Success: It Is NOT About You!

Perhaps the title of this article is a little deceiving. You might read this and wonder if I know what I am talking about.  I do believe that success is based on personal motivation and individual drive while making the right decisions. Successful people are hard-working and lead effectively through values and goals. 

Yet, I believe we live in a world that is extremely self-centered. Therefore I must conclude that success is not based on you or me. Success is not about you! I believe it is based on recognizing the narcissism that exist all around us.

Let me take time to explain. Psychologist have examined the the American way of life contributes to this issue as a disorder. Many seem to believe that their needs are primary! It is based on individuality and personal choice. Many believe that this has created a generation of very self-oriented people that we might call narcissism. This is a term that is perhaps best described as the need for self though it does take into consideration self-preservation and protection of one’s own property or belonging. 

The term narcissism is basically defined as: “excessive interest in or admiration of oneself and one's physical appearance.” For today’s article I believe that we could expand that definition without redefining its original intent. I think we can see it through the values and actions of individuals.

As long success is only defined as wealth and the gathering of “stuff,” it can result in self-centered, selfish, and “me-first” entitlements. My pushback on this notion Is that we need to understand how successful can be generous. This means that as we achieve, we also understand how to bring others along. 

The impact of narcissism on relationships has a tragic end. Read more.

I believe that the number one topic that most people are interested in is the topic of themselves. How true it is that as you are interacting that people long to talk about themselves and how what they are doing makes a difference. Seldom do you hear anyone stop and ask, how are you today?

Most successful networkers are those that take an interest in others. They have a sincere concern for what other people’s needs are above their own. Just look at the rise of social media which is the exploitation of self. People post about self interest and the majority of selfies are for the sake of getting their portrait on display for others to see, like, or share.

Perhaps the point of this blog entry is just a reminder that we need to be more aware that our success is for the betterment of others. The next time you are contemplating and wondering about your level of self-centeredness, count how often you use the word high or promote your individuality, with its rights and privileges. You may be surprised to realize how important you think you are, in your own eyes.

Back To School Again — Hope For Future Generations!

Schools are opening up again but with a cloud of uncertainty. COVID-19 along with government and healthcare regulations  have presented challenges and restrictions on how we educate our young. Our future hope is in the educational needs of of our children.

Today, I am amazed by all the challenges that have faced us in 2020. I think it’s safe to say that we all stand amazed. These are definitely unusual days and there is so many times that I wonder what all of this means. Yet, I am convinced that God is in control and that He is never surprised!

My joy and certainty is in Christ and the only hope we can be certain of! While thumbing through my Bible, I recently came across Romans 12:1-2 again. I’ve read this passage a thousand times. It always seems to confirm to me that God is wanting to do a new thing in me and through me but there is one constant that never changes; we are to renew our mind! It is our perspective (the way we see life) that make all the difference. The renewal of our minds is the profound difference.

As kids return to school, I must reflect on the understanding that we too, need to be students of God’s Word. I think about the many restrictions that our kids are having to face and how often the obstacles that even we face can distract us from the opportunity to renew our minds for God’s glory. 

Allow me to take a few moments to share with you a few of my personal musings as I meander through this blog.

How many times have you heard the saying, “If only I had the time?” How often have you heard the many excuses? We live in a time when there is so many restrictions on our free time. We seem to have more free time than ever before yet, we seem to find distractions easily. It is so easy to become distracted that we miss the opportunities that are right before us.

I challenge each one of us to go back to school, spiritually. Just like hope is found in future generations, so too we discipline our pursues in Christ. Our future depends on it. As we renew our mind, consider the impact it can have on those we lead; the young, those in need, & future generations.

One thing that I know is that elders (those older) demonstrate the commitment to duty and responsibility. Perhaps it’s because of the many struggles that our elders have seen or perhaps in their generation they have learned to not take anything for granted. Their experiences can teach us! 

As our children return to school but it’s also return to a spiritual school and a commitment to the word of God as Truth. God’s wisdom helps answer complex problems. God’s Word is the teacher and by His Spirit do we learn. 

Romans 12:1-2 reads, And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

What new lessons are you anticipating? What is one thing that you can learn from? What is one discipline you still need to master? Make your list of the lessons you need to study or take action steps to improve upon. 

Learn from experiences and teach them to yourself and pass them into your children and those younger than yourself. It is in your failing that someone can learn but much more in your successes that lessons are witnessed. Your disciplines become models for others to follow.

Don’t let anything keep you from growing and developing into all that God has for you! Future generations are watching and counting on you to grow in the grace and spiritual light that God provides! 

Ideas Matter, Outcomes Measure.

Today is not that unusual from any other day. Even before I crawl out of bed, I often have several ideas that seem terrific and caliber enough to sit-up and take note. Alongside my bed, on my nightstand, I quickly grab my pen and jot down notes of my ideas. If I don’t write them down they can quickly fade. Poof, they are forever lost! 

Ideas flow easy for me, and especially when I am attempting to solve a particular problem that has plagued my mind and troubled my way. Ideas matter, I tell myself often in an attempt to console my awakened thoughts because seldom do my ideas become extraordinary. I am keen on the path to make a difference in my own creative way. I believe that my ideas make a difference but in reality, only a few really stick.

Ideas, like phantoms and even like a fog in the early morning, which is surrounded by darkness; they appear but only for a few fleeting moments. People have gained a great reputation and have secured their future by patents that came from ideas. Many have crafted entire industries that have revolutionized our current conveniences but those are truly rare commodities. Ideas do matter but there is one thing that is even more vital.

Actions speak louder than words, is a phrase people often use which motivates us. It is when we take our ideas and put action to practical steps that separate them from the ordinary. Outcomes truly measure. It is in the steps that follow your ideas that make a difference. It changes the ordinary into an extraordinary substance of the abstract to the concrete. ideas are but only the first step.

Random thoughts are only part of the equation that unravels the befuddled mind; organizing and categorizing useful information. As ideas are put in order and actions that follow can progress really be made. While actions can be measured, it is ideas that have to finish its work to began the process.

So, the next time you have a brilliant idea, stop and further envision the steps it will take to achieve a measurable outcome. No big idea stands on its own! 

The next time your inspired thoughts create and espouse ideas, realize that your first action step is most vital. 

The next time you promote your idea you will also need to enlist a set of actions that breath life into your dreams.

Ask yourself, what can I do with this idea that can enhance the overall plan? 

Ask yourself, how can this idea be attached to a practice next step that is measurable?

The Lord will always inspire ideas that matter yet will He equip us with actions that measure outcomes. Could it be that God created us for action that should bring him glory?

Scripture provides inspired direction: 

• God’s idea was followed by action.

Genesis 1:27-28

So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground.”

• We, like a fog are here but for a moment but what will last is what God does through us.

James 4:14-15

How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.”

• Actions measure success. 

Psalms 37:2-3

For like grass, they soon fade away.

Like spring flowers, they soon wither.

Trust in the LORD and do good.

Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.

God’s Love Letter

Ephesians 2:8 reads; For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God. (ESV)

I officiated a wedding one day as the pastor. The couple that I met made it very clear to me that they wanted me to share the gospel in simple and plain language during their wedding. The bride-to-be told me that many of her family members will be coming from overseas and that their religion was  not Christianity. With tears in her eyes and passionately explain to me how important it would be for the 150 guests of hers from India to hear the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I told them that I would love to be able to do that and begin to prepare for that special day. I was more than happy to participate in such a wonderful opportunity. Instead of my preaching the normal message to the bride and groom, I prepared my thoughts for a simple love letter from God.

On the 9th hole of a very prestigious golf course we set up for the wedding. As the bride came down the aisle I could see that her smile conveyed a heart filled with love and hope for members of her family. All of the normal Christian tradition was emphasized and then I was given the opportunity to share the special love letter from God, my message to the bride’s family. I stepped aside from a couple begin to address my comments to the congregation assembled that day.

I could see that they were very receptive to the whole field message that I shared with them and I simply told them that God has written us a love letter that if red we transform their understanding of faith, hope, and love.

Following the wedding the bride’s aunt and uncle approached me asking more questions about my message. We exchanged words back-and-forth for over an hour during the reception as we compared Christianity to their Hindu religion. Ultimately I stated that bottom line, the difference between their religion and mine was that through Jesus, we are given a gift of eternal life and that through a simple prayer we can have eternal life in heaven. The brides uncle turned and said I want some of that before we bought our heads and they recited a simple prayer of confession.

As the celebration continued for the bride and her husband there was another celebration that was underway in heaven because of the several that prayed to receive Jesus that day.

Our hope is because of the wonderful love letter that God wrote to us, through his word. It is a message of sacrifice that gives us hope for eternal life. Religion it’s not just a set of beliefs but I trust that we can have With God through Jesus Christ. It is because of his shed blood on Calvary but we have received the greatest gift and that we should pass this gift on the others.

Take just a moment to reflect on the letter, God’s word that he has written to you. Celebrate his gracious gift of eternal life because you are really a recipient of eternal life through Jesus Christ.

Rebuild Or Restart?

Times are different, aren’t they? It seems as though that just a few months ago we were living in a very different age. But here we are, months after COVID-19 has caused many of us to change our routines and comply to new standards.

This begs the question whether we should rebuild or restart?

Many who are leading churches and other organizations are having to restart only to have setbacks with new procedures in an attempt to make church safe. This is not the only industry that is impacted as many nonprofits and charitable causes including foster care has shifted dramatically.

Social distancingIs a new phrase in our vocabulary. Wearing mask is a new practice that we must comply with. The news cycles are not just spreading information about a virus but they are spreading fear and uncertainty.

I often read articles and newsfeeds that talk about organizations having to “restart” their current activities; many having to get very creative in their efforts.

Many could be paralyzed during this time because they’re not sure what the next step is. I believe that if you don’t know the next step look ahead for hope is in the horizon. It’s in the long range that we find a fresh vision. 

It’s time to start thinking long range on many of our efforts. Perhaps we need to be thinking about more than just simply resetting but perhaps we need to rebuild. This is a much different conversation because it’s not just about re-gathering or picking up where we left off.

The conversation is now about finding a long range answer. We must ask what does 2021 look like? Whatever the cause  and no matter the activity that we once enjoyed, we have to consider what starting over looks like. 

When we think about rebuilding we must begin with vision and create a structure that meets the objective in more meaningful ways. We have to consider the impact we could have on long range objectives.

Here are four questions we can start by asking:

1. What is your mission? Everything has a beginning including the reason why you exist to begin rebuilding by understanding your mission.
2. What are your values? State clearly the values that motivate you and help you accomplish your reason to exist statement.
3. What can you do right now that is unhindered by the current circumstances? It’s important to maintain in the midst of obstacles and difficulties so do what you can do now while also thinking ahead.
4. What is your vision and strategy when you think about rebuilding your objectives given the current hindering circumstances? It’s time to think fresh and do as you look at your long range goals and be creative.

Live outside the realm of fear and objections and think clearly, with a fresh vision for how you accomplish your reason you exist mission statement. Rebuild instead of restart. 

Rebuilding gives you a fresh outlook for your future endeavors. When you restart you go back to previous parameters that made sense for a very different time.

Rebuilding allows you the space to push aside obstacles in order to think clearly. When you restart your limit your potential because of pre-existing conditions.

Rebuilding means reconstructing your future hope for why you exist. when you restart you pick up from where you last left off with no consideration for the future.

Should you rebuild or restart? I recommend rebuilding!

Counterfeit Faith.

Romans 12:9 Reads; “Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. (ESV)”

My two sons are now grown and even serving in the profession of law-enforcement. When they were in school they combined two projects from school assignments in which their collaborative creativity produced a counterfeit, duplicated dollar bill. They not only created it by using techniques from art class they had aged it, by getting it wet and drying it, and passed it on to me for inspection.

To my surprise, believing that it was real, recognize there humorous trick when they giggled as they told me that it was counterfeit currency. I was shocked! 

I took it from them and told them that this was wrong and even took the dollar bill to a friend of mine who retired from the Secret Service. Even more amazing was that he identified it quickly as a counterfeit without even looking at it but from how it felt in his hand.

Eventually my sons learned a valuable lesson as the retired Secret Service friend took the boys aside one Sunday morning after church and basically scared them enough to which they never tried that again.

My friend, the retired Secret Service agent said that he learned to identify counterfeit money by studying the characteristics of real currency. He told me that in all of his training they are taught to study what is real, not what is counterfeit.

In our lives we too must study what is true to avoid the counterfeit in our spiritual lives. A valuable lesson my boys learned we too can learn as we study the truth of God’s Word in order to have an authentic and genuine relationship with God through Jesus Christ.

First John 1:5 reminds us that God is pure light, in him there is no darkness. For you and for me, it’s important to recognize that in Christ, we too are a reflection of the hope we have through God‘s love for us. As we live out a genuine faith through Jesus Christ, be reminded that in Christ there is no amount of artificial light that will ever replace the glory of the true light that is in Christ Jesus and through His Word, we can reflect His light.

For more on this subject, see my message that I shared on YouTube - Rev. Rick E. Carder.

In order to know the truth of God’s Word begin by memorizing scripture this week and in weeks to come. 

Giving Yourself Permission To....

I recently was in a seminar as a friend of mine shared about the importance of grieving loss. It was with a group of pastors when Mike shared that it’s okay to give yourself permission to grieve.

It struck me, in my travels, I come across many pastors in which I hear of their hardships and difficulties. Pastoring today is a very lonely occupation. I hear Pastors tell me that they don’t know who they can share their toughest heart-aches with. They wonder who they can trust to be vulnerable with.

When my friend shared that you need to give yourself permission to grieve it hit me. That it is a message I need to deliver to Pastors. I am in contact with them on a daily basis. Often pastors talk about the grief of others and they may even encourage people in their grief but perhaps they are hardest on themselves. Too often they do not give themselves permission to grieve disappointments or loss in their lives.

We read all throughout Scripture of the importance of going to the Lord in prayer as well as how important it is to have someone close with whom to share your honest and transparent hardships and heartaches. Psalms 34:18 reads; “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

Perhaps it’s the profession of the Clergy (which is a vocational Calling) and maybe even the fact that it is predominantly a male dominated profession (though I don’t believe this is limited to only men) but all of us must come to a place when we need to ask for help in a safe space; sharing about those most intimate concerns that weigh heavy upon clergy.

What is it today that weighs heaviest on you? Who do you have that you can trust to share your most difficult and heartbreaking concerns? Have you given yourself permission to grieve?

The following are a few verses you may want to consider as you think about this particular topic while at the same time giving yourself permission to grieve.

Ready For (The Right) Action.

Ready? Set? WAIT! Sound like something you have heard before? Does this sound typical? Most of our lives are lived in a “hurry up, wait” mode. We rush to get ahead only to be stopped or slowed by unexpected detours and road blocks.

I traveled over 50,000 miles last year on behalf of my ministry. I have sighed and zagged across Indiana to meet expectations and goals, appointments and gatherings. I know all-to-well the unexpected detours. I have driven around road blocks and encountered detours that have set my travel plans and schedule back. I usually know to buffer my travel itinerary in such cases that I may find my way closed ahead. 

Isn’t it frustrating? We often feel that any road construction a waste of time. You have been there too?

The Word of God brings clarity in your Calling and role. In Christ there is light that brings vision but darkness breeds confusion and fear! 

I am reminded of the many times I have prayed only to have delays or a change of plans sign redirecting MY route. I can write a book on all the times that I sought God in pray only to TELL HIM what I want. I have learned that I need to really seek His Will for my life, which begins by listening and learning. 

It is often so true that my ways are not His Ways. I am reminded that until I align my plans with God’s plans that I come up short. 

Waiting is a key strategy in knowing what God has in-store for our lives. Psalms 130:5-6 reminds us; “I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in His word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning.” (ESV)

To often, we waste the detours and delays in our lives. Too often we rush past what we need to know before we move forward. Too often, we drop out of life (parking along the road) because of the uncertainty of obstacles.

Taking the right action requires taking time to see the detours, road-blocks, and dead-ends as opportunities. Recently I was able to see the NEOWISE COMET (pictured on July 13, 2020). This is a reminder for me. In the midst of darkness, the clarity of seeing the Comet reminds me to look for clarity that can inspire you. For me, this is Jesus and my faith in Christ. Like a shining light, though rarely seen, provides a focus point! 

You can take time right now to make a list of the times you feel like obstacles are setting you back. As you make the list, list what your options and choices are. From this second list, how will you next choice bring clarity to your purpose for living.

Reaping a Harvest

Matthew 28:19 reads, Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.”

The story is told of a farmer who went out to plant his fields. He was approached by a young boy. Inquisitive, the boy asked the farmer about the seed that fell to the ground. He asked, “What will this become?“ The farmer smiled gently and said softly to the boy, “Within this one seed is a harvest that is plentiful for many. As this seed grows and as we tend to the weeds that will also grow we can feed not just one person but many.”

Similarly, our lives, reap a harvest that will not only produce another seed but a rich harvest as we tend to the weeds and  cultivation of the soil in our spiritual lives. We have heard it said that you reap what you sow. That is not only true in our own lives but in the lives of others.

The scripture compels us to go and tell others. It is in those efforts that we are planting seeds that will grow a harvest for God’s glory. It is in our investment and care for others that people come to faith through Jesus Christ.

Who is one person that you can prayerfully invest in, telling them about your faith in Christ? Take just a moment now to pray and then plan to cultivate, toil, plant, and reap a harvest for God’s Glory.

Finding Center In Far Left/Alt-Right Worldviews.

Where do we find balance? Whether is our personal matters, politics, social causes, and faith, we all find ourselves in a difference place; balance is a challenge for all of us. How do we decide what is right and what are universal values that bring us harmony today?

Today, the biggest challenge is finding truth and applying our choices to what is the right way to live and love. We live is a very diverse world, both secular and religious. It is a complex set of ideas that can leave anyone bewildered. Even the most educated and respectful people can wrestle to know how their ideas and responses to other ideas impact our neighbors and community. 

Today we live is a society of extremes. The more active we engage the issues the more we are expected to comply to standards that are often leading down an unreasonable set of values. Without naming names, I think that anyone of us can see how much conflict there is in our social norms. Unless we become extreme we may feel the shame of not conforming. A new type of social pressure is building and the tension is to a breaking point. 

You and I are being pressured to take a stand on detailed expectations. Reason and debate seems to be tossed out. While expected to listen more intently, we are pressured to decide and become an activist. 

How do we engage in the hot topics of the day? Who can we learn about topics through critical thinking and not be criticized for not being expected to conform or become an activist? How can we advocate for social issues while not being restricted or pushed to comply to legalistic activities?

Take a moment to reflect on these questions. Take time to reflect on hot topics before posting a public opinion as if our belief will summarize the topic and conclude the debate in 144 tweet-able expressions. Rather than take a defensive posture for things that are said to you or things that you may disagree with, stop and be silent to pray for God’s direction before responding. “Patience can persuade a prince and soft speech can break bones.” (Proverbs 25:15)

Today, my intent to ask everyone to hold their thoughts and reflect on your response through a filter of humility and critical thinking. Today, we need to be thoughtful. 

In the age of far left and alt-right, it is really hard to find balance and provide a centrist persuasion. Reason is seemingly thrown out in exchange for emotionalism. While we are told certain facts, seldom do we have enough depth in the debate to for a healthy opinion. Most of us, including me, are not experts on many subjects. We follow slogans and catchy phrases. We read headlines but know few people who are impacted in real-time. Even if we can point to personal experiences, we thrive on personal painful examples that often do not mirror the actual context of any example. 

So, today, I invite you to process differently. I encourage all of us to not become "arm chair quarterbacks." That is, forming public opinion because of what was captured in video. We, all-to-often can be tempted react through a social media "like", "Retweet", "share", or even "mimic" what we see without really using critical inquiry. 

For me, listening and loving are still the standard that make the most sense. As we understand how to listen, really listen and learn to really love, as Christ loved and instructed us to love our neighbor as ourselves. The best rule is to activate the "Golden Rule" as found in the book of Deuteronomy and the words of Jesus. 

Can I encourage all of us to ask questions and to also walk alongside others so that we may gain a depth of understanding? What might happen if we look for Truth through God’s Word beginning with an ethic of love as God loves us? 

Too often we allow fear to dictate our actions and our feelings. It’s so important to need through inquiry and not through an inquest. It starts by listening. Nelson Mandela has approved, time and time again how valuable his wisdom is, even in today’s society as we wrestle through conflict. He wants wrote, “May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”

Perhaps finding balance is to gain understanding truth with grace. I believe that at the foot of the cross the ground is level. We all come to God through Jesus Christ equally given grace, hope, and charity (Love) of Grace. How can we offer any less to others we encounter? 

What scriptures are your favorites that offer you hope? How can our response to pain and loss that others feel? How can our response to social injustice be hope-filled? How do we engage in the needs of others that promotes prayer, grace, hope, and transforming love in Christ; as we represent Jesus incarnate? 

As we make every effort to live a Christ-centered life, we are commanded to love one another and to love our enemies. It does not mean that we compromise our position and most especially our values, but it does mean that we make every effort to be people of peace. If winning the argument is your goal, it’s best not to engage but if your goal is to demonstrate God’s love and grace, and give testimony of God’s grace in your life than it’s worth pursuing a healthy discussion. 

My friend once remind me on a social media post how important it is to win the human race, instead of the political race. 

A (Not-so-new) Kind of Social Politeness!

Take your shoes off at the door. Stand back a little and give me space. Wait until the person has spoken before sharing your opinion. Don't drink and drive. Always wash your hands. No elbows on the table during dinner. Wait until everyone has been served before eating. 

These and many other phrases are often understood as being socially polite. They are a part of the very culture of a society or social group. These, often unwritten rules are a part of the very fabric of a healthy community. As long as we honor principles of polite manners and social norms, we show the value of others.

Today, we live in a complex society. Western society, by in large, have shaped rules of engagement and social order in a common language that is passed on from one generation to the other. It is what we teach our children. It is what we learn in kindergarten. These are a sort of code language that expresses value and establishes trust. If we break simple polite manners we are usually corrected and reminded. 

Yet, today we are seeing order and "a way of life" challenged. We are seeing excessive force and those in authority violate our desired way of life. We are seeing peaceful protest to call attention of injustice turn into a display of an angry mob, even looting and destruction of property. We are seeing that reciprocity as meaningless and chaos become the new order. We are witnessing the emergence of new social politeness. 

Another example is how we are seeing more people wear mask as a result of the Corona Virus. Many are increasingly concerned and other could care less.  I speak to pastor all the time and know of their ministry hardships. Pastors are telling me that as they begin to come together and attend church in person that there are those that are the mask-wearers and those that are in the non-mask people. Some have even told me that the one group is fighting and threatening the other to wear or not wear a mask. People even threaten to never come back to church until everyone is wearing the mask and ironically, so too the non-mask people. 

It is so challenging today to know how to respond to such extreme views. You may be judged harshly no matter what you do.

I think that there is a (not-so-new) kind of social politeness that is emerging. I am seeing more-and-more a social shaming on those that do not comply to their form of order.  I am seeing more-and-more people getting angry because of what they see as right. Today, we are even seeing many flex a mussel for a demonstration of "their rights".  These issues will not be settled soon or easily. 

I want to offer another (not-so-new) idea about how to expand the conversation, calling for harmony (that does not mean uniformity). Like in a choir or orchestra, the many diverse instruments and voices can create a beautiful harmony. While occasionally dissonance (the clashing of sounds) can be part of the musical melody, it is the harmony that we expect and we are left feeling uneasy if we are left with clashing symbols. 

Jesus reinforces the Biblical understanding of reciprocity. We know that all of society needs this to effectively manage conflict. The secular view of this is to do to others as they do to you. A kind of believe that simply means, "an eye for an eye". A kind of do unto others as they do to you. 

However, Jesus also went deeper as we see more clearly in the New Testament. He was challenged to state which of the 10 Commandments was the greatest. He was often placed in awkward conversations. A form of dissonance. What he responded is a not-so-new idea when He responded that the greatest are the two that is to "Love the Lord your God and to love your neighbor as yourself". This is a not-so-new kind of social politeness.  It is what we call the golden rule. We read elsewhere in the New Testament that we should "do unto others as we would like done to us."  It is a step beyond a kind of social politeness. 

Today, we see how road-rage is likened to the first and basic kind of community. It is a reciprocating of what has been done to us. We call this self-justified vindication. In the Old Testament there were cities of refuge that were places that the accused can go to for a judgement of the crime and punishment. This has developed in Western societies as our court systems and the making of laws. The understanding of "innocent until proven guilty" has always stood the test of time. 

I remember first learning in a high school business ethics class that the symbol of the Lady of Justice stood as a beacon of these ideals. She stands with a scale of justice to represent fair and equality. She also is blindfolded so that her bias is blinded. Today we see challenges to injustice but we need to look to the highest ideal, The Golden Rule. 

In the age of instant justice, by way of social media and live video, we are all becoming self-justified vigilantes. We act self-righteous and act on pure emotion without due process and consideration of the rule of law. 

I caution our society to a not-so-new kind of social politeness. Yes, it take more time and thought. Indeed it means listening. Of course it means pushing for change in healthy and fair ways. Freedom is not self-righteous living, it is taking responsibility for the change that begins at home. In fact, in writing this article I understand that I too may have offer bias persuasion. Yet, I believe that revisiting the Golden Rule can and should help us resolve matters of conflict, if we truly love one another in community. Am I naive? 

Perhaps a bit of a pie in the sky with rose colored glasses but I am certain that as we want for good for ourselves and act in love toward our neighbor, we can get a little closer to the highest ideal of man - to the Glory of God. 

My challenge: Take the next 7-days and live out the not-so-new social politeness. If your wearing a mask helps another to feel more comfortable, why not put it on?  Perhaps, if slowing down to let another pass you on the road prevents road rage, why not slow down? If taking your agenda and inviting others to help contribute can strengthen the outcome, why not listen more intently?

Not Just Black and White.

In recent days we have seen tragedy and an ever present expansion of even more devastation throughout our country. We live in unsettled times!  It is very clear, whoever you are, whether civilian or police officers, that the death of George Floyd was clearly a tragedy and a murder. 8 minutes in 46 seconds was the agonizing death of a man, described as a gentle giant. We all unite in wanting to see justice. Hate and despair are so boldly reflected in all we are seeing today!  

Our response should always be in consideration to others before yourself. The golden rule has never been more relevant than in our response to these current times! 

Many are making this a black and white issue but today my heart is stirred beyond compare. I believe that this goes beyond race. While it does include an incredible need for race relations and national repentance, this issue is not limited to just one race over another. This blog entry may be controversial but my intent today is to help spread love not hate. We need to find a place of harmony and offer hope to many who feel so much pain! 

Some may say that I have absolutely no business, as a white man, to even speak to this issue. It is very clear that I don’t fully understand everything there is in this occasion. These are complex topics that many have spent their entire lives trying to give understanding, provide wisdom, reconciliation, and hope in these dark days. One thing I do know is that the greatest majority of people are on the same side, calling for justice! What we witnessed in the death of George Floyd is an injustice! This underscores the significant tragedy and breakdown of society! Over the years we have seen incredibly difficult videos of civilians unfairly targeted and abused. Too many have died!

I believe that we cannot simply allow ourselves to reduce this matter down to simple explanations or call this just a black and white issue. I believe that it is incredibly complex. My purpose today is to just simply encourage us to love and not hate. I think that we can agree on the values that instill hope; that we can restore trust and goodwill to all. 

Every church in America should be outraged both on the injustice that is on display in so many tragic experiences. We also recognize that one injustice does not equal another injustice to go unchecked. Every church should speak to this issue and to call their people to a higher road of love and grace! I call on Pastors and church leaders to speak against injustice wherever it is apparent and to express love and grace. Similar we have seen that it is possible to show harmony as in the case of the news reports of police officers walking peacefully alongside protesters. It tells us that love and trust is possible!

Nowhere in scripture do we find a justification for the negative and hate-filled actions of a few police officers who are not representing their oath to serve and protect. Yet, nowhere do we find justification for the hostile rioting and carnage that followed. Many say that it is a way to get the public attention but I believe it is the wrong message that is being communicated. Winsome and peaceful protests should not turn into riots and carnage!  Our response should be that of unity that offers peace and love in an attempt to bring righteous indignation with hope-filled love and peace.

Not everyone will respond with a Christian attitude. We know that there are deep wounds that are not easily healed and when tragic events occur where there is abuse and death we see people reacting with fear and often hate is the emotion of anger we can expect. Yet, we are to consider and respond with love! 

Ephesians 4:29 reads; “Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.”

I am confident that light will push back darkness! I’m also certain that any that call this a black and white issue have not thought deeply enough. This is a human race issue not just one race or another. Although we see it on display every day! 

History, if history has taught us anything, it is racism both in the past and in the present we have faced injustice before! I am equally confident that we can overcome through goodness and mercy. Just a little more than 150 years ago we read about the injustice of the Native Americans, who through public policy were displaced and their citizenship revoked, thought they were, after all, the first nation!

Go deeper and we can see that the Chinese immigrants or any others who came to this country to seek hope and prosperity only to receive hate and indifference. Perhaps we could move beyond just a black and white issue to see the greater depth and range of conversation that we should have as we first must listen! My own childhood echoes with the pain and anguish of such hatred. Having grown up just south of Detroit, I can understand in-part because I have witnessed in-part racial tension. I recall the conversations years after the death of Martin Luther King known as the race riots. I know of the my earliest feelings of fear as news echoed the evening news reports of Detroit on fire every Halloween. I recall the tension that was evidenced by mistrust and bitterness. I saw racism firsthand. 

I remember my teen years. I went to a very diverse high school. One of the choirs that I joined was predominantly a group of black teens and I was the only white, blonde haired member of this all-male choir. I have to tell you that I gained a brotherhood relationship with my peers and witnessed my life transforming experience that developed a new tone in depth to my understanding.  I was accepted though not easily because I had to prove myself. Yet, overtime I was accepted and could contribute to the culture and community of this group. The largest difference of from me and my friends was not the color of our skin but the fact that I have no rhythm! 

In these very serious days we are challenged to look and respond during this time of crisis in a positive and encouraging way. We should stand alongside members of races that are different in order to find unity in their cause! 

I believe it’s so helpful for us to listen and learn before we do anything else. There is great healing as we listen. 

I love what Tony Dungy wrote recently on this issue:

“We have to be willing to speak the truth in love but we have to recognize that we are not fighting against other people. We are fighting against Satan and his kingdom of spiritual darkness.”

Love covers a multitude of sins; beginning with mine. 

5 Why’s Every Leader Must Ask.

Every leader, no matter who they are or whom they lead must ask themselves five questions beginning with the word way in order to gain good judgment. You may not feel like a leader but you are. Everyone has influence at some level. You may lead only a small group or are respected within a small group of people but nevertheless, you are a leader. You make decisions each and every day.

That’s why I am sharing this article today in hopes that every person giving some level of leader ship will consider reading and making application to this article. This approach is not new as you will see by this link but it is important nonetheless. Check out further information here.

Take for example a leader who is having to decide whether to bring their people back to the office or the assembly line. Perhaps it’s church leaders who are having to ask the questions necessary to re-assimilate their people into a public gathering for Sunday worship. Maybe it’s a parent who is trying to quickly decide when it’s appropriate for their teenager to leave the house during the days of this pandemic.

Leaders that can think clearly and quickly assess every situation can provide sound judgment and appropriate decision making qualities. Most leaders I believe are criticized not for their decision but often because of their indecision. People may want to be armchair quarterbacks, criticizing the decisions after they have been made but most criticisms that linger are those that are about leaders that waiver and their decision-making.

Leadership is about influence and the capacity to make decisions. A good leader must ask good questions. I believe these questions begin with the word why.  More and more are convinced that it’s the 5-why’s that we normally suspect but it is our ability to push through, with discipline hey series of questions related to each step along the way. Check out this video for clarity.

It is easy to ask the typical questions of, who, what, where, when but it is more difficult to ask the question why. I also want to suppose that it is the discipline of asking why that makes the biggest impact in healthy judgment. 

Depending on your leadership style, you may be autocratic or democratic in style, but, every good leader should be surrounded by good input and honest feedback. The Bible says that wisdom is generally accompanied by others. 

A great article from Bible Money Matters quotes: 

Proverbs 15:22 - Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. Proverbs 19:2 - Also it is not good for a person to be without knowledge, and he who hurries his footsteps errs. Proverbs 12:15 - The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. 

These five questions that you ask yourself begin with why. Each step in the process must be questioned. as you dive deeper into your objective or project, asking why is it significant part of the process. Asking these five questions encourage us to get to the root of solving the problem and then clearly articulating the objective.

Let me explain. Perhaps there is an objective that somebody raises about a process. Each time that you state an objective that delves  deeper into the final goal, ask yourself why is this important or why are we taking this step?  If you delve into the objective of project at the fifth level, this is when you get to the core of the motivation and clear objective. 

We see that during the days of the pandemic that there are certain questions raised about when and how groups should gather during this pandemic. Churches are meeting the subjective in very different ways based on their local circumstances but as committees begin to dialogue about the objectives, it is important that each step is questioned beginning with the word why. It may sound annoying but as you answer why with each step you ultimately will be able to find objective reason and clear motive for the outcome. 

Another way to look at it is that as you are trying to decide on a particular step, ask yourself why is this important? You may also ask the question of why are we taking this step? Each question that meets with the objective helps you to bring clarity to your purpose and evaluate the objective against your mission.

Here are a few relevant questions beginning with why:

Why is this important?

Why do we need to have this approach?

Why do we feel that this is a good or bad decision?

Why do we not have everyone’s consent to move forward?

Why do we need to take this action at this time?

There are many more questions to begin with why in my encouragement is for you to delve into each level to at least ask yourself five relevant questions that begin with why at each step.