2 Corinthians 1:3-6
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5 For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 6 If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. New International Version
When tragedy strikes any home there is a tremendous amount of confusion, questions, blame and numbness. Tragedy overwhelms our capacity to process and make sense of a situation. Those involved are so overwhelmed by the sudden loss their emotions become unable to process and they become overloaded! Grief takes over!
Recenly the Brookhaven Wesleyan Church was called upon to bring help, healing and comfort because of a tragic suicide. The whole church was impacted by this sudden and tragic death. The suicide of anyone no matter the age is tough to cope with but a loss of a teen is epecially difficult. This loss brought out difficult emotions for many.
Today, I wish to address a couple of issues that the church faces in times of incredible tragedy and loss. I wish to say first of all to anyone reading this article that I was so appreciative and impressed with the role our pastors served. Their compassion and outreach to the family was a witness to the love our God has for us in Christ. They brought a ministry of God's presence and they lifted up the hurting in such a wonderful way. They each dedicated themselves to prayer and spiritual guidance that helped the family and also assisted the church people through their own grief and loss. This article is not intended to bring complain or criticism to our staff or leadership at Brookhaven.
The first thing that happens in times of tremendous loss like this is a sense of helplessness. Many unanswered questions arise during these kinds of situations. Some may even feel frustrated and experience unrelated hurt and personal grief. For those that have experienced any loss during their lives they experience compounded grief. They are grasping to find condolence for their past grief while also feeling a responsibility to bring comfort to those closest to the family. Their grief is compounded because they also carry personal hurt and anquished unresolved from previous loss.
Another issue that occurs in the church body is a feeling of responsibility. Many questions why this tragedy was not overted. Some are dealing with the blaming cycle of grief. Others are faced with disbelief that such tragedy could have even happened at their church. They might even make comments wondering what is wrong that our church that such a tragedy could happen. Some may look to "fix"this tragedy and develop programs that can prevent such tragedy in the future.
For these brief reason I write this article. These two common issues stem from a desire to resolve to such unresolved grief. While it is understandable and with the best of intentions that the church looks for ways to prevent tragedy in the future, it is unrealistic to believe that somehow the church can. I wish to encourage the people of Brookhaven and other churches faced with such a tragedy. Clearly, this tragedy is unsettling and it is completely normal to feel uncomfortable. Tragedy is never giving, it only takes!
The role of the church as a community is never intended to prevent tragedy but it stands ready to serve those in need. A church at this is compassionate and caring will always be called upon to help the hurting and bring comfort to those in difficult situations. The church should not and can not create a "bubble" that prevents its people from experiencing pain and suffering. As long as we live we will be faced with hardship and tough times! I wish to encourage the church to believe that the reason Brookhaven was called upon in this way is because God knows that it can and will be a place of hope, healing and help in the Name of Christ!
Now a word about the two issues addressed. For those that have faced loss of a loved one, realize your own grief when other's face tragedy. Know that your grief is part of the process of healing you are still experiencing and that you will continue to experience your grief for many years to come. Acknowledge that you do hurt and it is okay to feel! Reach out to someone and let them care for you.
For the church that feels responsible. There is no amount of planning and prevention that can keep these tragedies from our door-step! While closeness and community have its place and every church should intentionally reach out to eachother, there are times when tragedies just happen. It is a fact of life this side of heaven! A church that is overly responsible may infact create greater stress on its membership and staff by always trying to "safe guard." Bad things just happen! Please do not miss this, the church is not designed to avoid, prevent, or keep tragedy from coming! The church's role is designed to respond to tragedy and be a compassionate extension of our savior's love!
A church is at its best when it stands ready to bring comfort and the message of God's love to those hurting. We will always wish we could avoid tragedy but may we never avoid it or those in need of the ministry that the church (the body of Christ) can provide! Thank God that the church did respond in time of need. What an incredible witness of God's love!
