This is my friend who allowed us to fish on his pond. This is my grandson. Mentoring article here.
I just left a conversation, one of many that I have these days. It was just two guys having a discussion about life. For men it’s especially important because we don’t always have our emotions in a space of vulnerability. Too often we put a shallow around ourselves as men.
OK, women do it too, but I can relate with men in this way.
I see it everywhere that I go. When I attend a Bible study of men or fellowship of Christian guys, it shows up more often than it should. You know, I don’t want anybody to know my secrets. Somehow, we keep things bottled up.
Most people desire deep relationships but are often unprepared for the responsibility they require. A stranger can disappoint you only a little, but those closest to you have the greatest ability to bless or wound.
Men can be deeply wounded. Men can often struggle with intimacy and vulnerabilities. Men can struggle with addictions. Men can isolate too easily. Men especially need friends.
For some reason, we don’t know how to communicate with other men. I know, that’s a generalization, and it is probably sexist, but, I think this article is written to many if that most men.
At least those that I know keep many things bottled up.
1. Depth Requires Trust.
First, I think we need to establish a baseline which begins at the level of trust. We don’t want to break that trust because it is a sacred bond among gentlemen.
When I was a chaplain for the police department, I had to keep things confidential because I wanted to make sure that I do not violate the trust that people have put in me.
Consider the following:
- Trust is built slowly and lost quickly.
- Every meaningful relationship rests upon confidence and faithfulness.
- Proverbs 3:5 reminds us that our trust begins with God.
2. Depth Requires Grace.
With every layout is deep relational experience come the importance of stewarding well and valuing the depth of the friendship. In these relationships we demonstrate grace that excels.
Grace is a gift from God who values us deeply! Grace is something we give to others as well. It doesn’t make excuses for bad behaviors, yet it not pushed away by repulsive living. We care deeply to be honest and loving.
3. Depth Requires Investment.
- The longer we know someone, the more opportunities exist for misunderstanding.
- Healthy relationships survive because grace outweighs perfection (Ephesians 4:32).
3. Depth Requires Investment.
• Time
• Listening
• Shared experiences
• Encouragement
• Listening
• Shared experiences
• Encouragement
Relationships never drift toward intimacy; they drift toward distance unless intentionally nurtured.
4. Depth Brings Greater Joy.
• Ecclesiastes 4 reminds us that life is richer when shared.
• Deep friendships and faithful church relationships provide lasting strength.
Conclusion: The goal is not to avoid complicated relationships but to become the kind of person who loves well when relationships become complicated.
I don’t know the origin of this statement but I like it.
“The deepest relationships are not those that never face difficulty, but those that learn to love through difficulty.”
