what our circumstances, Job’s tragedy reminds us of a few unshakable truths.

Our words and actions reveal our hearts.
In a crisis, a person’s response is significant. Job’s response was striking.  In the midst of a grief that brought him to his knees, Job worshipped.  This act reveals a heart that was as God described it, upright and God-fearing.  Job’s words confirmed his deeds when he spoke to his wife saying, "shall we indeed accept good from God and shall we not accept adversity?  In all this Job did not sin with his lips."  (Job 2:10)  - Written by Cheryl Bell -- Learning from Grief, Listening to Job

I think that being honest is most appropriate but with love and care for those that need comfort is most acceptable. Many times we may feel inclined to share good news in bad times that should demonstrate love and good will toward those in greatest need. Being present is always the right prescription. I call this the ministry of presence in times of trouble. While this is an active ministry, you may feel that you are doing very little to help someone who is dealing with grief and sadness. However, be assured, there is much to be gained by having your simply be present during times of crisis or pain.

I remember having such an overwhelming need to say the right things while visiting a family after a tragic incident that caused the death of a father and friend of mine. The accident was sudden and shocking. It was both tragic and unavoidable but nevertheless many felt the nagging feeling of "what if". They all felt that if only why had come home sooner the accident could have been avoided. Many felt that if only they stuck around to help with the project that was being handled when the accident occurred. I remember thinking some of the same things. I had my own "what if" feelings.

During the hours just after the accident occurred, there I was sitting with the family trying to make sense of the whole event. I was wrestling with what to say. There I sat with the children, ages 5 and 8. I had nothing to offer in answer to their questions. Everyone was asking, why? I thought of scriptures that I could read. I thought of prayers I could have prayed. I often, even today wonder if I did my best to bring hope and healing to a hurting family.

It was during this time and many other tragic scenarios that came to understand that it is okay to say, "I don't know."  Perhaps this is the greatest of all temptations to believe that you must have the answers. It is so tempting to be the hero with not only the answers but also the ability to heal the broken. Yet, not having the answers is actually the best way to be because you are being honest and you don't find yourself giving untruths and passive cliches. 

There are three perspectives that I believe that we can talk about that is very true. These are perspectives that are supported in scripture. I offer these three perspectives so that you can feel a bit of relief as you provide a ministry of presence in times of crisis and pain. I know that these categories have helped me as I minister to people in pain during funerals and visitations or any other type of crisis event that we find ourselves having to give comfort and care.

1. Help Eternal.

I really don't know how families go through such heart-ache and pain without knowing the Lord, Jesus Christ?  It is such a tremendous painful experience to lose a loved one, no matter the circumstance.

Sometimes we think that we can be comforted by the ideas that someone was aged in years or their illness was long.  In reality, death is not ever comforted by such things.

I did the funeral for Merle Phillips. She was 111 and 1/2 years old. Her death was deeply felt by all who were in attendance. The church was packed!  She was loved my many and her contribution was profound. Children and adults were impacted by her. At her funeral we all recalled our stories of remembrance. There were plenty of fond memories that made us laugh to the point of tears! Our loss was not comforted by her years.  We all felt the pain of our loss.

2 Corinthians 4:7-9 New International Version (NIV) reads:

7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

The God-breathed passage reminds us that though we suffer, yet in our faith we are not destroyed! Paul, who faced death many times reminds us that there is HELP ETERNAL. 

We can bring the truth of God's loving hand into our grieving heart. No matter the suffering, we can find God's presence is with us. Paul testifies to this. We too can tell others that God is not unaware nor is He not concerned. What we see here in our grief is not the end of the story. There is a narrative beyond our pain and suffering.

For us today, we need to seek to provide help in times of trouble. It is not what we say that makes the difference, it is being present that does make the difference. We are agents of God's design for help. We need to continue to be the friend and one who continues to care!  We need to stand ready to help!

Even as others sink deep into grief, we need to be the ones that offer support and the counsel that helps bring people to the loving care of Jesus Christ. He too suffered and is acquainted with our grief.  I recently wrote an article on this subject of depression. As a start, we need to offer support groups and wise counsel to help those who are in a cycle of pain. Consider this article as well: "When You are Feeling BLUE."

Back to the phrase, God will not give you more than you can bear is not biblical. It resembles the passage from 1 Corinthians 10:13b. Yet, it is not in the same context as we might think. You see, the biblical passage is referring to temptation not trouble. Job would have argued this point because he suffered far more than humanly possible to bear. It is a misinterpretation that even Job’s friends might have made. The difference is that in temptation, God provides a way of escape!

In trials, as in the case of Job, there was no escape but there was (and is) God’s Grace that is all-sufficient!

To answer all of that and to give my answer to the question, let’s just look at the key texts that I think he probably has in mind. 1 Corinthians 10:13: "No temptation" -- or test, since it is the same word in Greek -- "has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted [tested] beyond your ability [beyond what you are able], but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." 
When Paul says that God won’t give what is beyond what you are able, he means not beyond what you are able with God’s help. We know that because of a couple of other things he says. For example, in 2 Corinthians 9:8 he says, "God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work."
In other words, in every test or temptation, the question is, Will I do what I ought to do? Paul says, "There will be grace." He does not merely say, "I am depending on you to use your resources without depending on grace." Rather, God is telling us, "I am giving you grace so that there will be grace to do it, but you are not independent of my powers to help." - Desiring God article.
The bottom line is that we need to offer HELP ETERNAL. At minimum we listen and show patience and care. We too can encourage the grieving to seek help from counselors. We must always offer biblical comfort through the word of God. We too need to be agents of God's help, pointing to eternal truths that God loves us, that Jesus understands our pain, and that while this situation is not fair, God's mercy is very real!


2. Hope Eternal.

This leads me to my next point. We might look to it as a source of comfort in times of trial and distress. I call it HOPE ETERNAL. The relationship we have with God, through Jesus Christ is a bedrock of support. Our confidence can be very essential to help someone who is dealing with grief. Instead of saying that it will get better, we need to demonstrate a hope that is beyond ourselves. We need to point to God's eternal hope.


Let me break this down for us. We need to be willing to come alongside those that are grieving. We further need to represent the eternal love our God, through Christ. We are God's ambassadors that point to the eternal hope we have in Jesus Christ.


We can essentially say three things to those that are grieving.


1. God loves and cares for you.  He tells us through Peter that we can cast ALL our cares on Him because He cares for us. (1 Peter 5:7 -- "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." Also: 1 John 4:8b -- "God is love."

2. God is also grieving your loss. He too feels your pain. While we cannot undo the pain we feel, it does mean that he made you a person who feels because you are created in His image. (Isaiah 53:3 --


"He was despised and rejected-- a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care.")



3. God can handle our doubt, questions, and anger.  God is not offended by our feelings of loss. He in fact, whats us to go to Him. (Proverbs 19:11 (NIV) --"A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense." Also: Psalm 103:8 -- "The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love")


While we don't have all the answers and it is okay to say that we just don't know, we can assure those that are grieving that it is not about the answers we have or don't have. It is about walking through pain and being honest with God in our times of doubt and despair.  He wants us to be real and not just fake it. 


3. Home Eternal.


Back to the funeral I just did for my uncle. It was really a wonderful occasion to be with family and to share the simple truth of God's love and His plan for our lives. I believe that God was present in all occasions at the funeral.


One of the major theme's I lifted from the Bible is found in John 14. It is perhaps the second most popular passage next to the 23rd Psalm. It is when he told his disciples that he was leaving them and that He was going to prepare a place for them when He comes again. It is a HOME ETERNAL.

Funerals Are a time to share the glorious truth of an eternal home. You may not know where the soul of a stranger may be in eternity but you can share this glorious good news of a HOME ETERNAL with the living!
Among the believers, we can celebrate the eternal riches of a home eternal that is promised in scripture!

The perspective that Job echoes for us today is one of being faithful NO MATTER the circumstance. It is realizing the eternal destiny of our future home. It is seeing the way God sees it. It is knowing that both good and bad befall every person!
Consider the final perspective of Job. See how he remains faithful no matter the trial that came his way! He sees his goal as bring glory to God!
Job 19: 25-27 -- "For I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; I myself will see him with my own eyes."

Study some passages that remind people of God's incredible promises. There are well over 3,000 promises that we can count on. Consider picking up a copy of the book by Clint Byers, "God Says Yes To Over 3,000 Promises."

Here are a few:
2 Peter 1:4 And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Matthew 11:28-29 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Isaiah 40:29-31
He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.
Even youths will become weak and tired,
and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.

Philippians 4:19 And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.

Romans 8:37-39 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow--not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below--indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Proverbs 1:33 But all who listen to me will live in peace,untroubled by fear of harm."

John 14:27 "I am leaving you with a gift--peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.

Romans 10:9 If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord. The promises of God are powerful and awesome to grasp. I pray that these scriptures about God’s promises were helpful to you today.