Many weekends we have our grand-kids overnight and we enjoy going to some of our favorite places and share some favorite experiences. Saturday mornings we usually go for breakfast at a local restaurant named Richard’s. Our waitress, Nancy usually knows what we want as we walk into the door. Recently our grand-kids have decided that they want to give the restaurant a new name and give our waitress a nickname. They watch a cartoon called, "Fancy Nancy". This has prompted them to call our waitress by her new name and the restaurant name is now, "Fancy Nancy’s" restaurant.
These and other events are wonderful memories that we hope our grand-kids will keep with them for a long time to come. We started out just wanting to help our grandchildren develop their social aptitude. They used to be shy, especially Jase. These activities helped them to become friendly and now they talk to almost anyone wherever we go. I suppose our next lesson will have to be on setting boundaries because they love to talk.
Kids teach us many things. You know this if you’re a guardian, parent or grandparent. Kids have a way of turning the table on the lessons that we promote. Often, as our grand-kids grow they begin to tell us the difference between right and wrong and remind us of other lessons they have learned.
Our grand-kids are learning like so many other kids the values we hold. We have tried to impress as many lessons as we can but many times they will turn those lessons around on us. Once Ellie told me that I wasn’t listening very well and simply said, "Papaw, you said we should listen. I am talking to you."
The following are a few things that our grand-kids have taught us as we have made every attempt to instill values on them. I truly believe that as you train up a child they will not depart from it even into their adult life.
1. Honesty. (Kids say the darnedest things.)
We’ve often instruct our kids that honesty is always the best policy. They are usually very honest in what they say, and what they repeat hearing us say. Children don’t need to be taught how to lie because it seems as if it is just part of the human nature. As wonderful and delightful as they are we have discovered this far too often. We work hard at helping them to be honest. In the midst of that process sometimes the words and the correction that we share echoes back into our own lives.
I love to tease and tell stories and once Ellie told me that I should tell the truth. Of course, I often tease others and she is finding it hard to know the difference between kidding and being honest. She learns by watching me and I think I need to be a better example. I have learned that integrity is spelled with two eyes!
2. Play. (Crayons & games.)
Seemingly every restaurant has the activity book and crayons to help keep the kids interested. I’ve often learn to play many rounds of connect the dots and Tic-Tac-Toe. How often it is that as we age we also become more serious about work but kids help us to be lighthearted and to enjoy play.
Kids learn to play which teaches them to share, take turns, and keep the rules so that the game fun and fair. These lessons help children to develop healthy understandings of fairness and helpfulness. I am learning that play is just as important as work.
3. Dependence. (Being safe.)
As a parent you can usually see with a different perspective and even the hidden dangers that children often forget. Walking through the parking lot you’re always mindful of the dangers. Meeting strangers is another example of how important it is that your children learn to be careful. Once Jase and Ellie were out on a walk with me and Jase started to cross the street without looking. A truck was nearing our location which caused me to quickly snatch his arm and pull him safely back. It broke Jase’s heart because he didn’t see the danger but only experience my reaction to danger. I tried to explain but all I really could do was hold him and assure him of my love and protective embrace.
I am all too often very independent and self-reliant. There are times when God has to pull me to safety and causing me to question Him. In my independence I try to "go it alone." I am learning that as a child of God I need to depend more on God and not as self-sufficient which sounds a lot like the word selfish.
4. Manners. (Be kind and consider others.)
Whether it’s helping children to say things politely or have polite actions, learning manners is a very important social skill. Teaching manners isn’t easy when kids want to have fun, especially when there are two of them competing to get attention. They are naturally self-oriented. Their needs or wants are important and they feel they should come first.
I remember one experience when we took our son Jon with us to a restaurant. It was one of the few times we ate out in a restaurant. He was around three or four years of age. We kept trying to get him to eat his meal but he just wanted to look at everyone around the restaurant. He would try to get their attention. He kept pointing and saying, "People, people." So we told him, "We’re people too!" To our surprise he replied with a look of confusion saying, "You not people!" What I learned that day was the importance of why we teach manners. It has less to do with my behavior and more to do with being courteous to others. Helping children learn proper manners also includes teaching them how to give and care for others. Manners go beyond being polite but modeled after Christ, it teaches others how to love.
5. New experiences are scary. (Learning to trust.)
Every day there are new adventures for our grand-kids. There are so many opportunities to learn and grow. In many cases our grand-kids are adventurous but there are those new experiences that can feel intimidating and scary. Our kids often back away because of fear but we try to help them to trust and to take a risk whether it’s meeting new people or doing new things. Certain fears are healthy like the fear of heights or the fear for your personal safety.
There are far more exciting things that our grand-kids need not be afraid of. They are learning that it’s okay to give a hug to an elderly person or to talk with someone who may be a stranger to them but our friend. As many times as we try to teach them we received just as many reminders to ourselves that new experiences are scary but we can learn to trust. I have also learned from them that the things we fear the most may actually not be frightening after all. Trying new things can be healthy and dispel the FALSE EVIDENCE that APPEARS REAL; making us FEAR what isn’t real.
The Bible has much to say about raising children and perhaps the biggest lesson that could be gained is what Jesus said to a religious leader. He may have even thought that he knew enough as a religious leader yet Nicodemus was reminded that he must receive Jesus as a little child.
John 3:3 -- "Jesus replied, ‘I tell you the truth, unless you are born again, you cannot see the Kingdom of God.’"
That too is the lesson for us. We must receive the Kingdom of God as a little child because, as we grow older we forget the simple things and the innocence of our youth.
