Giving Yourself Permission To....

I recently was in a seminar as a friend of mine shared about the importance of grieving loss. It was with a group of pastors when Mike shared that it’s okay to give yourself permission to grieve.

It struck me, in my travels, I come across many pastors in which I hear of their hardships and difficulties. Pastoring today is a very lonely occupation. I hear Pastors tell me that they don’t know who they can share their toughest heart-aches with. They wonder who they can trust to be vulnerable with.

When my friend shared that you need to give yourself permission to grieve it hit me. That it is a message I need to deliver to Pastors. I am in contact with them on a daily basis. Often pastors talk about the grief of others and they may even encourage people in their grief but perhaps they are hardest on themselves. Too often they do not give themselves permission to grieve disappointments or loss in their lives.

We read all throughout Scripture of the importance of going to the Lord in prayer as well as how important it is to have someone close with whom to share your honest and transparent hardships and heartaches. Psalms 34:18 reads; “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

Perhaps it’s the profession of the Clergy (which is a vocational Calling) and maybe even the fact that it is predominantly a male dominated profession (though I don’t believe this is limited to only men) but all of us must come to a place when we need to ask for help in a safe space; sharing about those most intimate concerns that weigh heavy upon clergy.

What is it today that weighs heaviest on you? Who do you have that you can trust to share your most difficult and heartbreaking concerns? Have you given yourself permission to grieve?

The following are a few verses you may want to consider as you think about this particular topic while at the same time giving yourself permission to grieve.

Ready For (The Right) Action.

Ready? Set? WAIT! Sound like something you have heard before? Does this sound typical? Most of our lives are lived in a “hurry up, wait” mode. We rush to get ahead only to be stopped or slowed by unexpected detours and road blocks.

I traveled over 50,000 miles last year on behalf of my ministry. I have sighed and zagged across Indiana to meet expectations and goals, appointments and gatherings. I know all-to-well the unexpected detours. I have driven around road blocks and encountered detours that have set my travel plans and schedule back. I usually know to buffer my travel itinerary in such cases that I may find my way closed ahead. 

Isn’t it frustrating? We often feel that any road construction a waste of time. You have been there too?

The Word of God brings clarity in your Calling and role. In Christ there is light that brings vision but darkness breeds confusion and fear! 

I am reminded of the many times I have prayed only to have delays or a change of plans sign redirecting MY route. I can write a book on all the times that I sought God in pray only to TELL HIM what I want. I have learned that I need to really seek His Will for my life, which begins by listening and learning. 

It is often so true that my ways are not His Ways. I am reminded that until I align my plans with God’s plans that I come up short. 

Waiting is a key strategy in knowing what God has in-store for our lives. Psalms 130:5-6 reminds us; “I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in His word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning.” (ESV)

To often, we waste the detours and delays in our lives. Too often we rush past what we need to know before we move forward. Too often, we drop out of life (parking along the road) because of the uncertainty of obstacles.

Taking the right action requires taking time to see the detours, road-blocks, and dead-ends as opportunities. Recently I was able to see the NEOWISE COMET (pictured on July 13, 2020). This is a reminder for me. In the midst of darkness, the clarity of seeing the Comet reminds me to look for clarity that can inspire you. For me, this is Jesus and my faith in Christ. Like a shining light, though rarely seen, provides a focus point! 

You can take time right now to make a list of the times you feel like obstacles are setting you back. As you make the list, list what your options and choices are. From this second list, how will you next choice bring clarity to your purpose for living.

Reaping a Harvest

Matthew 28:19 reads, Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.”

The story is told of a farmer who went out to plant his fields. He was approached by a young boy. Inquisitive, the boy asked the farmer about the seed that fell to the ground. He asked, “What will this become?“ The farmer smiled gently and said softly to the boy, “Within this one seed is a harvest that is plentiful for many. As this seed grows and as we tend to the weeds that will also grow we can feed not just one person but many.”

Similarly, our lives, reap a harvest that will not only produce another seed but a rich harvest as we tend to the weeds and  cultivation of the soil in our spiritual lives. We have heard it said that you reap what you sow. That is not only true in our own lives but in the lives of others.

The scripture compels us to go and tell others. It is in those efforts that we are planting seeds that will grow a harvest for God’s glory. It is in our investment and care for others that people come to faith through Jesus Christ.

Who is one person that you can prayerfully invest in, telling them about your faith in Christ? Take just a moment now to pray and then plan to cultivate, toil, plant, and reap a harvest for God’s Glory.

Finding Center In Far Left/Alt-Right Worldviews.

Where do we find balance? Whether is our personal matters, politics, social causes, and faith, we all find ourselves in a difference place; balance is a challenge for all of us. How do we decide what is right and what are universal values that bring us harmony today?

Today, the biggest challenge is finding truth and applying our choices to what is the right way to live and love. We live is a very diverse world, both secular and religious. It is a complex set of ideas that can leave anyone bewildered. Even the most educated and respectful people can wrestle to know how their ideas and responses to other ideas impact our neighbors and community. 

Today we live is a society of extremes. The more active we engage the issues the more we are expected to comply to standards that are often leading down an unreasonable set of values. Without naming names, I think that anyone of us can see how much conflict there is in our social norms. Unless we become extreme we may feel the shame of not conforming. A new type of social pressure is building and the tension is to a breaking point. 

You and I are being pressured to take a stand on detailed expectations. Reason and debate seems to be tossed out. While expected to listen more intently, we are pressured to decide and become an activist. 

How do we engage in the hot topics of the day? Who can we learn about topics through critical thinking and not be criticized for not being expected to conform or become an activist? How can we advocate for social issues while not being restricted or pushed to comply to legalistic activities?

Take a moment to reflect on these questions. Take time to reflect on hot topics before posting a public opinion as if our belief will summarize the topic and conclude the debate in 144 tweet-able expressions. Rather than take a defensive posture for things that are said to you or things that you may disagree with, stop and be silent to pray for God’s direction before responding. “Patience can persuade a prince and soft speech can break bones.” (Proverbs 25:15)

Today, my intent to ask everyone to hold their thoughts and reflect on your response through a filter of humility and critical thinking. Today, we need to be thoughtful. 

In the age of far left and alt-right, it is really hard to find balance and provide a centrist persuasion. Reason is seemingly thrown out in exchange for emotionalism. While we are told certain facts, seldom do we have enough depth in the debate to for a healthy opinion. Most of us, including me, are not experts on many subjects. We follow slogans and catchy phrases. We read headlines but know few people who are impacted in real-time. Even if we can point to personal experiences, we thrive on personal painful examples that often do not mirror the actual context of any example. 

So, today, I invite you to process differently. I encourage all of us to not become "arm chair quarterbacks." That is, forming public opinion because of what was captured in video. We, all-to-often can be tempted react through a social media "like", "Retweet", "share", or even "mimic" what we see without really using critical inquiry. 

For me, listening and loving are still the standard that make the most sense. As we understand how to listen, really listen and learn to really love, as Christ loved and instructed us to love our neighbor as ourselves. The best rule is to activate the "Golden Rule" as found in the book of Deuteronomy and the words of Jesus. 

Can I encourage all of us to ask questions and to also walk alongside others so that we may gain a depth of understanding? What might happen if we look for Truth through God’s Word beginning with an ethic of love as God loves us? 

Too often we allow fear to dictate our actions and our feelings. It’s so important to need through inquiry and not through an inquest. It starts by listening. Nelson Mandela has approved, time and time again how valuable his wisdom is, even in today’s society as we wrestle through conflict. He wants wrote, “May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”

Perhaps finding balance is to gain understanding truth with grace. I believe that at the foot of the cross the ground is level. We all come to God through Jesus Christ equally given grace, hope, and charity (Love) of Grace. How can we offer any less to others we encounter? 

What scriptures are your favorites that offer you hope? How can our response to pain and loss that others feel? How can our response to social injustice be hope-filled? How do we engage in the needs of others that promotes prayer, grace, hope, and transforming love in Christ; as we represent Jesus incarnate? 

As we make every effort to live a Christ-centered life, we are commanded to love one another and to love our enemies. It does not mean that we compromise our position and most especially our values, but it does mean that we make every effort to be people of peace. If winning the argument is your goal, it’s best not to engage but if your goal is to demonstrate God’s love and grace, and give testimony of God’s grace in your life than it’s worth pursuing a healthy discussion. 

My friend once remind me on a social media post how important it is to win the human race, instead of the political race. 

A (Not-so-new) Kind of Social Politeness!

Take your shoes off at the door. Stand back a little and give me space. Wait until the person has spoken before sharing your opinion. Don't drink and drive. Always wash your hands. No elbows on the table during dinner. Wait until everyone has been served before eating. 

These and many other phrases are often understood as being socially polite. They are a part of the very culture of a society or social group. These, often unwritten rules are a part of the very fabric of a healthy community. As long as we honor principles of polite manners and social norms, we show the value of others.

Today, we live in a complex society. Western society, by in large, have shaped rules of engagement and social order in a common language that is passed on from one generation to the other. It is what we teach our children. It is what we learn in kindergarten. These are a sort of code language that expresses value and establishes trust. If we break simple polite manners we are usually corrected and reminded. 

Yet, today we are seeing order and "a way of life" challenged. We are seeing excessive force and those in authority violate our desired way of life. We are seeing peaceful protest to call attention of injustice turn into a display of an angry mob, even looting and destruction of property. We are seeing that reciprocity as meaningless and chaos become the new order. We are witnessing the emergence of new social politeness. 

Another example is how we are seeing more people wear mask as a result of the Corona Virus. Many are increasingly concerned and other could care less.  I speak to pastor all the time and know of their ministry hardships. Pastors are telling me that as they begin to come together and attend church in person that there are those that are the mask-wearers and those that are in the non-mask people. Some have even told me that the one group is fighting and threatening the other to wear or not wear a mask. People even threaten to never come back to church until everyone is wearing the mask and ironically, so too the non-mask people. 

It is so challenging today to know how to respond to such extreme views. You may be judged harshly no matter what you do.

I think that there is a (not-so-new) kind of social politeness that is emerging. I am seeing more-and-more a social shaming on those that do not comply to their form of order.  I am seeing more-and-more people getting angry because of what they see as right. Today, we are even seeing many flex a mussel for a demonstration of "their rights".  These issues will not be settled soon or easily. 

I want to offer another (not-so-new) idea about how to expand the conversation, calling for harmony (that does not mean uniformity). Like in a choir or orchestra, the many diverse instruments and voices can create a beautiful harmony. While occasionally dissonance (the clashing of sounds) can be part of the musical melody, it is the harmony that we expect and we are left feeling uneasy if we are left with clashing symbols. 

Jesus reinforces the Biblical understanding of reciprocity. We know that all of society needs this to effectively manage conflict. The secular view of this is to do to others as they do to you. A kind of believe that simply means, "an eye for an eye". A kind of do unto others as they do to you. 

However, Jesus also went deeper as we see more clearly in the New Testament. He was challenged to state which of the 10 Commandments was the greatest. He was often placed in awkward conversations. A form of dissonance. What he responded is a not-so-new idea when He responded that the greatest are the two that is to "Love the Lord your God and to love your neighbor as yourself". This is a not-so-new kind of social politeness.  It is what we call the golden rule. We read elsewhere in the New Testament that we should "do unto others as we would like done to us."  It is a step beyond a kind of social politeness. 

Today, we see how road-rage is likened to the first and basic kind of community. It is a reciprocating of what has been done to us. We call this self-justified vindication. In the Old Testament there were cities of refuge that were places that the accused can go to for a judgement of the crime and punishment. This has developed in Western societies as our court systems and the making of laws. The understanding of "innocent until proven guilty" has always stood the test of time. 

I remember first learning in a high school business ethics class that the symbol of the Lady of Justice stood as a beacon of these ideals. She stands with a scale of justice to represent fair and equality. She also is blindfolded so that her bias is blinded. Today we see challenges to injustice but we need to look to the highest ideal, The Golden Rule. 

In the age of instant justice, by way of social media and live video, we are all becoming self-justified vigilantes. We act self-righteous and act on pure emotion without due process and consideration of the rule of law. 

I caution our society to a not-so-new kind of social politeness. Yes, it take more time and thought. Indeed it means listening. Of course it means pushing for change in healthy and fair ways. Freedom is not self-righteous living, it is taking responsibility for the change that begins at home. In fact, in writing this article I understand that I too may have offer bias persuasion. Yet, I believe that revisiting the Golden Rule can and should help us resolve matters of conflict, if we truly love one another in community. Am I naive? 

Perhaps a bit of a pie in the sky with rose colored glasses but I am certain that as we want for good for ourselves and act in love toward our neighbor, we can get a little closer to the highest ideal of man - to the Glory of God. 

My challenge: Take the next 7-days and live out the not-so-new social politeness. If your wearing a mask helps another to feel more comfortable, why not put it on?  Perhaps, if slowing down to let another pass you on the road prevents road rage, why not slow down? If taking your agenda and inviting others to help contribute can strengthen the outcome, why not listen more intently?

Not Just Black and White.

In recent days we have seen tragedy and an ever present expansion of even more devastation throughout our country. We live in unsettled times!  It is very clear, whoever you are, whether civilian or police officers, that the death of George Floyd was clearly a tragedy and a murder. 8 minutes in 46 seconds was the agonizing death of a man, described as a gentle giant. We all unite in wanting to see justice. Hate and despair are so boldly reflected in all we are seeing today!  

Our response should always be in consideration to others before yourself. The golden rule has never been more relevant than in our response to these current times! 

Many are making this a black and white issue but today my heart is stirred beyond compare. I believe that this goes beyond race. While it does include an incredible need for race relations and national repentance, this issue is not limited to just one race over another. This blog entry may be controversial but my intent today is to help spread love not hate. We need to find a place of harmony and offer hope to many who feel so much pain! 

Some may say that I have absolutely no business, as a white man, to even speak to this issue. It is very clear that I don’t fully understand everything there is in this occasion. These are complex topics that many have spent their entire lives trying to give understanding, provide wisdom, reconciliation, and hope in these dark days. One thing I do know is that the greatest majority of people are on the same side, calling for justice! What we witnessed in the death of George Floyd is an injustice! This underscores the significant tragedy and breakdown of society! Over the years we have seen incredibly difficult videos of civilians unfairly targeted and abused. Too many have died!

I believe that we cannot simply allow ourselves to reduce this matter down to simple explanations or call this just a black and white issue. I believe that it is incredibly complex. My purpose today is to just simply encourage us to love and not hate. I think that we can agree on the values that instill hope; that we can restore trust and goodwill to all. 

Every church in America should be outraged both on the injustice that is on display in so many tragic experiences. We also recognize that one injustice does not equal another injustice to go unchecked. Every church should speak to this issue and to call their people to a higher road of love and grace! I call on Pastors and church leaders to speak against injustice wherever it is apparent and to express love and grace. Similar we have seen that it is possible to show harmony as in the case of the news reports of police officers walking peacefully alongside protesters. It tells us that love and trust is possible!

Nowhere in scripture do we find a justification for the negative and hate-filled actions of a few police officers who are not representing their oath to serve and protect. Yet, nowhere do we find justification for the hostile rioting and carnage that followed. Many say that it is a way to get the public attention but I believe it is the wrong message that is being communicated. Winsome and peaceful protests should not turn into riots and carnage!  Our response should be that of unity that offers peace and love in an attempt to bring righteous indignation with hope-filled love and peace.

Not everyone will respond with a Christian attitude. We know that there are deep wounds that are not easily healed and when tragic events occur where there is abuse and death we see people reacting with fear and often hate is the emotion of anger we can expect. Yet, we are to consider and respond with love! 

Ephesians 4:29 reads; “Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.”

I am confident that light will push back darkness! I’m also certain that any that call this a black and white issue have not thought deeply enough. This is a human race issue not just one race or another. Although we see it on display every day! 

History, if history has taught us anything, it is racism both in the past and in the present we have faced injustice before! I am equally confident that we can overcome through goodness and mercy. Just a little more than 150 years ago we read about the injustice of the Native Americans, who through public policy were displaced and their citizenship revoked, thought they were, after all, the first nation!

Go deeper and we can see that the Chinese immigrants or any others who came to this country to seek hope and prosperity only to receive hate and indifference. Perhaps we could move beyond just a black and white issue to see the greater depth and range of conversation that we should have as we first must listen! My own childhood echoes with the pain and anguish of such hatred. Having grown up just south of Detroit, I can understand in-part because I have witnessed in-part racial tension. I recall the conversations years after the death of Martin Luther King known as the race riots. I know of the my earliest feelings of fear as news echoed the evening news reports of Detroit on fire every Halloween. I recall the tension that was evidenced by mistrust and bitterness. I saw racism firsthand. 

I remember my teen years. I went to a very diverse high school. One of the choirs that I joined was predominantly a group of black teens and I was the only white, blonde haired member of this all-male choir. I have to tell you that I gained a brotherhood relationship with my peers and witnessed my life transforming experience that developed a new tone in depth to my understanding.  I was accepted though not easily because I had to prove myself. Yet, overtime I was accepted and could contribute to the culture and community of this group. The largest difference of from me and my friends was not the color of our skin but the fact that I have no rhythm! 

In these very serious days we are challenged to look and respond during this time of crisis in a positive and encouraging way. We should stand alongside members of races that are different in order to find unity in their cause! 

I believe it’s so helpful for us to listen and learn before we do anything else. There is great healing as we listen. 

I love what Tony Dungy wrote recently on this issue:

“We have to be willing to speak the truth in love but we have to recognize that we are not fighting against other people. We are fighting against Satan and his kingdom of spiritual darkness.”

Love covers a multitude of sins; beginning with mine. 

5 Why’s Every Leader Must Ask.

Every leader, no matter who they are or whom they lead must ask themselves five questions beginning with the word way in order to gain good judgment. You may not feel like a leader but you are. Everyone has influence at some level. You may lead only a small group or are respected within a small group of people but nevertheless, you are a leader. You make decisions each and every day.

That’s why I am sharing this article today in hopes that every person giving some level of leader ship will consider reading and making application to this article. This approach is not new as you will see by this link but it is important nonetheless. Check out further information here.

Take for example a leader who is having to decide whether to bring their people back to the office or the assembly line. Perhaps it’s church leaders who are having to ask the questions necessary to re-assimilate their people into a public gathering for Sunday worship. Maybe it’s a parent who is trying to quickly decide when it’s appropriate for their teenager to leave the house during the days of this pandemic.

Leaders that can think clearly and quickly assess every situation can provide sound judgment and appropriate decision making qualities. Most leaders I believe are criticized not for their decision but often because of their indecision. People may want to be armchair quarterbacks, criticizing the decisions after they have been made but most criticisms that linger are those that are about leaders that waiver and their decision-making.

Leadership is about influence and the capacity to make decisions. A good leader must ask good questions. I believe these questions begin with the word why.  More and more are convinced that it’s the 5-why’s that we normally suspect but it is our ability to push through, with discipline hey series of questions related to each step along the way. Check out this video for clarity.

It is easy to ask the typical questions of, who, what, where, when but it is more difficult to ask the question why. I also want to suppose that it is the discipline of asking why that makes the biggest impact in healthy judgment. 

Depending on your leadership style, you may be autocratic or democratic in style, but, every good leader should be surrounded by good input and honest feedback. The Bible says that wisdom is generally accompanied by others. 

A great article from Bible Money Matters quotes: 

Proverbs 15:22 - Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. Proverbs 19:2 - Also it is not good for a person to be without knowledge, and he who hurries his footsteps errs. Proverbs 12:15 - The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. 

These five questions that you ask yourself begin with why. Each step in the process must be questioned. as you dive deeper into your objective or project, asking why is it significant part of the process. Asking these five questions encourage us to get to the root of solving the problem and then clearly articulating the objective.

Let me explain. Perhaps there is an objective that somebody raises about a process. Each time that you state an objective that delves  deeper into the final goal, ask yourself why is this important or why are we taking this step?  If you delve into the objective of project at the fifth level, this is when you get to the core of the motivation and clear objective. 

We see that during the days of the pandemic that there are certain questions raised about when and how groups should gather during this pandemic. Churches are meeting the subjective in very different ways based on their local circumstances but as committees begin to dialogue about the objectives, it is important that each step is questioned beginning with the word why. It may sound annoying but as you answer why with each step you ultimately will be able to find objective reason and clear motive for the outcome. 

Another way to look at it is that as you are trying to decide on a particular step, ask yourself why is this important? You may also ask the question of why are we taking this step? Each question that meets with the objective helps you to bring clarity to your purpose and evaluate the objective against your mission.

Here are a few relevant questions beginning with why:

Why is this important?

Why do we need to have this approach?

Why do we feel that this is a good or bad decision?

Why do we not have everyone’s consent to move forward?

Why do we need to take this action at this time?

There are many more questions to begin with why in my encouragement is for you to delve into each level to at least ask yourself five relevant questions that begin with why at each step.

ZOOM - Word for 2020 and Our Longing for Relationship!

It is not even June yet and the word ZOOM has already been identified as the top word search for 2020. It is not just a software that connects millions over video but it is also an expression of our deepest need. That is our need for relationship.

Zoom is simply defined as adjusting the lens of a camera. It is what the founder, Eric Yuan called his revolutionary technology, ZOOM, that is now popularized as the most often used word for 2020. It has forever changed how we conduct business and build relationships in the days of the Pandemic.

I recently read an article published by NewStatement that reads, in-part, that also created perhaps the second most often used word as a warning to its users, "ZOOMbombings". The author writes, "uninvited users crashing meetings or parties, and sometimes sharing violent and pornographic imagery."  It is an incredible reminder that the internet is filled with both good and evil. I will save the word "ZOOMbombing" for another article but for now, I want to write about our need for relationships.

One interesting side-note. I was able to recently watch a ZOOM LIVE presentation with the owner and tops executives of the ZOOM corporation. It was so interesting to eavesdrop in on their discussion. They talked about their corporate plan that included being ready to engage and sign up the product for those working from home. They projected that as many as 50 percent of all office use would be working from home by 2033. They laughed as they had to accelerate their plans quickly since the pandemic sent 100 percent of the work force to a virtual stay-at-home office in a matter of days. Yikes!  I can't even imagine how they were able to handle that demand.

The top corporate leader who governed the roll-out of ZOOM in the United Kingdom was asked the most interesting question that caught my attention. They laughed as they asked, "How did it go with the Queen of England using ZOOM to celebrated her 94th birthday. With a bit of slap-happy humor he responded, "Well, all I was concerned about was making sure that the computer server that transmitted her ZOOM call didn't fail."  Someone commented, "Did she use a free version of the software or did she pay for it?"  It was remarkable, they added, as soon as the media broke the news  that over 100,000 new users were signed up in just a few minutes of her using ZOOM. Talk about influence!

We all need relationships. We exist to have connections. Just look at the growth of social media platforms. They are all growing exponentially every day!  People want to have followers and likes and viewers. We all look to see how may friends we have virtually. While few are not connected in this way, most yearn for some level of social capital that gains attention with every post.

We are living in a new day. We are all using forms of social media that is both alarming and concerning. We live our lives in front of a camera and screen. We are especially seeing this growth in good and not-so-good ways. This reality is undeniable. We long for relationships.  Superficial or intimate, we look for ways to relate to others and be heard.

In a recent research article by Dave Chaffey, we find that the incredible growth of social media has "transformed marketing" as Chaffey explains:

"Social media users are now spending an average of 2 hours and 24 minutes per day multinetworking across an average of 8 social networks and messaging apps."

I am certain that this stat is has been eclipsed by the stay-at-home orders we now realize during these global pandemic days in recent weeks. Never-the-less, it is clear, these are changing times and the use of such media far surpasses our understanding. The article continues to remind us that this rapid-growth phenomenon is going to mean that we cannot ignore its influence or expectation of how we are to respond. This being said, the non-profit and for profit industries have to adapt. Why?  It is because we are wired around relationships.

For me, it think that this comes down to our desire to be notices, heard, validated, and in relationship with others. We are simply seeing a response to our need to be in relationship.

Therefore, I recommend that the church respond to this incredible opportunity to communicate in ways we have never fully realized. Since the days of the pandemic the church has been forced to respond and go online. We have seen rural and city churches race to get their services online. I contend that the church MUST remain in the space of online use for this point forward. We must be ahead of the curve on this one!  We must do more than just have a Facebook page. We must to more than have a 30-45 minute message to deliver. We must recognize the incredible opportunity to grow and adapt to this new way of doing ministry and deliver church.

I think that it comes down to relationship. I think that we must find ways to listen and respond to this complex need through simple solutions. I recommend that pastors and leaders of ministries figure out how to communicate their cause and central mission in a way that both engages and communicates effectively in this age of social media. I call this growing our social capital in an age of social media and expansive internet usage.

Yet, in this age to race to the world of the internet in search of the social media frenzy, we should not forget that people are ultimately wired as social creatures. We are human beings with a need to be heard and to hear others. We need to understand the complex in simple terms and to respond to this need by being real and genuine in our interactions over social media. It is more that just asking people to join the conversation online but it about finding ways to engage and connect with people. It is about listening and being willing to serve. It is about going back to the basics where we simply discover a new normal that is inclusive of meeting genuinely and with a heart for ministry to people.

During these last 50-plus days of the stay-at-home orders and the seemingly increased risk during this pandemic, I have have held over fifty ZOOM video calls with pastors and met with many more as I have attended ministerial meetings and conferencing events including one I was excited to host over Facebook LIVE during the National Day of Prayer.

I like the old notion of being neighborly yet using social media to not just talk about our agenda but moreover to share inspiring posts and messaging with intentional efforts to care about people no matter who they are or where they are coming from. I think that we can all take application to what Paul was saying as he wrote, "But now in Jesus you who once were FAR OFF have been BROUGHT NEAR by the blood of Christ." (Ephesians 2:13 - ESV)  I think that God knows how important it is to be in relationship with others and feel connected. Once we were far away and now we have been brought near is the heart-felt need we all have.

After all, isn't it about being brought near and all the more being brought near in Christ Jesus? Point to ponder.

Three Questions After Being Quarantined.

So much has been written about the Corona Virus (a.k.a. COVID19) that you may be getting tired of yet another article on this subject. Hold up before you change the channel. This article is not exactly about the virus. It is about what to do after being quarantined.

Yes, there will be a tomorrow. Life will get back to normal (whatever that is) eventually.

I want to challenge you to consider three questions before resuming your normal life.  These questions have preoccupied my mind since having to be quarantined. I have lived out my daily life doing my job albeit from a stay-at-home order in fear of spreading the virus to vulnerable populations. We have all learned new polite habits of social distancing and many have limited their exposure yet making essential trips to grocery stores. We all have learned to depend on technology to connect with co-workers and complete our tasks as assigned.

Yet, during these times, we need to ask three basic questions before proceeding with life as usual. Let me explain and challenge you to take inventory of your answers to these three questions.

1. Ask Why?  Before proceeding further to your life as it once was, ask yourself the purpose question of why?  That is, ask what the purpose is for what you do and what values you are pursuing.

This question is important because it means thinking through the what you will do by deciding why you do what you do.  We all have been forever changed. We cannot simply pick up where we left off before being asked to shelter-in-place. We cannot simply pick up where we last were. It is not like reading a good book and after laying it aside we simply start reading where we left the bookmark. We have to ask why?  Take note on your answers to all those things you once did but start with why.

2. Ask Why Not? Before you go any further you may miss-out on some of the essentials. You might want to do something but you feel that it can't be done than ask why not? 

Make a list of all the things and people service that you want to do but feel limited. Somehow you may feel that you cannot accomplish something but what are the barriers to getting to it? As you search for solutions to the barriers and the limitations you will find great hope in the potential outcomes.

This may require an example. I meet with people all day, every day. My role is to connect people and ministries to the importance of foster care. I set up appointments and make cold calls all day long. It is my passion. I love to see children in healthy homes. I love to see people connected to ministry to the least and most vulnerable of our communities. I have a passion to shed light on the many hidden injustices that I know people what to solve.  However, since my current situation means that I cannot speak to churches or groups of people and that I cannot travel to meet with leaders or network with groups, I may feel isolated and restricted. Yes, this is how I felt early on in this social distancing response to the pandemic.

However, I has to ask myself, why not?  I had to find out what the obstacles where and how to overcome them. I was forced to think outside the box. I was forced to explore possibilities and look passed the barriers. I had to implement technology into my way of doing business. I had to find a better use of email and other forms of social capital to accomplish my role. I also had to learn how to have effective home office environment. I had to be efficient and productive. I had to overcome any fear of failure and learn to serve the needs of others. These were going to be my way of overcoming problems.

It is also in life, on a normal day that I have to ask, why not? I cannot just make excuses for what I can't do something. I have to adapt. I have to find a new path. I have to solve the problems one-by-one and with each little decision I was able to accomplish the bigger needs and problems.

If you are at a place where you feel controlled by the environment or your given situation is not ideal, ask yourself, why not?

3. Ask Why Not Now? This is a when question, not a what or how questions. Before you do anything else, it is here that you ask the question of when! 

Asking why not now means thinking of the impact you can have in real time. If something is important for you to do when your return to normal, it is important to you act on that now! If seeing your friends or starting that new project is important to you when you get back to normal and you can't wait to get to it after the quarantine, it is important enough to act on it now.

The problem with dreams is that we wait until we wake up to act. If you are like me you day-dream all day long. Sometimes I find myself thinking about a solution to a problem that hasn't even happened yet. I am always thinking unnecessarily.  In other words, I am always trying to solve a problem that has not even happened yet. That is what most creative thinkers do but it drives practical people crazy.

These three questions are not just good for the quarantine. It is also good to think strategically about life, work, family, and projects.  It is also necessary to remove any potential barriers that often keep us from doing what we know we should be doing. It is also important to act on our ideas in real time. These three questions will inform our outcomes! 

The Bible is clear on these three questions.

Hebrews 11:1 -- Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not yet seen.
Philippians 3:14 -- I press on toward the goal to win the prize which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:13 -- I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength. 

Doing The Most Good: A Time To Re-Evaluate Your Activities.

In recent years I have adding more and more to my set of goals and activities. In my mind I believed that the more that I that I do equals accomplishments. It makes sense, doesn’t it? My accomplishments should equal as much as my activity demonstrates. Yet, I’m learning that busyness does not equal accomplishments. These are tough lessons to learn.

As I write this blog we are in the midst of a stay-at-home order by our governor because of the #coronavirus. We see the many news updates and follow the hashtags related. #COVID19 #stay-at-home, and this list goes on. All of our activities are reduced to what we can do at home unless our activities are essential. Often I would pack my schedule with as many opportunities as I can, believing that busyness equals results but this has become a new challenge for me.

It is a new reality for those that are non-essential workers. All of my activities feel essential. Yet, I am having to re-evaluate what I do to accomplish my goals. I am limited because of these new rules that limit my face-to-face meetings and my need to drive across the state for meetings. Recently, my appointments have canceled. It’s a new paradigm for how I typically interact with others. It is a new day for measuring my  progress.

Of course we all want to accomplish as much as we can and do the most good. Nevertheless we are learning how to reevaluate our activities. We quickly discover how much time we spend in non-essential activities.

It’s time to establish the right set of values personally but also our professionally. We often forget to ask the question of why we do what we do. Since the threat of the coronavirus pandemic it is a time to re-evaluate what is really important. It is time to discover how we can do the most good in these challenging times. Each of our activities must be essential, intentional and purposeful.

The role I serve in my organization is to connect and build relationships in order to help kids in hard places. Foster Care as ministry is what defines our why we exist Since there is the need for social distancing and limited travel, I am having to find new ways of engaging people. Thankfully there are many different avenues in today’s technological age. I have personally found a Zoom (a video chat technology) to be a great resource but there is also social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram. We have many other resources at our disposal including, to the surprise of many, the telephone!

We are encouraged to stay connected and to check in on those at-risk of becoming sick. Just the other day I placed a phone call to a senior who has a compromised respiratory condition to simply encourage her and let her know that she has been prayed for and thought of. I even asked her if there’s anything I could do for her. Just the other day I placed a phone call to a senior who has a compromised respiratory condition to simply encourage her and let her know that she has been prayed for and thought of. I even asked her if there’s anything I could do for her. It was such an easy form of ministry! even as our weekly Bible study group has gone to a video chat platform we raise concerns about those who could not join with us and made commitments to reach out to them.

I believe that we can definitely make a significant difference, doing the most good in the lives of others as we find new ways to connect. Our busy activities, the non-essential and essential, keep us from doing what is most productive. we could become so distracted that we forget what is our primary purpose in our personal lives but also our professional work.

The scripture reminds us to commit our actions to the Lord. It’s this simple understanding that as we look to the Lord, our actions can succeed. Perhaps that’s where we have to begin, not by what we want to accomplish but by what God calls us to value most.

This season of time when we are forced to reevaluate our activities we should also reevaluate what’s truly important and which values we hold most essential in our lives. It’s during the season of time that we can even better define our purpose, that is the reason why we get up in the morning. We can start by asking ourselves several basic questions and reevaluate what we hold most valuable.

1. Write a simple sentence that answers the question of why: Why do I exist? Why is this important? Why do I get up in the morning?

2. What are the top three values that you hold as most essential? Is it your life? Is it the things you own? Is it the people in your life?

3. Write out your mission statement for your personal life.

For me, it begins with Philippians 1:6 that has been a tremendous passage of scripture and my life verse that reads: “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.“ Furthermore, my reason for existing is to carry out God‘s ministry and Calling to help others to know their value! I am self-motivated & relational, pioneering ventures that connect people to their strengths & passion.

4. Listing your priorities based on you mission statement and your top three values can help in discovering the essential activities. These will keep your priorities before you!

As you discover how to make the most of every opportunity and figure out how you can be doing the most good, you should reevaluate your activities and prioritize your set of goals so that you are in alignment with your purpose in life in your personal as well as professional life.

A New Set of Rules

A new set of conditions are being imposed on us as we are engaged in the response to #Covid19 (yes, the hashtag is intentional). We are faced with a new set of rules on how we interact with others. New terms have been introduced to us like, Social Distancing. Many are under stay-at-home mandates unless for essential purposes.

Yet, it must be understood that we have the same God. He is in control and this is not a surprise to Him. God is the same as he has always been. Each and every day we discover something new in the midst of challenging times. I know for me, I’ve had to make changes to my schedule and these days are so very different than some challenges I have faced in the past.

We all have to make changes in our activities and we continue to learn as God is leading. We must learn to adapt to changes. Recently in the state of Indiana it is illegal now to hold a cell phone while driving. That will change how people drive, and for those who work from the mobile office it will mean additional challenges. I use earbuds for my iPhone in order to make and receive phone calls. I travel across the state using electronic maps to guide me. I have to work smarter these days. All that to say that I have learned to adapt.

Today my thoughts are on the eve of taking a few days off from my travels and setting aside my cell phone as part of the new set is rules being imposed. The coronavirus has changed how all of us go about our daily activities. We live in very unusual days where fear and uncertainty seem to occupy our country. Whatever we are not able to control our future, we tend to become complainers and grow uneasy.

Today, I want to remind myself, as well as you that our God is the same as He has always been. None of these events are a surprise to Him. 

Given the circumstances of the #coronavirus (hashtag and all) we have all have to make changes to our routines. Hopefully we have become more compassionate people as well. We hope that our concern and ununcertainty will become transformed into a concern for others and a certainty in God, through Christ Jesus.

I am reminded that the scripture tells us at no matter our circumstances or whatever trial we may be faced with that God is still in control. Whether I’m reading in the book that Peter wrote or he indicated a confidence in God saying that we could cast all of our cares on Him because He cares for us. Even as I browse the book of Philippians I find an optimism in Paul’s writings that even though he was in chains and imprisoned Paul states that the gospel is not in chains. Reading the words of Jesus, the red letters of the Bible, I find that God‘s kingdom is always advancing, even though I don’t fully understand things this side of heaven. I read in the Old Testament how the prophets spoke of days like this and called people to repentance, to turn to the Lord for strength.

During these times, the church is discovering new ways to provide ministry. It is finding new avenues to being together in worship. It is a looking to new ideas for how to be in the community, not just a church behind closed doors.

Take time to not only be in prayer and the reading of God‘s Word but also read relevant books and articles that keep us alert and aware during these unusual days. Limit your social media because it can become a distraction but be intentional as you post encouraging messages and even sending private messages to friends and family.

Recently our team at White’s Residential and Family Services has had to deploy a new method for engaging churches since so many pastors and others are no longer meeting face-to-face. Instead, we have decided to pray for pastors and ministry leaders and then to send them a message of hope through email and even other social media platforms. 

These are things we all can do to maintain a connection with others. We can have a ministry of love without even leaving our homes. Picking up the phone and communicating with others makes a powerful difference. Let’s be bearers of the Good News of Jesus Christ and share the Hope we have in Him.

God’s Will: Prayer is the Alignment of My Will with God’s Way.

The majority of people of faith concern themselves with knowing God‘s Will for their lives. Christians are faced with this question at all ages of their lives. Too often it is the all or nothing proposition that people entertain. We wrestle with big questions like; What if we miss God’s call because we didn’t choose carefully enough? Is it possible to miss God’s call and fall outside of His Will and blessings?

Today I want to tackle a few of those questions but I want to tackle it from the perspective of prayer. Prayer is central to people of faith. Often people pray specific prayers for specific needs rather than more general concerns? I often hear people ask for prayer for purely selfish needs. It is as if they see God as a form of Santa Clause. Sometimes people might even pray for things they want rather than discover what is God’s plan for their needs.

I often have told people in my prison ministries that they should be careful about what they pray for because they just might have their prayers answered. Yet, it may not be the best. What I mean by that is that often we all can pray about what we want rather than what we need and become preoccupied with self-centered approach to prayer rather than discovering what God has for us.

I remember one man coming to my class in prison one day and shared that he prayed that he would win the lottery. He stated that he did win $100,000 but it was the worst thing that ever happened to him. He began to party and ended up with an addiction and after all of his friends abandon him and all of his money was gone, he was left alone and with a serious addiction. In order to support his addiction to begin to steal and consequently was arrested and that’s why he was in prison.

I’ll never forget that because I think that it is often what we turn to God and pray for. We can be motivated in the very same way, selfish agenda rather than God’s plan. We often ask God to conform His Will to our ways but today I want to encourage us that prayer is the alignment of our will with God’s way!

I’m reminded of the lyrics to a song, “When you can’t trace His hand, trust His heart.” Sometimes God‘s plan isn’t always as easy to see as we hoped but, we walk in obedience even though we don’t always understand.

The Bible is filled with many verses on this very topic but I have to believe that if we come into alignment with God‘s biblical pattern for living and live within the promises that He gives so that we will discover God‘s peace and plan for our lives. Most of us struggle with simply obeying what God commands throughout Scripture yet alone trying to discover His plan.

In 1 Corinthians 10:31 it reminds us that in everything do it to the glory of God. I am also  reminded that in the book of James that if we lack wisdom that we can ask in faith and that God will provide. I am also intrigued by examples throughout the scripture like in II King’s 13:14 when the Prophet was dissatisfied with the actions of a king because he had fallen short of what God wanted to do. (Read it because it is amazing.)

God calls us to specific things but it’s always within the context of what He commands and what He promises that He will do. I remember when I felt the call to ministry. I was overly concerned about the specifics of that call but God simply wanted me to be obedient in the context of what He clearly commands as well as living within what He promises. Once I figured that out I was able to operate freely within the parameters and not concern myself about tripping over details. Of course God can be very specific but He typically uses others as well as confirms those specifics along the way. But often it is a faith walk that is discovered through the journey not the destination.

A quote by a friend of mine, Dr. Steve Snyder says, “God’s will is about a position not a decision.”

Isn’t it amazing that just when we need to know what the next step is that God will bring us to that metaphoric 11 o’clock hour. Once my family was within 15 days of having to move out of our home with very few options about where to go. Neither my wife or I had a new position lined up but we definitely could not afford to stay where we were living at the time. As we prayed and waited on the Lord, He came through at just the right time. Within those 15 days of moving Cindi was able to secure a job and we were able to make the move. From there God begin to unfold the rest of His plan along the way.

During that difficult time, which lasted nearly 2 years, we were filled with uncertainty and I questioned God‘s plan often. It was during that time that God revealed to me that it was not the destination but the journey that mattered. While the Lord always supplied our every need; we didn’t always know exactly how it would happen.

One such journey of faith occurred when I was confronted with financial need. The church was making some cuts in their finance and I took a journey of faith that showed me that God truly was the provider. Grateful that God lead me throughout that time when the income was reduced substantially and I had to depend on other means of support for my family. Thankfully the church allowed us to stay living in the church parsonage but financially I had obligations that I needed an income for. The Lord seemingly came through every single time. Some through donations that came to us in support of my chaplaincy. In other ministry opportunities like weddings and funerals the provided just the right amount of income for what we needed that week. Every detail came together in God’s time and at just the right time to provide for our every need.

I’m older now and I could see clearly how God orchestrated every detail. I had to trust him during those uncertain times yet he never failed. It was truly a reminder to me and my wife and hopefully to my children that God was always in control.

Prayer is that alignment of my will with God’s way. I could tell you story after story of just how he did it but I encourage you to take that journey of faith and learn every lesson you can because it’s not only in the good times but more often in the difficult times that God comes through. Today I have the privilege of seeing how God developed me and how he worked out so many incredible details.

Finding God‘s will is a journey into the unknown as it is a walk with God from day to day. We didn’t  just one day wake up and say, “There it is!” It was a gradual discovery of God‘s will. Moreover it is the journey of how God reveals His provision and His promises.

My life verse is a reflection of how God lead me through the good and the bad. Philippians 1:6 says, “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.“