Affirmation Is Leadership: #7 Appreciate Genuinely. An 11-Part Series.

Saying thank you or showing appreciation in general does not require leadership qualities. Everyone can show appreciation. As a leader however, when you do show appreciation in a genuine way it does convey something that is above and beyond typical expectations of leadership.

Every leader differentiates from management or supervision when they don’t just correct behaviors or follow policies but they actually encourage the strengths and abilities of those that they lead. It is especially true as leaders recognize the potential they see. Whether a CEO of a major corporation or the president of a small organization, leadership takes on a new depth when a leader shows appreciation.

To demonstrate genuineness in leadership you must convey a heart felt and intentional act of kindness toward someone or as you develop a recognition program in your organization. People don’t notice the things we do for them until we stop doing them. Our genuine affirmation isn’t always noticed but it does make a difference.

For leaders who go beyond simple politics or niceness, it demonstrates a giving attitude and nurtured opportunities for those around they lead. This is more of an art than a science because it requires an individual being creative, while working in appropriate ways, to show not only warmth but interest in helping others develop personally and professionally. Attitude is key while showing healthy boundaries as well. Catching someone doing something according to your mission or goals is what a true leader looks for in their workers. Showing appreciation requires a leader to highlight what is in accordance to the mission, goals, and objectives of the organization.

Leaders may convey appreciation in some of the following ways;

1. Saying thank you. Leaders express thanks-giving, which is important because it shows that they are aware of what is being accomplished in the organization. It is in-part giving recognition to those that are doing the work.

2. Creating memorable moments through celebrations is another way that leaders can communicate their appreciation to the team.

Highlighting milestones and achievement of goals is important. In doing so, as a group it conveys trust in individuals as well as showing the genuine appreciation that people long for.

3. Writing notes is important especially when it is a consistent activity that is not isolated to one individual. One thing that a leader doesn’t want to do is to convey favortism. It can create a misunderstanding and often conveyors an inappropriate action. Activities such as sending flowers or other gifts is not appropriate because it’s not something that can be conveyed consistently across all of your employees. For an office where there is only one administrative leader it could be misunderstood as well but providing a gift from the leadership board is an act of genuine appreciation.

4. Making a public statement of appreciation is also an effective way of conveying trust and appreciation but it also establishes the example of the mission being fulfilled. Certain values that are consistent to your mission help create the culture and developing the culture of appreciation which also helps others in management to follow the leader.

Leadership is affirmation. Shown through actions and words affirmation helps convey the importance of your team and it elevates the status of every individual. By doing this helps those that may not work as hard or demonstrates well their commitment to the team and the organization’s values and mission.

Read article #8 here. 

Affirmation Is Leadership: #6 Meaningful Moments. An 11-Part Series.

There is a completely different meaning for those who are managers from those who lead. While some skills are transferable the in results are very different. Play were gonna look at those definitions but most importantly we are going to find that leaders look for meaningful moments in the relationship to deepen one’s understanding of themselves and how they relate to the organization.

Manager look for teachable moments. They rely on performance reviews and evaluations that help point out ways someone could improve. The manager is always looking at the bottom line in the end results. They see people as utilities that help them reach their objectives. Some managers use leadership tactics but their bottom line is still the objective.

Leaders are like coaches. A coach is always looking for that meaningful moment where they could reinforce the skills and strengths of an individual that would help them to perform better in their development. Coaches look for opportunities to stretch their players. Leaders are very influential because they look for opportunities to have meaningful moments. Leaders know that if someone else succeeds, it is an opportunity to celebrate victories.

I believe that leadership equals affirmation. It is not enough to just say, "Good job." It is most important to celebrate the victories of each employee, player, and others in lthr organization.

Leaders are not threatened by the wins of others. Leaders, in fact look for ways to make celebrations meaningful moments. This helps others to achieve more because of the affirmation from leadership.

Leadership is about affirmation especially because of meaningful moments. Within every organization you will find people who have leadership skills; that is the ability to affirm others and celebrate meaningful moments.

Read article #7 here.

Affirmation Is Leadership: #5 Renewing the Soul. An 11-Part Series.

Some people wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it’s morning." Others wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord." Which side of the morning do you wake up on?
If you lead people with excellence you likely are the kind of person that wakes up in the morning with a positive outlook on life. It’s this kind of leadership that will raise the tide for everyone in your organization. Your leadership is reflected by those you serve.

I have seen it over and over again whether in the board room of a large company, meeting room of a not-for-profit organization, or among those on the factory floor, people in the organization reflect their leader. I’ve had many occasions to work with churches over the years; even pastored a few. These organizations are not exempt from the characteristics of their leader. People tend to look like and act like those that lead them. Positive or negative, upbeat or disheartened, excitable or dreary, all have been influenced by their leader.

 

A leader that is effective is someone who renews the soul of others. They are not the kind of people that draw energy out of others but rather the kind of people that energize those around them. I don’t believe that it’s just a personality trait but it’s a characteristic, whether intentional or natural, that good leaders communicate. Leaders who affirm other leaders in the organization build up those around them.

Leadership is defined by AFFIRMATION; the ability to affirm others. In this article the focus is in the renewal of the soul. A manager is often bossy and can discourage but a leader renews the soul. A leader will lift other’s burden and find ways to encourage the heart and soul.

To affirm is leadership -- Leaders build up not tear-down! 

To affirm is to build others up. Leaders are effective when they use compliments or cheer for others even if it means not getting any credit for wins in the organization. The ability to renew the soul of others is key to being a positive and impactful leader.

Read article #6 here.

Affirmation Is Leadership: #4 Influence. An 11-Part Series.

Those in authority possess power for good or bad. Their role in any organization is both commanding and controlling. Most in those roles are not prepared to be a leader however. Leadership is not just about the position you hold in your organization, it is about having influence. Those that possess influence know that it is a privelage not a right. To possess influence is a fickle business.

AFFIRMATION #4: INFLUENCE.
John C. Maxwell has been known for his most popular saying, "Leadership is influence." He has likely said this 100,000 times over the years and has written many best seller books to prove this maxim over-and-over.

I contend that leadership is about affirmation and over these next few articles I plan to spell out the meaning of leadership by writing a principle article spelling out affirmation. The first three are attentive to others, recognizing that feelings matter, and being fun-loving. Why? It is in these qualities that leaders convey trust, fairness, and humanness. These are significant and they may contribute to one’s influence but the principle stands alone in that leadership is influence.

It isn’t just because Maxwell says so; that is already proven. It is observed in nearly every church, organization, business, executive management team, and in government. If you can win friends and influence people, you can win! Carnegie was and is right! Being influential positions people with the ability to lead. Maxwell is right as well when he wrote about the 5-Levels of Leadership. The weakest of levels is positional leadership with the strongest level being based on influence.

So how does this relate to affirmation? It relates because as we have influence it is most notably because people like us, or because of a freely given position to leading others. When we have influence we are able to convey a quality of mutuality and trust. Likely this is part of the affirmation continuum. First comes trust, fairness, and humanness.

To lead requires the ability of affirmation through influence. It happens that as we possess more than positional leadership we rise to a level where those who follow permit us to lead, therefore feeling and believing in our leadership. Not a small task mind you. When people freely follow, and even are led by our influence, this demonstrates authentic leadership at its core.

Leadership Article #5

Affirmation Is Leadership: #3 Fun-loving. An 11-Part Series.

Leading isn’t boring! It isn’t intended to be dull or a drag. To lead is not just about giving a commanding presence, it is about setting the tone and attitude of the organization and those who give serve it’s mission.


AFFIRMATION #3: FUN-Loving.
John Maxwell speaks on attitude in book, Developing the Leader Within (2005) when he writes, "A leader's attitude is caught by his or her followers more quickly than his or her actions." I believe that leaders who learn to laugh, lighten up, and bring fun to an organization are truly the successful ones. People follow those with good attitudes and positive outlooks in life.

In biblical terms we find many helpful definitions of leadership including having a good attitude. Philippians is full of passages that strengthen the importance having a good attitude.

Philippians 2:4-5 -- Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.

In the day and age that we live it’s important more than ever before that leaders demonstrate healthy humor. So often we hear about leaders who act in inappropriate ways or use their position of power to manipulate. Workplace harassment and inappropriate actions have served to bring injury and lack of trust in the workplace.

Of course, there are healthy ways to communicate a fun loving spirit. Comedians and sitcom shows often convey humor in less than appropriate ways but true leaders maintain integrity without setting aside a good sense of humor. They neither put one another down nor single anyone out to convey humor. Being human means allowing yourself levity and helping your team feel good about the organization they serve. Maxwell said it best when he said that "people buy into the leader before they buy into the vision."

Leaders are affirming and part of that includes being fun-loving. People respond to a positive attitude at work. Managers often employee different strategies of threat or pressure to get what they want done but true leaders have followers because of their quick wit, humor, and good attitude. Good leaders lead by walking around in order for there be opportunities to develop good will among employees.

Leadership is affirmation and not only does it include being attentive to needs, it also understands that feelings matter. It also includes the ability to be fun-loving.

Leadership Article #4

Affirmation Is Leadership: #2 Feelings Matter. An 11-Part Series.

Leadership is mostly about affirmation. Over the next several weeks I will be exploring this topic by spelling out principles using the letters for AFFIRMATION. There are many books that have been written on this very topic. Most talk a great deal about leading others but they don’t clearly convey how leaders lead. They assume that there are natural born leaders or that being in a position of authority is equal to leadership.

In this article I propose that feelings matter and leaders need to be aware of this. So often leaders are told that they should not care about what people think or what people feel but I contend that leaders must care about the feelings of others. We are people and we have feelings. This is part of the human condition and in fact it is what makes us very human. Managers often see people as simply utilities, resources that fulfill objectives.

AFFIRMATION #2: FEELINGS matter.

Leaders acknowledge that we have feelings. Leaders don’t make decisions based on feelings however the old adage is true; "People may not remember what you do or say but they will remember how you made them feel." Leaders acknowledge that people are human and that their feelings are part of who they are. People offer themselves with abilities but they also bring feelings. Feelings are necessary when working with others; empathy is vital to successful leadership.

Authenticity is vital for leaders if they want to be trusted. People are not robots, taking orders mindlessly. Many managers miss this essential truth, feelings matter. Being heard is a feeling that creates trust and can lead to further engagement in the mission or objective. Leadership means affirmation that includes feelings of others. In fact, those in authority do better if they also share vulnerabilities of their own. It shows your need of others and this can develop a team spirit.
Doug Sunheim says that leaders often hide their feelings in fear of loosing control staying at arms length. Sunheim says, "But in reality, doing so diminishes our control and weakens our capacity to lead...."

Emotions are critical to everything a leader must do: build trust, strengthen relationships, set a vision, focus energy, get people moving, make tradeoffs, make tough decisions, and learn from failure. Without genuine emotion these things always fall flat and stall. You need emotion on the front end to inform prioritization. You need it on the back end to motivate and inspire. Leadership & Emotions according to Doug Sundheim

Affirming others means being willing to connect with others on an emotional basis. Feelings matter!

Leadership Article #3

Affirmation Is Leadership: #1 Leaders are Attentive. An 11-Part Series.

Leadership is something everybody talks about and many believe that they are living it out. Many training conferences on leadership teach that it is about getting results or getting others to do what you want but that isn’t the whole picture. Many confuse management and leadership. I have discovered that leaders are people who affirm others. They work to build others up and to bring out the leadership qualities and others. They are seldom threatened by others but strive to bring others into leadership. They share the responsibility and the rewards. Leadership has less to do with yourself and more to do with others.

Over the next few weeks I will be exploring this topic I talking about how leaders a firm others. I will be using the letter that spell out AFFIRMATION in the next few articles; it is about motivating and encouraging others.

AFFIRMATION #1: ATTENTIVE to the needs of others.

When I worked at Indiana Wesleyan University I was able to attend their Society of World Changers when they inducted S. Truett Cathy, founder of Chick-fil-A. He was given the opportunity to speak about some of his leadership beliefs. One of the most profound and humorous things and he stated that day was; "How do you know when someone needs encouragement?" He continued, "When they are breathing!"


A leader is someone who begins their leadership by attending to the needs of others. Leaders guide. Leaders listen. They are less a boss and more like a coach. Leaders that manage do little more than getting people to do things. Leaders engage people!

Managers are not necessarily leaders. I contend that while these people may be in a leadership position they do not necessarily have the influence necessary to lead effectively. Managers put the organization or task before the person. Leaders put the person first. You may think to yourself that the organization may suffer with this kind of leader ship but I contend that the leader makes every effort to raise the awareness of not only a person’s potential but also the opportunities within the organization as well. Lift up a person and you lift up the organization they serve.

All throughout Scripture you find examples of affirmation. Throughout the New Testament you find many expressions that include the words, "one another". Go ahead and do a Bible search and you’ll find many passages that talk about encouraging and spurring on "one another." Each of these expressions in the scripture talk a great deal about the needs that all of us have. Love one another. Serve one another. Encourage one another. Motivate one another. Remain faithful to one another.

Submit to one another.


Leaders attend to needs. In fact as the leader attends to the needs of others it engages and strengthens those they lead but the organization as well. Think about your most basic needs. Your needs are what sustain your life or happiness or what motivate you to get up in the morning. As a leader cultivates you and meets your needs you will inevitably accomplish more.

Leadership equals affirmation. The first letter that helps define what a true leader is starts with being ATTENTIVE to needs. Whether it’s simply listening or providing sincere encouragement or even giving direction, you are meeting needs and putting people first.

Leadership is attending to the needs of others; it is worth the investment and the return on this investment in people has heavy rewards for them and for the leader.

Leadership Article #2

Things We Say But Cannot Take Back: Dangerous Sayings.

You and I have done it! We have said something to someone that we wish we could take back. Maybe in anger we have voiced our thoughts in damaging words. You may be like me, I have said something to someone that was not intended to be critical or harsh but it happened. In recent days I have been known for losing my filter; that is I have put to voice what was on my mind. Thankfully it is said more often in humor and with a good attitude. At times it is a joke or a funny expression that comes out at the wrong time. While it may not have hurt anyone it is never-the-less something that is said that I cannot take back.

We all do it and we all wish we could turn back the clock or find ways to apologize for what we shouldn’t have said. Having a clear conscience has meaning. We wish we could have said something or done something to someone differently. Here are some of the common attitudes and sayings that we may have done or said. 

There are two perspectives that contribute to the way we treat others. Too often our attitudes and beliefs determine how we act and the motives behind what we say. 

1. Attitudes become patterns that can contribute to hurtful things. 

What are our motives behind what we say? There are selfish motivations that stir our attitudes and they can contribute to hurtful things. 

Words in themselves may not be distructive since it is the intent of those words that cause us to respond negatively. As we promote negative attitudes we can bring injury to another. 

2. Beliefs are like systems that control our viewpoints that are too often dogmas that can damage people. 

The dogma of our beliefs can bring division. As we develop beliefs without love we can cause damage in relationships. Cultural differences, experiences, and world views can create such systems that exist and can cause hurtful things to be said. Without love our beliefs are not rooted in a healthy context of relationship. Even the Apostle Paul in the scriptures states that being present with giftedness and talents and lacking love we are a resounding gong (I Corinthians 13). It is like an empty chamber that echoes hollow. 

We say things we don’t mean that become realities. Words have the power to create. What we say becomes real. God made us into beings with the power to create. Realities take on life that will control us and often restrict us. It begins with our spoken words.

Proverbs 16:23 -- From a wise mind comes wise speech; the words of the wise are persuasive.

Phrases we say can bring bitter hurts or bring healing. These phrases are often based on our attitudes and beliefs. 

A. Any phrase that begins with ‘YOU’.

Statements that start with ‘YOU’ are seldom positive. They are often accusatory. They put others on defense and cause strife. People that receive these kinds of statements lose face. They have to defend their pride. 

Expressing how we feel is healthy if we maintain a heart of love and hope to bring healing. Sharing healthy "I feel" statements are helpful. Start by saying, "I feel hurt when...." This is a disarming expression because it is not intended to be forceful or cause a defensive attitude. 

B. Phrases that include the words ‘ALWAYS’ or ‘NEVER’.

When we use the words always or never to assign blame we state an undetermined variable. Time is assigned that creates unnecessary tension. I encourage us to not say something we will regret especially as we qualify it with an indefinite expression.  Never and always has no end a specially in what we say.

It may not have the virtuous ring of the golden rule, but the maxim 'never say never' is one of the most important in ethics. Julian Baggini

Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/julian_baggini_561783?src=t_never_say_never

C. Phrases that are intended to hurt or create division.

In the Bible book of James we learn that the tongue is the central control of the entire body. If we can control our tongue we will have the discipline to take every thought captive as well but who can bridle the tongue?

James 3:6-7 -- And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself. People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish,...

We should hold our tongue because it can bring distraction and division. Someone once said that the patterns of our life dictate our outcomes because they stem from the very core of who we are.

D. Phrases that are spoken in anger. 

Never let the sun go down on your wrath is a biblical truth as well as a euphemism that exemplifies this next principle. When words are spoken in anger and emotions are attached and assigned blame is given. Unfortunately so often when there is a hostile exchange there is an assigned feeling attached and then words of anger that are spiteful. Not only do we state things that we cannot take back but we also exchange feelings that can no longer be replaced. 

In 2019, we can start anew with a good attitude. As we set our resolutions and goals for the coming year we need to have a positive attitude as well as beliefs that are exchanged in the heart of love.

In 2019, we can offer words that heal. Just as Proverbs 25:15 reminds us that soft speech can break bones so too soft answers turn away wrath.

Proverbs 25:15 -- Patience can persuade a prince, and soft speech can break bones.

What mighty hope the tongue can persuade! As we hold back that which we feel tempted to say, our soft speech can break bones.

Attitudes and beliefs have the power to create good or ultimately render destruction. You may be tempted to say never and always but consider the imperative of such words. Perhaps like The Wood Brothers, "Never and Always", you may find salvation is just out of reach! 

The next time that you think about saying something ask yourself this simple question, "Will what I say heal or hurt?"