The ministry of the church is very complex. It is very rewarding with lots of wonderful stories about the grace and spiritual gifts of the Lord at work in His church. There’s nothing like it.
It is a living organism with lots of moving pieces. It is likened unto the body with its complexities and all the different parts that work together. It is a mystery that invokes curiosity and we see miracles which motivate us to be active in our Call to ministry. I have always been amazed and there is never a dull moment. I have been involved in the ministry of the local church as a minister for over 30 years and I can tell you that there are experiences that are so unique that most people would never believe the half.
Today my family ranks highest in my priorities but, early on in ministry it was not always the case. When I first entered into the ministry, I was so excited about ministry that I would often spend almost all my time at the church and in ministry. I would say that I’m not the best example but it is both case and point. On the very day that my wife was expecting our first child, she called me up at the church asking when I was going to finish my meeting. The clues were not immediately obvious to me because all I simply said to her was, "I should be done within the hour." Some of the ladies, more sensitive simply said, "What she means is that the baby is coming and you really need to leave now to go to the hospital." That was nearly thirty years ago.
I loved being active in the ministry of the church. I had the fortunate opportunity that my family could participate in many of the ministries that I was leading. Whether that was teaching Sunday School or youth group activities and outings, my family was often with me. In many cases, I even took them for granted.
Not every vocational or career allows you to take your child to work with you, but in the ministry of the local church, that was pretty common. I’ve learned a few things since those days. The following is a list of three, no four lessons that I’ve learned in doing local church ministry. You might say that I have been to the school of hard knocks because many of these lessons came as a result of hardships.
1. Most people are forgiving.
There are countless examples of times when I have personally experienced that most people are forgiving. My first sermon, my first youth outing, or my first choir cantata taught me that people are filled with grace and mercy. I have made major blenders in my ministry years and have discovered that people will forgive you, at least most will forgive you. Then there are some who may never forgive you.
The nature of the ministry is so broad that it’s possible that your blind spots are clear to everyone but yourself. Even in areas of natural abilities and strengths, I can often remember times when I produced anxiety and frustration in others. From my perspective I was doing just fine. Yet, from the perspective of others I was creating problems and added to the stress that people felt.
I learned that there are some who were negatively impacted by my passion and zeal and who may have even been offended by how I went about doing my ministry. Some would simply tell me graciously while others would simply quietly remain frustrated and even angry.
I believe I’m much more sensitive today but I am human. As I surfed through life, carefree I would leave a wake of mistakes along the shoreline of people’s lives. It was years before I could understand the negative impact of my actions and decisions. While most people are pretty forgiving there are a few who just simply cannot forgive.
I’ve met some pastors who are actually grateful when people leave their church because they believe deeply that it’s best for those people to move on. These notions are of course wrong but preachers like me reasoned that the problem couldn’t have been mine. Sometimes our actions create such a barrier in the relationship that people have no choice but to go to a different church. I’ve never understood the belief that it was best for them to move on because I now hold to the belief that everyone has value, everyone has something to offer. That lesson came after much hardship and trouble that may in fact was the result of my doing.
Today I encourage new pastors in the process of vocational training to listen more and be people with gifts and graces. I have learned how essential it is to be confident in the Lord but humble in the care of others.
2. I can’t do it all by myself.
One of the most difficult realizations that I came to learn in my ministry is that I don’t have the ability to do it all by myself. It was in my early years but I can recall a time when I felt as if I didn’t need anyone else and that it would be far more difficult to train someone then if I just did it myself. After all, I was the trained professional, so I thought. This philosophy of ministry drove me to do more and more and it communicated to others that they were not needed. I didn’t understood in those early years that I was being a "martyr". I thought it was admirable to think that I could be the hero and receive all the accolades but in actuality, I was really crippling the ministry of those around me. I needed to trust others and train them to the work of the ministry.
I remember coming to a place when I was emotionally drained and literally didn’t even have time to take a vacation or a day off. I would work early in the morning and late at night trying to get it all done because I thought that it all was depended upon me. I thought those early years that I needed to run all of the meetings and that I needed to execute all of the action steps. I even thought it was a spiritual gift that drove me to do it all by myself. When I would get together with my peers and other colleagues I would even brag about how useful I was, even how much the ministry needed me. I would complain about how "no one else can do it."
I still believe that I need to work hard but I need to delegate, train, and trust others to do the work of the ministry. I know now that if I am going to be effective, I need to trust others. I don’t mean to say, use people as if they are my minions but to allow people to experience the benefits and joy of serving.
In recent years I have discovered that doing things in my own strength is not healthy. I felt better about myself for a period of time. I actually came to enjoy the compliments that came with being the Lone Ranger in ministry. I didn’t even have a faithful assistant who would ride along life‘s journey.
3. A greater dependency on God‘s Word.
The complexities of life and the issues that people have reminds me that I need to depend on the Lord’s Word in my life. While the ministry was always changing, Truth is most often challenged. I don’t believe that in my early years it was any more difficult than it is today but I thought I had all the answers. I was confident in myself. That lasted for a time but I fell short.
Often I felt like I needed to have all the answers to questions that I never really proposed to myself. The authority of God‘s Word has always been challenged by people of the world, whether in the church or outside of the church.
I can remember times when families would come to me with complexities about underage drinking and drugs or early age pregnancy. As a youth leader the answers seem to come easy as I reflected on the hardships that people faced, made more complex by poor choices. I don’t say that to be judgmental but the reality is that people do make bad decisions that impact them for the rest of their lives.
In church ministry we are confronted by those hardships and often people want to blame God when they never even consulted him in the first place.
Over the years I have found myself more and more dependent upon what God’s Word has to say. There are always those who misalign the Scriptures or proof text something to fit their philosophies but the bottom line is that God‘s Word is the authority and it does prevent many of the foolish actions of mankind.
Pastors are not only called to preach and teach but they are called to be pastoral while serving as counselors and consultants as well as using parenting skills. The vocation of pastoring is not a simple science like other professions. I believe that is a vocation but that doesn’t minimize the importance of being professional and being trained. They are just too many details to life and we must become scholars of the Word of God.
4. It seems like the more that I discover about church work, the less I really know.
I have learned that the more I know, the less I really know. It’s such an oxymoron to realize that as you experience the ministry you become much more humble in the process. Over the years I have went from knowing all the answers, at least I thought I did, to seemingly knowing that I need to know more.
Let me illustrate that this way. When I was a youth pastor and had no children of my own yet I seemingly was the expert on parenting. I would hear what my students would say to me about their parents and like every young adult, I would come up with ideas of my own. Then, that day came when I had my own child. It wasn’t long before I realize that I really didn’t know anything at all about parenting. I came to realize that I was a student more than an expert. I laugh at myself when I think about calling parent meetings in my living room and my first church when I thought that I could tell the parents how to raise their children. It was textbook knowledge with no experience at all.
After all of these years of ministry, just when I think that I seemingly have heard at all, there are still surprises. There is a debate about scripture or the complexities of someone’s life that causes me to realize that I really don’t know it all.
I believe what the wisest man, Solomon said of life. He is indeed correct. There is nothing new under the sun and it is all vanity, vanity.
I hope that the lessons I’ve learned in ministry over the years can be helpful for those developing to become ministry leaders. Learning from someone else’s life journey can help people avoid pitfalls.
"God calls and the church recognizes, examines, and validates that divine vocation." - Willimon
