Perspective: Christmas Doesn't Mean the Same for Foster Kids!

Waking up early and filled with anticipation on Christmas morning isn't the normative for every child. I have experienced this along with opening Christmas gifts that had shared expressions of love and kindness. I can remember the many Christmas programs I took part in as well as those that I attended with a pride and joy that many other parents  experienced. Christmas is filled with  memories that even today bring about smiles and laughter.

We first came to realize first-hand the differences when we were foster parents of teenagers. We thought we were doing the right thing, after all, everyone had similar experiences, right?  Wrong!  We soon realized that often children and youth in foster care are dealing with a broad spectrum of feelings and experiences that surprised us. There were feelings of loss and separation that we should have anticipated. We were trained for this and I even had experiences in Probation work and had volunteered as a Court Appointed Special Advocate. I worked with families as a pastor and thought I knew enough but not until we experienced foster care first-hand did we have an understanding of what kids and youth may experience.

We often talk about the first time we celebrated Christmas with a foster teen. It was fun to shop for our foster daughter who was fifteen at the time. We were still working though some of the trust factors and made every attempt to create a bond with her. It was curious that the bond and trust was almost instantaneous with our children who were in elementary and preschool at the time. I was told that it may be that often teens connect well with other siblings, especially younger ones because they are children themselves. Socially and emotionally they are delayed in their adolescence because of trauma and abuse. Educationally they are often delayed by years of missing traditional education programs. Inconsistencies occured because of the frequent moves of the family that made it difficult for our foster daughter to keep up with her peers. Having younger siblings makes them feel more comfortable.

One Christmas tradition that we experienced with our own children was the annual Christmas Eve Church Service and the opening of one gift before bed-time. Our children were very familiar with this tradition. "Pajamas again!" the kids often complained. Our tradition dates back to our childhood when our parents would "surprise us" with the Christmas Eve pajamas gift.  We thought that this tradition would be a good one to pass on but not meaning to be insensitive we excused our tradition as if everyone did this. The year that we packaged the Christmas Eve pajamas gift Cindi decided to make them extra special. Our daughter Josslyn and our foster daughter were to wear matching pajamas complete with their favorite Sesame Street character, Elmo. Our children met them with their typical, "Pajama again!" attitude. While our foster daughter, new to this tradition, reacted with excitement. Matching pajamas with Josslyn made this tradition one of goodwill and love. They had to try them on right away and wanted us to take a picture of the two of them in front of the Christmas Tree. It all worked out in the end and the tradition is something that brought about a trust and bond that we still share fondly. It could have turned out negatively however because we made casual assumptions about faith and family values that may not have been true for our foster daughter.  We may have inadvertently brought shame or confusion and even heartache since this was not her tradition. 

We learned that Christmas and other holidays brings with it a variety of negative experiences. We made better attempts in the future to make sure that our foster children would feel love, acceptance, and care during holidays since they could not be with their own family.

On another occasion we hosted Thanksgiving at our home and invited our other foster girl to help us not only prepare the meal but to invite her mother to our home for the annual holiday feast. Learning from our first effort to make the Holidays special we asked our foster daughter what would make Thanksgiving special. After receiving permission from our licensing agency, the County Probation Office, we began to plan. For our foster teen at that time was a remarkable opportunity. She was able to actually assist in making the foods that were served. It brought pride and self-respect to her and her mother loved the opportunity to visit with us which gained trust in our care for her daughter. It was a supervised visit that didn't have the usual uncomfortable setting. It was a Thanksgiving that still today we feel resembled the first community gathering that marks this tradition.

As we furthered our nearly eight years of fostering, we learned to be more inclusive of the differing experiences. Even birthdays were not "as usual". We found that we needed to seek permission with a greater need to be sensitive to their experiences. We found that we needed to ask more questions from counselors and our licensing agency as well as our foster teens. We found that as we respected the history of their experiences that we could enhance the occasion. Once we learned how to best meet the needs of foster teens we were better equipped to enhance their experiences. We learned that it was okay to change our traditions and to be inclusive of other traditions that made the occasion even more special for the foster teen.

Once, while giving gifts one of the foster daughters decided that it would be fun to give us a gift. Using her own money she bought me and Cindi Lottery Tickets. The tradition was something that her family thought nothing about. You may even be asking yourself what the big deal was for me.  If you know me you would know that I am dead-set against gambling in any form. I think that the foster teen knew this and may have even thought this would make for great humor. I am sure that the look on my face was funny enough but she could wait for me to scratch off the ticket. Instead of making this some kind of a lesson Cindi scratched of hers right away and actually won some money. I was a bit more reluctant until my wife said, "Come on, it is a gift!"  I eventually scratch off the ticket. I didn't win any money but I learned that some traditions, while they are not my experience can be fun and it might event create just the bond and trust you have been hoping for.

Keeping Holidays or Birthdays positive and while remaining open-minded can produce experiences that will keep you laughing many years later. I have to say that I have certainly learned how to "lighten up" and "go with the flow" as well as learn how to deepen traditions that build trust and demonstrates love.

The Shortest Verse for the Longest Laugh -- Rejoice Evermore

Hopefully you enjoy reading this article. The verse is a short verse that should promote a long laugh to your soul.

1 Thessalonians 5:16 - "Rejoice Evermore."

C.S. Lewis once noted: "Joy is the serious business of heaven." Billy Graham correctly observed, "When Jesus Christ is the source of our joy, no words can describe it." 

There are many verses in the Bible that describe joy. Over 300 verses....

Deuteronomy 28:47-48 -- If you do not serve the Lord your God with joy and enthusiasm for the abundant benefits you have received, 48 you will serve your enemies whom the Lord will send against you. You will be left hungry, thirsty, naked, and lacking in everything. The Lord will put an iron yoke on your neck, oppressing you harshly until he has destroyed you.

1 Chronicles 16:27 -- Honor and majesty surround him; strength and joy fill his dwelling.

1 Chronicles 16:32 32 -- Let the sea and everything in it shout his praise! Let the fields and their crops burst out with joy!

Psalms 4:7 7 -- You have given me greater joy than those who have abundant harvests of grain and new wine.

Psalms 32:11 -- So rejoice in the Lord and be glad, all you who obey him! Shout for joy, all you whose hearts are pure!

Psalms 34:5 -- Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces.

With over 60 additional verses in the Psalms alone....

Proverbs 2:10 -- For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will fill you with joy.

John 15:11 -- I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow!

Acts 13:52 -- And the believers were filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit.

Philippians 4:4 -- Always be full of joy in the Lord, I say it again, rejoice.

I remember having to memorize scripture to board the bus. As a youth we were encouraged to memorize verses of the Bible. My favorite was John 11:35, "Then Jesus wept."

The shortest verse is often thought to be the words that describe Jesus, "Jesus wept". John 11:35 "Then Jesus wept."

Yet when we look to Greek we can actually find a shorter expression.

There are only two words that make up the passage today. We can translate the passage in several ways: Always be joyful forever. Be joyful always. Joy without ceasing. 

The Message: "Be joyful, no matter what, rejoice evermore." 

John Wesley translated it: "Uninterrupted happiness." 

In the People's Bible - "Rejoice evermore". 

"Religion is not sullen and sour, but full of joy; so full that the saint can even be joyous when all the world seems to frown. He has a hidden source of joy, a present Savior, a blessed hope." -- "The Epistles of Paul the Apostle to the Thessalonians," in Ellicott's Commentary on the Whole Bible, vol. 8, p. 145). 

These two words "hpantote chairete" constitute the shortest verse in the Greek New Testament.

HPANTOTE - Pronounced pantote which means, "Always. All the time." or "At each time" CHAIRETE - Pronounced Chaireet which means, simply "Rejoice"

THE FIRST WORD:

1. Rejoice (Chairete)

This is perhaps described as circumstantial happiness. This is in part happiness based on what happens to us. We get HAPPINESS - which is what HAPPENS.

You may have seen how poorly some people act if they aren’t happy. https://youtu.be/-JvtlB_NzI8 (I wanted a blue one not a red one!)

Other examples: The birth of a baby. Winning a contest. A birthday. A TV show.

You may have heard about the naughty parrot. An owner of a parrot is bothered by the bad behaviors of her pet. Her pet says bad words. Might have been the previous owner but her concern is that it says bad things when she has company. She hears about a cure that may solve this problem. She hears the if you place the parrot in a cold environment every time the parrot is bad, that this could cure it. Once the problem was so bad that she place it in the freezer. Exasperated she left it in for a rather long time and even forgot. When she remembered she quickly got the parrot out of the cold. ** As she removed it the parrot said; "What bad word did the turkey say?"

Speaking of Turkeys, why can’t you take a turkey to church? Because he has a "fowl" mouth!

Have you ever written down your "I Believe Statements"? I believe statements are how we can go from circumstantial happiness to the ability to rejoice.

We all have beliefs. They control who we are and what be think. They may be pessimistic or optimistic. Whatever they are, they dictate our feelings, attitudes, reactions, and the way we view what happens to us.

Write out your "I Believe" statement. (... give testimony statement.)

To rejoice is a choice! The word tells us to; "Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." --1 Thessalonians 5:18

Take time right now to list one "I believe statement". I believe that God is with me. I believe that I am His child. I believe that God will give me the strength necessary to face life's challenges. ** Daily write your "I believe statements".... Make them Biblical and you have the recipe to find a joy unspeakable and full of glory. A joy that will carry you through life's challenges.

Ever think about the importance of the word: YET? It is an adjective that is defined in the context of the circumstances. 

David said it best when he said in Psalm 27:13 – "Yet will I trust in the Lord!"

As if to say;

.... never-the-less.

.... in spite of.

He knows God to be good at all times; even in difficulties and pain! 

Psalms 27:13: "Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living."

THE SECOND WORD: 

2. Evermore (Pantote)

It means that joy is as a constant!

Ever seen someone you may call, supernaturally joyful. *George Mueller would not preach until his heart was happy in the grace of God. *Jan Ruybroeck would not write while his feelings were low., but would go to a quiet place and wait on God till he felt the spirit inspiration. *John Wesley learned true joy from the Moravians who demonstrated their confidence during a stormy sea carriage. The Christian owes it to the world to be supernaturally joyful." - A. W. Tozer

IN OUR PASSAGE, we learn that this simple verse teaches us many lessons on joy. It is the shortest verse but it does provide the longest laugh!

I heard a story once about the longest smile. A 12-year-old girl in Winnipeg, Canada held a smile on her face for 10 hours and 5 minutes, establishing the new world record. Lisa Lester's exploit won the smiling marathon of the Manitaba Providence Dental Association. Before that, the longest smile was recorded at only 7 hours and 32 minutes.

My friend, Pastor Bruce Howell (my first real church boss), wrote a book "Pushing the Pause Button On Your Life". He has a chapter dealing with joy. He writes: 

"...joy is not the same as happiness. Happenings can lead to happiness. Joy is birthed as a result of a loving relationship. Sad is that people who bases his joy strictly on beneficial circumstances. The events of life are like waves on the sea. They come and they go, depending on the direction and force of the wind (and currents)."

He is right! In order to have an "evermore" to your joy, you will need a deeper experience. Bruce says that "Joy is a state of mind into which four ingredients enter: 

1. A sense of being loved. 

2. Ability to accept our situation in life. 

3. Sense that you have something worth having (family, career, children, hobby...) 

4. Giving away something worth giving. "Giving is a great source of joy. Giving oneself to others is tremendously rewarding."

Isaiah 43:19 is a reminder that each new day brings blessings! 

"For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will make rivers in the dry wasteland."

Recently I read the story of John Pierpont. Robert Fulghum, wrote a book entitled "It Was On Fire When I Lay Down On It". There’s a very good story in that book that touched my life and lingers up to now.

In 1866, at the age of 81, John Pierpont came to the end of his days as a government clerk in Washington, D.C., with a long string of personal defeats.

He began well - a Yale graduate of which his grandfather had helped found. He chose education as his profession; filled with enthusiasm.

His failing begin. He failed as a teacher because he was criticized for being to easy on his students. He entered the legal professions but there too, he failed. He was too generous to his clients and didn't charge enough. 

Next his career was in business. There too he failed because as a merchant he did not charge enough for his dry goods and was too liberal with credit. 

He wrote poetry; although much was published, he did not collect enough royalties. He was ordained (Harvard Divinity School) and pastored in Boston but his position in slavery angered his congregation. He was against slavery. He was forced to resign. 

In politics he was nominated to the Abolition Party of Massachusetts but was defeated. He ran for Congress under the banner of the Free Soil Party. He lost again. 

During the civil war he volunteered as a chaplain for the 22nd Regiment of the Massachusetts Volunteers. Two weeks later he was encouraged to quit; at 72-years old he was not able to keep up. 

Eventually he found an obscure job in the back offices of the Treasury Department in Washington, and he finished the last five years of his life as a menial clerk.

*He died and many considered him a failure. There was a small memorial stone marking his grace in the Mount Auburn Cemetery in Cambridge, Massachusetts. The stone was engraved; "POET, PREACHER, PHILOSOPHER, PHILANTHROPIST."

You see, in the eyes of the world, his success was to his discredit. He was a fool to have gained so much and given it all away. Many of his works were eventually credited to him as successes. **He demonstrated a life of joy in all he did! He gave generously - unending - a joy evermore! ** He forever made an impact on his children! 

We are aware of him through the popularity of his son--JAMES! It is because he authored a famous Christmas tune, once written in poetry to his mother & father. It was one of his fondest memories of a happy home. It was once one of the top 25 songs of all time! He dedicated it as a fond memory of his early days....riding in a "One Horse Open Sleigh."

We know it today as, "Jingle Bells". 

As I wrap up the article, consider the following.

We should have a thankful spirit. Just as the video depicts joy and Christmas Gifts: http://youtu.be/BSxPWpLPN7A

We are encouraged in this verse to laugh. To really laugh! It is God's gift to us - to laugh evermore!

"A happy heart makes the face cheerful..." Proverbs 15:13

First Thing Everyday devotional on Day 29, tells us that of the blessings from God. The author says, "After all, God created laughter for a reason...to use it. So laugh!"

Dennis Swanberg says; "Life goes on. Keep on smiling and the whole world smiles with you."

We need to be transformed; to change from the inside out! Let His Joy become our Happiness - EVERMORE!

Wesley's Commentary makes the connection for us. The Bible tells us to pray without ceasing. Wesley writes; "Prayer may be said to the the breath of our spiritual life. He that lives cannot possible cease breathing. This shows the way to 'rejoice always.' Our Lord has purchased joy, as well as righteousness, for us."

A few years ago I heard a devotional I call the Metamorphosis. Joan Bardsley shared a story from her personal experience. Teacher at a private Christian school - kindergarten. 

One girl was in class who was physically abuse. Big bright eyes and long blond messy hair. Jessica had deep pain. She seldom smiled. She seldom talked. The kids didn't understand her. 

Joan had a moth cocoon in a glass container. The year was nearly passed when one suggested that they wanted to see the cocoon. Joan shook it...sounded like it dried up. Open it! She partially cut into it and discovered that the small creature was still alive...moving slightly. They repaired the cocoon. Summer passed. At the beginning of the school year she went to her new Kindergarten class, discovering that the moth had hatched. It was a beautifully colored moth. She showed it to her prior class and they want outside to let it go free. 

When the moth flew it circled the group of students then landed gently on Jessica's shoulder...Jessica smiled! The children laughed. They began to call Jessica the Butterfly princes.

God can change our weeping to joy!

**The Christian's joy flows from sympathy and grace of our savior. Jesus wept - so we can rejoice evermore.**

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Kuo3lg-LBU | (The Cathedrals)

Why Christmas Gifts for Vulnerable Kids?

It’s that time of year again. Christmas is just around the corner and the hustle & bustle of this season is in full swing. You notice how many Christmas commercials there are on TV in which there seems no end to all the materialism that is promoted. You notice the increased stress this season brings when Black Friday shopping is at its peak. You notice all the decorations and lighted Christmas trees & displays are hastily assembled.



You may look back with fondness your Christmas traditions. You recall the giving of gifts and celebrated events that ushered in fun & the anticipation of the holiday. Christmas is a very special time for children all over the world who await with great anticipation the morning when gifts are exchanged.

For over a half million children in the United States alone, this tradition is important because it is a tangible way of showing children and teens God‘s love. Children who are vulnerable to abuse & neglect often feel the stress and are physically at risk of harm as mothers and fathers react to stress in abusive ways. Christmas is often a time that raises levels of stress and anxiety, especially with children from homes of the domestic violence, child abuse, and neglect.

Christmas can be a great time to show children in tangible ways the spirit of this holiday. Often missed by vulnerable children, this season can be a great way to demonstrate God’s love, when families are more open to charity & goodwill in the Name of Jesus.

Organizations and community groups promote the collection of funds and opportunities to sponsor children in need with Christmas gifts. International organizations like Samaritan’s Purse will collect millions of shoe boxes filled with tangible items that demonstrate the Love of God in children all over the world. The Salvation Army will have thousands of Bell Ringers collecting donations at Red Kettles across America as well as internationally. Community groups and social service agencies promote the collection of tangible items that can make Christmas possible for at-risk families who struggle to make ends meet. Additionally, foster care and adoption organizations like White's Residential & Family Services (Residential & Foster Care) provide additional opportunities. 

It reminds us today that purchasing gifts for vulnerable children & youth is important. When children are displaced from their homes and places in foster care or other kinship care, they often are bringing everything they have in a black plastic bag! They may own a comfort toy but it will usually be torn, worn, and often looking like it needs replaced. Yet, the bond to their comfort toy is all they have to hold onto when they are frightened and confused especially as  they enter into a stranger’s home; foster care is often a very unfamiliar place. Everything they know is suddenly taken away.


Christmas is one way to tangibly show care in significant ways. While you will never want to replace their existing comfort toy (s), and can introduce a needy child to other toys that bring comfort. Showing God’s love in the giving of good gifts is likened to our God who provided us tangible expressions of His love.

James 1:17 -- Whatever is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow.

At The Edge of Darkness, When Despair Seems to Overtake.

We’ve all been there; whether it’s personal or in the life of another. We have seen people experience despair. At the very least we too can become discouraged. It may not be deep a despair but it is as if we are at the edge of darkness when despair seems to overtake. 

In the work (ministry) that we do we may see more negative than positive. When positive change seems to come slowly in the life of another; or not at all. 

We pour ourselves out!

We extend ourselves thoroughly.

We may even give all that we could give. 

However heroic, the results don’t seem to happen as we would hope.

I’ve been there. I have pastored in the local church & community or have been in ministry for over 31 years. On more than one occasion, I’ve seen people in despair, depressed, & beyond the edge of darkness; where there seems to be no hope. 

We may even have seen how Proverbs 13:12 is lived out; "Hope deferred is heart ache..."

I think I’m preaching to the choir because we’ve all been there. It’s as if we’ve entered into the edge of darkness and the deeper we go the less we see.

I spend a lot of time with Pastors and often hear a lot of their painful experiences. Disappointments & weary in well-doing creates a sense of loss. 

I’ve worked hard to get certain results only to feel as if I am not getting ahead or seeing enough. Disappointments & weary in well-doing breeds a negative spirit.

I’ve poured myself into someone only to feel as if it was in vain. Disappointment & weary in well-doing causes heart-ache. 

I can’t tell you of the hundreds of times that I’ve invested myself into another but I was not able to celebrate a positive outcome at the time.

David was there too! That is why he wrote the Psalms; as a reminder for himself through music & poetry. It was for himself and also for us at those times of our deepest depths of despair.

We read it in Psalm 27 when he wrote of discouragement; when it seemed that all was lost.

The word, "Yet."

Take a small card or paper and a marker. I want you to write the word in large letters & as big as you can, as creative as you can. Write the word: YET! 

It is an adverb meaning, never-the-less or in spite of. We can use it to make the phrases, Even yet! Further yet! 

That is an interesting word because of it’s context. We can find victory because we know certain things to be true. The context of knowing the promises of God or prayers that have been answered, or the results that have been effective, or even yet, the outcomes that have been achieved.

David had certainty of God’s goodness! So he was able to pen the word in poetry & song, putting it in a word: YET! 

I love being able to say, NOT YET before realizing the TRIUMPHANT impact of what could be if YET I hold out in faith

It is amazing to see the potential in our kids that we serve? Saying, NOT YET to their circumstances, pain, & trauma with a hope set on the future! 

David said it of the worst of times. Read Psalm 27 to fully appreciate the context what David understood of God. 

David said it best when he said in Psalm 27:13 – "Yet will I trust in the Lord!"

As if to say;

.... never-the-less.

.... in spite of.

He knows God to be good at all times; even in difficulties and pain! 

Psalms 27:13: "Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living."

When Christmas Becomes Real

What is your favorite memory?  If you are like me you will may be inclined to say, Christmas. I love everything about the holiday but especially the memories growing up in a large family and seeing how generous my parents were in getting us all gifts. It had to be costly.

At the time, as a child, it was magical. I heard about Santa and having older brothers I quickly learned that my parents were the reason we had gifts. Never-the-less, it was a real magical experience. The tree was decorated and my mother loved to hang many lights on the house. I think that she dressed up the occasion because it was here favorite season as well.


There were several reasons and right-of-passage experiences that made this holiday so special.

1. It was all about the gift. I know that may sound selfish. I can remember circling every item I wanted in the Sears catalog. I loved the food and decorations but it was the gifts under the tree that made it special for me. My sister, Robin always woke us up around 2 AM. We could hardly wait to open the gifts. My parents worked so hard to provide for our happiness but we were merciless on Christmas morning. We tried to be quiet but the excitement got the best of us.

2. The BB Gun. When anyone turned twelve years old we could expect to find a BB Gun under the tree. The year that it was my official birth year, I anticipated my own right-of-passage. There it was, a shiny new BB Gun just for me. I could hardly wait to load it and begin to hit my targets. It is funny that today I don't own a weapon but at 11-years old, it was what marked manhood. I learned to shoot my father's 22-calibar rifle and 357 handgun when I was five but getting my own BB Gun rifle meant that I finally was becoming a man.

3. Oh the aroma. Space around the table was limited but the food was plenty. Our family didn't have plenty through the year. In fact, if you missed the call for dinner you may have to eat dry cereal, the only thing we seemed to have plenty of. Often I missed the main course because I was too busy riding my bike or hiking in the marshlands to hear the dinner call. I did eventually learn to sit at the back stoop when dinner was being prepared so that I could be first to the table.



These sights and sound of Christmas were always some of my favorite memories. I am certain that I was spoiled!  Yet, in the midst of all the festivities that made up my memories, one thing always stuck out to me. It was the ministry of the local church. Christmas eve services and candy corn balls (remember those?) were highlights of the year. The church reminded us that the holiday was not just to meet the needs (or wants) of mine, it was a reminder to care about those that didn't have as much as we did.  The church would tell the story of Christ in a humble manger. The pastor would preach a message of love and good will for all. There were the youth group film night themed with the message of giving not receiving from the Grinch to Scrooge. The message was that we are blessed and should give to others who don't have as much.

I reflect on those years with a keen sense of the real message of Christ in the manger. In a world of commercialization and materialism I can recall how important it is to give to those in need.

Today, I know that I am impacted by the emphasis on giving. I love buying gifts for those less fortunate. I enjoy ringing the bell for the Salvation Army. I enjoy promoting and collecting gifts for needy children. I even carry cash that I have handed out to people in need.



I don't say that to brag. I say that because I know that you too have experienced the joy of Christ in Christmas. I know that you too give to those in need. It is a time of year that reminds all of us to be generous in giving and in our spirit. We may be tempted to be impatient as we stand in long lines at superstores.  We can become impatient waiting on our packages to be delivered to our homes.

Yet, the season of music and good will toward men is refreshing. I am now at an age that I love to see kids get excited about opening gifts, just like I did ages ago.




Make this year a season of giving like never before. Show your love to someone in need. Demonstrate generosity to someone even if they may not deserve it. Do something for someone else that may not have the means to do for themselves. It is in doing for others that Christmas becomes real.

The Sacrifices Moms Make.

This year, in fact this week my mother turned 81 years young. Today I thought I would reflect on the sacrifice that mom’s make, at least as I reflect on my own mother.

Growing up in a large family of eight children is no easy task. Yet, it was the sacrifice of our mother that is extraordinary. There were so many times that her sacrifice meant that her children could be happy and healthy.

Amidst so many memories, one stands out in particular. I can recall the many hours that she would spend sorting laundry and standing at an ironing board while many of her children ran in and out of the home living carefree. The picture of that is forever burned in my memory as I reflect on the joy that my mother would sacrifice for my happiness.

Of course, there were stressful days and difficult times. What home would be complete without those memories as well. Yet, my mother seem to always triumph in her ability to care for our needs. Often, setting aside her own needs in the process of caring for ours.

Three things come to mind as I think about not only my own mother but the many times that moms sacrifice.

1. Picking up after us.

I’ve raised children and I’ve seen the many times that their mother, Cindi would walk behind them picking up as they dropped their clothes in a trail. My mother, with not only have to pick up after us but could’ve easily gotten lost in the midst of all the laundry that would pile up all around the house. 

My mother grew up Dutch and she was always cleaning up after us. She would always keep the house clean and would constantly get after us about leaving dirty dishes or other debris in the wake of our busy little lives. You could imagine that each of us left our fair share for mother to clean up.

2. Teaching us those lessons in real time.

Each my siblings could tell you about the many lessons that we learned because of our mother. We learned to work hard and to be honest. Many time she had to be the judge to deliberate the many times that we accused one another of lying or have to break up a dispute like a boxing referee. 

We learned not too pull the wool over our mother’s eyes. She was often on to us when we thought we could scheme or lie. She would call us into account and often use the threat that many of us have heard, "Wait ‘till your father gets home." I think most of us were more concerned about what our mother would do to us. 

It was a different day when physical punishment was often the norm. I don’t believe our mother was ever abusive but there were those times when we needed correction. She would have us go to the willow tree to obtain the tool of correction. When she said sit down and be quiet we didn’t hesitate but obeyed. 

3. I’ll take care of that.

Since she was a nurturer, many times we would come to her with our difficulties and problems whether it was the neighborhood bully or difficulties at school. On more than one occasion I would hear her say, "I’ll take care of that." 

Hearing those words brought instant relief to the anxiety that we felt. I remember times when she would get on the school bus to issue a fair warning to the neighborhood bully. Of course that was when I was in third grade. It is a reminder of how protective mother can be.

Of course, there were those sick days but I felt I needed to take time off from school. I would wake up in the morning with a cough or fever and my mother would simply say, "I’ll take care of that."

So many times I needed things to be taken care of and I could always depend on my mother stepping in to take care of things that I didn’t know how to do.

All of us could assure tributes about her mothers in their care. She has often been a protector and would nurture, taking care of the needs that we have from skinned knees and bruised egos.

I am grateful that my mother is still living in that we have the opportunity to tell her often that we love her and appreciate her.

Today Will Never Come Again!

My father-in-law, affectionately called, Papa Don often says, "This is a great day. There has never been a day like this one and there will never be a day like this one again." With wild enthusiasm for life, Papa Don is optimistic as he expresses his love for for God’s new day and people often. This is the foundation of my blog today. 

Each new day is a new awakening to the blessings God has given. In the age we live too many waste their day in worry and pass quickly through planning the days to come. We are all guilty of this. Our calendars are full as we anticipate tomorrow. We are often anxious as we look into the future, missing the present. 

Few people are living in the present. Most are anxious for tomorrow. You can spot them because they look hurried. I am one of those. My wife often said that I possessed the "hurried sickness" referring to Dr. James Dodson’s research on this particular illness. 

In recent years I have made every attempt to work on my anxious spirit. I memorized the Bible passages that tell me not to worry; Matthew 6:25, 28; Luke 12:22; Phillipians 4:6; Proverbs 27:1; 1 Corinthians 15:32: James 4:14. 

It is too often that people can rush through their day striving to earn an income and forgetting how God provides. Even though I still make plans for the future, because I know that God would want us to remain active, I attempt to live in the present. Scripture reminds us that God is in control. In Psalm 37:23 we read, "The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way." 

As we seek God‘s will we soon discover opportunities that can only be from the Lord. Each day I pray that the Lord would send a "divine interruption" in my life so that I could be a blessing and encouragement to someone. I define a divine interruption as a situation that is not planned but that God chooses to use to make a divine opportunity for ministry.

Take just a few minutes now and meditate on the Word of God. Take a few minutes to listen to this video originally produced by the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir, Order My Steps.

Psalm 119:133-136 King James Version (KJV)

133 - Order my steps in thy word: and let not any iniquity have dominion over me.

Consider today only. Be in the present and discover the presence of God in all you do. It may surprise you to know that everyone is gaurenteed the same, Christian or non-Christian. We may call this prevenient Grace.

Lamentations 3:22-24

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

"The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him."

You Don’t Need To Believe in God To Go To Church, Do You?

You don’t have to believe in God go to church, do you? Intrigued? Perhaps this goes against everything that you have been taught. You may believe that only those who believe in God through Jesus Christ should even be in church.

If it makes it easier I could’ve entitled this, the benefits of community. Today I want to unpack for you some of the benefits that church offers, even to nonbelievers. Indeed, you may be right because for those that believe in God through Jesus Christ changes everything however, let’s explore a bit about what the church does for its community.

This idea came to me one day when I was ringing the bell for the Salvation Army. A family that I know came out of the store after shopping and I recognized one of the ladies. On occasion I’ve seen her at church but only because her mother made her go. I greeted them in my usual, and sometimes awkward way. I simply said, "Are you behaving yourself?" The 18-year-old woman looked at me as though I was an alien with a bit of a trouble look on her face, as if I knew something that I didn’t. She simply replied, "What do you care?" 

I laughed only because I felt a little bit of tension. Bravely I approached the question with a simple smile and a reminder that I have seen her in church from time to time. I told her that it is good that she attend a church from time to time. In the course of our conversation she blurted out, "I don’t even believe in God so why bother?" Not to let the conversation go I simply replied, "You don’t have to believe in God to go to church."

The look on her face was one of surprise. I wasn’t sure myself that what I said was helpful but it open up a conversation for just a few moments. I continued, "There are lots of reasons to go to church even if you don’t believe in God."

This is the nature of this blog entry. What are the benefits to church for those who don’t believe in God?

There is a statement that I believe and often say in the recruitment of foster care workers: "You may very well be the only reflection of love they see." As you go around living life expressing your love to people in tangible ways you are often confronted by an opportunity to demonstrate care. It is especially helpful if you show your loving attitudes in church as you’ve done in your community. The following are some of the benefits that I gave to the young lady about attend church.

1. You can network for employment. 

As I told the young lady who, at the time was not employed. I stated to her that the church is a place where people are looking for employees. I encouraged her to connect relationally with people so that people know that she is looking for a job.

Perhaps it’s not intended to be a social club yet this does mean that the opportunity is available for anyone at church.

2. You can find friends that care about you.

I told the young lady that it is a place where she can find others who would care about her. Her rough exterior may be more difficult than most to engage with however she can find trusting friends none the less.

3. There are services, beyond the worship service that can help.

Many churches these days have food pantries and other emergency care ministries for people. This is a wonderful place to be able to help people in hopes that they would reciprocate the opportunity.

4. When you have an emergency need, church people can be very helpful.

There have been times even in my own life when an emergency has arisen and the church has come through on my behalf. For nonbelievers it is a way for us as Christians to reflect the love of Christ in the lives of others.

There’s no question that the church is a gathering place for believers. It is also a lighthouse where nonbelievers can also feel comfortable in attending. Our signs on the outside usually convey an attitude of invitation. I’ve read many signs that promote the special events and activities. We even spent time training our greeters and ushers and how to help people feel welcomed. The scripture reminds us that God‘s Word never returns void (Isaiah 55:11) and that the opportunity to witness is around us every day, even on Sundays when we are in church. We know that God‘s Word penetrates into the very soul of an individual and without casting judgment and criticism, we find that the word of God can change peoples lives.

You may be thinking, these are all selfish motivations for going to church. Indeed, you are correct but if the church is more than a museum for the saints but rather a hospital for the sick than this is in-keeping with its mission. The church is a place where people live life becoming caring, loving people of God. 

The church is not just for the super spiritual. It is a place of refuge and love for those in need. 

Have You Not Read?

Approximately 32 million adults in America are considered to be illiterate; about 14% of the entire adult population cannot read. Source.

As startling as a statistic is, my topic today has less to do with illiteracy then you might think. It is a genuine concern that many in America are illiterate yet even more alarming is the number of people that are not reading the Bible. It’s not because they can’t read but that they won’t read. That statistic is proving to be more concerning which goes beyond illiteracy.

LifeWay recently did I study in which they found, "...more than half of Americans have read little or none of the Bible." Lifeway Study. Startled yet? It may be unbelievable as we have so much access to the Word of God in this country. 

In Matthew 19:4, we see Jesus answering a question that has huge implications. He was asked about divorce but gives a broader answer about marriage. He is answering the question of those who are supposedly, well read of the Scriptures. These are the religious leaders that he is answering, "Have you not read?"

And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, "Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?" He answered, "Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate."  (ESV) Matt. 19

Recently a pastor friend of mine gave me a book that he authored on the subject of marriage. As I began to thumb through its contents, I quickly realized that there are parallels that relate to this topic. The instructions for marriage are clearly laid out in scripture yet many debate it’s content. Divorce is at an all-time high and many choose to live together without the covenant before God in marriage. We find that the definition of marriage are hotly debated today with little regard for what the Bible has to say. There are even debate around what Jesus said about marriage in this passage of scripture I am referring to. 

First of all, the prescription for marriage is easily spelled out in the Bible if we only would read it. Second I noticed that God’s plans for marriage went beyond procreation but the boundaries were clearly set by God. The problems we see in our world today have much to do with our lack of understanding God‘s plan. There seems to be the misunderstanding of what the Bible says. 

Rev. Randy Blankenship, Sr. is Pastor of the New Life Church in Kokomo, Indiana. His book made clear God’s plan for healthy relationships and marriage.

Blankenship says; But in reality, while most people may acknowledge what the Bible says, many do not want to accept what the Bible says. I’m not sure this book will change that trend. However, I do believe that most people do not know why the Bible says what it says – and the reasons given by most, listed previously, do not come close to being the main reason why the Bible says what it says.

 Check out the book here! 

I could easily create an illustration on this. Often we receive instructions on how to put something together. It may be a bicycle or in my case, it was putting together a shelf for my daughter’s bathroom. There were only twenty parts to the shelf and all the screws were easily identified but for some reason I couldn’t get everything to fit together correctly. After I had exhausted my efforts and was clearly frustrated, I read the instructions and realized that I had stupidly misread the chart. How can I be so dumb? The paperwork was clear, if I had only read the instructions and directions first.

Back to Blankenship’s book. His book is filled with many illustrations and scriptures but most certainly an illustration for us, God’s children, as the bride awaiting her bridegroom. This mysterious love through a covenant unites the man and woman as one in Christ. The Bible not only spells this out throughout scripture, if we would but read it, but it even illustrates it too, making it easy for anyone to know His divine plan. 

If the designer, God in Jesus, would’ve wanted the Bible to read differently, I believe He would’ve simply stated it that way as to the order of things in marriage. He had every opportunity to "set the record straight" on marriage and divorce. 

Perhaps there are two elements to what is being said by Jesus in Matthew 19 which has implications for us today.

1. The religious leaders missed the essentials because they simply did not read.

The Pharisees were known for making God‘s plan exhaustively difficult to understand. They would create rules without reasons which made knowing God’s simple plan difficult. In an effort to more fully explain they simply missed the essential truth. Perhaps that’s why they asked Jesus such a question about divorce.

Jesus simply answered, "Have you not read?" He was attempting to point out to them that they missed the essential truth. Divorce is certainly not God’s plan but it does happen because people broke God‘s covenant. We also break agreements that are made between each other in the presence of God.

Divorce is not the unforgivable sin but Jesus instructed the man, who had the responsibility to provide appropriate documentation when it comes to divorce. Furthermore He explained what God intended for marriage. The religious leaders are the ones who made things difficult to understand. 

2. We settle for half-baked answers when we do not read.

Once more and just as important for us to realize the implications of reading God’s Word that goes beyond His teaching marriage and divorce. Jesus was concerned about those who would give answers that were not complete. I might call these half-baked answers.

In giving a half-baked answer we might include only partial truth but it is by no means complete. As Jesus taught his followers, by answering the Pharisees, Ge gives a complete understand of what God’s Word and plan truly is.

If we failed to read God‘s Word and fully understand the solutions for our lives, as well as its application to our lives, we may use incomplete answers and therefore not find the solution we need. Similarly, as illustrated by my putting together the bookshelf or even understanding marriage as prescribed by scripture, we miss the designer’s plan. Could it be that Jesus is speaking to us even today, "Have you not read?"

Eight Ain’t Enough!

I loved growing up in a large family! There were eight children under one roof and only one bathroom. In spite of the challenges and the discomforts of sharing bedrooms and even beds, I would never trade it for anything. Not everyone would say that about a large family but for me the benefits of always having something to do and someone to do something with outweighed any of the hangups and difficulties. We weren’t the perfect family but we learned how to get along with each other.

Strict rules and routines with structure made it workable. My favorite day was Saturday because it was laundry day. This usually meant throwing all of our clothes to the bottom of the stairs and for entertainment we would take a running leap into the pile as my mother attempted to sort through various colors. Breakfast was usually on the go as we hurried to catch the bus for school. Sunday meals usually offered plenty to go around but during the week, if you missed the call for supper you may not have anything to eat but a dry bowl of cereal; that is without milk.

We always kept the line of credit at the local country store next door and there were those evening emergency errands in the dark because someone ran out of toilet paper. We were often fighting for leftovers from my dad‘s lunch but we called this family.

All of us were expected to get jobs at an early age to help pay the family bills. My first job was when I was  ljust 9 years old. It was a job helping a neighbor lady every day after school and on weekends trim bushes and mow grass or working at her marina cleaning boats and repairing the docks. We shared responsibility from year-to-year passing down our newspaper route from sibling to sibling. Each of us had a responsibility for custodial work at our church. It’s hard to believe but we did this for over 25-years. Each one of us took turns with the responsibilities from the time we were children until we were adults.

There were times when groceries were delivered to our home from the Salvation Army. When we went shopping our shopping cart was filled with generic foods. I remember seeing mostly black and white cans while all of my friends had colorful carts of food. In that day generic foods were packaged in black-and-white labels. No one will ever forget the annual occasions of living in a floodplain area near the shores of Lake Erie. We got hand-me-downs and second hand clothes. My parents were stressed but we called this home.

We had lots of fun as children making our own entertainment. I can recall times fishing off my back porch as bluegill swim by when creeks would run over and the lake would flood into our backyard. On occasions we would take all of the items we could to the second floor of our home because water was going to come into the house. We loved hiking through the swampy back yard and wet & woodsy playground. We called this an adventure. 

When I started a family of my own, we would eventually have foster teens live with us. At one time we had eight of us living in the same home. I considered it just like my childhood home. My wife called this ministry. The neighbors called us crazy seeing not only our natural children but foster teens as well. Like my childhood, they were plenty of adventures and things to do. 

The home was busy but orderly. Even at times when we would have 15 or more gather around our dining room table as foster kids and their friends along with our own children would sit down for supper. My wife had a standing invitation that welcomed anyone in our home but for meals you had to arrive by 5:30 pm if you wanted to eat supper with us. For a while our table was too small to accommodate everyone. Eventually a member of our congregation brought over pictures of a used but new to us dining room set that was being given away. That was an answer to prayer and an upgrade. That meant that everyone could be at the table at the same time.

Even with having eight in our household at one time there seemed to be room for more. Our home was full but yet we thought, eight ain’t enough. Cindi used her gifts of hospitality and helps to nurture and love those in our family. Even though she didn’t grow up in a large family she seem to adapt comfortably to meet the ever-growing needs of others. There were times where it seemed like chaos, when things were unmanageable but there were timeless when it seemed like the calm before the storm. We grew to depend on the Lord for everything. In a sense, paraphrasing a quote by Chuck Norris, we lived life never knowing what the day would bring but we knew the One who brought the day.

I look back with fondness as I think about those years early in marriage with an appetite for ministry that was bigger than our resources. I believe that everyone in our family was impacted in a positive way through the experiences of ministry life. We each learned to do a lot with very little. In ministry we discovered that the benefits outweigh the sacrifices. Of course we had to share a little more and cooperate to make everything work out in a busy household. Whether it was coordinating transportation for the kids or managing limited resources and even having to manage conflict and crises, we realized the opportunities before us. We called this ministry.

No matter what the opportunities are before you, God will lead and provide for you at the right time and always on-time to meet your every need. You might call it family. Some may call you crazy. You might see it as an adventure. You may even define it as ministry. When you follow God‘s Will you live a life filled with blessings and hopes. It may not always be easy but with God’s help you can make an eternal difference.

Do It Anyways!

Don’t tell me that you’ve been told the same thing as I have. It’s pretty annoying in fact. I’m certain that you could get as discouraged as I have when I’ve been told not just once but several times, "You can’t do that!"

Even those who are well intended can bring discouragement to another individual when they say that. I’m certain that they are often thinking about circumstance in their life that didn’t work out or even concerned that I could fail at whatever I am making an effort to accomplish.

Someone once said, "Don’t let someone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of yours."

These comments can come from people whom you trust or those that are your mentors. They are likely trying to keep you from getting hurt but what they don’t realize is that perhaps God has planted a dream on your heart.

If Thomas Edison would’ve quit after his first field effort we likely would not have the inventions and the convenience of the incandescent light. In fact, he faced 100’s of failures what could have discouraged him and was even overheard saying, "That’s 500 ways that I know won’t work."

Sometimes what keeps us from trying is the fear of failure. It may be just a few words but someone else’s discouragement can keep us from realizing our dream or for filling our purpose. 

Proverbs 13:12 reminds us that, "Hope deferred his heart ache, but a dream for filled is the tree of life."  All throughout Scripture in fact we find that hope is often set aside. Abraham face this challenge when he chose his own plan instead of waiting for God to give him a child. Moses spent 40 years in the desert before responding to God’s Call. The Israelites were sentenced to 40 years in the desert because the spies, who surveyed the promised land came back with a negative report. Joseph was sold into slavery by his own brothers because of their jealousy of him.

Over and over we can find examples of God’s people becoming discouraged and having their hopes dashed my circumstances. Of course we’ve all heard similar words of discouragement that have kept us from our dreams. 

I’ve heard it said that hope is stronger than fear. The proverb also reminds us that a dream for filled is the tree of life. It is a reminder that as our dreams are accomplished and we are able to see results, it gives us greater opportunity and potential to dream bigger dreams. In fact, we are encouraged to have a "BHAG", a big hairy audacious goal.

Experts tell us that if we fail to dream big then we fail to dream at all. Scripture reminds us that we should pursue something bigger than ourselves because it is a reminder that only God can accomplish our BHAG. 

Ephesians 3:20 tells us that God is able to do exceedingly, abundantly more than we could ever ask, think, or imagine.

Often we limit ourselves because of a barrier or lack of resources. We may say to ourselves that it cannot be done. We may even talk ourselves out of it. We might worry that it’s too much sacrifice or we may fail so we simply follow the status quo.

The Bible is the most optimistic book ever written. It tells us that we can accomplish great things for gods glory. It reminds us that we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength. It tells us that with man it is impossible but with God all things are possible.

Most of us are not motivated because of the fear of failure. But I say that we should strive anyways. I want to encourage you that no matter the barrier or lack of resources or circumstances that seem insurmountable that you should do it anyways. Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire.

Passion in itself may not be enough but coupled with your abilities and God’s empowerment you could accomplish much for His glory and His heavenly gain. Proverbs 16:3 reads, "Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed."

Evangelism: Taking the Path of Least Resistance

"Peace is the only battle worth waging." Albert Camus

For many people the idea of sharing their faith is terrifying. This conjures up images of conflict and emotional stress that can immobilize people at the very thought of evangelism. I have spoken with Christian who are so easily overwhelmed by the idea that they will avoid it at all cost. They may be like what Albert Camus who wrote about; keeping the peace above all things. However, sharing your faith is very rewarding and can be inspiring to your own spiritual growth. 

What if I told you that there are two strategies of evangelism that you can use that can reduce the stress? What if I told you that there is a path of least resistance? Would you give it a try if it came with guarantees? Or if you can fairly sure that there would not be conflict at the very suggestion of the gospel. 

Too often we work so hard at being a peacemaker that we miss the opportunities that God has for us. My hope is that this will challenge you to take a risk to realize the eternal reward that is available in Jesus’ name. As Christians, we are called to be peacemakers and we are also called to reach others for Jesus, as His witness. That requires a risk but I do believe that we can have a peaceful engagement in our world through the following strategies that I will explain. You might say that we are taking the path of least resistance but hopeful that we can make an eternal difference if we dare to confess Jesus.

I remember like it was yesterday my very first opportunity to share my faith. I was in high school and the pressure & fear I felt was like spreading frozen butter over dry toast. Like nails to a chalkboard, the fear of failure was very much on my mind. 

It was over lunch and the subject of my youth group came up. A comment was made, "Oh you don’t go to one of those, do you?" I quickly gathered my thoughts. I didn’t want to be like Peter who denied Jesus. I wanted to be bold and assertive but instead I simply said, "We do fun things there too, you know!" I felt as if I was defensive and hostile but I didn’t know what exactly I should do. It was fortunate for me that one of my other friends, who also attended a youth group, spoke up in my defense. Her answer was an example for me. She simply said, "Do you want to go with me the next time we meet and see for yourself?" 

All I remember from that point on was that I needed to be more positive and easy-going when it came to sharing my faith. The opportunity to talk about Jesus was really not as difficult as I made it out to be. I have come to realize that it is only my responsibility to share what I can about Jesus. When Jesus sent out the 72 recorded in Luke chapter 10 he told them to take little provisions and depend upon that which is given to them. He shared with His disciples that whatever home welcomes them that they have the obligation to fellowship and to share about Jesus. The responsibility in the decision to follow Jesus is up to those that we minister to. In fact, he told his disciples that whoever does not receive them that they are to just simply wipe the dust off their feet and move on. It tells me that if I simply remain faithful that God will do the work in the hearts of people.

Since realizing this truth, I have found that there are many opportunities that are before us. I have since been involved in many of different strategies to evangelize. I have attended seminars and even took classes in preparation for the ministry that prepared me to deal with nearly every circumstance that could arise when it came to evangelism. I have knocked on hundreds of doors and have spoken to even hundreds more through casual acquaintances and brief encounters that the Lord has led me to. Through each of these experiences, I have learned to depend on the Lord.

Evangelism can take on many different functions from friendship evangelism, proclamation evangelism, acts of service evangelism, and even what I call, "crisis evangelism." The term "crisis evangelism" is a much more popular phrase today but it was years ago when I would apply those tactics. In the early 90’s I designed my entire ministry philosophy around five different opportunities for ministry and evangelism. The ideas were simplistic but seemingly effective. I thought of the different times in peoples lives when there were potential threats and difficulties that people faced. Those included; marriage, the birth of a child, family crises, illness, and the death of a loved one. Later in life, as my children became teenagers I would’ve added raising teenagers as a sixth crisis evangelism opportunity.

A friend and I were talking one day about evangelism and he attributed a phrase to Dr. Billy Graham; "Evangelism without discipleship is irresponsible." I haven’t yet found the evidence or who actually offered that phrase but I tend to agree with it. Everyone that we witness to and even lead to Christ needs to be led and discipled. It is fruit that needs encouraged because of the complexities of life and the need for understanding of God’s Word.

However, if the first step is not completed then there’s no need for the second step. We must evangelize in order to have disciples. Too often I find people willing to disciple others who havevnever shared their faith. That doesn’t seem to be the order of God’s plan as we read Matthew 28. He did tell us that we all are to go, proclaim, then baptize abd disciple. I have to believe that is God’s plan for us. We are to lead people to Jesus and then disciple them. He is telling us in the great commission that we all have the responsibility to lead others to Jesus and disciple them. This is not just reserved for those who have the gift of evangelism or the gift of teaching but it is for every one whom God equips and who are filled with His Spirit.

Let me share with you that there are two paths of least resistance when it comes to sharing your faith in Jesus. If you are a follower of Jesus you have the responsibility of sharing your faith. This is part of your act of confession that Jesus is Lord. In fact, every time that you confess with your mouth you reaffirm your faith and tell others of the transformation that God has done in you.

1. Testimony.

When you examine your testimony you come to realize that the story is more about what God has done in you than it is about you. A testimony of Jesus Christ is a witness because of the way He has worked in our life both in the past as well as in the present.

I talk to many people about evangelism in a growing trend is what is called "friendship evangelism". This trend is popular because it requires little commitment on our part and it is met with little resistance on the part of those who we talk to.Yet, I find it ineffective. 

I’ve heard people tell stories of how they have become friends with someone of a different faith or no faith at all. They spend time sipping coffee and discussing the current affairs of the day. When I asked them about how it’s going with sharing their faith, they simply respond but they don’t want to put any pressure on their friend. They confess that they’ve kept the conversation rather casual. While I agree that we should be friendly I’m not sure how effective it is in reality. Often I have asked the question about a person coming to faith or even joining them at church. Over and over again I hear that but have not gotten to that point yet. Months and even years can pass without let me even sharing a simple testimony.

The truth is that our world is very accommodating and if we have a personal testimony of how God has changed our hearts and minds or has provided for our needs, we need to let others know. Our world is generally kind and may even reciprocate the relationship but sharing our faith gives them the motivation of our heart. 

In fact, I have never been insulted or criticized by anyone ay anytime I have shared my testimony. I want to emphasize that a little more deeply. Even if what I share is not put in to the best of terms, as long as I am authentic people will generally respond positively. I don’t have to have a polished speech ready. In fact, I would encourage it to come from your heart and to share about your vulnerable times as well.

There are opportunities that we are confronted with every day in which we can give our "elevator testimony". There are opportunities for us to share a 30-second testimony about what God is doing in our lives. Even a simple phrase spoken with authenticity can open the door to evangelism. "How are you doing?" can be that key. 

Often I believe that we are afraid to risk in fear of rejection or persecution so we stay silent on the sidelines. We never really know but what you say can actually be just what the other person needs to hear. If we say it with kindness and genuineness, most people will reciprocate. 

In fact, because of your kindness you can be a silent witness but God doesn’t always receive glory until you confess that your motive is because of Jesus. People say, "What a nice guy. " However, they may never know that you weren’t always that nice. Not until you confess Jesus with your mouth will people be impacted by the ministry of evangelism.

Take a few minutes and write down a brief testimony that you could use the next time you are at a restaurant or at the checkout lane. It could sound something like this:

"Thank you for your service today. You exhibit values and traits that I appreciate. There was a time in my life when I was not patient like you. People frustrated me. That is until I came to know Jesus Christ." 

A simple phrase allows you to confess Jesus with your mouth and not cast negative judgment on another person. It opens the door for a brief encounter. You don’t have to quote verse & text to get your message across. There is a great likelihood that you will see them again so you can follow up with that context of relationship with an invitation to church or special event or another simple expression of God‘s love.

2. Prayer.

Another tactic that I believe could be used is prayer. I find it to be a path of least resistance when it comes to sharing my faith in Jesus. I have never had anyone refuse my invitation to pray for them. While I may not be able to pray for them at that moment I can add them to my prayer list. Most people receive that genuine invitation with a heart of gratitude.

I was having lunch with the pastor one day at a local restaurant when I decided to use a genuine concern to meet the needs of our waitress. The waitress had already served us our meal and filled our drinks and was simply stopping by to see if there was anything else she could do for us when I said to her, "You have been so kind and patient with us. You are treating me better than I deserve. Is there anything that I can pray about for you?" At that moment the waitress begin to break down and cry. She leaned over and in a soft tone to say to us that she has several serious concern and expressed appreciation for our interest. I asked her if I could pray for her that moment without hesitation she said, "Indeed!" She wept as I prayed for God’s blessing on her life and following our prayer she seemed as if there was a huge weight that have been lifted. With a smile she simply said, "Oh, here’s your bill."

I thanked her for her service and I left a generous tip. My opportunity to be a witness was coupled with a heart of generosity through my tip. I believe God could use this to further provide opportunities to be a positive witness in the future. This was a simple and yet authentic way to evangelize. I don’t believe that she thought I was weird or a fanatic or crazy.

We all have those opportunities because we do go to the store or to a restaurant. There are always opportunities if we are prayerful and we were looking out for them.

On one of my business trips I stopped at a fast food place during a busy lunch hour. I happen to be a woman who appeared to be homeless asking for handouts. Instead of just giving her a few bucks I asked her if I could buy her a meal? She joined me at the cash register as I said to her, "Pick anything that you want because I’m buying." She made her selection and after paying I stopped and said, "Can I pray for you?" She said but it was okay. Without thinking about the customers behind me I begin to pray for her out loud with my hand on her shoulder. It was a long prayer and it was truly authentic and genuine. As I finished praying I suddenly realize that I was holding up the line. As I turned to apologize I noticed that most people in the line we’re also bowing their heads with several giving me a gentle smile indicating that it was okay as if to say that there’s always time for prayer.

These two tactics can be a positive means, if used appropriately and with a genuine heart of love and care to be a positive witness. You may even have the opportunity to pray as someone receives Jesus in their hearts.

We read the scripture in Luke 10 that Jesus taught his disciples to be a witness. He told them that the fields are ripe unto harvest so pray that the Lord would send out workers to gather the harvest. This metaphor would’ve been easily understood by his disciples as being prepared to go out and be a positive witness to proclaim the ministry of Jesus. If we say that we are his disciple then we have an obligation to be a witness to those around us. Believe me, I meet many people for the very first time and I use these simple tactics and a genuine and loving way to share about Jesus. It’s not because I’m a preacher that it makes it easier. In fact, most people don’t know that about me. I’m just a patron getting a sandwich and then I’ll be on my way. My hope is that I could drop a seed in the life of another so that I’m doing my part to make a difference.

One final note and an assignment. Often I will pray a prayer inviting God to give leadership to my opportunity to witness throughout the day. I simply pray, "Lord, send a divine interruption into my life today. Send someone that will not be on my radar but instead an interruption so that I have no choice but to follow through with sharing my faith because it was you that sent them." Pray this prayer each day and see what God has in store for you.

Three Lessons I’ve Learned From Doing Church Work; Actually Four.

The ministry of the church is very complex. It is very rewarding with lots of wonderful stories about the grace and spiritual gifts of the Lord at work in His church. There’s nothing like it. 

It is a living organism with lots of moving pieces. It is likened unto the body with its complexities and all the different parts that work together. It is a mystery that invokes curiosity and we see miracles which motivate us to be active in our Call to ministry. I have always been amazed and there is never a dull moment. I have been involved in the ministry of the local church as a minister for over 30 years and I can tell you that there are experiences that are so unique that most people would never believe the half.

Perhaps you are like me. When you do something long enough you begin to take note of some of the lesson learned that are most important. Sometimes it’s hard to separate the work of the ministry from personal matters. Many times I felt that it was a 24 hours a day, 7 days a week type of responsibility. The mission of the church is all-encompassing and extensive. 

Today my family ranks highest in my priorities but, early on in ministry it was not always the case. When I first entered into the ministry, I was so excited about ministry that I would often spend almost all my time at the church and in ministry. I would say that I’m not the best example but it is both case and point. On the very day that my wife was expecting our first child, she called me up at the church asking when I was going to finish my meeting. The clues were not immediately obvious to me because all I simply said to her was, "I should be done within the hour." Some of the ladies, more sensitive simply said, "What she means is that the baby is coming and you really need to leave now to go to the hospital." That was nearly thirty years ago. 

I loved being active in the ministry of the church. I had the fortunate opportunity that my family could participate in many of the ministries that I was leading. Whether that was teaching Sunday School or youth group activities and outings, my family was often with me. In many cases, I even took them for granted. 

Not every vocational or career allows you to take your child to work with you, but in the ministry of the local church, that was pretty common. I’ve learned a few things since those days. The following is a list of three, no four lessons that I’ve learned in doing local church ministry. You might say that I have been to the school of hard knocks because many of these lessons came as a result of hardships.

1. Most people are forgiving.

There are countless examples of times when I have personally experienced that most people are forgiving. My first sermon, my first youth outing, or my first choir cantata taught me that people are filled with grace and mercy. I have made major blenders in my ministry years and have discovered that people will forgive you, at least most will forgive you. Then there are some who may never forgive you.

The nature of the ministry is so broad that it’s possible that your blind spots are clear to everyone but yourself. Even in areas of natural abilities and strengths, I can often remember times when I produced anxiety and frustration in others. From my perspective I was doing just fine. Yet, from the perspective of others I was creating problems and added to the stress that people felt. 

I learned that there are some who were negatively impacted by my passion and zeal and who may have even been offended by how I went about doing my ministry. Some would simply tell me graciously while others would simply quietly remain frustrated and even angry. 

I believe I’m much more sensitive today but I am human. As I surfed through life, carefree I would leave a wake of mistakes along the shoreline of people’s lives. It was years before I could understand the negative impact of my actions and decisions. While most people are pretty forgiving there are a few who just simply cannot forgive. 

I’ve met some pastors who are actually grateful when people leave their church because they believe deeply that it’s best for those people to move on. These notions are of course wrong but preachers like me reasoned that the problem couldn’t have been mine. Sometimes our actions create such a barrier in the relationship that people have no choice but to go to a different church. I’ve never understood the belief that it was best for them to move on because I now hold to the belief that everyone has value, everyone has something to offer. That lesson came after much hardship and trouble that may in fact was the result of my doing. 

Today I encourage new pastors in the process of vocational training to listen more and be people with gifts and graces. I have learned how essential it is to be confident in the Lord but humble in the care of others. 

2. I can’t do it all by myself.

One of the most difficult realizations that I came to learn in my ministry is that I don’t have the ability to do it all by myself. It was in my early years but I can recall a time when I felt as if I didn’t need anyone else and that it would be far more difficult to train someone then if I just did it myself. After all, I was the trained professional, so I thought. This philosophy of ministry drove me to do more and more and it communicated to others that they were not needed. I didn’t understood in those early years that I was being a "martyr". I thought it was admirable to think that I could be the hero and receive all the accolades but in actuality, I was really crippling the ministry of those around me. I needed to trust others and train them to the work of the ministry. 

I remember coming to a place when I was emotionally drained and literally didn’t even have time to take a vacation or a day off. I would work early in the morning and late at night trying to get it all done because I thought that it all was depended upon me. I thought those early years that I needed to run all of the meetings and that I needed to execute all of the action steps. I even thought it was a spiritual gift that drove me to do it all by myself. When I would get together with my peers and other colleagues I would even brag about how useful I was, even how much the ministry needed me. I would complain about how "no one else can do it." 

I still believe that I need to work hard but I need to delegate, train, and trust others to do the work of the ministry. I know now that if I am going to be effective, I need to trust others. I don’t mean to say, use people as if they are my minions but to allow people to experience the benefits and joy of serving. 

In recent years I have discovered that doing things in my own strength is not healthy. I felt better about myself for a period of time. I actually came to enjoy the compliments that came with being the Lone Ranger in ministry. I didn’t even have a faithful assistant who would ride along life‘s journey.

3. A greater dependency on God‘s Word.

The complexities of life and the issues that people have reminds me that I need to depend on the Lord’s Word in my life. While the ministry was always changing, Truth is most often challenged. I don’t believe that in my early years it was any more difficult than it is today but I thought I had all the answers. I was confident in myself. That lasted for a time but I fell short. 

Often I felt like I needed to have all the answers to questions that I never really proposed to myself. The authority of God‘s Word has always been challenged by people of the world, whether in the church or outside of the church.

I can remember times when families would come to me with complexities about underage drinking and drugs or early age pregnancy. As a youth leader the answers seem to come easy as I reflected on the hardships that people faced, made more complex by poor choices. I don’t say that to be judgmental but the reality is that people do make bad decisions that impact them for the rest of their lives. 

In church ministry we are confronted by those hardships and often people want to blame God when they never even consulted him in the first place.

Over the years I have found myself more and more dependent upon what God’s Word has to say. There are always those who misalign the Scriptures or proof text something to fit their philosophies but the bottom line is that God‘s Word is the authority and it does prevent many of the foolish actions of mankind.

Pastors are not only called to preach and teach but they are called to be pastoral while serving as counselors and consultants as well as using parenting skills. The vocation of pastoring is not a simple science like other professions. I believe that is a vocation but that doesn’t minimize the importance of being professional and being trained. They are just too many details to life and we must become scholars of the Word of God.

4. It seems like the more that I discover about church work, the less I really know.

I have learned that the more I know, the less I really know. It’s such an oxymoron to realize that as you experience the ministry you become much more humble in the process. Over the years I have went from knowing all the answers, at least I thought I did, to seemingly knowing that I need to know more. 

Let me illustrate that this way. When I was a youth pastor and had no children of my own yet I seemingly was the expert on parenting. I would hear what my students would say to me about their parents and like every young adult, I would come up with ideas of my own. Then, that day came when I had my own child. It wasn’t long before I realize that I really didn’t know anything at all about parenting. I came to realize that I was a student more than an expert. I laugh at myself when I think about calling parent meetings in my living room and my first church when I thought that I could tell the parents how to raise their children. It was textbook knowledge with no experience at all.

After all of these years of ministry, just when I think that I seemingly have heard at all, there are still surprises. There is a debate about scripture or the complexities of someone’s life that causes me to realize that I really don’t know it all. 

I believe what the wisest man, Solomon said of life. He is indeed correct. There is nothing new under the sun and it is all vanity, vanity.

I hope that the lessons I’ve learned in ministry over the years can be helpful for those developing to become ministry leaders. Learning from someone else’s life journey can help people avoid pitfalls.  

"God calls and the church recognizes, examines, and validates that divine vocation." - Willimon

For Good Men To Do Nothing

In times of crisis there are a variety of speeches and quotes that have become hallmark expressions. With Martin Luther King, Jr. it was, "I have a dream." For Abraham Lincoln it was his memorable speech, the Gettysburg Address. For Winston Churchhill it was, "We will never surrender." Even if I just mention famous names you would associate their famous quotes or speeches such as, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Mother Teresa, George MacArthur, and Florence Nightingale. The list goes on. During great times of national struggle and triumph, there are those that rise to leadership.

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."

Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/edmund_burke_377528

Edmund Burke is credited for saying this quote. This famous line has been quoted often during great crises. It is a famous line that is both motivational and triumphant. It evokes a sense of duty and is a rally call that unites. 

The Irish philosopher is recognized as the one of the greatest leaders and the father of the conservative party in England and also in modern days, he is credited for his conservative thought and politics. His writings and thoughts in modern days has evoked a sense of responsibility for people. We must be people of action is essentially what he is saying.

While it often has been attributed to him in great speeches including the Inaugerational speech of John F. Kennedy, yet, in reality, there are serious doubts that he actually said it. It is true, however that he did similar things like this in his early writings.

Nevertheless, it is quotes like this one that carries through generations.

"...quotations from Burke and Mill are conceptually related to the quote under examination, but neither expression is close textually. In October of 1916 Charles F. Aked used a maxim in a speech that was similar but not identical."

Look at the full history of the quote here.

No matter the origin of the authorship, this quote is worthy of examination.

Today I want to spend just a few moments attributing my thoughts to this famous quote. For good men to do nothing carries with it a dramatic overture that causes us to stop and ask, what would happen if no one took action? This quote is not just directed toward men of course, it is for everyone.

Each generation seems to have those that step forward to lead. Nelson Mandela is such an example. Leading in Africa through civil inequality and bringing hope for all meant that he stood out as a leader.

Each of us can look around and see the inequalities of those oppressed. We  raise the banner of hope. Like Nelson Mandela, famous for saying, "May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears." His positive, hope-filled attitude, even while even being imprisoned made a difference. 

For me at this time of my life i am bringing hope to the vulnerable children in foster care. Each of us must decide that we will act through compassion and love in order to make a difference in the lives of another. Even against the current pressures we may face, through adversity and hardship, we are called to action. 

Often what keeps us going in the midst of adversity and trial is hope. Hope is the only thing stronger than fear. We have a vision beyond ourselves for the good of all. This encourages us to be people of courage and conviction. It challenges us to be people of action. To do nothing is to allow evil to succeed.

You might say that I’m a bit obsessed about the history of World War II. I just can’t help myself. I often read articles and watch TV programming on that  time in history. My wife often says to me, "Why do you like Hitler so much?" What she doesn’t understand is that it’s not Hitler that I’m interested in but rather the history of this war. Hitler just happens to be center stage during that war. When we think of evil, nothing comes to mind worse than to think about the holocaust in such terrible times as World War II. For Hitler to succeed, all he really needed is for good people to do nothing. That’s exactly what happened when the French sought for peace. He marched his army over the borders with an invasion of little resistance. 

All throughout the war there were many who failed to act when they could have prevented such atrocities. Even the United States of America failed to enter the war at first, while only supplying military arsenal, they stayed out of the war until the attack on Pearl Harbor. Over and over we see examples of good people doing nothing.

No matter who ultimately made the statement the profound truth and its application in our every day life. The sin of omission, that is to do nothing, has great consequences. To turn the blinds eye or to say it’s not my problem are excuses that keep us from action. We know all to well the consequences of inaction.

As we look to the scripture we find that even Jesus could be cited as making a similar statement when he said that we are to do unto the least of these around us. He warned us in the scripture that we are not to be like those who do nothing.

Matthew 25:44-45 | Then they themselves also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not take care of You?’ Then He will answer them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.’

For good men to do nothing should be a quote that is attributed to no one. Each one of us can do something and should take action to make a difference.