What I’ve Learned By Professionally Networking.

Seems as if every year that I get older I learn a few more things about the importance of relationships. I’m certain that age has nothing  to do with it but I have certainly experienced many years of networking and developing professional relationships that have served me well over the years. Today I want to talk to you about some of the things that I learned over the years through developing professional networking.

As we begin, ask yourself one single question: What do you have to offer in reciprocating relationships?

We have to recognize that in professional networking it’s more important that we develop a relationship by listening. It’s important to listen because it’s through listening that you discover the needs of another so that your skills can uniquely assist.

If you’re doing all the talking there’s a good chance that you’re not learning how to help when the time comes to offer your services.



The following are 10-things that are important to know as you network.


1. People matter more than things.

If you’re the type of person that is using people to get what you want than it’s likely you will not be effective. People will spread the word that you’re really not focused on their needs and they will see quickly through your motivation. We use things not people!

Whether you are trying to encourage a major company or small organization it is important that you develop the relationships to get where you need to go in your efforts to serve.


2. Personal and professional brands do matter.

You’ve likely heard this before but your brand, that is your personal brand, is key to everything else that you do. What are you known for? How do you represent yourself? These are key ingredients to understanding the importance of networking.

Your personal branding is the way you represent yourself on a social media profile or how you promote the services and skills that you have. A personal brand that only communicates your abilities but also your experience in through your education or connections you can deepen the appreciation of a healthy relationship.

High-level people are likened to your neighbors. They get to know the real you quicker than you think. You reveal your motivation and needs through your brand! If you are selling something (which almost all of ya are) you start with meet other people’s needs first!


3. Brands are what people say about YOU.

You’re no different than a corporation. What people say about your brand, a.k.a. yourself, is the reputation that is either going to provide credit to advance your efforts or a deficit that is going to decrease your opportunities. You either bring something into the relationship or you take something away but guaranteed, as you make investments in people’s lives, there is much more to be gained, likened to an investment. If you contribute to the others, you will be able to make withdraws more effectively!

Create your brand with a key set of values that serves to meet needs in your brand will go farther than you think. Your reputation will extend beyond the bounds of direct interactions. Likely "the others" will tell yet many others and you can grow your services exponentially.

I recommend that you take a little survey and self-evaluation about your effectiveness and your brand. It is not difficult to ask a trusted friend to give you feedback on how to improve your image. Self-awareness is so vital to understanding what people perceive about you. It may take courage to ask people to help shape your personal brand but it is worth it!


4. Connecting with others is motivated by the value of OTHERS.

What is most important to you? Your set of values (talked about more later) must start with the needs of others. If you place value on relationships you will experience a quicker sale. You will experience a deeper commitment to your services. You will receive a greater loyalty to what you offer. People are not wired around the bottom line but rather the relational qualities you invested in from the out-set.

Try it! Take just 3-minutes in at the next networking event to ask good questions about others and take only 1-minute yo offer only the most relevant services you can offer in answer to their needs. It works almost every time! Why, because you valued the person and conveyed a deep context of relationship that is of greatest value!


5. We all agree with values rather than goals and projects.

As you sell yourself and your services it is important to focus on values that you can find agreement with rather that debating goals and objectives. Project and services flow from meeting needs which begin with commonly accepted values.

Some people are only interested in setting up goals and projects no matter the needs people have. It is a danger to assume the values of others and it is equally a problem if we are only interested in what we are selling or servicing. By focusing on a set of values that are important to your potential network of relationships you will win friends and not just consumers.

Common values are the reason people may seek you out. If your organization or your services meet the standard of what people find of value, you will win a customer for life. In fact, there is research the shows that the next generation is more interested in your philanthropy more than your services or product. We are an emerging generation of sophisticated and socially aware people that support like-minded services.

Identify your values and find common connections with those set of values and you will find people that will be more loyal to you and our cause (s).


6. "Working a room" means being personal to everyone you meet.

This may be a new idea for you. You may already be an outgoing person that understands what I mean by "working the room". No matter your personality I believe that everyone can develop an easy tactic of strategic mingling.

Envision yourself attending a large networking event. You are one person among 100-plus people. It is a large room and you may even feel overwhelmed by so many people. You may even be a little shy. As you enter the room you get your name tag and you have a large number of business cards with you. You dressed professionally and carry a smile with you. As you walk into the room you think to yourself, Who can I connect with?  Here are a few ideas for you.

a. Know your market. Identify who you may need to include in your network that can assist you in reaching your goals. Make a mental checklist of those personal needs. These are kept only to yourself, tell no one. It is important for you to know who you can include in your network that helps you reach your goals.

b. Scan the attendees, looking for opportunities to connect. Take a deep breath and look over the room. Find people that you can easily chat with. This is a time to make small talk - not deep discussions. It is a time to find easy connections. Watch for those that are standing by themselves. Start there but don't stay there. Casual discussion and greeting them is your first step. If you feel a connection then dig into the conversation more deeply. If there are groups of people standing at a table or in a circle, find opening for you to step into the group and make small talk. Start with listening and move on as you can.

c. Get to the point. As you work your way around the room you are looking and listening at first. You want to have quick conversations that help identify where people are from. You are looking for industries that relate to yours. You are looking for values that agree with your own. You are listening for common connections that can develop the opportunity to exchange business cards. You are not trying to sell or trade anything right away. You are simply trying to connect. You can always find the right connections over Linked-In or other social media services.

d. Sell only yourself not your services. It is important for you to have a good understanding of yourself. You need to sell YOU first. People connect with people not products. People are what matter and your personality must shine. Being friendly is only a start. Demonstrate confidence but humility. No one like a loudmouth or a large ego.  You will be noticed if you demonstrate humility. You may even offer to fill someone's coffee or demonstrate your willingness to serve. It will be remembered. Also, it is important to have a good attitude. Keep your stories short. Keep your conversation lite. Keep your jokes to a minimum. It is important that you impact people. It is not so important that you impress people. Show genuineness and authenticity. It will win friends and influence people.

e. Sales only follow personal touch. If you network correctly you will be remembered as someone that is nice and polite. You will stand out as you call people by their first name and a good handshake. You must use the 20-second introduction as your way to sell yourself first. For example you can use the following script to make a good impression.

Greetings. My name is Rick Carder. I am here to provide for your success!  I am always looking for people that I can help become more influential. Let me know how I can assist you. My industry is....

Keep your introduction to less than 20-second. No more!  Focus on demonstrating how you can assist others. Titles don't matter at this stage of the game. Resumes are not important, yet. Your success is not most important to other. Remember, people are self-centered so if you find ways to assist others you will be remembered and likely called upon later. 

7. Focus on the needs of others will always get you what you need as well.

 This brings me to the purpose of networking. It is not about you. It is about finding ways that you can meet needs of others. Start by listening and you will hear ways to serve. Make mental notes and use your follow up message to provide simple solutions and opportunities to help. You need to find out how you can serve or provide for their needs. As you do this you will get what you need as well.

Every relationship must be reciprocal. You give and take in every healthy relationship. As you meet people you are starting the process of creating ways to exchange back and forth. People are not one-sided. They want to find ways to have healthy reciprocal connections. 


8. A serving attitude is key to a successful network.

I may have already addressed services you offer but I want to dig in deeper to your service attitude. It is not only important to tell people what you do but it is important to demonstrate a serving attitude. You will always be well-received if you can ask good questions. If you only give answers you will not be remembered as humble and service-oriented.

As you work the room, ask questions that draw out ways you can serve. As you make introductions move quickly in to asking questions about what others do and discover their needs. They will likely tell you what they need if you are asking questions like, "What is your biggest challenge?"


9. Successful networking is not about you.

Let me also take time to dig more deeply into what successful networking looks like. It is not about YOU!  It is about working a room to get to know what needs there are that you can solve. If you can help them in someway, give them your card and collect theirs. If you listen and hear about how you can answer their deepest concern, give them your card and collect their.

Move through the room by keeping your interactions for less than 5-minute discussions. Introductions are not meant to start deep conversation. Stay clear of politics. Stay clear of headline stories of the day. These are distractions. Keep your focus on finding people with needs that you can help. It is important that people know how you solve problems and a little bit about your industry but it is more important that you gather that information from others.

You will want to meet as many as possible. It is your one shot at meeting people. As you move from connection to connection you will need to have ways to "move-on" without being insulting. Let people know how important their time is. Remind them of their need to connect but always leave every conversation with a statement like, "If I can help you please don't hesitate to call me."  Move on.

One more point. Always look people in the eye. Don't scan the crowd while you are talking with people. Don't leave the impression that you are looking for someone else to talk to. You may be tempted to find someone you know and look over the shoulder of someone you are speaking with. Keep your focus on the person in front of you. Try to end the discussion quickly so that you can connect with another person.


10. Follow-up is more important than the initial meeting of exchanging business cards.

Many miss this all-important point. It is so vital to have an action plan that defines your next steps.  Sending a follow up connecting communication is vital. Always send a connecting communication within 72 hours of your first meeting. You will be forgotten the longer it takes for you send a follow up message.

It is so vital to send your message with a reminder of how you met and what their stated as areas of need they have. Compliment the relationship through a genuine and authentic communication. You will also want to send a message within 2-weeks after you make the initial follow up connecting communication. It is in this message that you define more clearly what you have to offer based on the needs that were identified in your initial introduction.

Having fun and being casual is so important as you network with others. Making a good first impression is vital to being able to connect further. Having a servant attitude will go a long way in being remembered. You will never regret what you attempted to do to engage but you may regret not trying to engage someone. Live by listening will always get you ahead of the competition.

Selfies: Is It All About YOU?

They are definitely all over Facebook and Instagram. You have seen them too! Of course I am referring to those selfie’s. Those self portraits that are taken by extending your arm and click, it’s all about you! It’s amazing how many people love to post pictures of themselves. I’m not talking about just any old picture but usually there self portraits are taken from their phones with expressions from silly looks to puckered lips. It’s as if as they extend their hand to take a picture of themselves that their face somehow becomes distorted.

Have you ever noticed how many songs there are that talk about self? Take a look at the top 50 songs. (Forgive the exploitative in the link.)

I observed one lady sitting at a restaurant taking a picture after picture of herself and then studying each one. She must’ve taken at least 20 pictures. Not sure if she was looking for the right pose or if she was confused about who’s face was in the image. Maybe she was posting pictures to several of her social media outlets. Nevertheless, I found it to be rather distracting and humorous at the same time.  It seemed that as she raised her arm to take the picture her lips would pucker up. It was funny to see her do this over-and-over.

What is it about our society today? Is it because of the popularity of social media? Maybe it’s our need to be seen and heard? We live in a world filled with individuals who seem bent on making sure that everyone knows of their existence. It’s a very self-centered reality. If you’re not watching ourselves as we take glamour shots and post to social media we are watching reality TV that seems to exploit the same thing. Maybe we are trying to live our lives through others that we find more interesting and glamorous?

James 1:23-24
For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like.

In the book of James were reminded that there were selfies being taken even back in that day. Certainly they did not have photography but they did have self portraits. Sometimes, if you were famous enough and rich enough you could put your image on a coin. There were paintings and other displays of selfies.

There were mirrors that reflected their image. James seems to say that we easily forget and so we have to examine ourselves often in the mirror. Maybe that’s why so many people take self portraits today. They forget what they look like when they walk away.

A moment of personal reflection…. I like taking pictures of others and hate taking pictures of myself. I own several selfie sticks that I have used often to create community as I take pictures of groups of people and post them on social media. I take them often. It could be that I’m no different than those who post selfie‘s of themselves but I love to brag on people that I know when they have accomplishments and achievements. I enjoy letting other people know that I have noticed then.

When when it comes to myself, I look at myself often first thing in the morning to make sure that my hair is correct or that I don’t have any creepy things stuck to my face. I go throughout my day not really examining what I look like but there are those occasions when I need to make a small adjustment to my hair do or I make sure that I don’t have spinach in my teeth.

I find it rather peculiar the amount of times that not only teenagers but also adults take pictures of themselves often and place them on social media. Well I’m not trying to criticize them it does remind me of this passage of scripture in James where it seems as if we forget what we look like. Could it be that we’re examining the wrong image in all those social media pics?

Could it be that we could take the image of Christ as our image? Might it be that we could reflect Him in all that we do and say? Could it be that we ought to examine ourselves to see if we even match up to the image that Christ would have for us?

We seem to make every effort to let people know our individual self. Society seems spent on forming an identity that doesn’t necessarily match up to that of Christ. The danger is that if we take only our identity and promote our individuality that we may miss out on the values in the characteristics that are wholesome and gave eternal value.

Maybe the lesson is that what we see in the mirror as self reflection is but a reminder that this is temporary. Perhaps it is a reminder that only what is in Christ is eternal and of significant value. Certainly we are created in God’s image and if we are to reflect that image we are to bring Him glory.

Taking Delight In Watching My Grandkids!

This entry is very personal. I am sitting with great contemplation and joy as I watch my grandson and granddaughter play in my backyard. They grow up way too fast. Of course, you’ve heard that before and you know all too well. It seems as though just yesterday my own kids were the age of my grandkids.

I had one of those moments, just yesterday when my granddaughter came running across the yard toward me. For a split second I could’ve swore that she was my daughter, Josslyn at that age. The way in which she ran caused me to reflect upon those years with great fondness. I take pleasure in watching our grandkids grow up.



Everything that they do is like an new adventure, every time. Their imagination is growing wild and they are learning so many new things, so quickly too! They say the darnedest things. It’s such an incredible feeling to see them grow up. It is so amazing to see their personality develop. It’s interesting to see how they often mirror our own antics and personality.

I realize that not everyone that reads this blog has grandchildren. Many don’t have children. Perhaps this is a bit of a stretch as you read this article thinking about how active your children are and all the stress that it takes to raise them. I remember those days too. It wasn’t always peaceful and easy. Yet, there were those moments when I just needed to sit back and watch them. Life goes too quickly to rush into each and every day.

So what’s my point? Why would I write this blog? Certainly it’s to remind us to be reflective and to think about the essential values that we want to pass on to our children. Of course, it is to remind us to take time to capture these special moments. Indeed it is to realize how fleeting life is.

It’s more than that, isn’t it?

Numbers 14:8 - If the Lord delights in us, he will bring us into this land and give it to us, a land that flows with milk and honey.

I can’t help but imagine how God must feel as He looks down on His children. The innocence of such little ones is a reminder of God’s original design. As He provided for them and placed His children in the garden, offering them anything and nearly everything, He had just a few restrictions. Those restrictions were intended to keep them safe. As he walked with them in their age of innocence, He took delight in what He had created. Even the many years later when he took a similar interest and joy as He offered them the Promised Land, He took delight. Yet, things did not always stay that way.
We know today that we are impacted by sin that even damaged His creation. His original plan was scarred because of the poor decisions of His created ones.

Think of your own children, they make choices as they grow. They of course are seeking independence and they have free will. Their choices are not always the ones we would have for them. Our hopes and our dreams are good for them and we want the best for them.

Thankfully that as God’s children made bad choices He provided another plan for their lives. A plan that brought redemption through His grace in Jesus Christ. Read more HERE.

Back to my grandkids. They are not angels, nor are they perfect. They grow tired and hungry. They don’t always listen to instruction and they are known to fight with each other.

It is in those special moments, like that which I’m enjoying right now, that causes me to take delight In them! I have this special time to show them love and provide as I can for them. I know my responsibility is that of a teacher and parent; one who gives careful instruction and is patient. It’s not only my responsibility to carefully instruct and lovingly correct them but to show them how to love and care about others.

Is it interesting how God uses our flawed nature to care for another generation? If we do this right, we can somehow help them to learn of the goodness of God and His plan for our lives. If we do this consistently we can help them learn of who the Bible says God is.

Proverbs 3:12 -- ... for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.

For now, take joy in those moments when they say the darndest things or do the most amazing things. Laugh out loud is the experience the wonders of their curiosity. Enjoy them as they develop and build a strong relationship as best you can with them. Ultimately realize that God wants to take delight in us, His children through the  redemptive grace of His glorious plan at work in our lives.

It’s Only a Slow Leak.

I’m sure you’ve been there too. You discovered suddenly that your vehicle tire is low. This happened to me during a critical time in my travels. It’s not the only time that it’s happened but it’s one that I can talk about without feeling the frustration of that moment.

I had scheduled a breakfast one early morning out of town and after breakfast I was getting ready to head to my next appointment. Suddenly I looked down and noticed that the alert symbol on my dashboard indicated a low tire. I immediately thought, why now? As I looked at my gauge reader on the dash but it indicated that it was going down about one PSI per minute. As I started out driving I could watch the indicator as it lost pressure in the tire. I was about 20 minutes from the office and I calculated that it’s likely I could arrive and get it to the repair shop before my tire was totally flat.

It was like a contest, a competition. I could see that the tire was going down as I rapidly hurried along in hopes that my calculations were correct. I had hoped to have enough air in the tire that I would not have to stop to change it along the roadway. I did make it to the shop and the repair man pulled out a large nail embedded in the tread line of the tire.

We’ve all had those slow leaks in our lives. It’s those times when we think, it’s just a slow leak and it won’t make a difference. But in reality those slow leaks eventually end up becoming  disasters. We can see it in our habits and attitudes. We can realize it in our activities when our production seems to slow. We can even see it in our spiritual life when we neglect the important things for those that are least important.

Maybe we skimp a little bit on prayer or we cut back on our devotional life because we are hurried. We rushed through life because of all the things that seem to pick away at our schedules. Yet, it’s those little things that seem to matter which causes us to eventually lose and fall back. We cut back intentionally not recognizing the warning signs on our dashboard of life. The indications are there in front of us but we put it off because, after all it’s a slow leak.

There’s so much that could be said based on this metaphor of our tire pressure. In life we don’t always have the opportunity to refill. Sometimes the flat tire is a disaster. It’s a slowly ticking time bomb that eventually messes with so much in our lives.

It may be those little compromises that we make or shortcuts that we think will get us ahead. We are all the same in this regard. A slow leak can have major negative consequences. Proverbs 3:13 reminds us that we are blessed when we do find wisdom. In the book of James he tells us to pray for wisdom. It’s in our efforts to gain not only understanding but true wisdom in the roadway of life. Instead of taking shortcuts let us become stewards of wisdom.

A Dense Fog Can Sharpen Your Vision.

Have you ever noticed that during times when there is a dense fog that you look more intently at the road right before you more carefully? Even when driving you adjust your lights and look carefully into the fog for oncoming traffic. I believe that it can sharpen your vision.

I remember driving through dense fog late at night from Cincinnati back to Indiana. It was so extreme that I can only see but a few feet in front of me. Contributing to my lack of site was not only the fog but the darkness. My headlights were set in an effort to see the lines in the road. Those road lines were my only guides that kept me on the road.

Driving back from Cincinnati took me a lot longer than I had planned but in order to be safe I had to drive slow and watch for obstructions and other dangers. Mostly I remember saying to myself all the way home, this is intense!

This morning as I write this blog I’m reflecting on driving through the fog even this morning. The fog is not as intense as it has been another times. Along my journey I reflected and I am reminded me that when I do drive through foggy commute that I seem to be more alert. I peer into the fog with greater levels of vision. Since my commute is rather familiar I respond to the conditions with greater confidence. It is as if knowing the landmarks that appear suddenly out of the fog that I feel better about my journey. I even drive with a greater certainty even though I cannot see the distance of only a tenth of a mile.

You’ve experienced it too. You drive through the fog and peer more deeply into the unknown looking for indicators of danger or of landmarks that are familiar. Headlights ahead appear suddenly. Roadsigns become clear as you approach them and they seem to form out of the fog. You follow the lines on the roadway where your headlights guide.

The reality is that in life most everything that we encounter is like driving through the fog. There are times of uncertainty and times of hardship. There are times when life seems to be a walk of faith where the horizon is not always clear. There are times when the only thing you have to guide you are simple roadway lines and signs that suddenly appear slowly out of the fog.

It’s during those difficult times that our faith is strengthened. Where our vision can be sharpened. It’s as if we appear into the unknown and trust familiar indicators that tell you you are going to be okay. If we move through the alphabet just a few letters from F-O-G we can face the uncertainty of the situation with greater confidence. What we experience through the fog we can also know of the reality of G-O-D. It’s as if the fog is lifting and our trust in God is what brings us through.

Even though the fog falls upon the just and the unjust, as believers in God, through Jesus Christ, we can see our way through. It is because we know that our hope and deliverance comes from someone who is certain to bring us through. Our faith seems to bring hope during those times of uncertainty.

Psalms 18:6 -- But in my distress I cried out to the Lord; yes, I prayed to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry to him reached his ears.

Our vision is sharpened during times when the fog sets in. We can focus better and live with faith recognizing familiar signs along the roadway of life. It is through our faith in Jesus Christ that we can find hope; going from fog to God. God reminds us that He hears and answers!

Wounds That Heal The Soul.

There are some competitions that only crazy people do. My two boys are only 2-years apart in age from one another. They compete in nearly everything. While they are adults today, yet they still find ways to compete with one another.

When they were children the competition was about who got the most stitches. Not that they were deliberately cutting themselves but whatever an accident whould occurred that required medical attention and even stitches, they would brag about their stitches. They often wanted stitches so that they could take the lead in the competition!

I remember taking Jeremiah to the hospital after what looked to be an injury that required stitches. To his disappointment the injury, though bad enough yet they could not stitch up the wound. They can only treat it and wrap it with the special material that would heal without being able to stitch the wound. I’m not even certain that I know who is out doing who these days.

We all have them. Many times in our injuries what remains is a scar and perhaps even a story to go with it. I’ve had them and I could tell you stories that go with each and every one of my wounds. Most of my injuries have healed and there is very little impact in my life today. Yet, like you, there are some wounds don’t heal easily. There are times when people feel on-going anger and bitterness and even hateful attitudes because of the wounds that have not healed.

For several years now I have carried a portrait on a tattered paper from a devotional that Dr. Bud Bence did. It was when I was with the team from Indiana Wesleyan when I served as Director of Alumni. The devotional had to do with the wounds that we all carry. What was rather remarkable was that the portrait I carry today is an image of the hand of Jesus, showing a wound with the question reading: "What have you done with the wounds in your life?"

I never will forget the devotional because it was so meaningful. Not that I was dealing with unresolved issues but that the profound impact from his devotional was so inspiring. This question raises for me an ongoing opportunity. Each of my scars have stories but as I surrendered them long ago to Christ those scars tell a different kind of story. It is that of redemption and transformation of my life.

The wounds that I carried where that of injuries brought upon me by others.They included broken relationships and disappointments. There was physical abuse brought to me by those that were to provide caregiving and protection. For far too long I carried those wounds that brought injury to others because I had not realized how I could turn them over to Jesus. I have heard it said the wounded people hurt others.

The devotional that Dr. Bence, gave was profound because it reminded me that Jesus has wounds because of the sin that he carried on the cross. It is unimaginable to think that one would suffer great pain and death because of my sin. To think that Jesus would love me enough to die, though perfect and without sin Himself, for my sin!

Hosea 6:1 -- A Call to Repentance:  "Come, let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces; now he will heal us. He has injured us; now he will bandage our wounds.

His wounds are enough to heal my woundedness! His death and resurrection from the dead is enough to bring healing to my soul.

In a society that is filled with wounded people, who even form their identify around their pain and scars, it is so good to know that our wounds can be healed! Isn’t it amazing how many people carry their pain when they don’t have to?

I know for me, I refuse to let wounds go untreated. I don’t do this to the open wounds on my body. I treat the wound with healing lotion and prevent it from becoming infected. I don’t pick at the scab but rather change my bandages and seek a cure of healing.

I now use the wounds in my life to tell of the redemptive story of God’s Grace and plan for my life. I can often relate to those that are hurting because I once was broken. Now I am healed and can tell of God’s incredible healing in my life. It is possible to be healed and too can receive healing for the soul through Jesus Christ!

What have you done with the wounds in your lives? 

Along the Way, Enjoy the Journey: Divine Interruptions.

I looked at the GPS mapping system to clarify for my next turn on my journey to my next appointment. I travel across Indiana meeting pastors and coordinating opportunities in Foster Care. I am in and out of small towns that are scattered all over rural Indiana.

It seems that in my last three ministry roles I have traveled extensively. I was expected to meet new people everyday. My roles often took me to places I had never been before. I often networked with community and ministry leaders.

There are so many ma-and-pa shops that sell cheap coffee and cinnamon rolls. I have eaten all the wrong things but they were so good. Homemade foods made from recipes that likely date back generations. I have asked, what is in this as I eat tasty foods. I always get the sane reply, "Family recipe...secret sauce...my grandmother’s recipe!"

Located at 114 N. Wayne Street, Warren.
https://www.facebook.com/sonrisebakery/

Today, sitting at a small cafe in Warren, Indiana  I am thinking (and writing) about how many miles I traveled to assist in support for regional offices with White’s Residential & Family Services. My goal is to build up the network of support that can assist our staff and Foster Care Parents with resources of prayer and partnerships.

Son-Rise Bakery is locally owned.



No this is not a travel log article promoting local hubs and restaurants but I have to endorse today’s experience on one of my trips. This journey was close to home in neighboring Warren, Indiana.

READ ON.... Along the way I hope that the journey us as enjoyable as the destination. I try to make every meeting meaningful for myself and those I speak with. I fill as much of my time with meetings to minimize wasted time. When it takes two-plus hours to reach my location I work the area as best I can, filling my time with cold calls on churches making introductions and leaving information about Foster Care.

Along the way I try to enjoy the journey. I cannot tell you how many small Café shops and restaurants I use to meet pastors. These become mobile offices. I use them to catch up on meeting notes, follow up communications, and placing my business cards on bulliten boards.

Life is about accepting the challenges along the way, choosing to keep moving forward, and savoring the journey.
Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

Everyday I pray before I head out that God would provide me with a divine interruption. This is a time when I trust God for a special, unexpected connection that gives me the opportunity to share my faith with someone, bringing God glory. It has happened often. I always find myself chatting with waitresses and business owners. I ask people often how I can pray for them.

Prayer is a doorway to eternity. It is a way to unlock hope and invite God’s Spirit to join the natural realm, bringing even a non-believer into things that last forever. It is the on-ramp to spiritual highways in Christian experiences. When we invite people to join us in prayer something happens through intercession.

I have seen the impact of praying for people. The unexpected happens. God, through the Holy Spirit join us! People have shared their deepest secrets. People have confessed their deepest wounds. People have laughed with joy and cried because of the heavy load they carried.

Once I asked a waitress how I could pray for her. The woman said, "Are you serious? Scoot over!" She slid into my booth and shared with detail what she was dealing with. She cried and laughed with joy as we prayed for hope and healing. I felt like we were in the restoration process of deep wounded ness.

Along the way, enjoy the journey. I make everyday as a special journey to make a difference in others and for others. I enjoy speaking with pastors who are often lonely and discouraged. I enjoy meeting people of all backgrounds and discovering how God can impact their lives, often through prayer. I make sure that my journey includes making cold calls on people I have never met prior. I try to end every one-on-one encounter and conversation with a word of encouragement.

I wonder what the Lord would do if we took time to ask Him for divine interruptions in our journeys? I have to wonder how our journey would be filled with anticipation as we find interruptions that turnout to be divinely ordered by God. I have to think that we may even be on the lookout for such great spiritual encounters that bring God glory!

Revival - How Do We Know When We Get There?

So you’ve opened up your Mapquest or your GPS system and put in an address of where you like to go. You route the best plan that it is both efficient and minimizes detours or delays. You set out for a destination and you have even mapped out your estimated time of arrival. You’re on your way!

If only revival was that simple. You might have a destination in mind but you don’t always know how to map it and especially what the estimated time of arrival will be. You might lay out certain values or expectations but the point of arrival is still uncertain.

In my previous article I talked about defining revival. Today I want to explore several indicators that revival has truly come to your community and even yourself. I want to map out a few ways that you can tell that revival is occurring. Well we know that TRUE revival doesn’t have a point and a map that we called the destinations but it is more about the journey in the experience that leaves indicators along the way. It’s a way that we know that we’re headed in the right direction.

We’ve seen it in the past and we perhaps have even experienced it in recent years when revival has truly taken route in your local church or in your community. It isn’t just an individual thing but it is a coordinated effort resulting in clear ways.

Let’s explore a few of these. What are the signs or results of revival?

1. Deeper devotion to prayer.

2. There is the fervent desire for more of God.

3. The community, Christian and non-Christian take an interest.

4. The community is impacted in a positive way.

5. Sin, including the sin of gossip and slander is replaced with a heart of love and compassion.

6. Greater unity is being developed.

Revival can be a reality in your own life as well as Church & community. Scripture offers many examples especially as you read about Josiah. Read 2 Chronicles 34:33.

2 Chronicles 34:33 -- So Josiah removed all detestable idols from the entire land of Israel and required everyone to worship the Lord their God. And throughout the rest of his lifetime, they did not turn away from the Lord, the God of their ancestors.

Revival is clearly marked by change. Positive change in the communities including attitude as well as cooperative spirit begins to be evident throughout the community. A people who are saturated by God are those that have experienced God and His outpouring impacts everything in our community.

Once we experience God in such a remarkable way we will long for His presence in our communities. We will find God‘s love expressed in tangible ways that strengthens further work that God is doing in our communities.

Read my third article as a relates to this topic addressing the subject of evangelism.  Related on the topic of evangelism is another article that I wrote on how everyone can be involved in evangelism.

Revival - Is There More?

You’ve been there. We’ve all experienced it. It’s a reality that often we don’t fully understand. You’ve attended out of routine. You’ve gone because you’re supposed to. What is it? Hold that suspense for just a moment.

Doing the ordinary while complacency sets in. It’s just the way things are. You may even be bored but not sure why. Have you figured it out yet? Perhaps the title gave it away or deep down inside you knew the answer. Is it the church? Did you say the church? Likely you considered that it could be the local church. You may even say that it may not be your church in particular but you know that it happens in other places.

Volumes of books have been written and history has been noted of revival. You may have even attended a special series of events at your local church or a community effort to promote revival. What exactly do we mean by the term revival?

Merriam-Webster Defines it as a state of being renewed. It further defines it as a period of renewed religious interest.

The classic answers are often asserted that it is a state of been renewed. It is taking a renewed interest in religious things. Scripture seems to also reinforce this concept as we read over and over, especially in the book of Acts, of how the church developed and crew. We also know the implications of a church that has become complacent as you look at the churches of Asia-Minor in Revelation chapter three.

Today I wanna give you one more idea that I’d like for you to take very personal. Take a deep and serious look at yourself. Don’t look at the church, or your neighbor, or even those whom you can easily criticize as not being very spiritual. Don’t even look to history as a guide on what revival might look like. Simply look in the mirror at yourself and be honest. Ask yourself the following questions:

1. Is there room for greater spiritual awareness?

2. Has there ever been a time when you have been more deeply devoted and spiritually connected to God?

3. Is there something in your life that is interrupting your capacity for a great awakening of your spiritual life?

Do your answers invoke a concern or a deeper desire? Do you find yourself curious about the level of complacency that you are experiencing?

Renewal is not something that you could develop in yourself alone. A spiritual revival is something that only God can do, with your cooperation. We can set up the right conditions and even special church events but ultimately a sense of renewal, a.k.a. revival can only happen as we become more saturated with God.

Renewal is something that many long for. There are many promptings for a self reflection and self renewal but it’s nothing to do with revival but it does point in the right direction. You and I have been there where we are challenged to become healthy through a special diet or exercise program. We are encouraged to lose weight in an effort to help us to look and feel better. Nearly every commercial that we see as well as advertisement that we read is a tremendous reminder of the importance of renewal but it doesn’t go far enough!

True revival is something that God does in our midst. It’s as if there is a spark that is creating a fire and we become consumed by it if we choose to let it impact our lives. God, through the power of his Holy Spirit is at work within us to renew and revive our spirit! It is something that we can place ourselves in the midst of but true revival comes from God. It is a significant event that can become a corporate response but it begins with ourselves.

I hope that I can challenge you to experience revival. To get started consider these three ideas.

1. Set aside time alone with God for an extended period of time to seek a renewed spirit.

2. Remove every distraction including your cell phone and social media. Spend time with God in prayer and His Word.

3. Pray, not for petitions and supplications but with a heart of thanksgiving asking God to revive your spirit.

As you feel the urgent fervor of a renewed spirit, invite others to join you in a corporate effort to draw closer to God. You may even want to further encourage leadership of your local church to cooperate and work together so that revival can bring a renewal to your local Church and community.

You might start by asking the question; is there more? Is there more to this faith and religion than Sunday attendance & tithing? If so, get started on the journey in pursuit of a deeper, fuller faith in Christ.

Next I want to explore the signs and indicators of revival. It not only changes you but it makes a deep impact in your church and community.

You may also want to skip ahead and read my third article related to evangelism.

Fatherless: Are More Children Growing Up Without Fathers?

The growing statistic of fatherlessness Has become alarming. It is almost an epidemic according to the US census data:

There is a father absence crisis in America.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 19.7 million children, more than 1 in 4, live without a father in the home. Consequently, there is a father factor in nearly all social ills facing America today.

On this Father’s Day it’s important for us to consider how important it is that man step up and except the responsibility of fathering as well as the mentoring children and youth. Many articles have been written and even in the USA Today, June, 2018 an article exposed some of the alarming concerns that embody this topic.

As we reflect on this topic we must also give consideration to outcomes, while negative, I greatly influenced organizations to develop an a way to combat such a crisis. The consequences of children growing up without fathers is significant. Issues of poverty and crime are only part of what we see because of this growing epidemic. See more from Fathers.com.

Another study also reveals this need according to Christian Headlines.

For Christians we believe that God is a father to the fatherless. (Psalm 68:5) We read in so many passages the importance of caring for our least and most vulnerable, children and youth. (James 1:27) As Christians we believe that we have a responsibility to step up while others step out of their responsibility and re-claim the rightful place where men can mentor and care for our youth. (Proverbs 31:8-9) As Christians we should and can make a difference.

Of course Father’s Day is all about paying tribute to dads everywhere. Their role should be esteemed and appreciated. It is fitting for us to bring up this topic but also recognize the many wonderful fathers that there are who continue in their roles and responsibility.

So let me say thank you Dad for being there as one of support and care. Thanks for being present as well as providing for my needs. Thank you for teaching me and providing care for instruction. Thanks for setting boundaries and help me to know that the sky is the limit of my potential.

For Here Or To Go?

Pay it forward is a phrase that has gained popularity in recent years. It is a concept that many are doing to advance the cause of kindness. I personally have never experienced it or been a recipient at a check out lane but my daughter, Josslyn says it happens often. She is a barresta at Starbucks. In the drive-thru lane many have come through and paid for the other person behind them. I have even seen live videos of people posting their experience as they "pay it forward" demonstrating how they pay for the coffee or a meal of another.

Acts of kindness happen often according to Ryan Brainard. He reports, "A new survey found that 83% of us do it every week, and 65% of us do it every day!" Read more: Acts of Kindness.

Simple acts of kindness are not just benefiting others. Doing acts of kindness has health benefits as well according to Random Acts of Kindness website. It is known to lower blood pressure. It increases certain chemicals that are good for you. It makes you feel physically good and the evidence is real.

There are many opportunities to do good for others. Many organizations are actually designed to promote this concept. Consider Inspire Kindness. This organization is all about doing good!

Yet, in the midst of all these kind acts and simple venture of doing good one has to ask, why? What motivates people to pay it forward? Is it to balance Karma in hopes that doing nice things for others make our lives better or we become better off?

The Bible encouages doing good but the motivation is clearly spelled out as an act of worship. It is defined as helping others as a representative of Christ. Read the many Bible verses that say we are to do good!

I contend that it is better to have a good motive for doing good. I believe that as we do good for other that the goal is to promote the love of Christ. It is not self-oriented. It is commanded as an act of true discipleship. The recipient is not supposed to praise the giver but the one they represent in the the Name of Christ.

In fact, Jesus was called good and He actually asked the question, "Why do you call me good?" He said that only our Father in heaven is good. Many may in fact be doing acts of kindness or pay it forward in an effort to prove their own worth. Somehow we try to demonstrate goodness as if it work make us good. Yet, we are not good by human efforts alone! We are considered good according to the righteousness of God, through Jesus Christ who redeems us. Read more on the Righteousness of Christ.

While doing good should never be discouraged, the motivation of these acts of kindness should be considered. It is always important to be people of good will. Generosity should be the hallmark of the Christian.

I say, do it early and do it often! It is better to GIVE than receive. I BELIEVE that what we do here on earth matters for eternity sake.

I often ask the question most often stated question at a fast food checkout. I ask myself this question to help me have a godly perspective of my actions. DO YOU WANT IT FOR HERE OR TO GO?

Are my human actions earthy, which will pass away or eternal which never will pass away but rather these acts plant seeds of eternal value in the life of others!

Take time to teach your children to be kind to others. The following website offers 101 ideas for kids.

Foster Care & Myths: #6 - Foster Parents Have Little To No Rights.

Over the past several weeks I plan to do a series of articles and videos on the subject of foster care and myths. The series of short articles explore some of the various impressions and perspectives people have about foster care that are not accurate. My hope is to provide better information around the truth surrounding foster care.

Over the past decade many states have improved their relationship with foster parents. Often all of these seemingly enormous responsibility arrested on the foster parents with very little opportunity for them to speak into the system. They were seen as paid babysitting services in little more. While it is not about us or foster care rights, it is about Christ, never-the-less, it is important that we do not burn out our Foster Care homes. Having support systems and rights do ultimately help children and youth in their care.

Many Governing Agencies and States have taken up this question about the foster parent’s rights. For many it is providing an avenue for them to speak into the court on the issues that they were dealing with from day to day. In other cases they are given more opportunities to speak about the educational plan of the child. The following website provides information as to what state provides foster parent rights: State-by-State.

Examples are fairly consistent, giving Foster Care parents opportunities to address needs within the court or educational systems. At the very least there is a way to document the parents input without having to go through a social worker or representative like the court appointed special advocate (CASA).


Since Foster Parents are on the front lines dealing with behavioral issues or medication and counseling needs, it only makes sense that they can speak into their observations of a child or teen’s needs. I often tell those that I’m recruiting that there’s never been a better time to be a foster parent because not only is there support there is also your voice speaking into a system that needs greater insight on dealing with real issues in real time.

Not only is it helpful for foster parents to know that they have a voice it’s also imperative that they realize that they also have a choice. I can’t begin to tell you the amount of times that a caseworker has made a foster parent believe that certain functions of the state responsibilities become the foster parents daily chore. It is important to note that every foster parent should know the boundaries and the standards of every caseworker and organization that they’re licensed through.

Asking the right questions early on can be very helpful to discover the particular responsibilities they have in managing a child and teen’s needs. Here are a few questions that I would encourage every foster parent to consider asking from their agency and caseworker:

What is expected of me? 
What task should I know about before excepting a child?
What are the 3 to 5 areas that I’m not responsible for as well as what are the 3 to 5 areas that I need permission before taking action?
Do I need to provide transportation and into for  needs?
Can I see court documents? Why not?
What is the plan? Will this child be reunified with their biological parents or available for adoption?
Who and how do I reach someone after business hours?

Likely these questions will begin to open up a conversation and it’s not surprising that even a case worker may not know all the answers but encourage them to seek the answer and get back with you as soon as possible. Foster Parents can and do offer tremendous insights for those who are providing support care. For example, the Education needs of a child is best observed by those they spend the most time with in the home. Or, having a perspective provided to a Judge can be incredibly helpful.

Just like any relationship it is important that there is transparency and honesty but often foster parents are asked to trust blindly which is actually makes for a very unhealthy relationship.

Read articles again from the beginning.

Foster Care & Myths: #5 - Foster Parents Have Very Few Support Systems.

Over the past several weeks I plan to do a series of articles and videos on the subject of foster care and myths. The series of short articles explore some of the various impressions and perspectives people have about foster care that are not accurate. My hope is to provide better information around the truth surrounding foster care.

This particular myth is one that concerns many foster parents. As foster parents are trained they also learned how to develop support systems which lead to more successful outcomes. While it is true that many foster parents are like lone rangers who tend to be very self-sufficient but aren’t always taking advantage of the services and support that is available. Today I want to address those opportunities and while I call this a myth, in actuality it is like an undiscovered frontier.

The number one myth that we need to talk about is that foster parents do not have to do this alone. We might even say that foster parents are very rare commodity but many times they believe that this is a journey that they take upon themselves alone. Foster parents can in must develop a system of support which will enable them to be more intentional and feel more supported in their efforts.


For foster parents they believe that the training is they’re only support but many private organizations, especially one like White’s Residential and Family Services (White’s RFS) out of Indiana provides a empowering ministry for foster parents.

As a church – based organization, White’s RFS  teachers their foster parents to develop systems of support. For example, their own church can be very helpful in providing much-needed resources and even Christmas gifts for children in their care. Not only can their church be a support base emotionally and spiritually, they could also create a community of support that includes respite workers, childcare, prayer support, & other services.

It should also be noted that many private organizations can do more than what the state can provide because they have a network of donors and others that can assist. Organizations like White’s RFS include the following.

24/7 support. In the event that there is a concern or special need, all of our families know that they can call the hotline to receive advice, prayer, and helpful information.

Support groups and develop caring communities. Private agencies are always developing communities in networks that enhance the support of foster care services. Or example, White’s RSF Works with a network of churches where they will host events as well as collect gifts & resources for foster home families and their network.

Intentional prayer. One of the best ways that we can help foster parents is not only emotionally but also spiritually engage with them. Private organizations, especially those that are Christ – centered will provide opportunities to pray and listen to the needs a foster parents. They are able to offer or unique perspective as well as bring any emotional support when families need it most.

Caring networks go beyond simple community resources. Private organizations have the unique ability to bring together a volunteer and community level of support that empowers foster parents further develop their network of support.

As you can see, the ministry of foster care comes with many benefits because of the network of support and services that private organizations can bring.

MYTH #6 Click Here. 

Foster Care & Myths: #4 - State-mandated Placement.

Over the past several weeks I plan to do a series of articles and videos on the subject of foster care and myths. The series of short articles explore some of the various impressions and perspectives people have about foster care that are not accurate. My hope is to provide better information around the truth surrounding foster care.

This myth may actually surprise you. While it is true, the state who manages the needs of children that become wards of the state also manage the foster care placements yet they do not mandate that every foster home take every child needing placed. The foster care system uses and manages homes on a voluntary basis. While there is a daily reimbursement for the care of children and youth, foster parents can choose who and when they receive children. Let me explain.

We could look at a foster parent as a private contractor with the state. Sometimes through a private agency but nevertheless ultimately work for the state and efforts are made to follow a plan that a judge ultimately agrees to. We must note that the judge is the final authority Yet it is clearly recognize that as a private contractor there voice as well as their support system linens toward a healthy outcome and final resolve to bringing hope and treatment for a child or teen in their care.

Foster parents are the front line in the day-to-day operations and management of their household. Agencies and other professionals work together to bring about a healthy disposition of the foster care plan.

There are factors that contribute to the placement and management of a child or youth into foster care.

1. Foster Parents, while remaining committed to the care of children can choose when and who they receive.

It bears repeating, Foster Parents are in control as to who they choose to foster. For many agencies foster parents can identify the age or other demographic factors that fit their own children and home. If parents choose to only take pre-adoptive placement, and agency will work with them or if they should choose a younger versus older child they can also expressed that desire.
Often there are very complex and overwhelming needs that even the most experienced case manager is at a loss as to what expect. However, working together and setting healthy boundaries as well as sharing the responsibilities is vital.

2. Foster Parents have options in-spite the enormous expectations.

It takes an awful lot for foster parents to adjust schedules and needs of their own family. But we find most often does the parents are fairly self-sufficient and resourceful, often building their own network of support including those that could provide respite services or other childcare needs.

3. Foster Parents have rights as they work with agencies and state case managers.

Many states have adopted a certain set of rights for foster parents. In Indiana, as an example foster parents know can speak into the courts and the individual education goals because they know the children better than anyone else. The input of a foster parent is vital to the successful plan, even the reunification efforts.

4. Foster Parents follow guidelines yet there are liberties that encourage growth and learning for parents and foster children.

Agencies as well as the state often develop guidelines that provide flexibility and resources to help families grow and develop. It’s important to note that many foster parents are required to have continued education to maintain their license with the state yet there are many resources available as well as support groups for families.

It’s important to note that even though the needs of the child is paramount in that foster parents ultimately do work together as part of a reunification plan, foster parents do contribute to the success of any plan. Foster parents determine ultimately the success as long as they remain flexible and willing to learn.

MYTH #5 Click Here.

What’s In A Name?

In the day and age we live we have many ways to discover our ancestry. Many are curious of the genealogy and so they do research to find out where they came from. People will spend a lot of money to sign up for these types of database computer searches. While others simply take the DNA test to discover their ancestry.

It’s a curious thing that no matter who we are we all long to be connected to some kind of history as if it will define our own existence making our lives more meaningful. I too am one of those curious people who love to study the history and make up of not only my Dutch and English family heritage but also my wife’s Native American heritage. Perhaps it’s a quest to discover more about ourselves that it is the history of where we came from?

Go into any souvenir shop and you can find your name and it’s meaning on all kinds of merchandise from coffee cups to engraved wall signage. With the way in which we creatively spell our own names it becomes more more difficult. Nevertheless we make every effort search for the meaning of our own name.

In school I was asked whether my name, Rick was short for Richard. I often thought to myself that it would be nice to have such a formal name. One day in my own personal quest to discover the meaning of my name I asked my parents how and who I was named after. To my surprise they told me in a rather cryptic way; as someone that they knew from long ago. Upon further Investigation I discovered that there was a man in the neighborhood who went by the name Rick. He was the community drunk who is seldom sober.

Attempting to find a more substantial meaning to my name sake I started investigating the reason why my middle name is Edward. As a child the cigar brand that was popular that many in my extended family would smoke was the king Edward brand of cigars. You may not remember them but for the longest time I was certain that that is where my name came from. It made sense seeing that my first name derived from a rather negative meaning. To my relief, as I recall growing up I eventually learned that I was named after my grandfather whom I looked up to and wanted to emulate.

What is in our names? What is the meaning of our names? Too often I think we look for definitions that later define our existence or the meaning of our lives. Not often enough to we look to the identity that we have in Christ and settle for something that is less than our true identity. We might even identify ourselves according to our habits or are interests. We may identify ourselves with a particular group of people. In high school I often wanted to be a member of one of the more popular groups. Somehow I thought that if I was in that popular group I would have a better identity.

Ultimately I learned that the name that I go by is not necessarily the only thing that identifies me. As I grew in my relationship with Christ I came to understand that the identity I could have was in my Christian heritage. I came to identify myself in the name of Jesus Christ and therefore emulating His meaning and His purpose in my life. I discovered that it wasn’t fulfilling just to use earthly expressions or follow certain groups to find out who I was and who I am. Rather, it’s more important that I identify with an everlasting God who created me. I discovered that it wasn’t fulfilling just to use earthly expressions or follow certain groups to find out who I am.

As we become new in Christ our identity is clearly aligned with His will and plan for our future. My name has significance because, after all it is MY name. However, God has given us His name and we are His heir to His Kingdom which is far more significant and eternal.

Read more on this subject.

It Is Time to Bring Adoption (Back) Into Every Church!

For years I have heard of the importance of being part of the family of God. Growing up in a strong family environment of the local church helped me realize the importance of the Christian family. Even though I grew up in a large family, eight children, I didn’t always understand the importance of family, at least as part of the family of God.

In my early years I used to hear lessons from the Church encouraging us to witness to others. We often would talk about becoming adopted into God‘s family. I’ve heard the phrase many times, "God has no orphans." This was very reassuring for me even though I was not adopted or in foster care. The symbolism held a high importance for me because it help me to understand what it meant to be part of the family of God.

Over time, as I grew up and went to college the phrase and importance to talk about adoption into God’s Family seem to disappear from our vocabulary. In spiritual terms we started talking becoming a Christian by choosing Him as Savior. We would even teach that salvation in Christ was followed by discipleship. There were new terms that were introduced like being "born again." Theology rightfully identified the importance of being justified through Christ because of what His sacrifice means in the Christian faith. The terms may have even been biblical but not as much emphasis was placed on family. How many of you remember calling each other in the church brother and sister?

More recently however, I have begun to incorporate this all important theology of being "adopted" into God’s family as a clearer understanding of salvation. Having been both a foster parent and now recruiting people for foster care, perhaps my realization has been heightened. I talk more and more these days about orphan ministries and foster care. With over a half million children currently in foster care or waiting for adoption, there is never been a more alarming statistic than what we are facing today in America alone.

I wonder if we are missing out and maybe not fully understanding what the Scripture has to say about being adopted into God’s family. I wonder if perhaps our world is longing for a place to belong so much so that they are feeling like orphans, separated from God‘s presence and the church.

The following are a few scriptures that reference the theology of being adopted and even illustrate the importance of being connected into God‘s family. We can think of so many biblical examples of those that were outside of His family but then being able to join into the church family.
Read 10 biblical verses that talk about adoption.

We know well the story of Moses who was adopted and saved from death so he could save God’s people from Egypt. (Exodus 1:15-22)

There is Rahab who was able to be adopted (so to speak) into the lineage of Jesus because of her willingness to hide the spies. (Joshua 2:1-24)

There is the story of Esther who was raised by her uncle Mordecai because her parents died and who later becoming the queen, saving God’s people from certain death. (Esther)
Most certainly is the story of Jesus who was born of a virgin Mary and adopted by an earthly father named Joseph. (Matthew 1:18)

We read over and over about spiritual adoption that we all can experience as recorded by Paul.  As Romans 8:15 so beautifully states, "The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, ‘Abba, Father.’"

Read about more scriptures from following article: Adoption Stories.
This is a key reminder that not only are we all orphaned and separated from God but it drives home the reality of hundreds of thousands of children and youth who are orphaned and in foster care every day. God has compassion on us as Orphans and the church should have compassion on those, who of no fault of their own, are in foster care and needing adopted into our families today!

Could it be that we’re missing out when we talk about evangelism but fail to talk about how God adopt us as members of his family? For me, I want to make sure people understand that the price of that adoption was on His death and resurrection. We are accepted and even adopted as children of God when we receive, freely this gift of eternal life!

It is time to bring adoption back into the church!

Francis Chan makes the assertion that if one out of every other church were to invest in caring for the Orphan we could eliminate (foster care & adoption) the need nationally!

Foster Care & Myths: #3 - Getting Rich!

Over the next several weeks I plan to do a series of articles and videos on the subject of foster care and myths. The series of short articles explore some of the various impressions and perspectives people have about foster care that are not accurate. My hope is to provide better information around the truth surrounding foster care.

I was on the radio with a colleague doing a live interview show when an interesting question was posed by the announcer, "Is it true that foster parents do it because of the free labor they receive and they are motivated by getting rich?" Quickly I turned my colleague, more experienced, for him to field that one.

You can imagine that if it was television our faces would have the look of shock and disbelief. The assumption is that foster parents do foster care so they can get free laborers to clean their house and mow their lawn’s.

Perhaps it’s a by-gone era when farming families put orphaned children to work but, that was 100 years ago! Systems of care have changed since those years. Similarly, it is hard to believe that anyone would believe that foster parents would get rich doing foster care. Yet, this myth seems to surface as a criticism to foster care. Nothing could be farther from the truth and reality. Even if it could happen it would be rare because there are many people in and out of their homes as well as extensive training to say the least.

This one is marked as a myth. Foster parents do not bring children into their homes as free labor nor do they get rich providing care. The daily Per Diem rates in Indiana range from $20 a day through $60 a day which is hardly a "get rich quick" scheme. Even at the highest level of pay these are therapeutic homes which means that the level of need and trauma is substantial and the Foster Parent or Kinship-Care guardian role is too busy caring for the needs of these children that one would suppose that there are easier ways to get rich.

The greatest majority of foster parents get involved because it is a calling and a sacred duty. Most will tell you that they provide foster care because of their love for children and youth in a sincere desire to make a difference.

The reimbursement stipend of the state to a foster parent is not enough to care for every need of a foster child. Most foster homes dip into their personal savings to provide for things that are not reimbursed by the state including Christmas gifts, new clothing, birthday gifts, and membership to family – oriented organizations such as the YMCA or Zoo passes.

This is where the community and others from organizations like the local church or clubs can get involved. Helping bring clothing and Christmas gifts along with zoo passes and tickets to special events make the experience for foster homes as well as foster children unforgettable and positive.
Many are surprised to learn that even in the placement of a child in a foster home the needs are tremendous.

Many children only arrive in a foster home with a plastic bag of their belongings including dirty laundry and comfort toys. It is truly a blessing for foster family to have items ready that are often not reimbursed by the state. Many groups collect backpacks filled with age-appropriate items including blankets and comfort toys.

Partnering with Foster Care groups is vital in meeting needs of children & youth in foster care. Consider partnering with White’s Residential & Family Services as one of many organizations that serve families. Check out more details at FosterLoveNow.com.

MYTH #4 Click Here.

Foster Care & Myths: #2 - Someone Else Will Step Up.

Over the next several weeks I intend to write about the various myths associated with foster care. It’s never a surprise to me to learn what people think about related to foster care. There’s likely plenty of opinions out there on a variety of issues but I narrowed with my upcoming myths on just a few.

I speak to groups all the time. Last year I attended as many as 45 Sunday church services to talk about foster care. I have met hundreds of people as I get directed at the churches and in the communities. A popular notion that people have is the idea that someone will step up so they don’t have to. Curiously this idea is often coupled with the belief that people have that they do not possess the skill to do foster care, even though they have raised their own children and maybe even grandchildren.

I’m certain that people are not trying to make an excuse for them selves and circumstances in their own home are good excuses for why people should not do foster care yet, these assumptions are myths.

I don’t want to give off the wrong impression. Doing foster care is hard work. There’s a variety of concerns and issues that are valid because of the hardships associated with foster care. Yet, I believe what people are often saying is that they believe there are enough foster parents out there that they need that consider doing at themselves.

In reality, at least in the state of Indiana, there are not enough homes for the number of children being referred by the state and in need of a foster home. Caseworker’s often make multiple calls to various groups and agencies in hopes to identify a home with in the county where the child is from. In Indiana there are 15,000 children in out-of-home placement. The state managers the caseloads of children in need of service and depend heavily on County foster homes as well as private placement agencies. Yet, even among the many that there are, there is still a shortage of homes. This results in children having to wait in offices or placed an emergency shelter facilities until a home becomes available. Even the number of children who are eligible for adoption is significant.

I will often say in the many presentations that I make that no matter the number of agencies that are recruiting, we are not in competition with each other because the need is beyond all of us.
Dr. John DeGarmo is a foremost expert in foster care and does presentations nationally. His latest article points out the significant need for more homes. Dr. John DeGarmo, Foster Care. | Check out his latest book - Church and Foster Care.

Latest trends nationally have identified that children are often being placed several counties away from their homes which means the reunification plans or casework providers must travel hours for court hearings and family visitation. There simply is not enough homes available.

While it is indeed helpful to have support systems for foster parents, ultimately we need more homes as well.

MYTH #3 Click Here.