What Men Carry?

For many of us, we are unaware of the blind spots in our lives. I think both men and women have blind spots. When it comes to identifying the needs within our own lives, perhaps men demonstrate a nearly universal need. It’s hard to rank all of the different issues that people face, but men often are lonely and deal with isolation.

Sorry, ladies, this article is not for you. I’m sure you have much to say on this subject, and you actually may be better designed to provide solutions for what men need. Nevertheless, research does convince us that men struggle to find close and intimate friendship. Even if they are married, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they have a close intimate relationship with their wife. 

It takes a lot for men to become vulnerable with one another. Perhaps it’s the way that we are raised when we are told to be strong and independent. Perhaps it’s the pressures that are put on us to raise a family and to provide. These traditional roles are perhaps part of the problem. Yet, I contend that it just is simply an issue that men deal with in general.

What the research says. Pew Research Center found that U.S. men and women reported loneliness at similar
rates, but men were less likely to say they would turn to a friend for emotional support. A man can have people he
enjoys spending time with and still have few people he calls when he’s hurting. [1]

Read Matthew 6:25–34. 

Jesus speaks directly about everyday needs such as food and clothing. He tells his listeners that their Father knows what they need and calls them to seek God’s kingdom first. That gives us a way to talk about taking responsibility while trusting God with outcomes we can’t control.

Nevertheless, we need to learn how to be vulnerable and open and seek the help of others.

There’s probably a whole lot we can say on this subject, and I would recommend counseling for anyone who is struggling with depression, which can lead to even greater isolation and even suicide. Perhaps that’s why I try to attend and to organize men gatherings. I’m fortunate because I get to go to many of these types of events every week. I’m also someone who spends a great deal of time in isolation as I travel.

I have chosen to find groups of like-minded men. I have learned that it is important to spend time with, listen to, learn from, and lean upon other men my life.

That one sentence could make for a great series of articles. We need to remain connected to other men! 

The expectation of manhood can be overwhelming. We may even feel like we don’t fulfill the expectations and we place too much on ourselves. 

Research sources [1] Pew Research Center (2025)