Identity: Not Who Am I, But Whose I Am?

The question of identity is top of mind these days. We have so many who identify themselves in a variety of different ways. That identity is very personal for each individual. Today, I’m not making a political stump speech, nor am I making any effort to denigrate individuals in this post. However, what I am attempting to do is to frame that question of identity in a different way.

I’m reminded of the futile effort to say that this is just the way it is, which becomes the dominant frame of how we define ourselves. The old cartoon Popeye comes to mind in which it depicted him gaining strength to overpower Bluto so that he can rescue and impress Olive Oyl. He would eat spinach to be strong. His famous saying, "I yam what I yam and that’s all that I yam" was not the total substance of his identity. When he ate spinach, he became much more!

Throughout my travels, it is fascinating to me how many different ways we choose to talk about ourselves. I know that it may be a stereotype, but often men identify themselves according to their jobs. They start by saying what they do rather than who they are. Our identity is not defined by the roles that we serve in, but it is perhaps the most complicated question of all. Mother, father, work skill, profession, gender, orientation, political party, the origin of the family, or even where we live often define our identity.

Consider Facebook with all of their many ways to set up your profile and a variety of associations and definitions of who you claim you are. In 2014, ABC News reported that Facebook permitted over 50 different definitions of sexual orientation. There are even more identifiers today. If that’s not complicated enough, there are millions of users with hundreds of other ways to identify yourself in our profile alone.

Recently, I was discussing this very topic with someone. The person stated to me that he are trying to discover who he is.  It was a great conversation, but in the end, it was very self-centered. We live in a world where individuality marks our identity. We hear less and less about how communities or families or any other cluster of people form their identity in which we occupy. People today identify themselves through many individual statements.

It might be that our ancestry can define our origin. Many people are paying top dollars to discover their lineage in an attempt to find out where they came from. Hundreds of thousands of people are taking DNA tests like "23 and Me" to discover their heritage. In part, the question of where we come from is a deep-seated and emotional experience that make up who we are.

Let me change up the paradigm where we typically look to as we discover our identity. What if, instead of asking the question, "who am I?" we began our quest with "whose I am?"

I confess that often I think about my identity. I spent far too much time caring for myself by looking in the mirror and putting on the right clothes or aligning myself with a particular group. We can often define ourselves in subculture arenas because we feel comfortable, by what other people think and act. You know the old adage, birds of a feather flock together. Well, that could be any number of influences that we use to define our individuality.

Let me suggest that we broaden our horizons by thinking less of ourselves. I don’t mean to think less of ourselves but simply think of ourselves less. In our quest to discover ourselves through selfish means, we can often define an identity that has less to do with others and every to do with ourselves alone. We can isolate ourselves in trying to define ourselves. The quest of identity has less to do with me after all.

You see, I believe that people by nature are very selfish. The word "we" is not a part of our vocabulary, but "I" is central! To answer the question of identity based  on selfish motives and selfish means is a circular argument that is artificial at best. Because of our self-centered motivation, we often disregard many other expressions that should feed into our identity.

Let me quickly explain this idea. I recognize that I am the son of my father and mother. I know that not everyone has that identity. Some may not know or have been adopted. These identities are complex. I also know that my identity is based on my city of origin through the relationship and influences of my extended family. It might be that my identity has something to do with my Church or spirituality. We might even say that our identity is based on gender. Different versions and forms of discrimination quickly come to mind in some of these identities. Even as I write this article, the Supreme Court is taking up the definition of sex as a relates to employment and discrimination.

You might say that my quest to discover who I am is rather narrow when I consider my Christian influence or family of origin or even where and how I was raised. You may wonder if I’m somehow missing out because it seems that I have narrowly chosen from a menu of multiple choices.

In our quest to discover who I am, I think that opens up an entirely new set of options. For me, I defined that externally. Let me try to explain this. By gaining an understanding of my spiritual being and not my physical alone I go beyond the constraints of my physical properties and I look externally to the origin of life itself. In faith, of which I define that from a Christian ethos, it helps me to recognize that there is something greater that I need to be aware of. I can understand that a grand designer was involved in the origin of life, even my life. My spirituality is defined by the creator and I look for wisdom through the Bible.

Ultimately though it’s not a question of who I am by selecting from a multiple-choice table of many options but who’s I am as it relates to my identity in my creator.

There is a sense of comfort and relief as my identity is not as important as it is who I identify with. To understand that I am special and I have been created for a purpose and that I have a mission that is beyond these natural boundaries is of comfort to me. As I think of myself less and define my understanding from beyond my physical limitations, I gain a greater understanding in the question of who’s I am is profound and incredibly intriguing to me.

My identity comes from God, the creator. Furthermore it is revealed to me through scripture that through Jesus Christ I can be reconciled to God. It is a gift called salvation and I can find peace in the promises of God‘s word. It is not a list of rules and regulations that somehow define me but it is freeing to know that God is my Father.

The quest of identity has less to do with me after all. Since I am a child of the living God I discover my purpose is in the care and love for others. It is in understanding why I even exist at all at this time and not somehow during all the many millennial of times past.

A very common biblical patriarch that many religions trace their heritage to is in Moses. In the time when Moses was to deliver his people from slavery, a place for they drew their identity from in Egypt, the people lost a sense of who they are and settled with hundreds of years of slavery. When Moses was to tell the people but they would be delivered God told them to tell them that the great "I AM" has sent them!  It was in essence telling them that their identity was no longer going to be a slave to the bounds of this world‘s identity. They are not to be bound by the flesh and other earthly possessions. The God of all creation has called them out and that they are to be freely identified as belonging to The God of all other gods. They are to be a people set a part as His very own!

Rather than spend an entire lifetime searching for the self-centered and earthly definitions, what if we spent our time asking the question of who I belong to rather than a deceptive identity of earthly origin? I can guarantee you that rather than defending your earthly identity you it’s been far more time in the quest that is far more optimal and it seeks to answer the biggest questions of our potential which is beyond this simple human and selfish question.

Finding peace that passes all understanding has come to me from outside of myself. I have a peace that only God can give because I have discovered whose I am!

What Aunts & Uncles Teach Us About OURSELVES!

Reflections on childhood memories are often a mixed bag of thoughts and feelings. Like me, you may have had a variety of personal experiences. Largely, because of my varied family relationships, it makes this article a curious process. Bear with me as I offer a variety of ideas and perhaps uncharted emotions. Over all, these experiences for me have been very positive. I have had good interactions with cousins and their parents.  This article is reflective because of the many emotional elements that accompany loss. Recently, I have experienced the loss of an uncle and aunt - in a short timeframe. Read on though, this won’t be a "poor me" rendition.

Uncles and aunts offer unique interpersonal experiences. Their role in my life are variable and it spans from my childhood memories throughout my adult life interactions. In my early days, I remember those times as aunts and uncles served as babysitters. They were early-years employers. They are mentors who have taken me to ball games and fishing trips. There were many different special events. Sometimes there are strained relationships that have impacted me in unique ways. Moreover, they are stories that I can never forget - good and not so good.

As an example of the not so good memory, let me tell you of that one time while my uncle George was babysitting me. I was caught doing a very dumb-dumb act of steeling a fistful of dumb-dumb suckers. Well, I got caught and I couldn’t outrun the consequences of my misdeed. I think that my backside still hurts a little. :-)

I grew up in a large family. I have experiences that are very wide and blended. My parents were also from large families and with this, I have had many aunts and uncles growing up. I can recall many different times I have spent with aunts and uncles. Some lived in the same area as my family while others were from out-of-town. What an interesting series of personal memories I have had over the years. You likely have varied experiences as well. Some memories are those while on family vacations while others were more frequent since some aunts and uncles lived just up the road.

There are a variety of things that family teaches us about ourselves. We may not realize it at the time but upon further reflection,  we recognize that their contribution in our lives become who we turn out to be later in life. Aunts and uncles are part of that contribution!

I can think of two specific things I learned about myself through the interactions with aunts and uncles. I see that these are things that I learned about myself because, indeed, these go beyond simple lessons that we all learn from but they become the very fabric of who we become as we grow up.

Think about it for just a moment. Think of your favorite aunt or your favorite uncle. Was it your birthday when you got that special present from your out-of-town relative? Maybe it was at that family gathering or family reunion that taught you the life lesson that sticks with you today? Was it the time you were babysat or even became the person who disciplined you for something that perhaps, your parents never even found out about?

My grandma with my uncle George and two of my aunts. 

Aunts and uncles teach us a lot about ourselves. Let me break down a few of the things they taught me.




1. How to be real.

In most of my childhood, life was about keeping it real. Our family was very transparent about how we felt about one another. Growing up was all about being who you truly are. Aunts and uncles were part of the team that raised you. It is unavoidable because, back in my day, the village raised you, not just your parents.

The role of raising children was extended to others including your aunts and uncles. You couldn’t fake your way or even hide from a watchful eye because everyone kept their eye on you. Most especially where those that were the extended parental unit. Take my uncle George as an example. When he caught me stealing suckers, he kept it very real. He didn’t let that action slide.

During those difficult and often awkward times in your life when it was difficult to talk to your parents, your aunts and  uncles were there to talk to. It’s likely that they took a special interest in you than even your parents could.

Even some of those choices that my parents told me that I couldn’t do, I got away with it from my aunts or uncles. It is not like I was going to snitch on them or anything. It is about being real. Whenever I would go to the home of Aunt Kathleen, she would often say that I can help myself to anything that I wanted in the refrigerator. I remember thinking that was so different from what my parents often said. My parents would say to keep my hands out of the cookie jar but at my aunts house, I can have as many cookies as I wanted.

With family, life is real and very raw. Family knows me better than I know myself. With aunts and uncles, you can’t fake it! It was during the overnighters at their house with cousins or go on their family vacation with family that creates special memories. In those times, life just happened in real  time. Moments happen everyday moments that are unscripted but very real.


2. How to be honest.

I remember when my aunt Kathleen told me to behave myself. It wasn’t like she was my mom but her words penetrated my soul. It was As if she knew that I was doing something that I shouldn’t. Likely, it was just a friendly greeting but it caused me to think differently about my actions. Of course they were those times when she knew exactly what was going on and was correcting me.

My mother with aunt Joey & uncle Bubber.

It’s interesting how our extended family keeps us honest. It may have been more acceptable in my day for the extended family to punish and pronounce judgment but I think even today, they provide a significant role in the raising of children.

This article is a reminder that the extended family is necessary. Our aunts and uncles provide a wealth of knowledge and a place of refuge. They are able to speak into our lives and ways that our parents are unable to. Their role is a very special role. As we grow up that relationship never changes. The way we interact becomes different but their opinions are unscripted and very raw. Their life experience becomes a lesson for us. Often they know more about us than we even know about ourselves but what we can learn is that they keep it real and how to be honest.

Let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching. (Bible) Titus 2:7

As an uncle myself, it is now my turn to make those contributions in the lives of my nieces and nephews! It reminds me that I need to set a positive example in real time. It’s a reminder that I need to keep it honest as well. There are plenty of opportunities to make a difference in big, but mostly small ways.

It’s those fleeting moments when we can extend our role into the life of another person. Of course there will be those fleeting  opportunities that we need to take advantage of and make a difference.

Throughout my life with the contribution of ants and uncles has taught me a lot about myself. Their  contribution continues but now I also have the opportunity to contribute into the positive welfare of  others.

Children are great imitators. So give them something great to imitate.

Revival Unifies The Church & Mission.

They gathered to complain. They even called in the denominational leader, hoping that their complaint would be validated at the highest level. The pastor led a small congregation that was nearly closed. He desired to grow the church to the point that it could be sustainable. New people started to attend but had not yet assimilated into leadership. Their complaint? He preached too long; no, he didn’t preach long enough. Some complained that he spent too much time in outreach, while others complained that he was starting new things. Yet, others fussed that he rearrange the furniture. Their complaints rolled off their tongues so easily.

This story could be my experience or almost any pastor could share similar. We hear complaints about preferences while avoiding the topic, God’s Mission. Pastors are always developing Mission as the lead their local church. They’re making every effort to get their people on the same page so that together they could accomplish a unified effort.

This situation leads me to ask questions of revival. What would happen if the church sought revival and acted on it?

Here it is in plain sight. Acts 1:8 reminds us of our mission. Even as you turn over one page you will find Pentecost. These are the very acts of revival that included the disciples gathering  to pray and proclaim (witness of the Spirit).

"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you. And you will be my witnesses, telling people about me everywhere--in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." - Acts 1:8

Revival is the very act of God working in and on His  people, calling them to a place on Purpose. He brings them to the mission. Undoubtedly this happens through corporate prayer. We find evidence of that during Pentecost. Yet, it brings us to a distinctive purpose.

"It is not always clear when prayer meetings are part of the revival itself or are proceeding it. But the distinction does not matter too much. Prayer is both the cause and result of the coming of the Spirit in revival." ~ Brian H. Edwards, Revival! A People Saturated With God, 78.

Revival does bring renewal to our soul. I believe it also does one more thing that I want to focus on in this article.

Revival brings the church together. Revival unifies the church and mission. Throughout the history of the Bible we find that gods people not only came together to pray but to also seek His Word.

One of my favorite books is, "A People Saturated with God." It was written by Brian H. Edwards, author of many books on revival and church history. His study on how revival happened in the Old Testament is remarkable. I highly recommend picking up a copy of the book and discovering what biblical revival really is.

I contend, as I read the scripture and study this book by Brian H. Edwards that revival unifies the church. We are forever, chronicled through history, dividing but revival will unite us on a common purpose. It is God‘s purpose to be his witnesses.

I am reminded of a story that you likely have heard. It is the story of a man who was stranded on a deserted island for years. After many years he was miraculously rescued. As the case revealed, he showed them where he had lived in the three huts that he had built. Each of them were magnificent structures and furnished well through the craftsmanship of many years, using only the provisions of his shipwreck and items available on the island.

"Wow!" They asked him, "What are these three magnificent structures?"  He replied, " The first one is where I live. This is where I spent much of my time dreaming of this wonderful opportunity to be rescued. The second structure is where I go to church." He told them, "I am a spiritual man and love God and every Sunday I would go and worship in this magnificent place!" They just had to marvel but asked about the third structure, "What is this third building?" He answered, "Oh, that building. That is where I used to go to church!"

He answered, "Oh, that building. That is where I used to go to church!"

You may laugh at the story but it is what the world sees in us. We are a divided house. In truth there is only one church (the church of Christ Jesus) but in reality we meet in many different locations! Those on the inside act as if they cannot see what is happening outside. Those who are on the outside see division which leads to confusion.

I enjoy the incredible idea of the church working in harmony and in unity to bring the message of the gospel to each one in our community. ReviveINDIANA brings a fresh wind of God Spirit that can unite the church and the proclamation of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Their answer to revival is simple: "ONE Church. ONE Message. ONE At A Time."

For these reasons I’ve always try to get involved in community events and networks as a pastor. It reminds me that in spite of our differences, we are still one body in Christ who is the head.

Revive Indiana is an example of what can happen when God’s people gather to pray together. - KPCNews Article.

Today, my ministry is with pastors. I am always attending minister meetings, in which I attended 17 groups in the month of September alone. When I pastored in Elkhart, Indiana in the 90’s, I was part of the ministry of March for Jesus which sought to unite the church in worship. At that time, I led and attended at least a dozen pastor prayer groups throughout the region.

Today, I even help lead a pastor’s group in my own community through the Marion-Grant County Ministries Fellowship. Through my local ministry and desire is to promote Christian foster care and adoption, which I believe should be a ministry of the local church, I also enjoy seeing the church work together in harmony. I’m challenged to ask the question, what if our churches came together to wipe out the growing orphan and foster care need by working together? Each one of our churches are filled with different gifts and abilities that together would make a significant impact on the over 17,000 children and out-of-home placement in Indiana today.

To the point, revival isn’t just something that makes us more religious, it is something that radically motivates our witness for Christ! We respond to the inner work of the Holy Spirit which causes us to love one another with great intensity and to love our neighbors as ourselves.

In November we have the opportunity to see revival and our own community as we come together,  facilitated by the ministry of: ReviveINDIANA :: Grant County. This is our time!

Read more about the incredible stories from ReviveINDIANA through the book, Fire Within by Jesse Eisenhour

It’s a B-I-G Deal.

You’ve heard the phrase before, it’s a big deal! Often someone wants you to sign on the dotted line as if you will miss out if you don’t agree with such a big deal. You can’t wait to tell everyone because you just got a really good deal on your purchase. That phrase often offers up a celebration and some high-fives.

Yet, there’s another way of looking at it. Perhaps it’s not as celebrated but the information that you read causes you to say, it’s a big deal. News that’s not so great is given to you and you don’t act little because it’s a big deal. Sometimes you even lean in a little closer to make sure that you’ve heard all the details because it is such a big deal.

Today I want to give us three things to think about related to the word, B-I-G. In contacts two are thinking about the phrase, it’s a big deal, I want us to imagine what God expects of us when we see how big of an issue something really is.

You may have even read the headlines or read the column on Facebook and you say to yourself, that’s a big deal. Of course, there are those times when it is no big deal at all. However, sometimes you read something that is remarkable, impressive, overwhelming, or outstanding. And your response you can’t help but say, wow! That’s a big deal!

In the state of information overload it is awfully hard to evoke emotion out of anyone anymore. It seems as though we are over exposed and nothing really impresses us anymore. Sure, there are those sensational times that catch us off guard but it must matter. It is a big deal.
I want to remind you today I have a topic that is a big deal!

You might look around your neighborhood and see nothing too impressive. In fact, in most cases it is hidden behind closed doors and only the headlines are we read. Sometimes we are shocked but it is in every neighborhood, not so visible but, nevertheless real!

In Indiana there are over 17,000 children and out of home placement. Many of whom are placed with relatives but most are not. Children, who have no fault of their own, or placed into foster care. Often waiting hours or days and potentially held in shelter care or in the office of a case manager.
The number 17,000 is just a headliner but it doesn’t get to the very depths of the issue. It’s usually the tragic headlines that wake us from our slumber and indifference.

I speak to hundreds of pastors a year about this very topic. I try not to impress but simply try to tell the truth about how important it is for the church to step in while others are stepping out. This type of discussion needs no headliner. Children in foster care need loving and caring adults to step in and open their homes to children in need.

My wife and I did foster care for nearly eight years in the suburbs of Chicago. It was frightening and rewarding. It was a time in our lives when we felt we could make a difference by opening our home to at-risk youth.We did what we thought was right by setting guidelines and parameters that would help you thrive as they prepared for the reality of becoming a young adult, when the system of care after ended.

It was a big deal to us. It was important to step in, as an adequate as we were, to help those in need. It is a big deal to those who step up to do foster care for vulnerable children and youth today. It is a big deal to those who enter into care through foster care and adoption.
Just how big is it? Let me break it down for you.

B-I-G

1. B stands for BEING AWARE of the needs of a lost generation of children and youth!

We shouldn’t look away and pretend that it’s no big deal. While the need is overwhelming it’s important that we truly make ourselves aware that today, countless lives are being impacted at no fault of their own! They are placed with family and in foster homes. We could see the statistics but we must go beyond the headlines. It means becoming aware!

"Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless…." Isaiah 1:17

2. I stands for INCREDIBLE MINISTRY to children and youth from every community!

There is an amazing amount of opportunity to impact the lives of children and youth who, I’ve no fault of their own, or placed in out of home placement. They are our most vulnerable and we must do everything we can to protect them and provide for their needs.

"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy." Proverbs 31:8-9 

3. G stands for GOD, who loves it when we act in response to this need!

God would be pleased with us because these are orphans among us. They are children and youth whom we should not turn our backs on. We know that God would be pleased if we were to simply act in response to these needs. Simplex of caring and loving can look like collecting Christmas gifts or clothing or coming alongside foster parents who need us to build support around them as they care
for our most precious resource, children and youth.

"Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, and whoever receives me, receives not me but him who sent me." Mark 9:37

The next time you think to yourself that it’s no big deal, join me as we make it a B-I-G deal.

Forgiveness: An Act of the Will That Impacts the Heart!

"You want me to do what?" That was my response when I was prompted in prayer by the Lord to forgive. I thought to myself, "But, you don’t understand what he did to me!" I reasoned that if God knew the extent of personal pain and heartache that I felt that He would not of asked me to do such a natural thing. None of my arguments seem to work because I came to understood the gospel that if God could forgive me, how can I withhold forgiveness from someone else?

The personal anguish and pain that I felt was heavy and that I had carried it with me for so long had invoked emotions of anger and frustration. At times it brought anxiety and fear from my past which affected my motivations in my spirit. It even became a part of my identity. I told people that this is just the way I am.

That was many years ago. While I was in college and beginning my own young adult life, I realize that I had become what I despised in the other person. Anger was often present. Fear became a guiding emotion. Hurt often motivated me to act out in negative ways. I carried it as a burden slumped over my shoulder, weighing me down. Sadness and depression visited me often. I’m sure that many can relate with what I’m saying. I have grown up in the church and even renewed my commitment to Christ, yet, I carried this is a deep wound that tour at my spirit. The more I thought about it, the more it hurt. Without going into detail, let me just say that we all can become prisoners by what negative things have happened to us! We can pretend for only so long.

Today, because of the work of God’s loving spirit in my life, I have learned to forgive. No, it didn’t change the circumstances nor the person that had hurt me. It didn’t punish the deserving abuser or bring justice to me. I don’t expect that everyone is ready to forgive. I felt as if my holding onto the anger and bitterness that would bring justice. I reason that if I simply let it go and forgive that I am somehow rewarding the one who caused me so much pain. I reason that I was letting someone off the hook. I’m not even saying that in your forgiveness you should allow someone to continue to bring abuse and harm to you.

In reality, I was hurting myself. Anger has a way of turning inward and bringing bitterness along with it. I was digging in deeper, believing that I was building a defense and shutting people out which somehow prevent me from being hurt again. To forgive is like cutting loose the burdens that bound your heart. I don’t represent myself to be a professional but in my case, my journey, it begin with prayer. Deep wounds can often be helped through professional counseling. It can often be unraveled by a professional Who is trained to help me learn to cope and deal with what was going on inside.

It is through forgiveness that I was able to find freedom. It was in letting go that I was able to find freedom. It brought hope as I learned to forgive, even those undeserving and those that I felt such anger over. It wasn’t immediate but it was a turning point.

So often that there are times when I must practice a discipline to forgive. It seems as though that as I learn to forgive others that I gain a deeper understanding of the grace that God has given me through his forgiveness. I believe that forgiveness is an act of the will. I understand nothing until I choose forgiveness.

My challenge is that we need to forgive! We were not created to hold recentment and bitterness. We were made to forgive.

Take note of the following article that outline the 6 Steps on How to forgive.

One of the most remarkable activities done during the Prison Ministry of Kairos is to ask participants to write down the name of those they need to forgive including their own name. They write the names on rice paper. During the special weekend of Kairos they are invited to place the rice paper in warm water, watching the names dissolve. This is to symbolize letting go of the pain, fear, shame, and hurt of those unresolved experiences that have happened. This act of the will impacts the heart.

Monitor Your Speed: Rest Stops Are Just Ahead!

Reclining my seat to a comfortable position and setting my cruise control is part of a daily routine for me as I zigzag across Indiana. I am looking for opportunities to build relationships and engage the church in the ministry to vulnerable children and youth.

Most days are filled with anticipation as I meet with ministerial groups and ministry leaders from across Indiana. The opportunities are endless. Typically I will set my cruise control along with my GPS as I calculate my next destination. I have a lot of time to pray and to process during these trips. I often think about who I could connect with that I already know and who I could develop a new relationship with.

Each month is filled with meetings with pastors both one-on-one and with ministerial clusters. Even this month I have had as many of 17 minister meetings but I’ve had the opportunity to make presentations and pray with ministry leaders. Most of the time I don’t dwell on any personal matters during the writing of my blog. Yet, today I feel led to talk about the importance of rest while monitoring my speed.

There is a particular hunger that I have as I engage pastors. I hunger for hope in the midst of so much brokenness. I hunger to help pastors and ministry leaders as well as a deep desire to educate the church about the need of foster care. I hunger to recruit helpers and ministry leaders to do what the scripture tells us for the week and vulnerable, the orphan and those in need of a caring foster homes!
It’s so easy to be overwhelmed by the endless need that is pervasive throughout our communities.

The statistics alone are incredible. With over 13,000 children and out of home placement and a never ending need for caring communities and loving homes. I find myself sounding like a broken record as I explain the compelling vision in need. I repeat the same stories in the same statistics looking for like-minded, caring adults to respond.

I hear foster parents often speak about it. I hear social workers who are overwhelmed to the point that they desire it. I often see it on the faces of those that work diligently because they truly care about the needs.They desire a respite, I’ll break where they can shut down the burden of their heavy hearts and to care for their own needs.

In the social work field they call it self care. In the ministry we use different terms but, nevertheless, it meant the same thing. We need to retreat from the front lines in order to care more effectively.

So today, I’m reminded that I need to Monitor my speed and look for those rest up so long the way. I need to find that space within my schedule, a sanctuary where I can renew myself. It’s not just a physical need but emotionally and spiritually, I need to find time to rest.

I am discovering that even taking a few minutes each day or setting aside a short term break is important. I’ve discovered that I can find a renewed spirit if I would let the Lord into my life in meaningful ways. He appears like a consuming fire!

Here’s a few ideas that I was contemplating doing myself and would encourage you as well.

1. Take an afternoon nap. (I know that needs to be explained because your supervisor would likely wonder what that screen on your door window represents.) sometimes even on our day off we occupy ourselves with so many task but relaxing and even taking a 30 minute nap can be one of the most refreshing things you can do.

2. Spend a few minutes with someone that cares about you just to debrief. Go ahead, I dare you. Identify somebody that you can trust in that you could be honest with. Take time over lunch to just decompress and allow them to pray for you.

3. Take a mini-vacation away from your schedule to do something fun and different. it doesn’t have to be a week vacation but simply taking a day away to rest is important. Set up a small campfire and just sit around relaxing and letting the Lord‘s presence fill you in more meaningful ways.

4. Do something that gets your blood pumping and your adrenaline going. It could be exercise or could be an activity that revitalizes your spirit.

5. Go for a walk or even a hike so that you can be alone to take in the beauty of God’s creation.

6. Sit down alone and simply read the Psalms, reflecting on the incredible God whom we serve.

7. Do something selfish. It seems as if we are always giving out to others but taking care of yourself is important too!

8. Schedule yourself to come to work late or schedule yourself to leave early.

9. Volunteer your time to do something totally different than what your work demands. I volunteer every year for the Salvation Army ringing the bell at Christmas. I only take two or three scheduled shifts but I find it to be some of the most relaxing and uplifting experiences.

10. Attend a small group or Bible study that helps you to grow spiritually as well as deepening relationships with those around you. Be completely honest with your small group about what you are doing that physically drained you and ask them to pray for you.

As always, consult your HR department or talk to your supervisor to make sure that what you are doing is an approved activity and appropriate time off is scheduled. You may be thinking to yourself, I deserve it but in reality good communication goes a long way.

I remember taking a half hour off early one day after a busy travel day, and not feeling physically well at the time. I shot a text to my boss to say that I was taking a few minutes off early. His response? He wrote back, "Good for you! Take off what you need!"

Psalms 23:2-3
He lets me rest in green meadows; He leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to His name.

When We Pray -- Revive Us!

 Let me take a few moments in this blog to let you take a peek into a very intimate gathering of ministers who have gathered today from counties all over the northern state of Indiana. I am sitting with pastors and church leaders just now as prayers are spoken and passionately shared. It is so good to gathered in prayer! From across northern Indiana pastors and ministry leaders gathered on September 19, 2019 at Plymouth Crossroads Church. The invitation was sent and over 50 showed up to do nothing but pray!

This was a very personal and intimate gathering that quickly because a sacred space where many shared concerns in prayer. Many offered very personal requests and offered up the most vulnerable of concerns.

They did not gather to plan. They did not meet with an agenda. They did not even where name tags to include the name of their church. Instructions were simple, "Only put your name and county of origin on your name tag and pray!"

Three categories were prayed about: The Nation, the State of Indiana, and the Church. No one dominated! No one dictated! No one focused on themselves. Those that prayed were worshipful and prayed scripture. Only praise to God was given up!

Representing many churches, coming from many different counties, and many nations were present, we came to pray. As I write this blog, I am also stopping to pray and write, prayer a little more and write.

Pastors and ministry leaders are some of the most passionate when they pray! They are transparent in their time of prayer! They are not instructive but inspired by God’s presence! They are not guarded but confessed failings and faults. They humbled themselves among strangers that gathered.

Scattered around the intimate room, they gathered comfortably in sacred spaces throughout the room. This room was a sanctuary of hope and thanksgiving! Many prayed for peace, patience, and petitioned for others!

There were honest to God and prayed faith-filled words! Speak life - Pour out Yourself - We give You praise - Let us abide in You  - No matter the cost ... 

Prayers were spoken for those in local leadership; those in government leadership. Non-partisan and non-political, they prayer that God would bless this nation! They prayed for vision and hope!

It was truly remarkable as they prayed for the state in for one another as pastors. The leader that brought everyone together is Gordon Henke. He concluded the meeting by reminding everyone that, “The glory goes to God. It is not about ownership, it’s about obedience.”

One of the pastors stated that we are, “Pastoring not a church, but a region. We are united as the body of Christ.” There were those that shared visions and dreams that provide hope and healing for this land! There is no way this article could capture all that happened today in this prayer movement but it continues!

 This gathering will continue on a quarterly basis. Pastors are encouraged to sign up and be further engaged if they are pastoring from the counties in the northern state. They would go to Northern Indiana Pastors on Facebook.

When You’re Feeling BLUE: Thoughts Along the Way.

We’ve all been there from time to time. There are always days when we feel blue in a little down. It’s never pleasant but it is a reality that we must face before it has deep implications.

Just recently I heard about a pastor who was very involved in his community and to the surprise of everyone, took his life. Clinical specialist work with people or dealing with depression every day. Clinical depression is at all-time epidemic levels. Often times I share my thoughts with you and they are usually very positive and hopefully this one will end on an upswing. Hang in there as you read.

I meet new people every day. Many times people say to me, "How are you doing?" Perhaps to their surprise I often give the response, "I have no complaints but, I’m open to suggestions!" I try to remain optimistic as I interact with others. I have an intentional goal of making other people feel better when I’m with them. It works most of the time. Sometimes my quirky response doesn’t come across as well as I hoped. Sometimes my humor isn’t appreciated.

Nevertheless, I enjoy speaking to restaurant waitresses or convenient store clerks or even a stranger that I come across in my travels. If you’ve read any of my previous post you’ll know that I always ask people how I can pray for them. Sometimes I don’t even know who they are but, I hope that my sincere request is meaningful to them. Just yesterday, I said this to a waitress who wept as she told me her life circumstance and what she was dealing with. I told her that what she said was very confidential and she need not worry about the impression she left with me.

People are hurting! Often hidden behind a mask people are dealing with discouragement and even depression. I’ve been there too. I think we all can relate to times when we are overwhelmed or impacted by life circumstances in negative ways. There are surprises await us that seem to jump out from nowhere causing this hardship and pain.

Given the day and age that we live, I thought I would write about it and offer you four simple thoughts that perhaps you can use to monitor yourself and perhaps there is a solution just around the corner. Using the letters of BLUE, let me offer some ideas.


1. Believe. The first letter that I want to encourage you with offers up the word believe. The thread that perhaps weaves throughout our lives that offers us hope and even encourages our faith is to believe.

Nestled within that word is another word, lie. Yes, in the midst of our desire to believe is a reminder that lies are more painful than we would like to think. To believe is to wrestle with lies and deception. In fact, it is a hurdle that we must overcome.

In simple terms, I want to remind you that you can push through the terrible deception of our own negative thoughts or difficult circumstances and Deepend upon the truth of God’s love. It is what we build upon. It is the bedrock of what we can believe in.


2. Laugh. There are some people who are very serious and believe that if they open up that part of their lives, to be vulnerable that it will be negative. To laugh or to cry, it is an emotion that we must include in our every day activities in life. I saw sign once at a restaurant when I was having breakfast that offer three simple words; eat, love, pray. I like those three simple words because they are indeed simple. Each of them a bear a resemblance of connection with others. To demonstrate emotions is important. To encourage others is paramount. To laugh with others is the pentacle of life!

I always carry with me at least one joke that I can talk to people. The good news is that because I meet different people at different times I can usually tell the same joke hundreds of times before it gets old. As long as that joke is affirming and doesn’t denigrate anyone, in the firms and doesn’t destroy.

Whether it is laughter or tears, it’s important to express your feelings with others so that you could be an encourager, touching the very heart and soul of another.



3. Understand. Take time to do an inventory in your own life. Thank deeply so that you may gain understanding of why you feel the way you do. Gaining understanding of what is causing you to feel negative or down so that you can build a perspective about what is really going on. In reality, it may be  just a temporary host of a negative emotion that will pass in a few days but if it is much deeper in ongoing, seek a deeper understanding with a counselor or your physician. Chronic and clinical depression is something that we can learn from and seek help with.

Many times there are those that we see in isolation that we should come in contact with and simply ask how can I help you? Asking people to share what is heavy on their heart doesn’t take long. It’s so important that we pray for people but that we also "listen, listen" first before giving pat answers or superficial advice.

Never hesitate To offer your assistance. Never hesitate to listen. Never hesitate to respond.


4. Engage. I’ve often said that as a pastor that if I ever fell down or discouraged about my circumstances that I would take time to make a hospital call or to visit a shut-in or to provide care and comfort to someone in need. It is pretty remarkable how my concerns seem to fade into the background as I help others in need.

Unfortunate that as we deal with depression how insidious this disease is. It often causes people to isolate themselves from others rather than engage with others. Too often we set ourselves apart from others when indeed the very solution may be to reach out to others!

I write this knowing that I am not a licensed social worker or clinical psychiatrist. In fact, you may be reading this and neither are you. Nevertheless, it’s important to address this topic and to be willing to be responsive to the needs of others. Allow them to share their feelings whether it be in anger, or tears, or complaints. Be a buffer to listen, listen first. Do not be quick to answer. Do not be quick to solve their problem. Ask questions so that you can gain an understanding of how you can best care
for them. Bring a specialist into your conversation. Let someone know that you care enough to bring someone who can help.

Remind yourself as well, when you feel alone and depression becomes a reality, you can also look to these for ideas and begin to unpack the concern that weighs heavy on your own heart. As Christians we can look to 1 Peter 5:7 -- "Cast all your cares on God because he cares for you."

Believe. Laugh. Understand. Engage.

Not Because I’m Good.

I have the tremendous opportunity to travel around the state of Indiana meeting with pastors and ministry leaders. On any given month, I can average between 17 and 20 ministerial groups that gather for prayer and encouragement as well as planning community events. I consider it a real honor to be able to eavesdrop on these special meetings with pastors. I know for me, in my own community of Grant County, Indiana, I enjoy the fellowship of ministry leaders who gather for prayer and encouragement that lifts my spirit!

So many are unaware of the tremendous load the pastors carry and these gatherings are an opportunity to lift each other up as they lead ministries throughout their community. As part of these gatherings, they talk about some incredible ministry that they provide including emergency funding to low income families or services to meet the needs of those who are their neighbors. Many of these groups collect funds in support food pantries that are literally helping thousands of people, while also demonstrating the love of Christ through these ministries.

It’s also an opportunity for ministry updates and to be encouraged as stories are shared. I’m always inspired as I attend these groups because I see the sacrificial commitment of pastors and community leaders who give of their own resources to help others.

While attending one of these meetings a story was told that truly is remarkable. It's a story written by Daniel Montgomery and Timothy Paul Jones in the book, PROOF: Finding Freedom through the Intoxicating Joy of Irresistible Grace. It is a story of adoption that clearly conveys the love that Christ has for us that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. It’s a statement of love and grace.  I read a quote recently that reminds me that our past is a piece of reference not a place of residence. This simple reminder, in part, is what we all need to remember. Let me summarize the story as it was shared with me.

The story is of an adopted child who was not allowed to participate in all of the family activities. Yes, that’s remarkable to think about. As it turned out, that child was placed back into foster care and eventually the opportunity became available to be adopted. Yet, the pain and difficulty of the previous home was dramatic and difficult for such a young child. Quite often the child’s activities were limited to only natural children in this home. One trip was to Disney World where the adopted child was not allowed to be in attendance because this was a "family event." As you can imagine, this child was further traumatize through this exclusion. The child often felt that it was because she was a bad child or that she had done something wrong and she was not able to participate.

Observing this was another family, who knew of this child and eventually had the opportunity to adopt that child into their family through foster care. One of the trips that they planned was particularly developed so that this adopted child could experience a family vacation. They planned a trip to go to Disney as a family. The adoptive child was included in those plans.

Leading up to the trip however, the adopted child begin to act out in negative ways. As the trip neared and the packing began, this child begin to act negatively and cause trouble for the other siblings in the family. Even during the first few days of the trip, the adopted child acted very poorly and would often create trouble and a fuss. Eventually the child presented less and less of a problem and was better behaved. It was as if the child ran out of fuel and all the fuss.

Later, during one of those evenings during the trip to Disney, the father sat on the bed of the young child who was adopted into their family. He simply said, "What do you think of the trip so far?" A little girl, very much aware of her fuss and misbehavior, responded by telling of some of the exciting things that she saw and did during the trip. The father affirmed the little girl by talking about some of the things that he also enjoyed about having her along for the family vacation.

To the father’s surprised, the adopted daughter quieted and softly said, "I am not on this trip because I’m good but because I’m yours."

Remarkably, the story demonstrates the grace that our Lord has for us that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. It’s such a remarkable story about his love and grace. The meaning of the story is significant. Sometimes we tend to believe that the Lord response to us and rewards us because we are good but in reality, we cannot earn his love. At some point in our Christian journey we discover that we could never be good enough but, He accepts us into His family because He chooses to! We become His through the incredible gift of Grace and mercy, not because we are good but because we are His!

Love Wins Out!

I was sitting with a group of people recently when an interesting statement was made. It caused me to think about how positive the statement was. It was like a refreshing breeze. It was like a shooting star. It was like a surprising gift that comes unexpectedly.

This message came by way of negative circumstances, like the ones we may often have. We were listening to people recitr problem that were significantly large. The problems we were talking about was overwhelming.

All of a sudden the statement uttered was a game-changer. The man broke our negative tone by saying, "Love wins out!" That simple statement changed the atmosphere! That statement increased our hope! That statement gave us more faith! That simple phrase pointed to the solution!

That phrase came out of some life experience that was helpful in our discussion. The gentleman that offered that phrase had gone through experiences that were very difficult when his grandson and granddaughter got involved in foster care. Knowing a bit of the story helped lay the foundation of a healthy discussion that ultimately brought us hope during our conversation.

The backdrop offered the context before believe system that love wins out. Win this gentleman‘s grandson got involved in foster care, there were tremendous amount of difficulty that ensued. Children in their care came from a very broken family dynamic where there was certainly neglect and likely abuse. As he observed the incredible dynamics he was able to witness how, as he expressed love of the brokenness that could’ve been generational begin to be healed.

Incredible results occurred because they allowed love to dictate and especially in the lives of the foster children. It wasn’t being patient nor was it being too restrictive. It was allowing for grace through God’s love to bring a solution in those relationships.

Love wins out is not only a belief system that brings hope but life-style motto about how to demonstrate God’s love. Love wins out says that no matter the difficulty or the personal struggle, you will always love. Love wins out is the opportunity to allow healing hope. Love wins out says that you will provide love, unconditionally. Love wins out means that you will always be as supportive as you can, no matter the difficulties.

Later I was able to have lunch with the individual who authored such a profound and meaningful expression. The gentleman stated that he would always tell his children and grandchildren that no matter how difficult it gets, love wins out.

I am reflecting on how much hope this man has. Even in the most desperate situations, love wins out. I’m also reflecting on the words of Jesus who said of Himself,"I am the good shepherd; I know my own sheep, and they know me..." (John 10:14) what a terrific message that we all can use to encourage our own walk with Jesus. Love wins out.

The message of this good shepherd throughout the New Testament is a message of eternal life, a hope that knows no boundaries. Because of the generous sacrifice of Jesus Christ, we can be filled with an everlasting hope, an optimism about God’s kingdom; through Jesus we know that love wins out!

I Almost Didn’t Do It! Investing in God’s Kingdom!

What I’m about to tell you may actually shock you. It’s a story that’s very personal to me. It’s an example of a truth of God’s Kingdom. It’s a story about an investment that almost did not happen. The implications of which may have had permanent negative implications in my life and in the lives of others.

This is not about a financial story of how someone got rich because they made a small investment that yielded a large payout. It’s not about someone who took a risk and in return gained everything. This is truly a remarkable story because it’s about the intangible impact of one life that made the difference in many other lives. It’s about how one simple decision made an incredible difference.

This is a story about how one person almost didn’t do it!

I’m not sure how to begin the story because it actually happened before I was born. Remarkably, however, it made a significant difference on me as well as others. It’s the story of generosity but could have ended different.

I heard the story of when my family first started attending church. It was before I was born so to me it was like a fable. You know, one of those stories that could have been exaggerated or the facts could have been blown out of proportion. It’s like a fish story but each time it is told, the fish gets larger and larger. It started with, once upon a time.

A grew up in a large family. I was number 7 until my brother Mike came home from the Hospital. Our family was not wealthy, though my dad worked hard to care for our needs. We supplemented our income without jobs but each of us were expected to have including being custodians at a local Wesleyan Church. My older siblings were expected to carry out the task each week from about 1965, when I was just a baby. Our family had the responsibility of cleaning the church through the mid-90’s. As remarkable as that is, that is not the story!

Before our family was hired the church had to come up with the extra funds to pay us; so the  alleged fable goes.

The minister of that day decided to take a risk. Even though it meant stretching the church budget, he hired our family to help us, make ends meet financially. Dr. Rev. Joppe was well known for having a great deal of faith. Having authored books and taught college courses, he practiced his faith in real time as a local pastor. It was because of that generosity that our family not only had our physical needs met but in reality, it connected us to the local church that remarkably changed our lives!

In the words of the famous storyteller and radio personality, Paul Harvey, "Here’s the rest of the story."

Only recently did I learn how truly remarkable and generous someone could be. while attending a special event in Florida, I came across a family connection and remarkable individual that gave me the full length version of the story. As I sat down with Ben, over a bowl of ice cream, I begin to reflect about my days growing up at the Monroe Wesleyan church. I know it one time he was a part of the church but what he told me that day, I will never forget!

Without skipping a beat Ben shared with me an incredible backstory. I watched as his eyes filled with tears! He simply stated, "I almost didn’t do it!"

Leaning in a little closer as Ben began to quietly tell me how embarrassed he was to tell me the rest of the story. He told me about how the pastor wanted to provide additional income for a large family that were new to the church. he told me how the pastor wanted to fund the additional need for paying our family the additional income we would receive. "It wasn’t much money, " he said, "but, I refused to do it." all these many years later I had no idea. Neither did I even think about where the money came from to pay a simple salary for the work we were doing at the church. Sometimes you just take things for granted I thought, as he shared his involvement in my life, even before I was born.

Ben continued, "The pastor needed someone to give an extra $25 a week to help support a custodial service." He told me that even though it wasn’t much money, at first he refused. With tears in his eyes he told me that the Lord convicted him that he ought to give the extra money.  Looking me in my water-soaked eyes,  he said, "Look at what my small investment did." He continued, "I often think about it. I almost said no to God and almost didn’t do it!"

In an instant and at that very moment, I realized that someone (and that someone was sitting right in front of me) made an investment in me and my family that have benefited ever since! Quietly and anonymously he responded to God and shared what he knew he could not keep, to make an eternal investment.

Several years later, I sat at a church service which was Ben’s funeral. I reflected on these incredible moments he and I shared over a bow of ice cream, when I discovered what just one person could do to make an eternal difference in the many!

His words burn deep in my heart today, "I almost didn’t do it." I’m so glad that he invested something that I couldn’t earn. His investment is something I cannot pay back. He did this so that I could receive the incredible gift of eternal life!

For me, it’s convicting that every day I want to make sure that I can say yes to what the Lord is asking me to do. I wonder how many have said no and have missed out on the incredible opportunity to see their investment grow in the lives of others. Next time that the Lord prompts your heart to proceed, I hope that you, like me, can echo the words, "I almost didn’t do it!" Instead, you will celebrate because others will hear those incredible words echoed throughout all eternity, "Well done!"

Period - New Paragragh! How Technology Is Impacting Us.

You’ve been there! You get on the phone to make an important phone call only to leave voicemail messages with nearly every call. I hope that people will call me back but it seems as though fewer and fewer people actually will. There’s no question that they receive your voicemail but in this technological age, people seem to be inundated with messages of all types.

So, I make those phone calls and, as is often the case, I forget that I’m leaving a voicemail and think that speaking talk-to-text, my verbal words become odd messages. Just as I come to the conclusion of my message, I will often say, "period" or "new paragraph". Just like that, I want to retract those words because the person hearing that voicemail is undoubtedly going to laugh. Or, at least I hope so. If they could see my face they would undoubtedly see an instant red-faced embarrassment. The emoji would be hilarious.

We are conditioned by the electronic environment. Just as new Apple iPhone is released we recognize that we are far from escaping the use of technology in our every day life. Study, after study seems to indicate that we are never more connected and yet disconnected from one another than we have ever been. We can find ourselves attempting to adapt to the new ways of doing things that is equally limiting our relational well-being.

We are incorporating more and more of technology into our every day life. It’s in everything including our cars, our home appliances, our televisions, our telephones, and, unbelievably, even in our medicines and medical procedures. I read recently that surgeries are now being done by robotic instruments and can be completed by a surgeon hundreds of miles away from the patient.

We are making the excuse that we are more efficient and therefore effective. I have to ask, are we?
Nothing really replaces the human connection. Ever since we were created by a loving God, we become dependent upon that deeply physical, human and interpersonal connection. There’s just something about being human that requires the personal touch and interpersonal connection.

Have you ever been in the room crowded with people and yet feeling all alone? Many do! I remember attending a meeting and having to laugh quietly to myself, because everyone was on their cell phone and no one was interacting with any one else! Though the room was crowded with people and there were plenty of opportunities to interact in a very personal way everyone was on their mobile device!

Studies are showing that with all of this technology, and it is particularly impacting the millennial generation and those younger, that we are forgetting the etiquette of human interaction. Even in the middle of a conversation we are tempted to pull out our cell phones and check for messages. It’s a terrible habit! I know for me, I have tried to form a new discipline of putting away my cell phone when I come home from work. I make every effort to keep my tethering devices away for me so that I can interact "humanly"; that is to be human – like, tethered to people interactions.

I have sat in church and have observed often how many people are on their cell phones, doing all sorts of things instead of interacting with those around them or even the sermon being preached. I too, admittedly, am guilty as well. I once saw someone on their iPad with earbuds in his ears watching a full-length motion picture movie as the pastor spoke. Perhaps he was multitasking but I would bet that he could not pass a written exam about what was shared by the pastor.

Let me share with you four simple words that hopefully, as you incorporate this in your life, you will become much more tethered to human interactions than ever before.


1. Disconnect. Stop what you are doing! Put the phone down. Back away from the screen. Your first step in becoming humanly is to unplug.

You might think that this is simple but it’s not easy. I don’t mean to imply that this is the cure-all to the symptoms that are causing you to feel less human. It’s only one step toward developing personal and human-like. Break away from being conditioned to always think that what is in your hand, that little tool of technology, is your answer to feeling alive.


2. Feel. Second step is to be present; that means to feel. You have seen people who are so caught up with reading their messages that  they have no idea what is happening around them. They are sitting in a crowded café yet all alone in a world of isolation.
In order to feel you’ll have to listen and respond appropriately. You will have to look at somebody in the eye and to feel what they are feeling; to listen to what they are saying. You can’t do that without writing many adjectives to describe what you are attempting to say in print. When you’re in the room, with someone, you will have to feel.


3. Re-engage. The third one makes sense. It’s about plugging into human interaction that is both physical and personal. It is not only setting aside electronic distractions and beginning to feel but it also means to engage with someone. I call it, re-engage.

As you connect with others you are forced to exchange words and ideas. As you interact, you are thinking and feeling your way through a conversation. As you re-engage, you are finding fulfillment in that moment and in that space. There are so many times when we have knowledge of things with very little understanding of how to incorporate that knowledge into our relationships with others. Technology gives us plenty of information but human interaction shows us how to use that information appropriately.


4. Act. What is it that compels you?  What is it that inspires you? What is it that causes you to take action? Recently I was sitting in a meeting with a group of individuals when someone shared a very personal story. It was the kind of story that would cause most people to immediately want to act. Interestingly, however, this group received the information but is if they had no emotional attachment simply dismissed the story and moved onto the next item on the agenda. I observed how many in the room seemed to be remarkably detached from that experience.

The fourth word that we need to understand is the word, act or take action. When we are interacting on a personal level with others and we are engaged in the conversation and we feel, we immediately want to take action. There’s something that is unique about being human that causes us to want to take action. Yet, could it be that because we are receiving so many messages with so much news that we are overwhelming ourselves to the point of becoming fatigued? It seems that in an instant but information will travel to electronic devices like our phones as simply information.

We are wired as human beings to respond to the needs of those around us. It is natural for us to have empathy and to be concerned rather than consumed by the amount of messages that our smart phones can produce.

In my line of work I talk to hundreds of people every month. I am either on the phone or sending emails and text messages and even making personal calls on people at their office. It is becoming much more clear to me that unless I invest myself into a personal relationship with people, that is to be humanly, I will be unable to convince anyone of what I have to offer them. I spoke once to a friend of mine who told me that at his office he receives at least ten interruptions a day from telephone calls to individuals stopping by asking for something. He’s come to a place where he has decided that unless he has a deep concern or interest in there cause or a deep interpersonal connection with the person that he is not likely to respond to their inquiry.

It seems as though everyone has something to sell or information to give rather than a willingness to invest themselves into a relationship that matters.

Since we are on information overload and likely dealing with technology fatigue, we have to disconnect in order to feel again so that we can humanly re-engage that stirs us to action. Ask yourself the following questions and if there is a yes to any one of them, I recommend that you need to take time off from technology.

When you receive bad news over your phone, is it just information to you?

When you are in a personal conversation or in a meeting with colleagues, are you tempted to check your messages on your mobile device?

Do you find it hard to put your phone away or turn it off when you get home?

Do you surf the web or scan your mobile device while in the room with others?

Do you place your phone on the table in front of you while meeting with others?

Do you take phone calls while having a conversation with someone else?

Do you sit in a café looking at your telephone or computer with little interaction with those around
you?

Did you answer yes to any of these questions? How many did you say yes to? The higher the number, the longer you should set technology aside. Technology is merely a tool. In the hand of the builder, you can develop linkage to others; you can regain your status as a human being.

Raise The Bar -- For God’s Sake!

Each day and every day each of us have the same opportunity. We are given the same amount of time, 86,400 seconds. These are moments that are fleeting by each and every day. These are opportunities, if given the opportunity can develop and foster into remarkable achievements, lasting memories, and an incredible impact.

I live in the country where seeing the sunrise and sunset provides a perfect venue because I can see the horizon so clearly. It’s not surprising that I take pictures of many sunrises and sunsets. Each display of colors are a remarkable expression of God‘s glory in His creation. For me, I am reminded and often overwhelmed by the incredible majesty on display in all of the shades and variations of color on display. While these are fleeting expressions, I try to capture something from those moments.

Our days are filled with moments just like those of a sunrise or sunset. Throughout the day we have incredible opportunities to represent the meaning of The Golden Rule. We have every opportunity to demonstrate what Christ meant when He told us to be good neighbors. As He delivered His Sermon on the Mount He spoke on many things including what we now refer to as The Golden Rule.

The Golden Rule was a supplemental teaching from the Old Testament way of life that stated an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. Perhaps completing the teaching that clearly was one of retribution to a step beyond reciprocity. In fact, this teaching was so powerful that many cultures, over the centuries have adopted it’s precept in many societies that are healthy and carry the idea of reciprocating relationships.

Researcher and author, Jan Tullberg provides more of an insight and this teaching. See passages referenced from; Luke 6:31 respectively Matthew 7:12. 6 Luke 6:27-6:34.

As seen from the larger quote the context of the Golden Rule is an assertive altruistic argumentation for altruistic deeds and altruistic deeds only. The Golden Rule itself might give a reciprocal impression, but that is not in line with the content. The advice is to be altruistic and act according to the egoistic demands of the other. Tullberg, Jan (2012) "The Golden Rule of Benevolence versus the Silver Rule of Reciprocity," Journal of Religion and Business Ethics: Vol. 3 , Article 2. Available at: https://via.library.depaul.edu/jrbe/vol3/iss1/2 

The author goes on to describe this as extraordinary benevolence that Jesus‘ teachings command. It’s not a tit-for-tat arrangement as we would normally find in a society based on reciprocity alone. The application is rather simple because it is a biblical and Christ-centered approach that sets the bar high, setting the standard on things above.

It’s not enough just to know that the idea exist but it is based on principles that exceed equality and law. It is above standard ethics and something that every Christian should represent.

One of the clearest examples of this is the success story of Chick-fil-A. S. Truett Cathy offered up the idea that is now a famous expression, "My Pleasure." This phrase is spoken by every employee and every opportunity they take in serving others. It is more than a company motto but it is a way of life. They offer quality at an above standard; raising the bar.

You have to imagine, if you are like me, what this would be like if every church, in every community, with every neighbor would offer these simple gestures of kindness. It’s not about responding in-kind but it’s about raising the standard and setting the bar. What if, instead of waiting for your neighbor to be nice to you, that you demonstrate kindness toward them?

Allow me to offer some suggestions and invite you to take on one simple act of caring benevolence toward another. Let me know how it goes.

• Purchase or bake a pie for your neighbor.
• Offer to do a simple chore for someone you know.
• Think of a tangible way you could assist someone in need.
• Complement your waitress service as she serves your meal
• Give not only a tip but an act of benevolence through extraordinary generosity.
• Extend a helping hand before you are called upon to do so.
• Ask your neighbor how you could pray for them and proceed to do that in their presence.
• Offer your tempered response with humility the next time you are asked for your opinion.
• Pay for the person’s coffee or a meal in line behind you at a drive-through restaurant.
• Take a favorite dessert for your coworkers to eat in the break room.
• Demonstrate an act of kindness to a stranger.
• Demonstrate humility to someone you know well.

The scripture says that we should do good works so that in our good efforts we are pointing to God so that He receives glory. (Read more on this from John Piper.) It will enhance our witness while also fully expressing what Jesus meant by The Golden Rule. (1 Peter 2:12)

Raise the bar for God’s sake!