Pause.

Is taking time out easy for you? Me, not so easy. I am surrounded by noise all day long. Me, not finding time to just sit and pray. Me, not being silent. Me, not being present.

It is a new discipline that I am trying to find rhythm for. 

My journal reflects this. My schedule reflects this. My time with others reflect this. I am hurried and setting goals just for me. They are my inner commands to rush - achieve - do! 

I am finding it hard to spend time - quality time with God. 

I am finding a renewed meaning with spending time - quality time with those I love! Yet, this is slow. I feel the need to do. I do the dishes. I do the other things. I fill my space with stuff! My family appreciated it but why do I need to do it? 

40 hours of work.

20 hours of “my scheduled” stuff. 

60 or so hours of sleep. I have no trouble sleeping.

20-25 hours wasted? Where did this time go? TV. YouTube. Reading. Other tasks that mean nothing. Personal Worship. Corporate Worship.

How did I get to this decade? 

Did stuff carry me here? Did duty bring me here? Did self get me here? Perhaps this is why I am weary.

What have I experienced in Christ? Leading others to Christ. Prayer. Worship. Purposeful study. Fellowship with others with no agenda!

Who benefited by the wake I made in life?

Who have I damaged in the waves I created? 

Rest. Patience. These are my most recent themes. They have taken me somewhere - all year and into 2024.