We All Have It But Few See It!

Today’s article speaks of a concern that I have, even among Christians. It’s likely that I have certain Blindspot’s that prevent me from seeing this problem with it myself but I am certain that I too have this problem.

We all have it but few see it. You might wonder what I’m talking about yet you won’t be surprised when I actually tell you. Perhaps it’s because I may cynic to human nature but I can see it in others clearly. It’s common to everyone. It can interfere with relationships and it can even get in the way enough to cause problems at work. It can even get in the way enough that we cannot see passed it.

What is it? Why is it such a glaring blindspot? How does it keep getting in the way. It is noticeable but we keep tripping over it.

It is our ego. It is that selfish nature within us. For some it is a protector so we do not get hurt. For others it stems from low self-esteem. Yet for others it may even flow from areas of strength. In a recent article that I published on the subject of pride and humility I speak a little bit related to this similar topic today. Read more here.

I find it everywhere I go. In fact it is a bit of an advantage for me when it is clear. I find that few are those that take the road less traveled but that most trip over it almost every time. I think it is what causes conflict in relationships.

While others may respond out of fear. Many respond out of pride. An article that I published previously gives tactical ideas on the advantages of a healthy degree of personal ego. Many want to make a difference yet few know why. Check out that article here. 

The Scriptures seem to affirm the need for humility. Psalm 84 Reminds us that it is better to be a doorkeeper in the house of the Lord. Proverbs 16:18 encourages us to have humility since pride leads to destruction.

So if we see this issue in others, what should we do about it? For me, I choose the road less traveled with the desire to love and bless others. Most of what I do in my current role could be called sales or public relations. It is a role that allows me to engage in the interpersonal development of relationships or strategic purpose. Typically the cause is a represent as they were the pursuit in my goal is often to match my cause with another persons need or desire to make a difference. 

When I first meet someone I employ several of these tactics to engage a relationship that may earn me the right to talk about my agenda. My agenda being usually the cause of which I represent that is a worthy endeavor.

Every year I ring the bell for the Salvation Army. I use some classic oneliners that help engage the relationship of people or people that I have never met. I have but a few seconds to somehow connect with someone. Often they are patrons on their way to do shopping along my path. The cause is a simple to understand. I want them to give donations to those less fortunate in our community. 

How do I efforts to increase donations for the Salvation Army in those brief seconds of engagement I’m attempting to connect with an individual. Sometimes I will make statements as they enter in order to gain a sense of recognition or even an awareness of my cause. I find it an improvement to donations if people can feel good about themselves and perhaps even see themselves as making a difference. I will often say statements like, “Now don’t spend all your money in there!” Or, “Brother can you spare a dime?“ and to the embarrassment of my children I may even say, “Greetings! Make this a joyous season of giving for everyone!” 

On a more sincere approach I genuinely wish them a “erry Christmas!” And a “God bless you!” I have been known to say to folks, “How might I pray for you?”

Typically, as we become aware of the need of others enables us to build a bridge that increases, what I called the relational collateral in the lives of others. Relational collateral is an investment into the lives of people without expecting anything in return. It is typically a kind smile or a loving expression offered to someone else. It is a natural tendency for people to reciprocate either the action or the kind expression offered.

Society is built on reciprocity. Christians even go beyond a simple exchange we call reciprocation by expressing the golden rule that tells us to do one to others as we would have them do unto us. It’s an extension of a credit without expecting a return on the investment. I believe it is best to porn do people what you desire in return!

As I interact with others I have found out that you could make deposits into the lives of people through kindness and genuine expressions of care. In the book written by Covey, “The Speed of Trust,” you discover how you can build a pond your efforts and gain greater trust from others.

Ego is central to how most of us are. If we’re not acting out of pride and there’s a good chance we are acting out of fear nevertheless it is our ego that often take center stage. As a professional who is working with people, it’s important to elevate the status of someone because of the nature of who many of us are. With that, you can build relational collateral by investing in them through listening, genuine compliments, ND sincerity and appreciation for their role & title.

The next time you are trying to engage in a relationship, it is always good to remember to be a servant first. Learn as much as you can about the individual so that you could identify ways in which you could connect further on areas where they have interest. In developing these tactics always be authentic, positive, and honest. The old adage that is not what you know that really matters but who you come to know. It’s equally true that people will never remember what you say but they will always remember how you made them feel.