Today, I want to share with you a few of those snapshots as it relates to the recent death of my father-in-law, I call, Papa Don.
Picture this: We are sitting at a dinner table. I am new to this family and dating Cindi at the time. With all of the awkwardness and feelings of discomfort, while trying to get to know each other, I come to understand the humor of her dad. Someone is asking for the cantaloupe to be passed to them. I simply returned the request asking if they would pass the cantaloupe. To which, my father-in-law says, “No! You cannot elope! You have to get married the proper way.” I took a big gulp and likely turned very red. I wasn’t sure what to say. He smiled. I blushed.
Memories are wonderful. Flooding into my mind are the incredible memories being shaped by context and peppered with humor that was not quite understood at the time.
As a sign of interest, he wanted to know about my family. To do that, he decided to bring Cindi to my home to meet my parents one summer day. At his own expense, he decided to come and stay the weekend so that he could better know who I am.
Picture this: Fulfilling a promise that he had made to his daughter, he would give her away in a a most unusual way. Here I am trying to be proper at the rehearsal for the wedding with my father sitting in the front row. My dad called me over to me to tell me to straighten up, get serious, and to be proper because this is the respectable way to act.
We all smiled that day because my father-in-law eased the tension in those moments by displaying humor, his own way.
Fast forward to the recent setting when the funeral arrangements are having to be made. I said to my wife, “Cindi, don’t call on me for anything in his funeral. I don’t think that I could hold myself together long enough to say anything of substance.” She honored my request.
I’m reminded that his funeral was a home-going, but it was clear that I wanted to have a snapshot for my family to remember. I gathered them closely as we hugged one another once again realize that a man of God has now departed for heaven’s gain! Papa Don’s entry into heaven was because of his relationship with God through Jesus Christ.
Everywhere he would go, he talked about Jesus. Even when he didn’t know us, he knew Jesus personally.
I will post the obituary below, but I want to focus on what my experience has been. I am blessed to have become part of the Rumsey family. Some tease about me being an outlaw, but, I felt very much a part of this wonderful family. Yes, I love my own family who have contributed greatly to my life. I love my father and mother, who are still living. Though, I can write a whole chapter about their contribution in my life, I want to focus on one solitary life, my father-in-law.
These are but only a few snapshots. Even though it’s hard to put into words the love and the incredible experiences that he and I have shared with my father-in-law. Yet, I write this with tears.
Picture this: I am taking Cindi out on a date. Nervous and uncertain, I am given instructions by her parents. Cindi’s dad simply says, “Have her home on time!“ He reminds me that Cindi‘s mother is Native American and a little bit of humor, mixed with a surprising expression. He simply said, “You know what ‘they’ do when you don’t follow instructions?” He rubs his bald head and said, “Don’t be a victim!” I got the message and I definitely got Cindi home on time.
Papa Don has always had a joy for living as large as his joy for Jesus. He didn’t know a stranger and he wanted to get to know me. After all, if I’m gonna get serious about my relationship with Cindi, I better get to know this family as well. He stepped into my life and made a profound, meaningful difference in me!
He anttended events in my life because he cared.
Picture this: Cindi and I are getting more serious about our relationship. Although my home is over 150 miles away from Marion, Papa Don demonstrated huge support for our feelings. He would remind me that I was dating his daughter!
He was not shy and not intimidated in the least. It was a potential father-in-law meet the other in-laws so that he can share Jesus with them.
These are just a few snapshots of the kind of man that Papa Don was and potentially could be in my life. He had humor and he was authentic. Both of these qualities met well with my family. There was no confusion about who he was nor who he loved. He wanted only the best for his daughter and he wanted the best for me.
Then, the rehearsal music begins. My fiancé is now being escorted down the aisle by her father. He was dressed in a gorilla suit unashamed as he danced his way down the aisle.
My father was taken back, and he turns to me to say, “Never mind, just be yourself!“
I write these thoughts and as I reflected upon his important role in my life. With tears, I write this narrative that releases a flood of emotion in me. I am filled with joy and gratitude.
Yet, here I go, writing what I wish I could have said at the funeral.
These are the snapshots of grace that evoke tears of gladness and joy that overwhelm my ability to communicate effectively.
I gathered my family around the casket of the one who has had a profound impact on me, my children, my grandchildren, and all those who gathered to say goodbye.
How is it that one life could affect the lives of so many?
Though my father-in-law, Papa Don, didn’t remember our names in recent years, or know who we really were in his life yet, at the core of who he was is his relationship with Jesus. He had never forgotten who Jesus is!
This brief entry into my blog is very personal. It communicates what I cannot say in person. Why would I have tears for one who is going to his final home? Because, I have been blessed by his simple faith and his incredible love.
Thank you, Papa Don! You have enriched me. You have mentored me. You have stood as a giant in faith for me! I am better because of you! Thank you for letting me marry your number one (by age) daughter!
