Recipe For Life!

Family recipes are best kept secrets. They are passed down over generations to family. These recipes are very personal and must be followed exactly as written. If followed correctly, the taste is exact! It is unmistakable and unique in taste and quality. 

Similarly, family legacies are passed down from generation ti generation! 

Family secrets are not always negative. They are best kept secrets that reflect quality in character and quality of love. Both for one another and others, family is central. I have met many families and enjoy the stories of where their family originates. 

Sometimes we get hung up on negative past experiences. These are not supposed to be what defines out identity but they do define our future. We can determine how we handle those experiences. With God, we can find redemptive outcomes. If we remain bitter, we become prisoners to those circumstances. Yet, it may very well be that there is a hopeful outcome just around the corner.

Doing genealogy tracing has yielded family secrets of revolutionary and civil war heroes. I have discovered legacies and stories that have changed how I even view my current narrative. I feel blessed by what has been a part of my family tree. 

When I ask about our family tree from my elders, grandparents, uncles, aunts, and parents, I am often impressed by the many times they have maintained faith through hardships and terrible tragedies. Even negative stories offer redemptive hope. The stories are a part of who we are today. 

There is a recipe for life eternal that is not asecret yet few find it. This is also passed down to generations but it shows the way to eternal life. It begins with God’s plan thatsays, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son…” (Read more at John 3:16-17)

What family recipes do you have hidden away?How do you feel knowing that God loves you? 

Good Habits ....

Good habits are hard to make but easy to break! It is said that it takes weeks to develop a new habit through consistent practice. It only take one bad day to break a habit. 

All habits are based on choices. I often tell those I speak to in my prison work, be careful what choices you make; they may become the prison cell of life you will occupy. Choices have consequences. This is true for everyone, there are both good and bad consequences. 

In our society today, we don’t want to talk about consequences. Often I hear about God’s grace as if there are no results to the choices we make. Of course we realize that we cannot defy gravity. If we step off the end of the cliff we are certain to fall to great peril.

Even on a spiritual level, choices can result in that outcomes. We are, after all humans resulting from the fall of mankind. Even if we deny this theology, we can see through natural law sickness and tragedy. These too are too often the results of choices we or others have made. (While I understand that not all sickness is based on negative choices.) 

Choices, while different for everyone, are afforded equal status for everyone. We all have the freedoms to choice. Reading the Bible is one choice that renders a good return on your time. God’s Word “never returns empty.” (Isaiah 59:11) Choices that are based on a firm foundation are often positive. We learn from the mistakes of others so to avoid them. We learn wisdom from ancient proverbs and principles. These Truths are found in the Bible.  

What are your bad habits? What good habits might you start today?

What is Truth?

The weather is not easy to predict. On days we expect sun, we get clouds and rain. If you Live in Indiana, as I do, you learn that if you don’t like the weather, give it time & it will change. You learn to expect and settle for anything that comes your way.  I am told that there are only two professions that are not held to accurate predictions; Meteorologist and I will let you guess the other…. 

When Jesus was before His accusers and Pontius Pilate was deciding His fate, this Roman Governor asked, What is Truth?  (John 18:38) The question is as profound as the answer that Jesus gave. Pilot was in search of greatness and likely learned that being powerful was not all that there was. His expectations came up short.Having to preside over the greatest of all verdicts, Pilot was simply an actor in the greatest story ever written. Did pilot know something that others did not? Was he aware of how monumental his verdict would be in all of history? 

The Truth is often sought but only those that seek can find it. It begins with a quest through the good book, The Bible. No matter the quest or where you come from, the pursuit for that which is real, and ever so illusive, is the journey many, and perhaps all, begin. Few find the road less traveled. Unlike the classic Beatles song, “The Long and Winding Road” where most travel but only few find the end and are satisfied. It the Bible, Jesus says that He is the Truth. 

Jesus is worth the pursuit! What answers do you seek? When you seek Truth, where do you begin?

Breakfast With Jesus.

 I love a good meal with friends. It isn’t really the food that draws me to the table, it is Friendship. It is being accepted and loved. It is about the fellowship of a good friend. No matter what you say to a good friend, they will always care. 

Jesus often ate with His disciples. On one occasion Jesus actually made breakfast. It was after His death on the cross and his resurrection from the dead that He shared a good meal and conversation. (John 21:12 NASV) I wish I could have eves-dropped in their conversations. I wonder what they talked about. 

We only have but a shadow of what was said but I imagine it was filled with grace and love, friendship that is both forgiving and kind. Having a meal with Jesus would have been burnishing to not only my body but also for my soul.

What would you order for breakfast with Jesus if you could? How would the conversation begin?

Three Little Words!

Three little words can make a world of difference if spoken correctly. These three words can solve conflict and enhance the spirit of good will and care for others. Love can be cheap but true love is both true and eternal. In the english language the word love is used to describe everything from pizza to possessions, things and experiences. The love of God is eternal. 

God‘s love is different. Packed in those four little letters are sacrifice, commitment, patience, and the list goes on. These qualities originate with God! Love motivates and is measured by both actions and meaningful expressions. The kind of love God gives is everlasting. Is is not selfish not does it envy! (1 Corinthians 13 completes the list of attributes.) 

Can you hear God say, I love you? What are you willing to give up two show true and lasting love?

Equal Opportunity Offender.

We all have one thing in common. It is equal across all classes, races, and backgrounds. It is woven through every generation in the past and yet to come. It is an equal opportunity offender. It is within all of us. This one thing can have a negative impact on our lives. 

The Bible calls it sin. We can find sin throughout the Bible and it is often defined as break the law. It usually addresses the moral wrong-doing or act that violates a divine rule. No matter the offense, it is damaging, destructive, and deadly. 

Yet, the same can be said of God‘s grace. We read in John 3:16-17 that God sent is Son, Jesus to us because of His loves. God wanted to save us from sin. It is called grace! It does not discriminate; it is equally available to everyone. It is an equal opportunity defender; God’s Amazing Grace! 

Which sin has you captive? How has God‘s Amazing Grace set you free?

Every Opportunity To Do Good

Good words are recorded in the Bible including, “Make the most of every opportunity.” (Ephesians 5:15) I believe that doing good is never bad and it beats the alternative! In the Bible we read this and other similar verses that encourage us to expand opportunity by utilizing wisdom, God’s wisdom. The New Year makes dreaming possible and potential realized.

God is a God of possibility and limitless potential as we grow in His grace and Truth. God knows that we have potential and that is good news. When I was a child I didn’t always know this. I grew up being told I was stupid. I was told that I couldn’t do certain things. I applied those beliefs to everything I did. 

I am reminded of a rule that my son says to his children; “Don’t say can’t!” I love that he is expanding the often limiting challenges with his young kids. It is a lesson for us as well, don’t say can’t. I said once that I couldn’t do something in front of my 6 year old granddaughter and she responded, “Don’t say can’t!” I think that my son’s instructions are sinking in.

While I know that I have limitations and I am better at some things over other things, I need to see that God put eternity into my heart. I need to know that I was put together in my mother’s womb with potential. I need the reminder that God doesn’t make junk.

In my youth and young adult years my friend and mentor, Gary used to say to me, “I is somebody!” I would say self-loathing comments and make excuses but he would say, “Look at me! Say it! I is somebody! Say it!” I got so used to hearing this I even today, when I doubt myself I look around to see if Gary was around. His words echo in my mind today! 

What limits do you place on yourself? How can you expand your potential with God’s help and wisdom?

Better Than Sliced Bread!

Throwback Thursday is a new and interesting phenomena. We see some of the most interesting flashback post pictured all over social media. Here is yet another entry. 

In 1943, the government, in order to ration materials in support of the WWII effort, sliced bread was banned! What?! You might be surprised to read this and quickly checking fact check to see if this is true. Yup, it is!

Invented in the 1916 and first manufactured in 1927, the sliced bread cutting machine changed the world forever. Bakers used the convenience of the invention to automatically slice loaves of bread for their customers. Housewives were delighted by the already sliced and packaged food staple.  

From that time, the phrase, “better than sliced bread” has become a common phrase that compares the innovation of new products. We often like to think that what we offer is better than sliced bread. Not sure how this little nugget of history really changes anything but it makes for great conversation and useless, yet interesting trivia.  Today, I offer one interesting spiritual parallel.

Today, the purpose of government is debated as to what their role in our personal al lives. We might even debate the legitimacy of certain laws, especially today! You can draw your own conclusions to the government example that may parallel here but that is for your own inspection. Political satire is prominent exactly because some things that are suggested by large, over-reaching powers are so unusual and overbearing that if we don’t laugh, we just might cry.

Now onto the spiritual insight. When Jesus spoke of Himself as the bread of life, he was drawing from an everyday activity, eating bread! (John 6:35) This was a significant food staple to life!

After feeding 5,000 men plus women and children, Jesus speaks to the crowd again, this time offering them a different kind of bread, one that would never rot, and would always keep them full. When the people ask for this bread, the Bible records, “Jesus said to them, ‘I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger and whoever believes in me shall never thirst’”

Today, while sitting at a bakery, Sonrise Bakery in Warren, Indiana, I am writing this blog entry. Perhaps it is the aroma of freshly baked breads or the atmosphere but I cannot escape the incredible analogy of baked bread with Jesus Christ. One of his most prominent miracles that happened more than once was the feeding of 5,000. Jesus taught using everyday analogies; something you could remember through your daily activities. 

Pointing to His own death and rising again, He announced His central role in our own salvation. Predating the invention of sliced bread, we might be able to say that He and His teaching is better than sliced bread! 

Remarkable, when the war time government overreach occurred in 1943, banning sliced bread, many opinions and criticism were heard at water coolers and street corners all over the country including famous celebrities. Actress Olivia Mary de Havilland  remarked, “Steps should have been taken long ago because bread was always sliced too big and it was about time the government stepped in.” Try not to laugh.

The whole notion of rationing and controlling every detail to one’s life, as was the case of the 1943 government “food order #1”, preventing the slicing of bread by bakers, the order was retracted just 2 months from when it was issued. Most in the Roosevelt administration denied authorship of the bread rule and themselves from it claiming they didn’t know who was responsible for its creation. 

Exceedingly More...

Good words are recorded that tell us that God is able to do...“exceedingly, abundantly more….” (Ephesians 3:20) Just imagine the limitless ability and perspective that God has. It is beyond our comprehension and it exceeds our capacity to even understand. The future is held in God’s hand.

 

Prayer is a simple act of aligning my will with God’s Will. As we do this we realize that His plans are usually unimaginable. We often pray “earth-bound” prayers; that is, praying for what depends on ourselves. We pray for help when the ability for help is within our grasp. 

What we need to pray is the alignment of my will with God’s Will. It will take us places and help us accomplish more than we could on our own. Pray as if your future depend on it!

As the Apostle Paul wrote about prayer he reminds us that we need to understand that God is able to do more than what our limited perspective can even imagine. Many passages of scripture reveal that we can (with God’s help) when we feel like we can’t. 

What is God’s Will for you? What is the first step you can take to align your earth-bound perspective with God’s limitless Will?

We Saw His Star And Followed!

“We saw his star…” (Matthew 2:2) Seeking for over a year, the Wisemen followed a star and finding Jesus they worshipped. They were seeking and found the only One who is worthy to worship. They spend their wealth, traveled a long journey, and gave what they had to Jesus.

The wisemen searched in faith. They seemed to know that the baby Jesus was royalty. Foretold that this child born would be the savior of all mankind. The wisemen devoted themselves and their resources to finding what the sign in the stars promoted! 

If you were to visit royalty for the very first time, how would you respond? What gifts might you bring? When you finally arrive at what you search for, is it worth it? Wise men seek Him today! 

The journey of wisemen can also be ours as well. For the wisemen, they were not disappointed. The searched for this new child who would save us from our sin. Seeking and finding the fulfillment of their hopes! 2021 can begin your journey or for many, it fulfills your longing heart seeking the One worthy to worship. 

What are you seeking today? What is worth all your seeking? Finding Jesus, they worshipped!

Hope-Filled Resolutions!

Happy NEW Year! I know of very few who will miss 2020. It was a tough 2020. We hold onto the hope that would be with us in such difficult times.  “God us our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.” (Psalm 45:1)

It is about HOPE! What most people do every year is make NEW Year’s HOPE-filled resolutions. It is a time to look ahead, set goals, and find HOPE for something NEW! We all like and need hope! 

The Bible tells us that “God’s mercies are new every morning.” (Lamentations 3:22-23) 2020 is like the setting of the sun with 2021 bringing a bright hope like a sunrise! Though we lament of all the struggles, we can be renewed. 

The author of the Book of laments in the Bible found HOPE when all seemed lost. In fact, HOPE is at its best when we are desperate. If we don’t give up and keep going we can find, like the Prophet Jeremiah, “God’s mercies never come to an end.”

What worries you? What do you HOPE for? How does God’s unchanging mercy change things?

Who Will Miss 2020?

I can’t imagine anyone ever saying that they will miss the year 2020. Such an incredible year that has been packed with the unusual and the catastrophic. So many have lost jobs and loved ones while so many other adjustments have been made. It has been a year filled with uncertainty. Who will miss 2020? 

Packed with the unusual is an understatement. Not only do we have the COVID-19 occurs with catastrophic consequences, the year was filled with conspiracy theories and uncertainty. Rocked by a controversial Presidential election, leveled by the insurmountable amount of news - 24/7, yet, filled with incomplete information. The result is a fearful and hopeless; many are simply put, cynical.

In John 14 we see the disciples wondering what the future held as they hear Jesus say He was departing. With so many changes and uncertainties they were comforted (as are we) by the words that Jesus spoke, “I will not leave you as orphans. I will come again.“ Indeed! He keeps His word.
    
How would you feel hearing what the disciples heard?  What would you want to change upon His return?

Love: Compassion & Care

Being shown love through compassion and care brings a feeling of joy to every person. It may not solve every problem we face but it helps us to endure the hardship of our experience. When someone cares we feel human! 

During the Advent Season, we anticipate a day that will bring the greatest joy, the return of Christ who is our salvation. It means that the One who defined love by demonstrating compassion and care for us individually. We have a clue about what love means because Jesus showed great love by His action and provision. It is witnessed by His humble birth; God Emmanuel (God with us) is love with skin on.

One of the most remarkable phrases in the Bible that describes the emotion of Jesus is, “Jesus wept.” (John 11:35) It demonstrates how Jesus felt and it was an emotion of compassion and care.  The love He showed for his friends in the death and raising again of Lazarus is remarkable! He often showed compassion for the multitudes as well. (Matthew 9:36) I believe that when Jesus wept, the heavens opened and Lazarus came forth.

The fact that Jesus was filled with compassion is well documented throughout scripture. It tells us that we can trust Him to care for whatever burden and concern we have as well. If Jesus can weep for His friends, He will also show His compassion on us as well.

When you think of how much God loves you through the actions of God Emmanuel, how does this make you feel? What brings you to tears? How could God’s love care for you today?    

Lessons from the Red Kettle

 Lessons from the Red Kettle (Republished)

By: Rick Carder

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Every year it’s a joy to volunteer my time in the community. This year, I took time out of my schedule to volunteer with Marion’s Salvation Army‘s Red Kettle. For just a couple of hours, I stood outside of the Marion Walmart greeting the patrons as they entered and exited.

Volunteering is a lot of fun and especially when it’s within your particular niche. My niche just happens to be conversation. I love to greet people and listen to their stories. Perhaps that’s why I am enjoying my time in the Indiana Wesleyan University Alumni Association as the Director of Alumni & Church Relations.

Ringing the bell for the Salvation Army is a blast in my opinion. If you enjoy observing people and interacting with them, I would highly recommend this experience. It is most interesting to me to see the reaction of people who either avoid looking at you or make every effort to let you know that they have already donated. I happen to enjoy the former more, because it is a challenge to get people to break out of their comfort zone and offer you at least a gesture of a greeting. It’s usually the nod of the head or a simple wave.

I have observed three different types of people during my time ringing the bell. First, you have the avoiders. These are the people that will go out of their way to look away and pretend they don’t hear your bell ringing and verbal greetings. One lady, who did everything she could to avoid talking to me, pretending to not hear me at first and then when it was all to obvious I was there, looked into her purse as if to grab a cell phone call. I remembered her and when she came out later I loved the opportunity to get her attention. “Hello again, and good evening,” I said. While looking straight at me, she walked past as if I was invisible. Now I’m certain she heard me because her eyes seem to convey an assurance of my existence, but she was not going to communicate with so much as a wave or nod of the head. She simply kept walking. Giving her the benefit of the doubt, I’m certain that she had other things on her mind. Perhaps they were burdens or a fear that somehow talking to me would commit her to dropping a few coins in the Red Kettle.

Then there are the people who just simply respond to my greeting with a simple echo of my greeting. “Good afternoon!” I’d say, and they would mutter, “Good afternoon to you as well”. I refer to them as the echo. This is the basis of society called reciprocity, the reciprocating of your smile or kind words but never going beyond that simple response.

You may be like the third person I encountered in my bell ringing. These people represent the true heart of charity and perhaps the golden rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you. This usually calls for a little special treatment of their response. Perhaps they not only say hello back, but they also say God bless you or thank you for being here and even offer a kind gift of a donation in the Red Kettle.

Scripture speaks often about this golden rule, going the extra mile and give cheerfully. The Christian faith is full of examples both in scripture and in life of how important it is to put others ahead of yourself. In order for a society to better itself, we need to have charity and goodwill with a splash of hope that reflects the love God has for each one of us.

This time of year there are many who are ringing bells, trying to call attention to their favorite cause. They desire to bring goodwill to one and all. It is this time of year that we think of the Christmas carols and even reflect on Charles Dickens, Christmas Scrooge. It is this time of year when charity seems to come to life visibly and in real, tangible ways.

One young lady with her six-year-old stopped at the Red Kettle and told me simply, “I can’t walk past a single one of these Red Kettles without putting something in!” as she stuffed several dollar bills into the kennel. “This organization helped me when I was in great need, and they bought gifts for my son. I am grateful and especially now that I’m on my feet I can give back so that others will have the same opportunity I once needed from this great organization.“

So take note the next time you hear that faint bell ringing; there is much to be gained through charity. There are so many benefits because of it. May that bell ringing remind you that we can do for others as we would have done to us. In this we could reflect the kind of love that God extended to us when we were yet undeserving. It is through our acts of kindness we show others that we best demonstrate the love and goodwill of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

“Preach the Gospel at all times. Use words if necessary.” – (Saint Francis of Assisi) St. Francis of Assisi

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Written prior - Rev. Rick Carder, (Formerly Director of Alumni and Church Relations for Indiana Wesleyan University’s Alumni Office.) — Currently serving White’s Residential and Family Services, Church Engagement.

From Fear To Peace

Advent is a time to hope! We find hope wrapped in small packages! While hope begins its work, many also stress over life’s circumstances. For the infant child and the humble manger family, hope is veiled at times and shadowed with fear. 

In later passages we find Jesus, the adult messiah casting out fear, something that even the the young manger family experienced. The link to the manger family and later the adult Jesus was (and is today) acquainted with our grief. The disciples were afraid. How often do we read of those closest to Jesus, His disciples, were afraid? In one incident they were fishing and a mighty storm suddenly came upon them. The wind and the waves were breaking over them. The storm was raging and they feared they world perish. Where was Jesus? He was asleep. (Matthew 8:23-27) 

Just like when He was the infant child lowly, He was resting in a calm assurance that shatters our imagination. The world is in chaos but He slept right through it.. After all, He is the prince of peace! 

Jesus was fast asleep as the disciples feared their death. Awakening Jesus, they saw him calm the wind and waves. Jesus’ contrasted lack of concern was because He could calm any troubled waters. We too can experience His presence that brings a peace in the midst of broken pieces.

What waves are breaking over you today? How can Jesus calm your spirit just now?

Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the food we oft might win, by fearing to attempt. - William Shakespeare

Introductions — The Angels Heralded His Birth!

Introductions are very helpful. I’m grateful for the opportunity to make my initial introduction to those who read the weekly column at The Paper of Wabash. Now contributing to the long-standing work, I was asked asked by Rev. Tom Curry to continue writing. 

In the upcoming publication, I began with my introduction. I asked the question, Who am I? 

Well, in truth, that is not that important of a question. Let me explain. 

When Jesus was born in a manger, his introduction was heard by all, announced by a star, and her older by the angels to a group of lowly shepherd. (Luke 2:8-15) His introduction was that of surprise and anticipation! We celebrate this today by what is called the Advent Season. It is an echo of the past, a present reality for the Christian, and an anticipation of future happenings yet to come! His birth was (and is) defined by who He is! Introductions are important. 

Yet, perhaps there is a deeper question we all must ask. The question is, whose am I?

Attempting to discover my own identity is a lifelong pursuit. I have many identities; father, grandparent, husband, pastor… But, whose am I? I am a spiritually adopted child of God. (Read Ephesians 1:5) Since Jesus was born lowly to become the means upon which I am forgiven and transformed, I can find my identity in Him. I am loved through Jesus Christ. 

What words describe you? Are you spiritually connected to God?

Advent: Most Look Ahead But, Not Me.

I don’t know what’s happening to me. As I get older, I seem to be more reflective than in my former years. Usually I am trying to advance the cause and plan ahead and set goals as high as I could but lately, things are changing. Even everybody that I know is beginning to notice. My kids are asking what’s wrong with me My wife is even noticing because I’m beginning to be sucked into the Hallmark channel. I am seemingly becoming contemplative.

I’ve been told that as you grow older, things begin to change. I certainly have noticed that my back hurts a little more and it takes me a little longer to accomplish simple task. It’s not that I’m necessarily be coming nicer, it’s the fact that I’m changing.

I’ve even begin to notice some of those changes. My dad jokes are becoming more frequent in my awkward statements to strangers as well. Probably most are Dismissive of my behavior because after all, I’m over 55, double nickels. No one would dare ask for my ID because it’s pretty obvious that I qualify for the senior discount.

I’ve heard of midlife crisis but I certainly have not bought a sports car. I have also heard rumors that as your age you begin to have few were friends. That hasn’t happened either, at least that I’ve noticed. I have become more resolute in my political opinions, and even more vocal. I also heard that that happens as well but I thought that being stubborn was a good quality.

Advent is all about anticipation in the future. December might wind down the year but it certainly amps up the anticipation of a new year. I think just about everyone is grateful to be done with 2020. Nevertheless, I seem to become more interested in the past these days.

The lighting of the candle on the advent wreath or the turning of a calendar causes me to look back rather than a head more often than I care to admit. 

Is that perhaps the way the disciples felt during that last supper with Jesus when he said he was going away? John 14 records the perspective of the disciples in that moment when, all of a sudden things were going to change. Jesus reminded them that he would not leave them as orphans but that he was coming again. But my guess is that the disciples were more concerned about today rather than tomorrow. In fact, they reflected on yesterday in those final moments with Jesus.

I guess I’m not all that unusual to be reflective. Perhaps it’s not an age thing at all but, a season. As we enter into the holiday season, advent been a significant spiritual experience, let us take time to reflect before we jump into a new year. This year, as I like the advent candle and turn the page on the calendar, while I anticipate Christ return I also reflect on my own experience in life.

Regrets? Not for me, at least yet. It is more about the joy of the wonderful work that God has done on my behalf through his great love and grace. Nothing that I’ve done at all. Perhaps I become reflective of the tremendous blessings that I’ve experienced in life. Friendships gained. Faith experienced. Fond memories. To those whom I have known that have contributed to my life, I am grateful.

Advent for me is was about the blessings that I experience and through my faith, I can rejoice!

Think Thankfully!

What are you thankful for? If you have to take time to think of something, you may not be really that thankful. Thankfulness should flow off our tongue easily and quickly! 

Think thankfully is a way of life! Every American and most in developed countries should be thankful. We are not entitled to what we have but we are blessed beyond compare! I don’t think I would be wrong to say that 99% of Americans are wealthier than most people of underdeveloped countries! Research proves me right. 

We have been given much! The facts don’t lie. Americans as well as most others in developed countries are wealthy! We have more than we deserve! Am I right? 

My challenge today is an obvious one. We need to be thankful. The Bible tells us, “...whatever is pure or lovely, think on these things....” (Philippians 4:8) Why? Our minds often trick us. We can think ourselves into negative behaviors. We can convince ourselves that we don’t have enough. We are less content! 

This Thanksgiving, we should think about the bounty of blessings we have! God has blessed us without exception! If you are reading this article, you are fortunate enough to have technology and likely a computer that most don’t! 

So, think thankfully! Be content and realize how blessed we are! 

Thank You Is Not Just a Polite Expression!

I love it when I hear people use polite statements like please and thank you. These are common ways to express respect and kindness. I think that it is becoming rare but there is hope that it will not become extinct. 

In the age of extreme political views that find fault and demonstrates insulting responses to disagreement, the virtues of niceness is getting lost. It is hard to imaging that our social norms have been reducing our expectations on the way we treat one another. Being polite has lost it meaning, seemingly being eroded more each day.

I am not a sociologist but I notice as do you, that being polite is less and less experienced, especially over social media platforms and online interactions. Our politicians don’t seem to lead proper etiquette well either! 

Being polite is also a form of encouragement as Proverbs 12:25 tells us. It is uplifting to hear positive affirmations like thank you! We can do a lot of good just by being nice!

adjective, po·lit·er, po·lit·est.

showing good manners toward others, as in behavior, speech, etc.; courteous; civil.

In a recent online reports like John Hopkins, we can study the facts and see how true our assumptions are. A recent researches shared that proper etiquette is like traffic lights. Professor Dr. Pier Forni says that the traffic lights of human interaction. They make it so we don’t crash into one another in everyday behavior.”

It is not a generational issue but it is revealing how often being polite is passed down (or not) from one generation to the next. Consider the following generational gaps on good manners. 

In recent decades, young people have begun asking questions not asked before, including, “What’s the big deal about good manners?” Or to frame it another way: “What’s in it for me to sit up straight, say please and thank you, shake hands, and keep my mouth closed while chewing food?”

Being able to teach good manners to adults is hard work. We can no longer assume that people will act professional. It starts when we are young but consistent reinforcement of good manners matter! 

The Bible is filled with many virtues that speak to this subject so well. Verses like, Philippians 1:27, “...let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel.” And Acts 17:11, “Now these Jews were more noble than those in Thessalonica; they received the word with all eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see if these things were so.” Or even in James, the Bible speaks about controlling the tongue.

There just may be a connection with the lack of virtue being taught with the decline of the Bible in everyday conversation. We can do better! No matter our political view or disagreements, we should be able to express kindness! Saying thank you is not just a polite expression, it reveals the heart!

Here is a helpful resources. Age appropriate guidelines are helpful. Read more. 

   

More For Less!

It’s that time of year where we seem to evaluate our lives to momentarily stop and say, “thank you.” All the other times of year we seem to just rush on to accumulate and to add more into our lives. Thanksgiving hardly passes and we’re already starting to gather more stuff. Even Black Friday, which is traditionally after Thanksgiving is now pushing us to purchase as early as possible.

We love the tag-lines and the sales gimmicks that try to help us justify exactly what we really want to possess anyway. Phrases like, “more for less,“ becomes a central theme and philosophy but somehow justifies our actions. We might even say that we are thinking of others while at the same time purchasing more for ourselves because, after all, it was on sale.

I’m struck by how easy it is for us to become materialistic and at the same time less compassionate for the least and the lost. Many assume that poverty equals laziness. People often say that if people work hard enough they can get ahead but, that doesn’t always add up. Some might even say that God blesses those that work hard enough in which I’m not sure is theologically accurate because even in His blessing many are still poor and many remain content.

I will say however, I do like the idea of more for less. It seems as though that the more thankful I am the less I seem to really need. Contentment is the opposite of accumulation. I believe that it is not what we have that defines who we are but it is in what we give that demonstrates best! 

I love the church sign I saw one time that had the simple phrase, “Do you do ThanksLiving?” Having a grateful heart is a lifestyle more than just a simple list of actions. It is a way of life. It’s not just a season of the year that we return thanks but it is an ever present and common expression that lives in the heart.

Perhaps this year we need to not just celebrate the holiday of Thanksgiving but we need to commit ourselves to a way of living that is both generous and kind. As we enter into a season of giving, Let’s decide that our greatest need is actually to give and not receive, to be grateful and not greedy!