Just recently I heard about a pastor who was very involved in his community and to the surprise of everyone, took his life. Clinical specialist work with people or dealing with depression every day. Clinical depression is at all-time epidemic levels. Often times I share my thoughts with you and they are usually very positive and hopefully this one will end on an upswing. Hang in there as you read.
I meet new people every day. Many times people say to me, "How are you doing?" Perhaps to their surprise I often give the response, "I have no complaints but, I’m open to suggestions!" I try to remain optimistic as I interact with others. I have an intentional goal of making other people feel better when I’m with them. It works most of the time. Sometimes my quirky response doesn’t come across as well as I hoped. Sometimes my humor isn’t appreciated.
Nevertheless, I enjoy speaking to restaurant waitresses or convenient store clerks or even a stranger that I come across in my travels. If you’ve read any of my previous post you’ll know that I always ask people how I can pray for them. Sometimes I don’t even know who they are but, I hope that my sincere request is meaningful to them. Just yesterday, I said this to a waitress who wept as she told me her life circumstance and what she was dealing with. I told her that what she said was very confidential and she need not worry about the impression she left with me.
Given the day and age that we live, I thought I would write about it and offer you four simple thoughts that perhaps you can use to monitor yourself and perhaps there is a solution just around the corner. Using the letters of BLUE, let me offer some ideas.
1. Believe. The first letter that I want to encourage you with offers up the word believe. The thread that perhaps weaves throughout our lives that offers us hope and even encourages our faith is to believe.
Nestled within that word is another word, lie. Yes, in the midst of our desire to believe is a reminder that lies are more painful than we would like to think. To believe is to wrestle with lies and deception. In fact, it is a hurdle that we must overcome.
In simple terms, I want to remind you that you can push through the terrible deception of our own negative thoughts or difficult circumstances and Deepend upon the truth of God’s love. It is what we build upon. It is the bedrock of what we can believe in.
2. Laugh. There are some people who are very serious and believe that if they open up that part of their lives, to be vulnerable that it will be negative. To laugh or to cry, it is an emotion that we must include in our every day activities in life. I saw sign once at a restaurant when I was having breakfast that offer three simple words; eat, love, pray. I like those three simple words because they are indeed simple. Each of them a bear a resemblance of connection with others. To demonstrate emotions is important. To encourage others is paramount. To laugh with others is the pentacle of life!
Whether it is laughter or tears, it’s important to express your feelings with others so that you could be an encourager, touching the very heart and soul of another.
3. Understand. Take time to do an inventory in your own life. Thank deeply so that you may gain understanding of why you feel the way you do. Gaining understanding of what is causing you to feel negative or down so that you can build a perspective about what is really going on. In reality, it may be just a temporary host of a negative emotion that will pass in a few days but if it is much deeper in ongoing, seek a deeper understanding with a counselor or your physician. Chronic and clinical depression is something that we can learn from and seek help with.
Many times there are those that we see in isolation that we should come in contact with and simply ask how can I help you? Asking people to share what is heavy on their heart doesn’t take long. It’s so important that we pray for people but that we also "listen, listen" first before giving pat answers or superficial advice.
Never hesitate To offer your assistance. Never hesitate to listen. Never hesitate to respond.
4. Engage. I’ve often said that as a pastor that if I ever fell down or discouraged about my circumstances that I would take time to make a hospital call or to visit a shut-in or to provide care and comfort to someone in need. It is pretty remarkable how my concerns seem to fade into the background as I help others in need.
Unfortunate that as we deal with depression how insidious this disease is. It often causes people to isolate themselves from others rather than engage with others. Too often we set ourselves apart from others when indeed the very solution may be to reach out to others!
I write this knowing that I am not a licensed social worker or clinical psychiatrist. In fact, you may be reading this and neither are you. Nevertheless, it’s important to address this topic and to be willing to be responsive to the needs of others. Allow them to share their feelings whether it be in anger, or tears, or complaints. Be a buffer to listen, listen first. Do not be quick to answer. Do not be quick to solve their problem. Ask questions so that you can gain an understanding of how you can best care
for them. Bring a specialist into your conversation. Let someone know that you care enough to bring someone who can help.
Remind yourself as well, when you feel alone and depression becomes a reality, you can also look to these for ideas and begin to unpack the concern that weighs heavy on your own heart. As Christians we can look to 1 Peter 5:7 -- "Cast all your cares on God because he cares for you."
Believe. Laugh. Understand. Engage.
