The Type-A personality is one that is driven by passion and enthusiasm. It is a person that is often fraught with complexities and can be toxic to the health of an organization. A person may be performance driven yet spiritually empty. Today I want to discuss my own inadequacies and vulnerabilities as I share this entry.
I derive my energy from being with people. I enjoy hearing their stories and encouraging them to pursue even greater risk and achievements. Perhaps, I am too forceful at times and its biggest impact is generally leaving me spiritually empty.
I have learned that it’s not the choices we make that ultimately matter but it’s the patterns that develop that present the problem. Habits form overtime including the habits of busyness and performance that can create an unhealthy identity.
While I am driven I find that I am often spiritually empty. In my spiritual life I have found that God does it need my new ideas in that way, going in alone attitude isn’t what God requires. In my younger years I thought that being a good Christian meant being extremely active and busy with a list of items, like checking off the list. I felt that success was dependent on me and it came from a time when I grew up what is the belief that I had to always get things right.
I felt it the more I did the more spiritual I was. I believed that God was pleased with my busyness. My life motto, even today believes that Christine is wasteful. Blaise Pascal becomes my motto: “I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man’s being unable to sit in a room.” (1623-1662)
As I am now in recovery from a particular addiction of haste and busyness, I now realize that it was often vanity and superficial spirituality. In my recovery I have discovered that it’s OK to rest and relax.
To look more into this subject read the following article: Performance-based-Christianity.
Perhaps the challenge today is to find what brings you satisfaction and more important what defines your identity. Is your identity in Christ and his grace core upon your personal endeavors as if you have to prove yourself. Throughout my life I felt as if I needed to prove something and perhaps it was my childhood experiences that my outlook or perhaps even a personality orientation but ultimately it was in vanity.
I have learned that I do not have to go in alone and that God does not necessarily keep score of my busyness. Perhaps, like Martha, Jesus needs to remind me that it’s not about doing but it is more about being. In my life I have learned to become less concerned about proving something and more concerned about being in Christ.
In my life I have learned to become less concerned about proving something and more concerned about being in Christ.
Ask yourself a couple questions In a way to self assess. in a way to self assess.
1. Do you feel the need to always take charge and control?
2. Do you track your success based on your accomplishments?
3. Do you need to take credit for success and failure?
4. Are you obsessively worried about what people think of you?
If yes to most of these questions that I encourage you to admit and begin to be on the road of recovery along with me. It’s a life time journey but one that you can find improvements on, especially as we understand that our identity is in Christ alone and not by works. I know for me, I am likely to boast (or take pride ) but thanks be to God for His great love and patience with me.
