Loathing the Impersonal and Longing for a Connection.

It isn’t new but it is an experience that many people face each and every day; people are dealing with loneliness. In the age of social media, when seemingly everyone is connected, research is telling us that people have never been more disconnected and isolated from one another than ever before. Inc.com offers up a good perspective.

“Unfortunately, however, the internet hasn't helped us feel more connected with anyone. Studies show almost half of us feel lonely and isolated.” Here's Why the Internet Has Made Us Lonelier Than Ever | Inc.com

Add to this, we are a busy society, schedules that are especially busy during the holiday season. Just look around any department store and you’ll see it. Many are doing their shopping online and avoid those same department stores. The increased suicide rate tells the most alarming story of how isolated and disconnected we really are.

I loath the impersonal, just ask my wife! I would much rather go into the bank then go through drive-through. This is also true when it comes to my pharmacist and fast food restaurants. I don’t mind waiting in line because it’s an opportunity to chat with people. I am highly social but for some who may not even struggle with social anxieties, they would prefer to remain in their car at the drive-through.

 I may be unusual in this matter. I even ring the bell for the Salvation Army during the busy Christmas season just so that I could chat with people, even if it’s just for a brief moment. Like anyone, I have my moments when I too can be over-scheduled. There are times when I just need a break from talking to people. Yet, like most, I too have a longing for the personal interactions of people.

Today, I want to encourage us to go outside and get together with others as much as possible. A parallel can be draw from research on seasonal depression. I think it’s sort of like those that deal with depression in the cloudy, gloomy season of winter, due to the lack of sunshine and vitamin deficiencies.

The sunshine can counter the effects of depression. I was one of those who struggled with depression during the winter months. Yet, I came to realize that I can’t do anything about the weather but I can control my social interactions. I actually compensate for the lack of sunshine with the drug of human interaction, increasing my social aptitude and engaging connection, building relationships with others.

Increasing one’s social aptitude can be counterintuitive but I encourage you to give it a try. Here are a few things that I did that you may also want to try, especially during the holiday seasons that occur during the winter months.

1. Go to parties (even if you’re not invited).
2. Volunteer your time at a community event or local Homeless Mission that serves the poor.
3. Go shopping ... for someone else.
4. Visit someone is the hospital or retirement community (Nursing home).

There are many ideas out there that you could do similar to these that I have stated. The idea is to think of others. The more that we consider our needs above the needs of others, the greater likelihood that we will become negative as well as self-centered, looking internally to solve our own concerns. As we think of others we will recognize how much greater other people‘s needs are and actually feel good and ourselves for helping someone else.

Through simple acts of kindness we can fill the longing in our heart for the personal not only during Christmas but throughout the year.

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” - Aesop